Aligned: Volume 4 (11 page)

Is she moving back to the condo? Is she going to sell this house?
 

As much as I want her back at the condo near me, I don’t want her to sell this house. Technically, the house is in her name, so she can do whatever she wants with it, but she bought it with the intention of us. This was supposed to be
our
home.
 

“Are you moving back to the condo?”
 

She avoids my eye contact as she picks up my guitar case and hands it to me. I reluctantly take it out of her hands.
 

“Alex?”

“It doesn’t matter. We are over. You should go.”
 

“Where are you going?”
 

I tilt her chin up to look at me. She closes her eyes as I do to block me out and not give me a response.

“Where are you moving to?” I ask again. I have to know. I have to know where to find her when I can no longer live without her. If I can’t come back here then where?
 

I run my thumb across her cheek and feel the light moisture that has formed there from a stray tear.
 

“Where?”
 

Her breathing becomes slow and steady the longer we stay like this. Every time I ask, she seems to find a way to calm herself with her breathing. She’s not going to tell me.
 

She would tell me if she was going back to the condo. I would find out soon enough anyway. She could be moving back to New York. Or she could be moving back with Ethan.
 

“No.”
 

Her eyes open as the word leaves my lips.
 

“No, you can’t go back with him.”
 

She bites her lips to keep words that will start a fight away from her lips. She’s calm, much too calm.
 

She moves from me and finds my suitcase and begins carrying it to the door. I run after her, grabbing the suitcase from her hand, and set it down on the floor.
 

“You don’t love him.”
 

She doesn’t move as I say the words, but she doesn’t deny them. She doesn’t love him. She loves me. She chose me, and I failed her.
 

I force our lips together one last time. It’s a desperate kiss. The most desperate kiss either of us have experienced. Our teeth clang and our tongues fight to get further into each other’s mouths. When I pull away, we are both panting and empty. We both know that was the last one. The last kiss.
 

I grab my bag and guitar while she opens the door for me.
He probably is a better man than I am,
I think as I step out of the door.
 

I turn back to her at the last second. “Don’t sell the house. Or let me buy it from you if you don’t want it.”
 

The tiniest of smiles forms on her sweet lips. “I could never sell it. It’s too much a part of me.”
 

I exchange my own small smile as I head to my car. I just wish she felt the same way about me.
 

He takes no time in savoring me once he has me undressed. I guess he thinks the moment won’t last if he does. He’s right, of course, because even I know as my body begs him to fuck me my heart tells him no.
 

I hate sitting in the waiting room alone. I’ve never done well on my own. Perhaps that’s why I chose a career as an actress. It involves being around many people.
 

I glance down at my phone. Five minutes until my appointment. Landon has always been there for me when I really needed it. Even when he almost destroyed my life. He has always been here for me. Through everything. I can’t imagine him missing this.
 

“Miss Parker,” the ultrasound tech says at the doorway.
 

I gather my purse and stand to follow the woman back. Except he is going to miss this.
 

I try to smile at the woman as I follow her back to the small room, but I can’t smile. If he misses this, it will only mean one thing — that he doesn’t care about this baby. Or me.
 

“You can lie down on the table,” she says. I drop my purse off on the chair and then climb onto the table.
 

“How far along are you?”
 

“About thirteen weeks.”
 

She smiles. “The doctor ordered an ultrasound just to check that the baby is forming correctly, and we don’t anticipate any problems. I know you recently had one, but the doctor would prefer you have one done here.”
 

I nod.
 

“Just give me a second to set everything up.”
 

I nod again. I stare up at the wall trying to keep myself calm, but all I can think about is I’m alone.
 

“Lift you shirt, please.”
 

I do and then I realize I’m not alone. I’ll never be alone again.
 

“This is going to be cold.”
 

I nod. I have nothing to say to the woman. I’m alone at an ultrasound, and it’s embarrassing. I never wanted to end up just like my mother. I never wanted to be a single parent, but I guess that’s what I am. I was wrong to depend on Landon. I was wrong.
 

She places the gel on my stomach, and I wince at the coldness covering my now curved stomach. I don’t look pregnant yet. Not to most people. I just look thick around my midsection. I just look fat by my standards.
 

The door swings open without a knock stunning both the technician and myself. I smile as I stare at the man in the doorway.
 

“Sorry,” is all he says as he walks into the small room and stands next to me. He smiles when he sees the smile on my face.
 

He’s here, and the anger at him being late melts away.
 

The technician smiles at Landon. “You made it just in time, Father.”
 

I watch as Landon’s muscles tighten at the mention of being a father. When he catches me staring, he gives me tight smile.
 

“Okay, let’s get started.” She places the ultrasound machine on my stomach and begins moving the transducer around.
 

I turn my attention from Landon to the screen that looks hazy as the woman moves the cold gel around on my stomach.
 

“There.” She points to the picture on the screen. A picture that looks very much like a baby.
 

“That’s your baby.”
 

I feel a rush of emotions I wasn’t expecting. I haven’t felt connected to this baby at all since I found out I was pregnant. And other than the morning sickness and bloating of my stomach, I haven’t even felt pregnant. Not until I see that face does it become real.
 

I feel a tear slide down my face at the beautiful sight. I’m having a baby. I’m never going to be alone again.
 

My hand is being squeezed, and I glance away from the screen just long enough to see that Landon is holding my hand tightly. His eyes just as glued to the screen as mine just were. He isn’t breathing or moving. He’s just watching.
 

