All I Ever Need Is You (12 page)

When Kerry woke the next morning, she couldn’t believe last night could possibly have been real.

Because how could any two people need each other that badly? So much that they’d gone from his bed to his shower. And then the rug in front of the fireplace in his bedroom. And then again to his bed.

They hadn’t stopped for food. Hadn’t needed to drink anything, either, not when they’d been utterly drunk on each other. Again and again, he’d sent her reeling with pleasure—and she’d done the same with him. Only pure exhaustion had been able to douse their fire.

Now, Adam Sullivan lay sound asleep beside her in his huge bed, which had already been unmade when he’d first devoured her on it and was now little more than a tangle of sheets and limbs. The first rays of the sun were just beginning to illuminate the room, but mostly him, as if it were specifically seeking him out so that it could shine over him.

For the first time since she’d met him, Kerry was able to stare. To admire the strong lines of his cheekbones and jaw, the mouth that she found herself daydreaming about during meetings, his long dark lashes. She’d never imagined waking up in bed with a man like him, who could have walked straight out of a magazine or off the movie screen. More than that, she’d never dreamed that a man like him would want her the way he wanted her.

The passion between them was...

Honestly, she didn’t know how to begin processing it. And it was tempting, so very tempting, to not overthink what was happening between them. Just to keep letting it happen. Over and over and over and over again until every cell in her body was celebrating being alive and in Adam’s arms.

But she knew better.

She’d known all along that she needed to keep her guard up around him. Stupidly, she’d thought it would be easy. Easier, anyway, to keep one foot on the brake at all times and her eyes firmly on pleasure and nothing else.

Yes, last night had been pure pleasure, start to finish. There was no question at all about that. But it had been more than just pleasure. And she thought she knew why: Their other nights together had been planned meet-ups at hotels, but last night had not only been totally spontaneous, it had also been born of more than lust, more than desire.

Joy—pure, unfettered joy—had propelled her into Adam’s arms. All because he’d rediscovered her dream house and had promised to bring it back to its former glory with her.

It was that joy that scared her. Because while the sex was great, it was the happiness she felt with Adam that she knew she’d never be able to replace when their arrangement came to its inevitable end.

She was a fun change for him right now, utterly unlike the other women he’d been with—just as he was a total change for her. That was why it was so exciting. Such a rush that they’d both thrown caution to the wind for a night and ended up in his big, warm bedroom instead of staying in neutral hotel territory.

Adam’s imprint wasn’t only on the walls and ceilings and floors of the home he’d restored, it was also on every piece of furniture and book and framed painting. She couldn’t take a breath without breathing him in, too.

Where pleasure had swamped her all night long, morning now brought panic rushing in to replace it. She needed to get out of his bed, and fast—before she got to the point where she never wanted to get out of it at all.

Kerry had shifted less than an inch away from Adam when his arm came around her waist, and he tugged her so that she was lying across his chest. Chest to chest, she could feel his heart beating against hers. But it wasn’t his nakedness, or hers, that made hers beat faster.

It was the smile on his lips, and in his eyes, that stole her breath. And sent an even deeper terror racing through her. Because she liked his smile—
loved
his smile—so much that she realized she wanted it to be the first thing she saw when she woke up every morning for the rest of her life.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.”

She put everything she had into hiding her panic from him, but a frown had already begun to steal away his smile. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She made herself smile, hoping it reached her eyes the way his had. “I just need to get going to make it to my office on time.”

He continued to frown, but instead of pushing her, he simply said, “I’ll make you breakfast first.”

The words
I’ll make you breakfast
shouldn’t have her heart twisting up in her chest. She was being ridiculous. Melodramatic. Clearly, the endless hours of mind-blowing sex actually
had
blown out a whole host of her brain cells, and now she was functioning on less than a full set.

She’d let the house—and Adam’s amazing kisses—sweep her away yesterday. But in the clear light of a new day, his easy offer to make her breakfast told her without a shadow of a doubt that she hadn’t been nearly careful enough about not blurring the lines.

Not to mention the fact that it had felt
way
too much like they were making love last night when it should have been nothing more than naughty, wicked sex.

The last thing she wanted to do was move off his deliciously hard—and aroused—body. But she couldn’t stay here and keep having sex with him. Not when every kiss, every touch, would only drag her deeper into the danger zone.

She could feel him fighting with himself about letting go of her, but finally her feet were on the floor again, and she was holding a blanket in front of her, even though there was nothing he hadn’t seen by now.

Kerry meant to say,
Thanks for offering to make breakfast, but I really do need to go,
only somehow the words that actually came out were, “We can’t do this again.”

“What the hell?” He was out of bed and standing in front of her so fast she nearly stumbled, and he had to reach out to steady her. “You’re calling our arrangement quits?”

“No.” She couldn’t do that. Wasn’t strong enough to actually end what had become the most magical, wonderful thing that had ever happened to her. “Just this. Being here. At your house. Or at mine.”

He ran a hand over his face, through his hair. “I didn’t get enough sleep to understand what you’re talking about.”

“Hotels. We agreed to meet in hotels. Neutral ground without all of our things, without personal stuff around.”

“Fine.” He bit the word out, hard and fast. “We’ll make sure we stay in hotels from now on.”

“Good.”

“Great,” he said, even though he didn’t look like he thought it was great at all.

