Aligned: Volume 4 (21 page)

“No. He can’t be. Today’s my birthday. He always gives me chocolates on my birthday.”

“You stupid brat. Your father didn’t care about you. He chose to kill himself on your birthday. What do you think that made him think about you?” Mother says.
 

I squeeze my eyes shut to try to block out the pain, but it doesn’t work. My mother’s words hurt anyway. They tell the truth, though. What loving father would kill himself on his daughter’s birthday?
 

I climb into the back of the car. Sean gets into the driver’s seat while Mom sits next to him. Sean drives us home in silence. His hands are steady on the wheel as he drives while Mom’s hands shake as she pulls some pills out of her purse. I don’t know what the pills are for. I didn’t think she was sick, but she takes ten, so she must be.
 

My eyes travel back to my brother. He’s so brave and strong. I try to hold back my tears. I try to be like him.
 

I don’t know what I expect when we get home, but it isn’t what happens. Mother doesn’t say a word to me. She just goes to her bedroom and locks the door.
 

I turn to Sean. I don’t know what we are supposed to do now. It doesn’t feel real yet. I don’t believe Dad is really gone.
 

I watch as Sean walks to the fridge and pulls out one of Dad’s beers.
 

“You aren’t supposed to drink that. Dad wouldn’t like it.”
 

Sean looks at me with empty eyes. “Dad’s not here.” He plops into Dad’s recliner with Dad’s beer.
 

I walk to my room alone. And I cry. I cry because today is my birthday, and not one person has told me happy birthday. I cry because something is wrong with my mother and brother. I cry because my father is gone. He didn’t even love me enough to stay one more day. He didn’t love me enough to last through his pain to tell me happy birthday.
 

I wait for someone to tuck me into bed, but then I realize no one is coming. Dad was the one who always tucked me in and kissed me good night, and now, he’s gone. I’m on my own, I realize.
 

I don’t bother changing out of my dress or brushing my teeth like I’m supposed to. Instead, I just climb into bed. I pull the covers over my head when I hear my door crack open. I pull the covers down hoping that it was just a terrible nightmare and that Dad is going to walk through the door to tuck me in like he always does.
 

When I look at the door, though, it’s not Dad, it’s Sean. I smile as he walks over to me, but instead of tucking me in like I expect, he climbs into bed next to me.
 

My brother and I aren’t close. He usually steers clear of me and thinks of me as an annoying little girl who tries to tag along with him. He never lets me, though.
 

I feel tears pouring down my cheeks out of nowhere, but this time, it’s out of happiness instead of sorrow.
 

“Shh,” he says as he wraps his arms around me.
 

I cry into his arms for a minute as he holds me close to him. So close that I smell his beer on his breath.
 

I close my eyes that I’ve been fighting to keep open. I just want to sleep and then maybe tomorrow will be better.
 

I feel Sean’s arms move, and I think he’s going to back to his bedroom, but he slips his hand under my dress. He rubs my stomach, and I begin to feel uncomfortable although I don’t know why. He’s rubbing my stomach slowly as if he’s trying to comfort me.
 

I try to move his hand slowly to my back. I know I would feel more comfortable if he rubbed my back just like Dad did.
 

Instead, he moves his hand back and begins moving it down to my panties. I jump out of bed. I don’t know why his move bothers me so much, but it does.
 

“Come here, Caroline. I just want to make you feel better.”
 

I feel my body shake. “No.”
 

He climbs out of bed and begins walking to me. That’s when I see he isn’t well. He sways as he walks.
 

He staggers to me, reaching his arm out like he’s going to grab me or hit me. I slink back into the corner of the room, not understanding what he’s doing.
 

“Stop,” I say. “Sean, stop.”
 

He doesn’t stop, though. He keeps walking forward. I close my eyes preparing myself for whatever he’s going to do.
 

But he doesn’t do anything. When I open my eyes, I see him on the floor and Landon holding a baseball bat. He runs over to me and grabs my hand. He pulls me out of my bedroom and out of the house. When we are outside, he holds me while I whisper over and over in his ear, “You saved me.”
 

When she’s done telling the story, she looks at me with tears in her eyes. “He stayed with me all night. We slept in my mother’s car.” She stops and thinks. “He was the only one who wished me happy birthday that day. He gave me a smushed cupcake and clips for my hair.”
 

She looks at me. “That’s the day I fell in love with him. I knew that day I wanted to be with him forever. He protected me. He saved me.”
 

I close my eyes as my own tears sting my eyes.
 

“So you can understand now. Every day since then, he’s been protecting me. I’m not sure what my brother would have done that night, but I know enough of my brother that night to know he would have destroyed me.”
 

I reach out, touch Caroline’s hand, and rub it as I have so many times before. I did it that night as she fell asleep. I smile at the misunderstanding. That is my luck. A simple misunderstanding is the only thing that has kept her from loving me instead of Landon.
 

“Landon wasn’t the one who saved you that night.”

She raises her eyebrows at me like I’m crazy.
 

“It was me.”
 

2. The number of people it took to save me.
 

I shudder feeling the aftermath of my orgasm. It was one of the most intense orgasms of my life and not because of what Ethan was doing to me. It was because of Landon. The way he looked at me.
 

His eyes alone made me come.
 

But now, all I see is Landon still attached to a chair tackling Ethan to the ground. And I can’t do anything to help him. I can’t save him like he saved me from losing myself when Ethan touched me. He saved me from being raped again. Because what happened felt like anything but rape.
 

I scream trying to get Ethan’s attention. But it doesn’t stop the fight. My eyes grow wide when Ethan stands to leave Landon still attached to the chair on the ground. I watch as Ethan grabs the gun and points it at Landon.
 

