All He Desires: The Complete Series (8 page)

"The words are red and yellow. Yellow is something you’d use if you need to change positions, use the bathroom or are feeling ill. Red is when I’ve taken things too far. Keep in mind that if you ever use red, whatever we were doing will be added to a list of hard limits. This means whatever play stops on red, we probably won’t approach it again for a while, if at all."

"And the hard limits?"

Jake placed a hand on the cross, inclining his head to the cuffs hanging in front of us. "They’re entirely up to you. You mentioned how Dennis bound you in the past. Does it bother you to the point of never wanting to try it with me, or just something you aren’t comfortable with now?"

"Neither. I’m just not comfortable with him."

He nodded. "What’s one thing you wouldn’t want to try, with me or anyone else?"

"I’m honestly not sure."

"And that’s okay too. A lot of new subs don’t know their limits because everything is so new. This is why safe words are so important. If at any time during play you feel yourself triggering from whatever we’re doing, you need to tell me. This way, I can stop the scene, check in with you and assess the problem. We will discuss our options, and if that scene should ever be done again."

"What about you?" I asked, looking from him to the cross and back again. "Do Doms have limits?"

"Of course. There’s very little I won’t do. However, if you’re expecting me to choke you, treat you like a wild animal or defecate on you, I’m probably not the Dom for you."

I shuddered. "People actually enjoy stuff like that?"

He shrugged. "Different strokes. And that’s another thing. There may come a time when we go to a public play party or another demo. Some of the things you’re going to see, you probably won’t like. This is fine, but keep it to yourself. The last thing we want in this lifestyle are couples pointing their noses up at whatever they don’t agree with. Me personally? If they enjoy it, I say more power to them. Well, that, and it being safe, sane and consensual."

"What about contracts?"

"Not yet. While you’re under probation, you’ll be trained. I’ll tell you what I like, what I expect and ask you what you’d like in return. If things continue beyond that point, then we’ll revisit the whole contract situation. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes."

"Do you agree to these terms?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes."

His eyes narrowed. "Yes?"

"Master."

I winced at the word as it rolled over my tongue.

"I saw that." Jake smiled. "It takes some getting used to, but soon it will be second nature. Don’t let it happen again."

I closed my eyes. Chanted the word in the back of my mind. "I won’t, Master."

"
Much
better." He leaned in to whisper against my ear. "Now, kneel."

I
'd never knelt in front of a Dom before. Dennis would've liked to have called himself one, but he was as far from being a Dom as they came. There were times when he experimented without having any idea as to what he was doing. Most of the time, our 'scenes' happened when he was drunk.

So when Jake ordered me to kneel in front of him, I didn't do it right away. Jake was a lover, but by kneeling, I was allowing him to become more than that. I wanted to obey. To be a good sub. But there was a small twinge of...something—I wasn't entirely sure what it was—but the feeling was there, growing even stronger the longer I waited.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, his eyes softening the slightest bit.

"Yes, Master."

"Is this making you uncomfortable?"

"I think...maybe a little. Master."

"It's my job as your Dom to intimidate you. Hell, I can even make you anxious. However, if you're scared, then I'm doing something wrong, and I need you to tell me if I am. Kira, am I scaring you?"

"No, Master."

He turned his back to me, but not before gesturing at the floor. "When I turn around, you're to be on your knees like a good little pet, understood?"

My throat was dry. "Yes, Master."

"Continue."

Giving his back a final glance, I lowered to my knees.

I wasn't sure if he wanted me to kneel, or to sit back on my legs. He turned to face me moments later and corrected me when I tried to do the latter. Jake walked behind me, pulled back on my shoulders to make sure my spine was straight before placing my hands behind my back.

I waited for him to say something. Anything.

Silence found me, and even though Jake kept a hand on my shoulder, I suddenly felt terribly alone. Plush carpeting cushioned the area beneath my knees, but I was pretty sure the longer he kept me here, the more uncomfortable I'd become.

Almost as if he could read my mind, Jake said, "You won't be like this for long. We're going to take things slow. I'll only ask you to do what I feel you're more than capable of doing."

