Alexia Eden (FairyTales Don't Exist) (31 page)

He shifts and pulls me closer into him and I can feel his warm bare chest against my back as well as his evident arousal poking at my lower back, his hand travels under my shirt toward my chest. I inwardly sigh and roll my eyes. 

I can’t help but think that all these wolves and their hearing would probably be able to hear if something was too happen tonight within these sheets, meaning Jax would hear since he’s in the room opposite mine.

“Drake I’m too tired, please let’s just go to sleep.” I say as I hold his hand against my breast forcing him to stop playing.

“Okay Lex what’s going on? We haven’t done anything since that night on the beach. Is this because of the whole Chelsea thing? I told you nothing happened. Why don’t you want me to touch you Lex?” Drake says sadly sitting up looking down at me.

I feel terrible for neglecting him and being distant, I still have Drake and I should be focused on him, he
is
my boyfriend after all…
not
Jax. I turn and cuddle into his chest wrapping my arms around him tight.

“I’m so sorry Drake, I didn’t mean to be distant
 it’s just that the more intimate we are... the harder it will be for me to leave tomorrow. I know this first week is going to be the hardest but I promise when I see you on the weekend I will be back to my normal self. This whole moving thing is stressing me out even though I know it’s for the best.” I say as I give him a soft kiss.

He reciprocates and squeezes me tighter, kissing me back with such force I can only presume that Sebastian has taken over control. I’ve missed Drake and being close like this with him. We make out for a few more minutes before we finally separate and let out heavy breaths.

“I understand Lexi, it’s going to be hard here without you. We love you so much, don’t ever forget that.” Drake says as he speaks for both Sebastian and himself.

We both get comfortable, Drake falls asleep quickly with me cuddling into his chest, I used to be able to fall asleep so easily in his arms but now I can’t because once again my thoughts are consumed by none other than…Jax.

A few hours go by and I’m exhausted but I just can’t fall asleep, I slowly get out of bed and agree that maybe if I have a nice warm glass of milk it may help me fall sleep. The floor is cold so I pull on a pair of socks. I’m wearing short pajama pants with a large t- shirt over. I tip toe out of the room even though I know Drake is a heavy sleeper. As I turn into the passage and close my door, behind me Jax’s door from across mine opens.

A tall gorgeous blond girl comes out wearing Jax’s shirt and holding her heels in her hand, she gives me a sheepish smile and through the light that comes from inside his room I see her blush. Jax comes out of his room wearing only boxers, he spots me there and suddenly he looks shocked as if I caught him doing something he shouldn’t. I’m not stupid and I can put two and two together, I look down at my shaking hands.

This isn't happening...this isn’t happening.

I quickly turn and walk faster down the passage. I know this shouldn’t hurt that he’s sleeping with other girls, he’s not mine to have but it really REALLY does hurt. I make my way to the kitchen and slide onto the floor near the cabinets
 in the corner and sob into my hands silently in the dark.

It took him to have sex with another more attractive girl…someone more fitted for him, for me to realize….I am so deeply in love with him.

I knew my feelings toward him were stronger than a normal friendship, we have something special…
well…we had something special
. Now I just feel betrayed, even though I don’t have the right to be but it still feels like I was cheated.

I hear footsteps near me and I immediately know its Jax by his minty smell. I look up to see his sad face through the darkness, I lift myself up and try get away from him but he grabs my hand.

“Just wait baby…let me explain please…” he says in a sad rough voice.

“Don’t touch me and DON’T call me baby…You don’t have to explain either...” I say through sniffles as I pull my hand away from him and attempt to get as far away from him as possible.

He growls, roughly pulls my arm so my body clashes with his , then he picks me up and sits me on the cold counter. He places his large body between my legs and holds my hips so I can’t move. I try to get away but he growls louder and I quickly succumb. I avoid looking into his eyes and even his bare chest so I look down at my hands that are trembling as the tears fall onto them from my chin.

He tries to wipe the tears away but I slap his hand away. “Don’t…just don’t Jax…what’s done is done. I get it okay.…just don’t touch me.” I pull my hand up to my face to cover the sobs that take over my body.

I don’t want him to touch me after he’s
been
with her.

He pulls me into his chest and holds me tight against his body ignoring my objections as I shove and push at his chest, he rubs his hands down my hair and back trying to calm me and it works and the fact that he still has this effect over me makes me cry harder.

“Shhhh…baby it’s okay…I’m here, I love you Lexi.” He whispers into my ear.

“No Jax…you don’t love me enough for this to ever work. Do you know how shit I feel every time I even give Drake a peck? You can imagine how bad I felt when things got more serious. But I never slept with him Jax….never. I’ve been avoiding him all week because I don't want to hurt you. I can’t even sleep because you’re all I can think about and everything you said that night was true, I am a slut, I’m so selfish because I want both of you!“

He tries to interrupt me but I stop him.

”No! Let me finish then you can talk, I need to get all of this out. I know I have no right to feel this betrayed that you slept with someone else, but that’s it Jax, I never slept with my own boyfriend and you were so quick to sleep with some random girl. It hurts so bad and it shouldn’t…
 I shouldn’t have these feelings for you especially when I know you don’t feel the same love I feel for you. Jax don’t you get it? I’m in love with you… and… I’m in love with Drake, what am I supposed to do now? Tell me Jax… because… I really don’t know…” I say as I burst into tears but he continues to stand there silently as I wait for him to say something comforting like he usually does. I push him off me with all the strength I’ve got, he moves away and gives me a sad look but he says... nothing.

I stand there for a few minutes waiting for something to come out of his mouth but he doesn’t say anything he only gives me a sad detached look, I can’t stand there another minute longer.

He doesn’t love me back….not the way I love him.