“I was going to wait to do this. I was going to let him watch every torturous thing I do to you, but I can’t keep him alive. Not now that he’s attacked me. He would just interfere with our fun.”
 

He looks at me and rips the tape off my mouth.
 

“I want to hear you scream when I do this.”
 

“Please,” I plead with tears already in my eyes. “Please.”

He smirks at me and then pulls the trigger. My eyes travel as fast as the bullet from Ethan to Landon’s eyes. Eyes that tell me he loves me before they close.
 

Ethan’s right. I scream, but it doesn’t make the pain any easier to bear. I thought I had felt pain before, but I was wrong. The pain at seeing Landon shot lying on the floor while I can’t do anything is the worst pain I’ve ever felt.
 

Love isn’t worth the pain. That’s been what I thought all along. I thought loving again would destroy me, and it has. At this single moment, it has. But knowing the pain, feeling it, isn’t enough to give up all the love I’ve experienced with Landon.
 

Ethan tosses the gun to the floor with a smirk on his face. He glances at his watch as he kicks Landon, and a low moan escapes his lips. He’s still alive.
 

“I have to go, sweetheart,” Ethan says leaning down and slobbering on my lips.
 

“Get away from me.”
 

“Enjoy watching Landon bleed out slowly. He’ll die from the blood loss before I get back.” He sighs. “I really wish I didn’t have to go. I would have loved to watch that with you. Don’t worry, though. The cameras will capture it.” He points at the corner of the room where a camera must be, but I don’t see one. “We will watch it together later. I have to go make sure James takes a deal that will keep him in jail for most of his life.”
 

“You won’t get away with this. You picked someone too public this time. The world loves Landon. You can’t just make him disappear.”
 

He smiles as he stands at the door. “Don’t worry about it. I already have it all planned out. See, I think that girlfriend of his who is having his baby would be shocked when she found out he was still sleeping with you. I think she would gladly kill you and Landon when she found out that depth of his deception.”
 

I suck in a breath. I hate Caroline, but she doesn’t deserve to go to jail for this. Her baby doesn’t deserve to grow up without either of its parents.
 

“No. Please don’t ...”
 

“I have to go.” I watch as he disappears out the door and then I’m alone. Naked and beaten with my arms still tied to the frame of the bed. I’m not worried about me, though.
 

“Landon!” I scream as soon as Ethan leaves the room. “Landon!”
 

I hear him groan, but he doesn’t say anything else. He doesn’t move. I can’t see where Ethan shot him, but it looked like his chest or stomach. I can’t even tell if Landon is breathing.
 

“Landon, please talk to me! Tell me you’re going to be okay.”
 

I wait, but all I get is another soft moan. It scares me how soft and quiet it is. He’s dying; I know that.
 

“Just keep breathing, Landon. I’m going to get us out here. I’m going to save us. Just don’t you dare stop breathing on me, Landon.”
 

I pull on my wrists that are still handcuffed over my head. They don’t move just like every other time I’ve tried them. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to save him.
 

Another pained moan comes from Landon making me fight harder against the handcuffs to try to get to him. I can’t, though, which only feeds my panic. I take a deep breath remembering all of the times Landon had calmed my panic attacks. How, just moments earlier, he kept me calm through one of the worst experiences of my life. Now, it’s my turn to return the favor.
 

“Don’t you dare stop breathing, Landon.” I glance around the room trying to find anything that could save us. Anything that could help. “You’re going to be a father, Landon. You’re going to be a father. You can’t give up.”
 

I look to my left, but nothing useful is on the nightstand.
 

“You never told me if you were having a boy or a girl. Either way, you’re going to be an amazing father, Landon. I imagine you having a girl, though. A daughter who you can protect and love with everything that you have.” I glance back at Landon. His shoulders move, thank god.
 

“You’re going to be a father. You’re going to have a daughter who you’re going to name something beautiful like Isabella. She’s going to be the love of your life. You’ll love her even more than you love your car.”
 

I glance from Landon to the gun lying next to him. If he could only move, he could grab the gun. He could kill Ethan the next time he comes back, but by then, Landon could be dead.
 

“I know you don’t think it’s possible to love something more than you love your car. Or to love someone more than you love me or Caroline or any of us. But just keep thinking about your daughter. You have to keep breathing. For her. She can’t grow up without you.”
 

I look to my right and see my prosthetic leg that Ethan ripped from my body. That he threw at me like it was a disgusting piece of trash. A tear falls down my face. Landon is going to die and I can’t do anything about it. And then I’m going to die.
 

I try to grab my prosthetic leg. Maybe I could whack Ethan with it when he gets back, but that’s all I would be able to do. Get one strike in and then he’d have control again.
 

Still, I grab it, and then I don’t know what to do. I have to find a way, though, to use it to save him. He deserves to be saved. He has to be saved for his daughter.
 

I slide my hand up my prosthetic leg that I never got fixed. I’m surprised it held up as well as it did when Ethan threw it.
 

The loose pin. If I can get it out, I might be able to pick the lock on the handcuffs and get free.

I quickly slide the prosthetic up until my fingers grasp the pin and pull it free.
 

“Just hold on a little longer, Landon. I’m going to save us.”
 

But somehow, you found the light that was still hidden in me.
 

You saved me.
 

I don’t know whether I’m living or dying. I don’t feel a thing. I don’t hear a thing. I’m just trapped and unable to move. Unable to die and unable to live.
 

And then I see a light, a beautiful light shining brightly. The light moves closer, getting brighter. I’m going to die. It’s here to take me away.
 

It takes me a second, but I realize it’s not a light walking to me. It’s a girl. The most beautiful little girl is skipping to me in a pink dress.