All My Life (14 page)

Just as I’m crossing the street, I notice a dark tinted Hummer parked right next to my house. The hair on my nape prickles and I immediately turn around. I walk back quickly to the shop intending to call my mother or Neil for support when someone blocks my way. I look up and there he is. The cocky grin intact on that stupid face. I have so much hate surging inside me that I’m sure if I had a gun I would have used it on him. And not just once.

“Curiouser and curiouser. First you snag that football star…then you go to the police?” An ugly scowl replaces his mocking smile. “What the fuck, bitch? What do you think is going to happen? People sympathizing with a girl who willingly slept with a guy?” My breath hitches as he takes a step forward and his face contorts with rage. “You watch what I do to you now! You just watch!” He turns around to go and that’s when I decide to speak up.

“What happened Eddie?” The quietness in my voice makes him pause mid-step. But he doesn’t turn around. And even though I know I shouldn’t be provoking him like this, I can’t stop myself. There comes a point in your life when you just have to hit back. Because if you don’t, you know you’ll lose an essential part of yourself.

“Tell me. Did your mother overindulge you? Did your father not pay attention to you when you were a little boy? Did he shove your mother around? Hit you? Tell me because I need to understand. I need to know what made you this way. Tell me, Eddie. Tell me what happened.”

I see him squaring his shoulders just before he turns. His face is deceivingly calm but the vein throbbing in his temple says it all. I brace myself for what’s to come but just as he lifts his fist, a staccato siren blast shakes us both out of our stand-off. I follow Eddie’s gaze to see a police car doing its rounds on our street. I snap my eyes back and find him looking at me with a hatred so intense it’s almost tangible.

“Monday,” he threatens and then walks off. I watch him cross the road, walk down to his SUV and then drive off with his tires peeling the tar.

I drag in a shuddering breath and then make myself walk back home. Mom’s not in but I’m used to her unpredictable routine. Maybe she had to rush back to office after her meeting with Dad? I squeeze my eyes shut at that unwelcome memory. Walking straight into my room, I collapse on the bed. My body feels like it has gone through a wringer and I don’t even realize when my eyes close.

I don’t have a single nightmare that night. Far from it. Strangely, all my dreams that night revolve around my impending date with Neil. My first official date with him. I dream about the dress I’m going to wear, the places we’ll go, the ways in which he’ll touch me, the things I’ll say in his ear. I’m beginning to like this falling in love thing.

The next day passes uneventfully and all too soon, it’s evening and I’m rushing through my room trying to get ready because Neil is waiting right outside on his bike. And going by the three texts I’ve received in the last five minutes, he’s getting really impatient.

Well, I can’t help it! Mom just won’t hang up! She’s on location somewhere in the city and is insisting on me wearing that hideous monstrosity again!

“Mom! Please!”

“Baby, you need to wear the brown coat. It’s freezing outside. I should know! My butt’s frozen solid out here!”

“Mom! Trust me, I’m all about self-preservation. I’ll put on a jacket, okay?”

“Kari! Any minute now and my voice will freeze into tiny icicles before it reaches you. It’s that cold! WEAR THE COAT!”

“Jeez…okay! Fine! Can I hang up now?”

“Yes.”

“B-y-e Mom.”

“Bye baby….and Kari?”

“Yes, Mom?”

Her voice goes softer. “Take care, baby.”

“I will, Mom. Don’t worry.”

Reluctantly, I put on the hideous brown coat and give one last look in the mirror. Soft lips, moisturized cheeks and brooding eyes. Hidden under the coat, I have on my skinny jeans and an off-the shoulder blouse. Perfect for a first date.

I don’t know where Neil’s taking me but I know I’m not the least bit nervous. Anywhere is a good place to be when he’s with me. Without so much as a second thought, I head out, lock the door and hop on his purring bike.

“Ready?” Neil twists around and his eyes assess me from behind his visor. I give him a confident thumbs up and don my helmet. And then we’re off.

Neil cuts through the motley traffic on choked roads, skilfully dodges all the rush-hour snarls and as we glide onto the highway, he finally hits the pedal. The bike roars to its full potential and then…I forget everything because I am completely overwhelmed by the feeling that comes over me.

