Aligned: Volume 4 (16 page)

Somehow, I find the strength, though. “Why?”
 

“Because I love you, and I couldn’t live without you.”
 

I suck in a deep breath and count to three before I speak, trying to let the anger subside. I can’t be mad at the mother of my child. No matter what she has done.
 

“That’s not a reason.”
 

“It’s true, though. I loved you and couldn’t bear to be apart. I couldn’t bear not to be yours. I still can’t.”
 

“Why, though? Sure, we’ve been friends since forever. But we tried dating, we tried the falling in love thing, and it didn’t work. If you admit the truth to yourself, you never fell in love with me, either. Not truly. Not when we were dating. Yes, I love you, and you love me, but it’s in the same sense that I love Drew. It doesn’t mean we should be together.”
 

She shakes her head. “You don’t understand. I do love you in that way. We struggled when we dated because neither of us could give up any control. Neither of us was willing to relinquish our independence.”

“Nothing’s changed.”
 

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t change that I still love you. I have since we were eight.”
 

I narrow my eyes at her. “What do you mean?”
 

“I fell in love with you when we were eight. I fell in love when you saved me.”
 

“What are you talking about?” I don’t remember saving her. Drew and I were just barely surviving. We didn’t have enough strength or money to save anyone else.
 

“It was my eighth birthday.”
 

I nod. I remember that day. I remember Drew and I saved all of our money to buy her a cupcake and a single candle to celebrate her birthday with. That can’t be what she is talking about. She couldn’t have fallen in love with me because I bought her a damn cupcake. And if she fell in love with me, she should have equally fallen in love with Drew. He was there. He did the same thing.
 

“You and Drew bought me a cupcake for me. You remember?”
 

“Of course, I remember.”
 

She smiles, but I still don’t remember what else she could be talking about.
 

“That day my father died. Mother turned into a pill popping mess. And my brother ...”
 

She closes her eyes unable to continue.
 

“Your brother ... What did he do?” I tilt her chin up to look at me. She looks so scared, so broken.
 

“He had been drinking. That was the first night I ever saw him drink. It’s probably the night that started the years of abuse. Years of drug problems. It’s what started it all.”

I hold her hand and nod. She glances down at our hands when I touch her, but she doesn’t smile. She’s still too lost in the world. Still trapped in time when she was eight and something horrible happened that I somehow saved her from.
 

“He tried to molest me. My brother. He tried to molest me.” She looks stoic as she says it. She doesn’t cry. Doesn’t show any sadness. Just calmness as if she has relived it long enough that it no longer affects her.
 

I cry for her, though. No child should go through that.
 

She looks into my eyes when she sees the tear fall. Her thumb caresses my cheek as she wipes the fallen tear. She smiles now when she looks at me.
 

“He didn’t succeed, though, because you saved me.” I take her into my arms and just hold her. I feel her body shake remembering that awful night, and I don’t make her relive any more of it. I just hold her. Even though I don’t remember how I saved her. Even though I have countless questions, I don’t ask them.

“You saved me,” she says again into my ear. “You saved me.”
 

I push him back until he’s standing, and I’m on my knees. I pull his thick cock from his pants and suck. His eyes intensify as I do showing me his pleasure, and I realize how much I want to bring him that pleasure.
 

“Do you have any evidence to back up your claims?” the officer asks. His voice isn’t harsh like I expected. I didn’t expect the police to so easily believe me, but they seem to be going along with every word that I say.
 

“Can I see the video?”
 

I watch as one officer smiles at me and walks out of the room. He enters again with a computer. He pulls the video up on the screen. I play the video and then wait. I wait until one of the worst nights of my life replays on the screen before me. Not because my brother threatened to kill me just so he could get enough money for drugs. Not because Landon almost killed my brother, but because I was sad when I found out he didn’t. I turned into a monster that night desperate to do anything to get away from my brother. Desperate to do anything to keep him from hurting me. And the only escape I saw was Landon. I loved him. I thought he would save me again when I wasn’t strong enough to save myself.
 

I click pause on the screen when we come on screen.
 

“There,” I say pointing at my brother’s hands. “Look closely at his hand. He’s holding a gun.” I watch as Landon’s lawyer and the police officers lean in close to get a view of the picture. Now that I point it out, it’s hard to miss. He’s holding a gun.
 

One of the officers nods and then smiles at me. “Thank you for coming forward. If we have any more questions for you, we have your contact information.”
 

I nod and stand as I’ve been dismissed.
 

“Wait. What will happen to my brother?”
 

The police officers exchange glances. “We will investigate the claims you have made, but he will most likely be charged with attempted murder and drug-related charges, depending on what we find in the investigation.”
 

I nod and then walk out of the room. He may finally be gone. I may finally be safe. I know I should have turned him in a long time ago. The fear held me back, though. And the lack of trust in a justice system I’ve never seen do any justice. I did the only thing I could do. I held onto Landon and his money that would set me free.
 

I glance up as I walk out of the small room, and I see Drew. He has a frown on his face at the sight of me. Landon may have forgiven me, but Drew sure hasn’t. I don’t think he will ever forgive me.
 

“Can I wait with you?”
 

He doesn’t answer. He just stares at me. I take a seat in the chair next to him. We watch as the officers and lawyer walk from the room I was just into where Landon is waiting to be told what they are going to do about the charges.
 

I can only assume they are going to be dropped, but I don’t know. They could still charge Landon with something, even though he was trying to defend me.
 

“I’m sorry.”
 

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to.”
 

