All Access (Brothers of Rock #1) (rockstar contemporary romance) (14 page)

Johnnie looked over his shoulder, half smiling.  “There she is.  How was your shower?”

“The best I’ve ever had.”

“The water pressure in this cabin is wonderful, isn’t it?”  Johnnie winked.

“What are we doing today?”

“You’re not going to like my answer to that,” Johnnie said.  He turned and Jess saw papers in his left hand.  “I had to call for a ride out of here.  We have to go back to the city.”

“Why?”

“Business matters,” Johnnie said.  “I’ve been toying with a decision for a little while now and Peter called me about the charity show.  They want to do a photo shoot and he scheduled it for today thinking I would want to get all of this out of the way quickly so I could enjoy my time off before the tour kicks back into gear.”

“I hate managers,” Jess said.  She thought about her agent, who still hadn’t called her with some kind of news.  “Add agents to that too.”

“No, it’s fine.  I can’t get cooped up here too long,” Johnnie said.  “I’ll want to stay.  I’ll demand to stay.  And with you... Jess... I would live here and die.”

Jess smiled.  She opened her mouth to speak but Johnnie threw the papers down at the table. 

“What’s that?”

“Contract,” Johnnie said.  “The contract Peter wants me to sign.  To launch myself as a solo artist.”

“So you’ve decided?” Jess asked.

“I think so.”

“I support you,” Jess said.  “Whether it matters or not.  Just know I support you.  And the rest of the band will too.  It’s not like you’re leaving.... or stealing music... or...”

“I go if you go,” Johnnie said.

Jess froze.  She looked into Johnnie’s eyes.  They were like staring at two glass marbles.  He was serious, but Jess didn’t understand what he meant.

“Go where?” Jess asked.

“The contract,” Johnnie said and pointed.  “I’m adding you to it.”

“To the contract?  For what?”

Johnnie moved from the table and went to his recording area.  Jess watched as he picked up a small device and brought it back to her.  He handed it to her and told her to hit the play button.

The second she heard her own voice, singing.

“What the... what did you do?”

“Jess, your voice is beautiful.”

“You recorded me singing?  In the shower?”

“I woke to it,” Johnnie said.  He touched the play button and stared at Jess.  “This is what the song needs.”

“A female voice...”

“Your voice,” Johnnie insisted.

“I’m an author, not a singer.”

“And I wanted to be a poet until I found music and realized I could do both in my own way.”

“I can’t,” Jess said.  “I was... just messing around.”

“You can do anything you want,” Johnnie said.

“Like say no to this,” Jess replied.

“You go I go.  That’s my offer.”

“Offer?  For what?”

“Jess, we can do this together.  Split everything.  The name alone is worth...”

“Are you bribing me?”

“No.  No.  Not at all.  I’m just offering something.  Something new.  Different.  Wild...”

“Wild is what we did outside.  Wild is what we did in the shower.  This... this is you unable to make a decision on your own.  So you’re dragging me into it.”

The recording ended and so did the conversation.

Jess took a step back and handed the recorder back to Johnnie.  His face hadn’t changed a bit.  He simply pressed a couple buttons on the recorder and played it again.  Jess listened to her voice and shook her head.

She refused to believe it was good.

She refused to believe it was right.

“I won’t give up,” Johnnie said.  “That’s not what I do.”

“Then take the song to your band,” Jess said.

“It’s not my band.  I’ve told you that.”

“Just take the song to them.  Or find another woman to sing.  I’m not a singer.  I’m a writ...”

Jess’s cell phone started to ring.  She heard it in the bedroom and turned, literally running to take the phone call.

It was the call she’d been waiting for.  Her agent spoke fast and with a sense of ease in her voice.  The publisher had come through, wanting more of Jess.  Because the sales of her first book were solid enough, there was now going to be a push for the second book.  Starting with a signing in New York City in a week.  Not just one signing but an entire weekend of signings.  The publisher already had a book trailer, promotional efforts ready to be launched that very Monday.  Everything was going to happen fast. Not to mention her debut novel would be sent into another round of printing.

A dream come true.

The
dream come true.

Jess barely managed to get a word in other than a few sounds and a few thanks.  Her agent ended the call telling Jess to check her email for her plane ticket.  It would be there in the next couple days and then she needed to get ready.  Her agent also made the subtle hint that if the publisher could see a good chunk of another manuscript, that would be amazing.

The call ended and Jess stood with the cell phone to her ear.  Things always seemed to happen like this for her.  Fifteen things happen at once.  And now this time she had to balance her feelings for Johnnie.

She turned to face Johnnie and found herself literally facing Johnnie.  He stood in the doorframe to the bedroom, hands in his pockets.

“That was my call,” Jess said.

“From your agent?”

Jess nodded. 

“And...?”

“It’s everything I could hope for.  Publisher wants more from me.  They’re promoting my next book.  I have to go to New York for book signings...”

“That’s amazing,” Johnnie said.  “You deserve it all.”

“Look... about your song...”

“Leave it be,” Johnnie said.  “Just leave it be.”

Jess now saw the real Johnnie showing through his eyes.  The stone wall had been taken down.  Her heart ached for him, knowing it pained him to back down. 

But what could Jess do?

She wasn’t a singer, she was an author.  And a busy author at that. 

“Just do me a favor,” Johnnie said.  “I want you to take this...”  Johnnie pulled the folded contract from his pocket.  “I want you to just read it.  Think about it.  Keep it the hell away from me, okay?”