This feeling of unbelievable wonder as the wind slips under my skin, waking up each and every pore in my body, turning me into a rebellious cloud, one that’s so fed up of floating in the blue sky that it shoots up into the universe. Finally breaking free of the stratosphere and marching straight into the oblivion.

Meditation on wheels. That’s what I am busy doing all through the one hour ride. Truth be told, I wouldn’t have minded if we’d just driven around for the entire night. But we
do
stop and as I get off the bike I realize we’re standing in a park outlined by a high brick wall surrounding its entire perimeter. Then I notice a giant white screen attached to one end of the wall and at a little distance from the screen…a downy blanket is spread out on the ground with a giant gas heater looming right over it. Then I get it.

A drive-in theater! I swivel around and notice the name painted on the giant steel gate through which we’d come in.
First Things.
What a beautiful name for a drive-in!

“Like it?”

I turn towards his voice. Neil’s standing near the blanket with his arms folded across his chest. A beautiful smile playing on his lips. I sprint across and fling my arms around his neck. “Like it?! I love it!! How did you know?!”

“Know what?”

“That I’ve always wanted to go to a drive-in?! I didn’t even know there was one so close by!”

“Well, it’s not exactly close by. It took us an hour…on my motorcycle.”

I look around us and as I do, I realize something. There’s absolutely no one else around! And I mean no one. No ticket collector, no guard, just an empty vacant walled-in park, a huge screen, blanket, heater and…us.

I pull away and look at him warily. “Where’s everyone?”

“Everyone?”

“The ticket collector…guard…people?!”

“People? Why would we need other people barging in on our date night? And the ticket collector and the guard? Me and…me. And you can also add owner to that list of credentials.”

“
Owner
?!”

“Yup. I bought it two days back.”

“You bought it two days back?!”

“Yes.”

“
Yes
?!”

“Why do you keep repeating whatever I say?”

“Because you keep saying crazy things!”

He shakes his head, smiling softly. “Babe.”

I give him my pointer. “Don’t
babe
me! What possessed you to buy this…this huge land?! ”

“Actually, I’m planning on using this site for my studio.”

“Really?! Wow. This must’ve cost a truckload of money!”

“Yeah. Especially since I had them put up that huge-ass security gate at the entrance. But the thing with money? It feels good spending it…on the right things…the right people.”

I scrunch my face and narrow my eyes at him. “Me being ‘the right people’?”

He reaches out and holds my hand, a wicked smile playing on his lips. “You being the best goddamn people!” A sharp tug on my hand and he pulls me in. Our faces come so close I can feel his breath warming my cheek. Sighing contentedly, I rest my face on his shoulders. The sweetness of his gesture has undone me and as inconspicuously as I can, I try to brush away the tears blurring my eyes.

“No tears, Angel,” he murmurs softly.

But of course. Nothing escapes him. I straighten my head and look up at him, feeling all pouty. His eyes gaze into mine then move to my lips and I watch as the passion in them flares into a raging desire. We meet half-way. His hot lips crushing mine with a need so stark it sends a sharp electric wave through my entire body. There’s no sweet and soft in this kiss. It’s a fierce demand that impels you to rise and meet it.

As I cling and wrap myself around him, I realize something in my mind. He calls me an Angel. But it’s
he
who has been my savior. When my world felt damned he brought me back, gave me hope, made me burn, made me feel so beautifully, insanely…
alive
.

God
! But I love him! Desperate to feel his skin on my hands I pull out his shirt and dive under, grazing the hot skin of his chest, his neck, his thick hair. All the while, I’m intensely aware of his hands as they brush the skin above my jeans, rub the curve of my waist, squeeze the flare of my hips. My whole body is bursting into flames and all I can think of is…more. I want
more
.
So much more
.

My eager fingers reach for the zipper on his jacket, then the buttons on his shirt and all the while our lips keep busy. Kissing, nipping, making love, all on their own. Still it’s not enough. Not even close.

A breath of happy relief escapes me as he removes my coat, reaches for my top buttons and flicks my shirt off in one swift move. Then his lips move down on my neck, to the swell of my breast, while his hand moves up to cup it from below. And then all my sense of control is lost as the most incredible sensations rock my body. The throb of need flashing through my body is so intense it’s almost painful. Any second now and I’ll lose my fucking mind. But he doesn’t rush it. He takes his time. I feel him slipping off the straps from my shoulders and then taking off the cups molded to my breasts. Feeling my skin pucker, I open my eyes and find him staring at my breasts. I wouldn’t have believed the reverence in his eyes, if I hadn’t seen it reflected so clearly.