I sigh. “I already apologized to Landon, multiple times. He’s forgiven me. Why can’t you?”
 

He faces me now as his eyes burn into me. “Landon only forgave you because you are having his child. If it weren’t for that, he would have already kicked you to the curb.”
 

His words sting, but I try not to let them affect me. Because I know that’s not true. He didn’t forgive me because I’m having his child. He forgave me because I told him the truth from our childhood.
 

“You of all people should be able to grant forgiveness.”
 

“Maybe, but right now, I can’t. You made me hate my brother. You made me think he was a monster for what he did. You made me...”
 

“I didn’t make you do or believe a damn thing. You chose to believe the lies. You chose to believe that your brother could do such a horrible thing without reason.”
 

He looks down at his lap. His hands twist in anger before he glances back up. “I know. Some brother I am. That’s why I didn’t ask for forgiveness. I don’t deserve it.”

We both turn as the door opens. Landon and his lawyer walk out.
 

“Free of all charges,” his lawyer says smiling.
 

I get up, run over to Landon, and wrap my arms around him. He smiles at me, but he holds back whatever emotion he is feeling.
 

I let go and glance back at Drew, who is frowning at me again.
 

I don’t care if Drew likes me or not. All I care about is Landon. I just got him back, and I’m not going to let him go.
 

1. The number of people it took to believe in my pictures and to convince me I was good enough. I could make a difference.
 

The room is foggy, and my head hurts. I blink several times trying to clear the fog, but it doesn’t clear. So I just keep my eyes closed trying to remember what happened. I was lying on the floor, my head was bleeding, and Ethan was holding a gun in his hand. He pulled the trigger, and I thought I was dead. I thought that was the end. It wasn’t.
 

He just used it to scare me. He didn’t shoot me. At least not with a gun. He pushed a needle into my neck instead. The same needle he stuck into my neck the night he raped me. The same needle he stuck in my neck the night he faked a car accident.
 

This time, though, when I wake from the fog, it’s different. This time, I remember. Everything.
 

I don’t know why this time is different. I don’t know why this mixture of drugs in my system cleared the chaos that floated around in my head, but it did. Everything aligns in place.
 

It’s too late. I’m going to die before I get a chance to use my new memories. I’m going to die.
 

I wiggle my arms but feel the sharp metal from the handcuffs dig into my wrists. My arms hurt from being stretched over my head and attached to each corner of the bedpost.
 

I test my legs and realize they are both tied with some rope to the other end of the bedposts. I can’t move.
 

“Comfortable,” Ethan says.
 

I blink my eyes trying to stop them from seeing multiples of Ethan as he walks over to the side of the bed, but it doesn’t work. The drugs are too strong, and I feel them trying to pull me back into a deep sleep. I fight it, though. I fight to keep my eyes open even though I can barely make him out. I will not let him see the drugs working on me.
 

He laughs. “The drugs are still drawing you under. Still pulling you back to that dark place. You shouldn’t fight it.”
 

I shiver as he touches my leg. Dragging his hand slowly up, he stops just short of my underwear. I keep shivering, and that’s when I realize I’m naked except for my bra and panties. Now, my body is shaking uncontrollably.
 

“That’s the drugs. You’re going through withdrawal as it leaves your system. You’ll feel worse before you feel better.”
 

I groan, as the pain gets worse, as if it was responding to his words.
 

He walks closer to me until he is standing over me. He strokes my hair, and I do my best to shrink away from his touch. I see his wicked smile as I do.
 

“You probably don’t even remember the last twenty-four hours.”
 

I close my eyes forcing them to be clear when I open so that I can look him in the eye when I say it. When I open them, I see him clearly. Clearly enough to see his wicked grin as he stands above me.
 

“That’s where you’re wrong. I remember ... everything.”
 

I see a second of fear cross his face, but then it’s gone. “You think you remember everything. Huh?”
 

“Yes. I do.”
 

He smiles and pets my face again. “Good. That will make these next few days more enjoyable. We will be able to have honest conversations while I torture you to within an inch of your life. Until you beg me to kill you.”

I keep my face calm. I don’t show the fear festering inside me. I won’t give him that satisfaction. But I need to know the answer to one question. One question that will haunt me if I don’t know before he kills me.
 

“Why?”
 

He shakes his head. “So eager.”
 

He runs his hand down my body until he grabs my breast and squeezes it.
 

I close my eyes trying to block out his touch as he continues to massage my breast.
 

“I guess you deserve to know why you are going to die. But the answer is much simpler than you would probably like to hear. I like torturing, raping, and killing women. It’s that simple. I’ve done it most of my adult life. It turns me on to watch women scream and cry and beg for me to kill them.”
 

My eyes widen. “I’m not the only one you have done this to.”
 

He moves his hand to my other breast, but I barely even feel it this time. “Yes, I’ve done this dozens of times to women who nobody wanted. To women who lived on the streets just like you did. I would seduce them. I’d drug them and rape them. And then I’d torture and kill them.”
 

“Why me then? Why didn’t you kill me right away?”
 

He looks at me, and I see the lust grow as he squeezes my breast too tightly. I don’t make a sound in response to his touch.
 

“I would say that you intrigued me more than the others, but that’s not true. The difference is that when you awoke from the drugs, you didn’t remember. The drugs caused you to forget. So unlike the other women, I didn’t have to kill you to keep my secret.

“I tried to keep my distance from you at first, but then I had an idea. Mother had been begging me to stop what I was doing. She thought I would get caught.”