I closed my eyes and drew in a handful of steady breaths. I tracked Jake with my mind as he stepped off to one side. In front of me. He lifted my chin so I was looking straight ahead.

He moved off to my side again. Behind me. The other side. Around and around he went, all the while breathing just as evenly as before. Sadly, the same couldn't be said for myself. Every time he circled, my chest got tighter. My heart beat faster.

"The position I have you in now," Jake began, stepping in front of me. To the side. Behind me. When he spoke again, his lips were right next to my ear. "This is the way I want you when I tell you to kneel." He started walking again. "I won't have my subs slouching, is that understood?"

"Yes, Master."

"Good girl." He approached me again. "Doing okay?"

"Yes, Master."

"How are your knees?"

I shifted my weight from one knee to the other. "A little stiff, Master, but I..."

"Go on."

"I don't want to stop, Master."

He caressed my cheek. "I wasn't planning to. Remember, it is my job to push your boundaries. We'll go slow at first, but as you become more comfortable, I'll be pushing you even more. Understand?"

"Yes, Master."

"Good."

The air around me cooled as he stepped away, but after that, he didn't move. I couldn't tell if he was in front of me or beside me. I strained to hear his breath. A foot shuffling against the floor. But like earlier, all I found was silent nothingness.
Open your eyes.
I couldn't. I feared if I did, I'd lose whatever hold I had on my submission. I wasn't ready to wake up yet. To go back to my normal life.

"Tell me your safe words," Jake ordered, his voice coming from somewhere in front of me.

"Yellow, if I'm uncomfortable. And..." I frowned. "Red, Master."

"Yellow to slow down, yes." I could almost imagine him standing with his arms over his chest. "What is red for?"

"To stop, Master."

"Good girl. You will use these if you need them, do I make myself clear?"

I swallowed. Hard. "Yes, Master."

He didn't speak for a long moment, but I could hear his footsteps as he walked away from me. I waited to hear him scaling the stairs, but either my hearing was going, or that wasn't the direction he'd gone. Something jingled in front of me. Off to my right.

My body tensed as icy panic swept through me.
Cuffs.
It was the only thing I could think of, at least that I'd noticed, that could make a noise like that.

I licked my lips. Wondered if now was a good time—the perfect time—to use a safe word.
He isn't Dennis.
Right now, that much didn't seem to matter.

"Yellow," I squeaked, surprised when Jake dropped whatever he was doing to join me.

He lifted my chin. "Open your eyes." I did, and he let out a sigh of...was that relief? "Talk to me. Are you uncomfortable? Do you need to change positions?"

I shook my head, testing the weight on my knees to make sure I was still good where I was. "No cuffs. Please, Master."

He smiled and kissed me on the forehead. "We'll see, but don't worry about that now." He turned away, then stopped. "Why not get on your hands and knees? You can even put your head down on your arms if you need a breather. I'm just grabbing a few things."

I did as he asked, closing my eyes before lowering onto my hands and knees. My hips complained, but for the moment, I ignored them. Bowing my head, I listened to the sounds of the dungeon as Jake rummaged through an assortment of items for whatever it was he'd been looking for.

"Shut your eyes," he said, approaching me once I had. He set a few items on the ground. "Hold out a hand."

I did as he asked, and he set something cold and metal in my palm. Sitting back on my legs, I used both hands to inspect the item, surprised when one end opened.

"Put your finger inside," Jake said, his voice almost playful.

I let the item close on an index finger and noted the odd pressure that was there. "What is it?" I handed it back to him.

"A nipple clamp."

I shivered, trying to imagine that very brief pressure on one of my breasts.

"Relax. The reason I told you to close your eyes is so you don't need to see everything all at once. Give me your hand again."

I half expected him to put gel in my palm if only to get a reaction out of me. Instead, he draped something over it, gently dragging it from one side of my hand to the other. I was vaguely aware of the fact this particular item had various ends. Soft. Light.
A flogger,
I realized as I listened to the hiss from the tails gliding across my skin.

