All's Well That Ends Well (4 page)

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

BERTRAM
, Count of Rossillion

COUNTESS
of Rossillion, his mother

HELEN
(occasionally known as Helena), an orphan in the protection of the countess

REYNALDO
, steward to the countess

LAVATCH
, clown in the countess' household

PAROLLES
, a boastful follower of Bertram

KING
of France

LAFEW
, an old French lord

GENTLEMEN
of the French court including an Astringer

FIRST LORD
Dumaine

SECOND LORD
Dumaine

FIRST SOLDIER
, who plays role of interpreter

DUKE
of Florence

WIDOW
, Capilet of Florence

DIANA
, her daughter

MARIANA
, her friend

Lords, Attendants including a Page, Soldiers, people of Florence

COUNTESS
    In
delivering
¹
my son from me, I bury a second

husband.

BERTRAM
    And I in going, madam, weep o'er my father's death

anew; but I must
attend
⁴
his majesty's command, to whom I

am now
in ward
, evermore in
subjection.
⁵

LAFEW
    You shall find
of
the king a
husband
⁶
, madam, you,

sir, a father. He that so
generally
⁷
is at all times good must of

necessity
hold
his
virtue
to you,
whose
worthiness would
stir
⁸

it up where it wanted rather than lack it
where there is such
⁹

abundance.

COUNTESS
    What hope is there of his majesty's
amendment?
¹¹

LAFEW
    He hath abandoned his physicians, madam, under

whose
practices
he hath
persecuted time
¹³
with hope, and

finds no other advantage in the process but only the losing of

hope by time.

COUNTESS
    This young gentlewoman had a father — O, that

‘had'! How sad a
passage
¹⁷
'tis! — whose skill was almost as

great as his
honesty
¹⁸
, had it stretched so far, would have made

nature immortal, and death should have play for lack of

work.
Would
²⁰
for the king's sake he were living! I think it

would be the death of the king's disease.

LAFEW
    How called you the man you speak of, madam?

COUNTESS
    He was famous, sir, in his profession, and it was his

great right to be so: Gerard de
Narbon.
²⁴

LAFEW
    He was excellent indeed, madam. The king very

lately spoke of him admiringly and mourningly: he was

skilful enough to have lived
still
²⁷
, if knowledge could be set up

against mortality.

BERTRAM
    What is it, my good lord, the king languishes of?

LAFEW
    A
fistula
³⁰
, my lord.

BERTRAM
    I heard not of it before.

LAFEW
    I would it were not
notorious.
³²
Was this

gentlewoman the daughter of Gerard de Narbon?

COUNTESS
    His sole child, my lord, and bequeathed to my

overlooking.
I have those
hopes of her good
³⁵
that her

education
promises her
dispositions
³⁶
she inherits, which

makes fair gifts fairer. For where an
unclean
³⁷
mind carries

virtuous qualities
, there commendations
go with pity
³⁸
, they

are virtues and traitors too. In her they are the better for

their
simpleness
; she
derives
⁴⁰
her honesty and achieves her

goodness.

LAFEW
    Your commendations, madam, get from her tears.

COUNTESS
    'Tis the best brine a maiden can
season
⁴³
her praise

in. The remembrance of her father never approaches her

heart but the tyranny of her sorrows takes all
livelihood
⁴⁵

from her cheek. No more of this, Helena.
Go to
⁴⁶
, no more, lest

it be rather thought you
affect
a sorrow
than to have.
⁴⁷

HELEN
    I do affect a sorrow indeed, but I have it too.

LAFEW
    Moderate lamentation is the right
of
⁴⁹
the dead,

excessive grief the enemy to the living.

COUNTESS
    
If the living be enemy to the grief, the excess makes
⁵¹

it soon mortal.

BERTRAM
    Madam, I desire your
holy
⁵³
wishes.

LAFEW
    
How understand we that?
⁵⁴

COUNTESS
    Be thou blest, Bertram, and succeed thy father

In
manners
as in
shape.
Thy
blood
⁵⁶
and virtue

Contend for
empire
⁵⁷
in thee, and thy goodness

Share with thy
birthright.
⁵⁸
Love all, trust a few,

Do wrong to none. Be
able
⁵⁹
for thine enemy

Rather in
power
than use, and
keep thy friend
⁶⁰

Under thy own life's key. Be
checked
⁶¹
for silence,

But never
taxed
for speech.
What
heaven
more will
⁶²
,

That thee may furnish and my prayers
pluck
⁶³
down,

Fall on thy head! Farewell.— My lord,

'Tis an
unseasoned
⁶⁵
courtier. Good my lord,

Advise him.

LAFEW
    He cannot
want
the
best
⁶⁷

That shall attend
his love.
⁶⁸

COUNTESS
    Heaven bless him.— Farewell, Bertram.

BERTRAM
    The best wishes that can be
forged
⁷⁰
in your

thoughts be servants to you! Be
comfortable
⁷¹
to my mother,

your mistress, and
make much of
⁷²
her.

LAFEW
    Farewell, pretty lady. You must
hold
the
credit
⁷³
of

your father.

HELEN
    O, were that all! I think not on my father,

And
these great tears grace his remembrance more
⁷⁶

Than those I shed for him. What was he like?

I have forgot him. My imagination

Carries no
favour
⁷⁹
in't but Bertram's.

