Aligned: Volume 4 (15 page)

Not until now has she ever truly made my blood boil. My face is red, and my nostrils flare as the words leave her mouth.
 

I never thought of Landon as a monster. I never thought he was as bad as my father was. But when I saw that video, my whole view of him changed. For just a second, I thought he was this horrible monster. I thought he might even deserve prison if it wasn’t for the fact his unborn child would suffer like we did.
 

“Why?” I snap at her.
 

“After the attack, I took the surveillance tape. I convinced the owner to give it to me instead of the police. I needed it to protect him. But then, the next morning when you guys woke up and didn’t remember anything, I saw my chance, and I took it. That’s when I made the deal that kept my brother away from me by paying him the money he was so desperate for. The money that got him his drugs. That’s how I got Landon to agree to be with me. I blackmailed him with a video that shows how horrible Sean is, not Landon.”
 

I turn away from her not being able to look at her a moment longer. I’ve never been so angry or disappointed in someone. I can’t believe I betrayed my own brother. I can’t believe I thought he was capable of doing such horrible things.
 

I feel her grab my arm, but I force her to let me go.
 

“Please look at me.”
 

I turn, and when I do, I see her wince away from the look of anger on my face. She’s scared.
Good,
I think. She should be scared. She almost ruined my brother’s life.
 

“Please don’t hate me.”
 

I close my eyes to keep from seeing the fear in her eyes, but it just brings out the pain in my heart.
 

I hated my own brother for probably one of the bravest moments of his life. And I lost the woman that I love to a lie.
 

I walk away from her. I walk out of the bedroom only stopping to grab my car keys and wallet.
 

“Where are you going?”
 

“To free my brother.”
 

I head to the front door when I see him. Landon. My brother. My best friend. The only family I have ever had standing in the entryway. He looks tired and worn, but he’s here, and that’s all it takes for the anger to break and my heart to begin to heal.

1,000. The number of pictures I took before I realized my purpose.
 

“Prove it,” he says against my lips.
 

I hesitate, not sure what to do with his words. I need to prove to him that I came back for him. I need to keep him from growing suspicious. But I don’t know if I can give him what he wants? Can I really have sex with this monster?
 

I run my tongue across my lip while I think of how to show him how much I want him. I have no choice, I realize. I have to.
 

“Gladly,” I say as I grab his neck and pull his lips to mine. I thrust my tongue into his mouth before he has a chance to slip his tongue inside my mouth. I take control trying my best to show him my desperation. My need. My uncontrollable desire.
 

His hand travels up and down my body and lands on my ass. Just below where the gun hides in my shorts. A gun I would love nothing more than to remove and use to shoot him straight in the heart. I don’t have the evidence, though, and when I kill him, I will not be going to jail.
 

I kiss him harder trying to focus on making him grow wild with lust and need so that he doesn’t focus on the fact that I’m not exhibiting the same level of intensity that he is.
 

He moans as my tongue pulls out more desire in him. My hands begin moving hungrily over his body as my body pushes his back against the cabinets. Except it’s not hunger for him that is making my hands move, it’s anger and revenge. The need to make him feel as much pain as possible.
 

I kiss him again, but this time, my lip bites down hard on his, drawing far more blood than I ever did to Landon.
 

He pulls away with a wicked grin on his face.
 

“You want it rough, baby.”
 

I nod.
 

And he attacks back. His body slams against mine shoving me hard against the cabinets opposite of where we just were. My back aches from where the knobs from the cabinets dig into my back. I don’t cry out in pain, though. I don’t give him that satisfaction.
 

Instead, I grab his neck and force his body against mine until I can feel his hard cock growing against my belly. I want to cry in disgust. I want to push him away, but instead, I pull him closer to me. I force his disgusting, vile lips to stay locked on mine. He tries to return the favor by biting my lip, but I don’t let him. Instead, I claw at his back until I feel the skin rip exposing fresh blood.
 

He growls as I do. His eyes grow more with lust as he looks at me while my eyes grow darker with anger that I hope looks more like lust.
 

“You like that?”
 

He growls again as he sucks on my neck. “I love anything you do, baby.”
 

I feel his teeth sink into my neck, and I can’t hold back. I scream.
 

He takes my moment of weakness and lifts my body from the ground. I don’t protest. I let him lift me and do my best to cling to him. He carries me quickly up the stairs. His hand on my ass as he does. At one moment, as he readjusts my body in his arms, I swear he feels the gun, but if he does, he doesn’t say a word.
 

“Fuck, I want you,” my voice slithers in his ear just before he shoves my body hard against the bedroom wall as his lips and tongue claim mine. The dresser vibrates against the wall as I feel the pain in my back again.
 

He grabs my shirt and rips it from my body. His hand palms my breasts, and I moan. Not because I’m supposed to but because it feels good. I immediately hate myself for letting him turn me on even for a second.
 

I try to regain control of my body, but he slips his hand in my shorts. His hand finds my pussy and pulls my juices up over my clit. He rubs, and I moan. I close my eyes and imagine Landon touching me. I imagine his fingers inside me. I imagine his soft lips touching mine just before he brings just the right amount of pain. That’s what I imagine as I moan and pant. That’s what I pretend I’m reacting to. Landon’s touch. Not Ethan’s. That’s why my body is responding this way.
 

“Feels good doesn’t it, baby.”
 

I moan in response. It does feel good. He removes his hand just as I feel I’ll explode if he goes any further. He puts his fingers in his mouth tasting me while his eyes intensify their need.
 

I need to respond to show him how much I need him, so I grab the hem of his shirt and yank it off over his head until I can see his fit body. I smile as I do, trying to show my appreciation of his physique.
 