God, having this conversation shouldn’t make her chest clench. And she shouldn’t dread getting out the rest of it. But they couldn’t move forward until they got one other big thing cleared up.

“Yesterday, at the house, I didn’t exactly give you a chance to say no to helping me with it.”

“There was no gun to my head. I want to restore it. You want to live in it. So what’s the problem?”

She’d seen Adam flirt. She’d seen him tease. She’d seen him care. She’d even seen him angry at her sister. But she’d never seen him—or felt him—be angry at
her
before. And because it stung, she stung back.

“The
problem
is that you and I will have to work together on the house.”

“You’ve changed your mind about working with me?”

“No. You’re the best. Of course I want to work with you.” She was as frustrated as he was, couldn’t he see that? She sighed, knowing she was doing this, saying things all wrong. “But if working on the house together ends up extending past all of this”—she gestured to the bed where they’d had such wild, fabulous sex—“it might get messy.”

“You like having sex with me, right?”

She nodded. “Of course I do. You
know
I do.”

“Good, because I like having sex with you. And I can’t see that changing anytime soon.”

“But what if you—” She stopped herself, hoping he hadn’t noticed her slip. “But what if some reason pops up where we both decide we’re done having sex, and then we have to keep seeing each other because of the house?”

“You’re worrying about nothing, Kerry. We’re both adults. It’s not going to get messy.”

“So you’re saying that you think we can keep things totally compartmentalized, and that the sex we’re currently meeting up for in hotels will in no way impact the work we’ll do together on the house?”

His dark eyes held hers for a long moment before he finally said, through what sounded like gritted teeth, “Sure.”

“Great,” she forced herself to say past the lump in her throat. “I’m glad we’ve talked through any potential issues.” Through sheer force of will, she finally managed to move away. “I should get my dress from the car so that I can head out.”

“I’ll get it.” His words were more clipped than usual. “Go take a shower. Your clothes will be here when you’re done.”

He had on a pair of jeans and was walking out the door before she could figure out how to say she’d had a great time with him the night before and was sorry that she’d made such a mess of the morning. Which, she figured as she headed into the bathroom, was probably all for the best, given that she couldn’t get anything right this morning anyway.

* * *

Adam needed to get a grip.

But, damn it, the conversation he and Kerry had just had in his bedroom had thoroughly pissed him off.

He yanked open the door to his garage, hard enough that it nearly came off its hinges, then did the same to his car door.

Why did Kerry always have to look for problems?

He grabbed her dress, her shoes and bag, but left her bra and panties because those were unsalvageable.

Why couldn’t she just go with the flow?

He slammed his car door shut.

Why couldn’t she just let her hair down and have fun for once in her life?

He slammed the door to the garage shut, too.

Why did she keep assuming he was going to be a jerk about everything?

He headed back through the entryway and kitchen, still fuming as he headed up the stairs.

Couldn’t she see that she was his friend and he didn’t screw over his friends?

Adam stopped halfway up the stairs, cursing again as he finally realized that, while she might have played things wrong this morning, he sure as hell hadn’t done much better by snapping at her as soon as she brought up her worries.

Kerry had been clear from the start about meeting at hotels and keeping sex separate from everything else. First it was his family and the wedding that she hadn’t wanted to be affected by their hooking up. Now, they’d added in a house.

She was right. Things could get complicated if they let them.

So they wouldn’t let them.

He put her bag on the seat of the leather chair by the fireplace, laid out her dress along the back, and put her shoes down beside it, then headed into the kitchen to make some coffee and wait for her. When she came out fifteen minutes later, looking and smelling fresh and beautiful, he didn’t waste any time in handing her a cup of coffee—or getting straight to the point.

“I’m sorry.”

She had the cup halfway to her mouth when she froze. “You’re sorry?”

“Very.” His parents had taught him loads of important things over the years, but one of the most important was knowing how to apologize sincerely, and not to feel like less of a man for it. “I like you, Kerry. I like you a lot.”

She still seemed unsure about where he was going, but she said, “I like you, too.”

“I know we started off all of this”—he gestured up to his bedroom the way she had earlier—“as strangers, but we’re friends now. Aren’t we?”

She nodded. “Yes.” She seemed almost surprised to realize that it was true. “We’re friends.”

“I don’t hurt my friends.” He took the cup and put it on the kitchen counter so that he could take her hands in his. “However long you and I decide to keep having sex, once it’s over, I’m not going to hurt you, and I can’t see you wanting to hurt me, either.”

“I don’t want that. I would never want to hurt you, Adam.”

He had to smile at the way she said it so sweetly, so earnestly. “Good.”

Finally, he did what he’d been wanting to do since the moment he’d awakened and seen her staring at him—he kissed her. Long and deep and sweet, so that she couldn’t help but press close and wrap herself around him in that way he absolutely loved.

“I’ve heard the suites at the Fairmont Olympic are top-notch. How does next week look for you?”

For a moment she seemed surprised by the question, but she was quickly back to her usual practical self as she reached for her phone in her bag to check her calendar.

“It’s pretty packed. What about you?”

After checking his own calendar, he said, “Mine is jammed, too. Everything but Thursday night.”

She looked at her schedule again. “You know,” she said slowly, “I could probably shift my Thursday night meeting without much trouble. Do you want me to try to do that?”

“Does it rain in Seattle?”

She laughed, and the sweet sound of it helped relax the muscles in his chest that had been clenched from the moment she’d jumped out of his bed.