"Do you know what this is?" Jake asked, dragging the tails of the flogger over one of my breasts.

"A..." I whimpered when the tails teased one of my nipples before skating across my ribs. "A flogger, Master."

"Very good. Ticklish?" He ran it over my ribs again.

"Yes, Master."

"I can tell." He leaned in to whisper against my ear. "You've got goose bumps all over."

He pinched a nipple, twisting it until it
almost
hurt. I moaned and screwed my eyes tight even though they were already shut. He did the same thing to the other nipple, pressing his lips to mine when I moaned.

"I need you to breathe for me," Jake murmured, breaking our kiss. "Can you do that for me?"

Heat brushed my cheeks. "Yes, Master."

I listened to him breathing. Inhaling when he did. Exhaling when he told me to. I'd almost gotten my heart rate back to normal when Jake pinched my nipple again. My breath caught just as soon as something cool bit down against the delicate tissue. Hard. Harder.

I winced around the pain, reminding myself to breathe before Jake had a chance to do the same. The pain was still there. Hard to ignore, but not unbearable.
You can handle this.
I'd broken fingers that hurt more than this, and I'd barely made a sound.
That's because you had some adrenaline to help you out.
Maybe it just hadn't caught up with what Jake was doing yet.

"Kira, breathe."

I exhaled, completely unaware of how long I'd been holding my breath. I gulped when Jake attached a clamp to my other nipple. A chill ran over my spine from the chain that hung between the clamps. The tether tugged at them whenever I moved.

"They won't be on long," Jake promised. "Are you still okay on your knees?"

I grimaced as much from the ache in my knees as the bite on my breasts. "No, Master."

He took my hands in his and helped me to my feet, wrapping an arm around my waist when my knees tried to give out. "Open your eyes for me."

I did, but immediately closed them when the room started to spin. "Dizzy."

"It'll pass. You got up too soon." He held on to me until I stopped wobbling. "I know you said no cuffs, but if I just use the ones on the cross for your wrists, would you be okay with that? Or can you stand on your own?"

Unable to trust my knees to keep from buckling, I stared down the cross that stood not ten feet away from us. "I can try, Master."

"Remember your safe words."

I nodded, lowering my gaze so I could watch where I was walking. It was hard to say how long we'd been down in his dungeon. Time seemed to stop down here. Not even the sound of the wind outside could reach us where we were. It could've been later in the evening, and I wouldn't have known.

Positioning me in front of the cross, Jake held up one of my arms before placing a cuff around my wrist. "How does it feel? Too tight?"

I twisted my wrist inside the restraint. "No, Master." It was actually kind of comfortable.

"Try and get out of it for me."

I tugged against the cuff, closing my hand in such a way that it could slip through if the cuff hadn't been closed the way it was.

"Good. Good." Jake took my other arm and did the same thing to that wrist, closing the snaps before letting me go completely. "Still okay?"

"Yes, Master."

"These don't make you uncomfortable?"

Looking at the cuffs now, they were nothing like the ones Dennis had used on me.
No sense in drawing parallels to something that doesn't exist anymore.
"No, Master."

"Glad to hear it. I'll leave your ankles free for now, this is just to help you stand in case your knees want to buckle again." He stepped behind me. Straightened my back. "Tell me your safe words again."

"Yellow to slow down. Red to stop."

At least that was something I could get right. It seemed the more time we spent down in his dungeon, the more comfortable I became with the scene we were in. Saying Master didn't feel as foreign when it slipped over my tongue, and each time he asked me to repeat my safe words, I realized I could stop the scene anytime I wanted.

Thing is, I didn't want to stop. I wanted to keep going. For him to stop asking questions. I was losing myself. Slowly changing from Kira the escort to Kira the sub, and it couldn't happen soon enough.

"You can relax your arms now," Jake said. "I'm going to start slow. Tell me if you need me to stop."

I nodded my understanding and closed my eyes, ignoring the bite from the clamps for the moment. It was strange, but the longer he kept them on, the less they hurt. That all changed, however, when something snapped behind me.