He undoes the belt on his pants, and I watch as they fall to the ground. I watch his cock spring free hard as a rock. I feel his eyes locked on my face. I try to keep my face from showing disgust at the sight of what I’m going to have to do.
 

He throws my body to the floor until I’m kneeling in front of him. His cock presses against my lips.
 

“Suck it.”
 

His cock presses harder against my mouth. I feel my lips turn down in disgust for less than a second; I close my eyes, and then I open my mouth to let him in. But his cock doesn’t push inside like I expect.
 

Instead, he laughs. I open my eyes and look up at him quizzically. He grabs my hair hard. Too hard and I cry from the sting.
 

“You stupid bitch.”
 

He throws me hard into the corner of the room. My head hits the edge of the nightstand as I fall. Hard enough that I’m sure I’m bleeding.
 

I look up at him with what I’m sure is terror on my face.
 

“You stupid fucking bitch. You thought you could lie to me. You thought you could trick me into giving you what you want.”
 

“What? I never lied to you.” I grab the side of my head to try to keep it from throbbing, but it doesn’t help. The pain isn’t going to leave. When I remove my hand, it’s covered in blood. The room seems to spin, and Ethan shakes as he stands in front of me. I try to get up, but the dizziness keeps me down. My stomach churns. I can’t move. Not without emptying the contents of my stomach or passing out from the pain in my head.
 

I stare at Ethan, who is still shaking side to side, but I don’t miss the movement of him pointing a gun at my head. It’s too clear, too focused for me not to notice.
 

I reach to my back trying to find my own gun, my own protection, but it’s not there.
 

He just laughs when I realize that he is holding my gun. How he got it without me noticing, I’m not sure. But he did.
 

“You were very convincing. Even Mother thought you did a good job of pretending to love me. But I knew. I knew you still loved that bastard instead of me.”
 

I curl up in the corner. He’s going to shoot. He’s going to shoot me right here. And I can’t do anything. I can’t save James or Daniel. I can’t save Landon. I can’t even save myself.
 

“It’s the only reason you came back. To save him. It didn’t matter, though. That bastard turned himself in.” He chuckles. “He’ll be in prison a long time now. And if he ever gets out, no one will ever buy his music ever again. He got what he deserves.”
 

His eyes darken as he looks at me. “You, though, haven’t gotten what you deserve yet.”
 

I close my eyes as I watch the gun moving closer. This is it. The end. I hear him cock the gun. I hear him pull the trigger. Then nothing.
 

I thought I’d lose myself too

In the bottom of a bottle

I thought I’d get sucked into.
 

“They let you go,” Drew says with a stunned expression on his face.
 

“Yeah, it seems that way.” I brush past him to the kitchen. My stomach is growling. I need food. And then I need to find Caroline and make sure she is okay. And then call Alex and make sure she knows she can leave. That she doesn’t need to protect me.
 

I walk until I reach the fridge. I open it and pull out a carton of eggs and bacon. I carry them to the counter and then glance up at Drew, who is walking into the kitchen with tears in his eyes. I cock my head in confusion. Drew doesn’t cry. He’s too rationale to cry.
 

His arms go around me as soon as he reaches me. He holds me in an embrace I’m not used to from him. It’s awkward and loving at the same time. I pat him gently on the back until he lets go.
 

“It’s going to be okay. My lawyer doesn’t even think I’ll spend any time in jail. Probably just get community service. Even though I feel like I should pay a lot more for what I have done.”
 

He shakes his head. “You won’t serve any jail time. You won’t serve community service either.”

I crack an egg over the stovetop. “Yeah, I will. They can’t let me go scot-free; even as much as they want to, they can’t.”

“No, you won’t.”

I stare at him my eyebrows raised.
 

“You won’t because you didn’t do what you think you did.”
 

God, what is it with everyone thinking better of me? “I did. I attacked him. I almost killed him.”
 

“Yes. You did that. But he deserved it.”
 

“No one deserves what I did.”
 

“He did. He had a gun held to Caroline’s back.”
 

“What?”
 

“He was blackmailing you to get his drug money. He hadn’t realized that you two had broken up. Not that it mattered. You would have reacted the same way whether you were together or not. He was using her to get money from you. Her own brother.”
 

I slump to the floor with a spatula in my hand. I try to remember that night. I can’t, though. I don’t remember any of it because of the alcohol. I rest my head in my hands trying to remember because I’m afraid it’s the only way I’ll stop feeling like the horrible person that I am.
 

Drew comes over and sits beside me. He places his hand on my back. “You’re not like our father. You’re not a monster.”
 

“Aren’t I?”
 

“No. I’m sorry for ever thinking that you were. If anybody is a monster, it’s Caroline’s brother. And maybe, even to a lesser extent, Caroline.”
 

I nod although I’m not sure I believe him. I still feel horrible. I still feel like a monster.
 

We sit in silence for a long time after that. Both apologizing without saying a word, even though neither of us has anything to apologize for.
 

“Can I talk to you?” Caroline’s voice is meek and scared. I glance up to meet her tear-stained eyes as she stands hugging herself. I glance at her belly that is just starting to protrude — just enough that it reminds me what she carries. My child.
 

I nod but don’t get up. I don’t think I can.
 

Drew does stand, though. He walks past Caroline giving her an evil glare as he does. I watch him disappear back in his bedroom, giving us privacy.
 

She walks slowly to me, expecting me to stand and greet her. When I don’t, she sighs before sliding to the ground next to me. She hugs her knees to her chest. She doesn’t say anything. I guess speaking is too hard. I understand; speaking is too hard for me too. Moving is too hard. Even breathing is difficult.