“Why?”

“It’s like poison right now.  My band is... everything.  They’re my brothers.  Each and every one of them.  But my writing, my music...”

“It’s another love,” Jess said. 

Johnnie nodded.  He swallowed and blinked.  Jess never saw such a set of honest eyes in her life.  She never saw a man go through emotions so fast either.  Reluctantly, she took the contract from Johnnie’s hand and squeezed it in hers.

“Thank you,” Johnnie whispered.  “And congrats.”

Jess nodded, feeling her eyes starting to glaze over.  She looked down and walked out of the bedroom, seeking the deck and some fresh air.

Her heart admitted what she already knew.

She was in love with Johnnie.

Johnnie from Chasing Cross.

The band that would go back on tour in a month.  The band that would travel and play shows. 

And Jess had to be in New York.  And Jess had to prepare another manuscript.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked out at the mountains.

Being with Johnnie was a dream, but the thing about dreams was that they end.  One way or another, they always come to an end.

**

The car stopped in front of Jess’s apartment building.  Jess looked at Johnnie and he kissed her.  It was a gentle kiss, laced with enough romance that Jess opened her mouth to exhale and felt the urge to cry.  It was as if Johnnie knew the waiting truths between them but wanted to ignore them.

Jess wanted to ignore them too, but she couldn’t.  She couldn’t stand the idea of delaying her feelings and the potential pain that would come from watching Johnnie leave. 

“I’ll get your bag,” Johnnie whispered and exited the car. 

Before sliding out of the car, Jess took the contract from her pocket.  She told Johnnie she would keep it, but it felt wrong.  She felt like she was leading him on. 

She saw Johnnie’s leather jacket sitting next to where he sat in the car.  It felt terrible to do, but it would be a sense of honesty, a sense of reality that needed to happen.  Jess slipped the contract into the inside pocket of the leather jacket.  She patted it and took a deep breath, fighting so hard not to cry.

She climbed from the car and hugged Johnnie.  His grip was strong and she thought about the cabin.

They should have just stayed there.

She should have told Johnnie to make Peter reschedule the photo shoot. 

“I’ll call you when I’m done,” Johnnie said.

“How long?” Jess asked, her heart already feeling the loneliness creeping in.

“It’ll be the rest of the afternoon,” Johnnie said.  “But we can get together tonight.  You can come to my hotel.  We’ll order expensive food. 
Some wine
...
”

Johnnie smiled and Jess couldn’t help but smile back at him.

She nodded and moved to her toes to kiss him.

When the kiss ended, Jess licked her lips.

She hoped it wouldn’t be the last time she’d ever taste him.

(21)

Johnnie grabbed his leather jacket and left the car.  He took big steps and ducked down when someone yelled his name as he slipped into the back of the hotel.  It was no surprise by now that Chasing Cross ousted themselves as still being in town.  That was okay, it would only help the charity show they were working on.  All the proceeds - tickets, autographs, food, drink, even the merchandise - would go to the cancer hospital in the city.  It was the least the band could do since every one of them had someone close to them pass away from cancer.

A security guard led the way upstairs, talking into a radio, coordinating Johnnie’s return to his hotel room.  At the landing of the second floor, Johnnie stopped and watched the operation. 

The security guard looked out the window of the door.  He opened the door, scanned the hall, and quietly talked to the other guards, to make sure the floor was clear.

Johnnie felt disgusted.

Is this what he had become?

He’d grown into this kind of figure, this kind of person.  He couldn’t even walk into a building without security detail.  He couldn’t take the elevator like a normal human.

Annoyed, Johnnie walked to the top of the landing and opened the door.  The security guard hurried behind him as he walked to the elevator and pressed the up button.

“Uh, Johnnie...”

“Leave it,” he barked at the security guard.

The guard stiffened and kept his eyes moving.

When the elevator opened, two women stood and within a second their faces turned to shock.  Johnnie stepped in and pressed the button for his floor.  He knew the women would look and he didn’t care. 

It took a few seconds but one of them finally spoke up.

“Are you...”

“Johnnie from Chasing Cross,” the other said.

“The one and only,” Johnnie said with a smile.

“You’re amazing,” the first woman said.  “Your band... your music...”

“Not my band,” Johnnie said.  “We’re a band. All of us.”

“Can you sign something?” the second woman asked.

“Sure.  What do you have?”

Johnnie saw the gleam in her eyes and half expected her to pull her top down.  The days of signing women’s bare breasts felt far behind him, not to mention the thought of looking or touching another woman instantly made him think of Jess.

Luckily, the women each had a ticket stub from the show the other night.  Johnnie signed the tickets and took a picture, which he knew would be plastered on all the social networks before he could step into his room. 

The elevator stopped and the women got off, not before the feistier one turned and whispered their room number to Johnnie.  Johnnie thanked them, winked, and watched them rush off in a rock n’ roll fantasy.  Maybe ten years ago it would have meant something, but not now.  All Johnnie could think about was getting this photo shoot over with and going back to Jess.

Once in his room, he called for Peter who said he was on the elevator right then.

Peter came into the room with his hands in his pockets, eyeing Johnnie.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Peter asked.

“Is something wrong with it?”  Johnnie asked.

“The charity is formal...”

“You want me to wear a suit?”

“Wouldn’t hurt the image.”

“The image?  I’m tired of hearing about
the image
.”

“Just offering advice,” Peter said.