It feels like we are a family for the first time. Or at least that we can be a family.
 

“Do you want to know the sex of your baby?”
 

“You can find out this early?” Landon asks.
 

The woman smiles. “Not always, but in this case, yes. I’m pretty confident of the sex although you can confirm a little later in the pregnancy.”
 

I look at Landon trying to read his eyes. His eyes say yes.
 

“Yes,” we both say to the woman.
 

The woman smiles at us. “It’s a girl.”

Landon squeezes my hand tighter.
 

“I’ll give you both a minute.” The technician stands and walks out of the room.
 

“It’s a girl,” I squeal as I sit up on the table.
 

Landon pulls me into an embrace, and I can smell his cologne on his neck. Tears fall down my cheek as Landon grips me tighter.
 

“We are having a girl,” he says his voice raspy like he has been crying.
 

I look up at him. He is. I reach for his neck to pull him into a kiss, but he anticipates my move and stops me. He pulls away, and I frown at the way he dismisses me.
 

“I thought ...”
 

“No.”
 

He wipes a tear from my face.

“We need to talk first.”
 

I look at him reluctantly.
 

“I want to be a good father. I will do whatever possible to take care of our daughter, but the rest ...” He holds out his hands to me. “The rest isn’t possible. I tried being a good boyfriend. To both you and Alex.” He pauses. “I failed both times. And as for a husband, I would make a horrible husband. All I know is I can try every day to be the best father to our daughter.”
 

He smiles when he says the word daughter. I want more. I want more than just a good father for my unborn child. It doesn’t have to be a husband. It just has to be him.

11. The number of foster parents I have had.
 

Walking from my car up to the house Ethan bought for us is hard. It might be the hardest thing I have ever done. My legs tremble slightly as I move, and sweat beads down my face. I should run. I should run away and never look back. That’s what I should do. That’s the only way I know I will end up alive. If I walk through those doors, there is a good chance I will never walk out again.
 

I don’t run, though. I’m done running. I have too many people to save to run. Even if I don’t save myself, I have to walk through that door for Daniel, and James, and Landon. I have to walk through that door for all the people Ethan has yet to hurt but will if I don’t stop him.
 

It doesn’t make the walk from the driveway to the front door any easier, though. When I make it to the front door, I hesitate. I try to think of any other way to save them. I can’t think of any, though. I have to play Ethan’s game to keep Landon out of jail. And I have to get close to Ethan to find any evidence he is hiding.
 

I ring the doorbell and wait. Five seconds go by before Ethan answers the door with a smile on his face.
 

“Decided to come home.”
 

I put a smile on my face. It’s a fake smile, but I try my best to make it seem real.
 

“Yes.” I walk closer to him until our bodies almost press together. I watch his breathing speed up just like I want. He’s still attracted to me. He still wants me despite trying to kill me. Something has stopped him from finishing the job; my suspicion is that he is too attracted to me to be able to kill me.
 

I reach my hand out and touch his arm. His eyes instantly change to a look of lust at just the touch. It makes my smile grow bigger. This is definitely his weakness. I just have to learn to use it to my advantage.
 

“I was wrong. I chose wrong. I thought I was in love with Landon. I thought he was a good man. He’s not. You showed me that.”

“I’m glad you’ve finally seen who Landon really is. He should be in jail.”
 

I nod. “He should be, but I don’t want to talk about him. I don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore.” I turn my eyes into lust-filled orbs as I take in his tight button up shirt and jeans. I run my tongue over my lips when his eyes travel back to my face.
 

“I’m more interested in who you are.” I force my body to move so my lips hover over his. “I’m more interested in falling back in love with my husband.”
 

I force myself to kiss him. It’s not a passionate, desperate kiss like the last one I experienced with Landon. I don’t want him suspicious that I suddenly have strong feelings for him, but he does need to know I want that possibility. I want him to think I want him. Instead of just wanting him dead.
 

The kiss lasts too long for my liking, and the whole time, I’m thinking about Landon. How with this kiss I feel like I’m erasing that kiss, but I’m not. I’ll take that kiss with me forever. Even though Landon betrayed me and lied to me, I still love him. I always will. That’s why I’m here kissing a monster worse than Landon is.
 

I let Ethan be the first to pull away, and when he does, he wears a smug look on his face.
 

“I’ve missed you.”
 

“I’ve missed you, too.”
 

He takes my hand. My hand is moist with sweat. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. “Let me show you around. You need to see the changes I’ve made to the house since you were last here.”
 

“I’d love to.” I look longingly at Ethan.
 

The tour is long and exhausting. It seems Ethan has changed something in every room in the house. The house is beautiful, and when I first saw it, it felt right. That was before when I thought I could have a future with Ethan. Now, I know there is no future at all.
 

Each room he took me into was just another room where I’m going to have to spend time searching for evidence. We stop in the master bedroom. The room that we will share together until one of us ends up dead.
 

Chills run through my body at the thought of sleeping with this man, but I have to. I have to get close to him.
 

I watch as he walks into the closet and pulls out a gorgeous black dress. It’s long and sleek and beautiful.
 

“I really wanted to take you to a nice dinner just the two of us on your first night back, but unfortunately, I already promised Mother I would take her out tonight.”
 

He walks to me and hands me the dress. “I would cancel with Mother except today isn’t a good day for her.”