I turn and run back up the stairs as I get to my door I quickly wipe the tears away.

I have to get out of here…

I quietly walk into the bathroom and dress, I don’t really care what im wearing so I pull on a long vest and a pair of black tight leggings; I wash my face and pull my hair into a pony. I exit the bathroom and notice Drake is still fast asleep. I climb in bed behind him and cuddle up to him, I give him kisses on his cheeks and he begins to wake up.

As I look down at my handsome boy I scold myself for even thinking of leaving him for Jax, I tell myself that from now on I’m going to focus all my attention on him. Drake loves me as much as I love him and he deserves all the love I have…even if that means letting go of Jax. I swallow the lump that’s forming in my throat at the thought of losing Jax but it’s something that has to be done if I want to keep Drake.

“Hey babe, why you up already?” Drake says in a husky voice stretching out his arms.

I climb on top of him and hold tightly onto him with my face in the crook of his neck, I don’t want him to see the tears that are now falling. I’m going to miss him so much these next couple of days, I'm so ashamed of the way I’ve been acting and treating him, that’s why I’m crying. I’m not going to waste anymore of my tears on Jax.

I clear my
 throat as I say, “It’s already six in the morning cutie, I want to leave before everyone gets up. I can’t say goodbye to Ronny and them, it will be so much harder for me to leave but I had to say goodbye to you. I don’t know if I can do this Drake… I’m going to miss you so much.” I say as I look down at him.

He pulls me closer into him and cuddles me into him and nuzzles my neck.

“I know baby, but we’re going to speak to each other every night and I’ll see you this weekend. I don’t want you to go either but I have to do what’s best for you. I love you Lex and I’m going to be right here when you get back.” He gives me a soft kiss and hug. I climb off him and tell him he can go back to bed and I will text him when I get there.

All I have to take with me is in a raggedy old duffel bag and I’ve left clothes here for when I come back on weekends. I give him one last kiss then leave after putting a pair of Uggs on and Drakes hoody that he told me to take with because it smells of him.

I exit my room and keep my eyes away from Jax's door. I walk quickly out of the back door and to my car. I throw my bag in the backseat and climb in. I hear doors opening and the light turn on near the back door so I quickly reverse my car and drive away.

I look in my rear view mirror in time to see Jax run out the house calling me to come back but I just continue to drive away…away from Jax.

My phone has been ringing non-stop and I know who it is….Jax.

The pack house is quiet and it looks like everyone is still asleep, all the lights are off and since its cloudy and foggy outside the morning is still dark. I guess today is going to be just as gloomy as I feel.

I take my dirty boots off at the door leaving my socks on and tip toe up to my room. I step inside and tiptoe to my bed, my eyes start adjusting to the darkness. Just as I’m about to put my bedside light on I notice two large figures sleeping in my bed….Talon and Tyler.

I smile to myself.
I love these boys
.

I pull my hoody off and creep onto the middle of the bed between the two of them
.  

Damn they’re heavy sleepers…I thought werewolves had good hearing.

I climb under the covers in the middle. Tyler is lying on his stomach with his hands under his pillow facing the window. Talon is facing me, with his one arm bent under his pillow and the other resting on the bed near his chest.

I pull myself into Talons chest facing him, so that my ear is against his beating heart with my head under his chin. I gently lift his heavy arm and pull it over me as I pull my arm around his waist holding him close to me.

I sigh as I breathe in his scent which smells similar to Tyler’s which is sweeter where Talons is all musky and all man.

I pull him into me needing the comfort to soothe the sadness I feel after seeing Jax with the pretty girl, Talon tenses as he wakes up and then he puts his arm around me with his fingers lying on my lower back underneath my shirt. I hear him breathe in my scent and squeeze me gently as he kisses my forehead.

“Missed you my Angel…” he whispers against my temple.

“Missed you too Talon.” I whisper back and snuggle up to his warm body.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? What’s the time?” he says in a gruff morning voice.

It’s still early but I just needed to get away. I needed to see you guys…” I whisper swallowing my tears as I think about the past few days.

I wonder if they know that Georgina wasn’t my mother?

“You okay?” Talon says as he places his palm on my jaw and moves my face upwards to look at him, revealing my teary eyes.

“Oh no baby, don’t cry.” He wipes the tears away and holds me tight with his cheek against mine while he rubs my back gently. He pulls away from me after a few minutes and looks down at me with a troubled look on his face. “What happened?”

“Georgina’s not my mother…. And
h...he
wasn’t my father. I don’t know who is and Alex and Johnny have been lying to me the entire time. I don’t even know who’s telling me the truth anymore? I’m just so exhausted Talon.” He squeezes me as I let out a deep breath but I continue. “To make things worse, I’m so confused. I have a boyfriend but I’m in love with my best friend and I just caught a girl walking out of his room this morning dressed in his clothes. Then when I finally decide to tell him I’m in love with him he just stands there, he didn’t say anything. Not one word! I’m such a terrible girlfriend Talon, I don’t know why my emotions are all crazy, I know I love Drake but I know I need Jax and I don’t know how I will be able to be me... without him.” I ramble on as the tears and sobs break out again into my hands against his chest.

He pulls me closer into him and rubs my back, my cries and trembling body eventually stills while Talon whispers comforting words in my ear, I finally fall asleep embraced by his warm body shielding me.

I wake up and the room is still dark, I look over to Tyler who is still sleeping the same way I found him when I came in. I look up to see Talon just looking down at me; I take his hand and kiss it.

“Thank you.” I whisper. He smiles at me and kisses my forehead.

“Lexi?” I lift my head to look up at him, he moves the hair out of my face. “I love you too… you know.” He says shyly. I smile at him remembering the text I sent him and Tyler and the way each of them replied.