With a low grunt, he bends his head and pulls in a nipple in his hot mouth.
Oh dear lord. 
“Oh!” My whole body goes limp with relief. While he was hard and insistent before, he is soft and indulgent now. Then with every lick, every nibble he slowly pushes my body into a taut urgent frenzy. I arch my back and lean into his care, my mind too overwhelmed with all the unfamiliar sensations rocking through my body, to worry about stupid things like modesty.

Desperate for more, I tug on his jacket collar, trying to pull him down with me towards the ground. Neil relents and we end up in a heap on the blanket. But he doesn’t stop. The pull of his hot mouth on my nipples is relentless and driving me out of my mind. Writhing and making loud unpronounceable noises, it almost feels like I’m having an out-of-body experience. Then all of a sudden his mouth leaves me and I feel a gentle waft of cool air chafe at my sensitive nipples. Feeling bereft I open my eyes and bring my head up to watch.

The moonlight has robbed his hair of its auburn color making it seem so much darker, so much more irresistible. He’s admiring my breasts again and the hunger in his eyes sends a sharp stab of desire through me. I watch as he brings his head closer and rubs his chin, the scruff grazing sharply against the tender underside of my breast. “Uh!” His eyes move up and when he sees me watching him, the smolder in them deepens. But he doesn’t act on it. He keeps looking straight into my eyes just as I gaze in his. And we stay like that…looking at each other, sharing this…
moment
. This beautiful indescribable moment. Because sometimes it just takes a look. One look to know you’re in for a lifetime. For a million lifetimes. One look and you know you want to experience every single joy, every sorrow, each and every emotion in your life with that one person in front of you. Soul mates.

Still keeping his eyes locked on mine, Neil moves up till his lips hover just over mine. His expression is so intense, so serious that my breath falters. Then he leans in agonizingly slowly, pausing right above me, letting our breaths mingle, allowing our eyes to do all the talking. I’m excruciatingly aware of each and every place where his body is touching mine and just when I think I’m going to pass out with all the painful anticipation, he cups my face and lowers his lips on top of mine. It begins like a gentle caress but soon turns into an insistent pressure as he wills me to open up. I can do nothing but comply and his tongue delves right in. Then he does such succulent and delicious things that just a few seconds into it and I feel a shuddering wave surging through my limbs.
Oh God. I can’t. Not so soon.
Not with just a kiss! But as much as I want to deny it my body divulges the signs of what’s about to come. Maybe Neil feels it too because his hand trails down from my breast, to my waist and between our bodies to cup me right
there
.

A whimper escapes me as he presses his palm over my jeans, making the ridge rub against me in a tantalizing torture. As he sets up a tormenting rhythm with his tongue and his palm, my hands fist helplessly through his thick hair. The shuddering waves pull me in and my hands go limp and fall on the blanket, clenching it into unrecognizable shapes, as my body soars straight to the heavens and slowly glides back.

Neil doesn’t stop. He keeps kissing me along my collar bone, my neck, my lips, loving me as my tremors slowly pass away. Then he lays his head on my chest and we just lie there for some time, letting the peace of the moment seep into us. I run my fingers through his thick hair, stare up at the stars and send my gratitude to the heavens above. I had always read, heard about sex and wondered. Would it be this awesome thing to experience like everyone made it out to be? Then all my hopes and dreams were crushed. I used to see couples walking by and would snigger at their short-lived fantasies. But now? Now I know. Everything they said is so true. I can’t let a prick stop me from falling in love. And maybe I’ll forget this feeling someday. Maybe it’ll just be reduced to a memory made up of a flickering gas heater, the salty dew of his skin and the love in his dark, inky eyes. This feeling of pure unadulterated joy. Of reaching a high so potent that your spirit feels like it’s soaring across the universe…and falling from that glorious peak only to find yourself enveloped in someone’s warm caring hands. When you feel like you’ve just died or been born, right at the same time.