I am
undone.
⁸⁰
There is no living, none,

If Bertram be away.
'Twere all one
⁸¹

That I should love a bright particular star

And think to wed it, he is so above me.

In his bright radiance and
collateral
⁸⁴
light

Must I be comforted, not in his
sphere
⁸⁵
;

Th'ambition in my love thus plagues itself:

The
hind
⁸⁷
that would be mated by the lion

Must die for love. 'Twas
pretty
⁸⁸
, though a plague,

To see him every hour, to sit and draw

His archèd brows, his
hawking
⁹⁰
eye, his curls

In our heart's
table
— heart too
capable
⁹¹

Of every line and
trick
of his sweet
favour
⁹²
:

But now he's gone, and my idolatrous
fancy
⁹³

Must sanctify his
relics.
⁹⁴
Who comes here?

One that goes with him: I love him for
his
⁹⁵
sake,

And yet I know him a notorious liar,

Think him a
great way
fool,
solely
⁹⁷
a coward.

Yet these
fixed
evils sit so
fit
⁹⁸
in him

That they
take place
when virtue's
steely
⁹⁹
bones

Looks bleak i'th'cold wind.
Withal
,
full oft
¹⁰⁰
we see

Cold wisdom
waiting on
superfluous
¹⁰¹
folly.

PAROLLES
    
Save
you, fair
queen!
¹⁰²

HELEN
    And you, monarch!

PAROLLES
    No.

HELEN
    And no.

PAROLLES
    Are you meditating on virginity?

HELEN
    Ay. You have some
stain
¹⁰⁷
of soldier in you. Let me ask

you a question. Man is enemy to virginity: how may we

barricado
¹⁰⁹
it against him?

PAROLLES
    
Keep
¹¹⁰
him out.

HELEN
    But he assails, and our virginity, though valiant, in

the defence yet is weak.
Unfold
¹¹²
to us some warlike resistance.

PAROLLES
    There is none. Man
setting down before you
¹¹³
will

undermine
you and
blow you up.
¹¹⁴

HELEN
    
Bless
¹¹⁵
our poor virginity from underminers and

blowers up! Is there no military
policy
¹¹⁶
how virgins might

blow up men?

PAROLLES
    Virginity being blown down, man will quicklier
be
¹¹⁸

blown up.
Marry
, in
blowing him down
¹¹⁹
again, with the

breach
yourselves made, you lose your
city.
It is not
politic
¹²⁰
in

the commonwealth of nature to preserve virginity. Loss of

virginity is
rational increase
, and there was never virgin
got
¹²²

till virginity was first lost.
That
you were made of is
mettle
¹²³
to

make virgins. Virginity by being once lost may be ten times

found.
By being ever kept, it is ever lost. 'Tis too
cold
¹²⁵
a

companion. Away with't!

HELEN
    I will
stand for't
¹²⁷
a little, though therefore I die a

virgin.

PAROLLES
    There's little can be said
in't
¹²⁹
, 'tis against the rule of

nature. To speak on the
part
¹³⁰
of virginity is to accuse your

mothers, which is most
infallible
disobedience.
He that
¹³¹

hangs himself is a virgin: virginity murders itself and should

be buried in
highways out of all sanctified limit
¹³³
, as a

desperate
offendress
¹³⁴
against nature. Virginity breeds mites,

much like a cheese, consumes itself to the very
paring
¹³⁵
, and

so dies with feeding
his
own
stomach.
¹³⁶
Besides, virginity is

peevish
¹³⁷
, proud, idle, made of self-love, which is the most

inhibited
sin in the
canon.
¹³⁸
Keep it not, you cannot choose

but
lose
by't.
Out with't!
Within ten year it will
make itself
¹³⁹

two, which is a goodly increase, and the
principal
¹⁴⁰
itself not

much the worse. Away with't!

HELEN
    
How
¹⁴²
might one do, sir, to lose it to her own liking?

PAROLLES
    Let me see. Marry, ill, to like him that ne'er
it
¹⁴³
likes.

'Tis a commodity will lose the
gloss
with
lying
¹⁴⁴
: the longer

kept, the less worth. Off with't while 'tis
vendible.
Answer
¹⁴⁵

the time of request. Virginity, like an old courtier, wears her

cap out of fashion: richly
suited
but
unsuitable
¹⁴⁷
, just like the

brooch and the
toothpick
, which
wear not
now. Your
date
¹⁴⁸
is

better in your
pie
and your
porridge
than
in your cheek.
¹⁴⁹
And

your virginity, your old virginity, is like one of our French

withered
pears
: it looks ill, it
eats dryly.
¹⁵¹
Marry, 'tis a withered

pear: it was formerly better: marry, yet 'tis a withered pear.

Will you anything with it?

HELEN
    Not my virginity yet —

There
¹⁵⁵
shall your master have a thousand loves,

A
mother
¹⁵⁶
and a mistress and a friend,

A
phoenix
¹⁵⁷
, captain and an enemy,

A guide, a goddess, and a sovereign,

A counsellor, a traitress, and a dear.

His humble ambition, proud humility,

His jarring
concord
, and his discord
dulcet
¹⁶¹
,

His faith, his sweet
disaster.
¹⁶²
With a world

Of pretty,
fond
,
adoptious
christendoms
¹⁶³

That
blinking
Cupid
gossips.
¹⁶⁴
Now shall he —

I know not what he shall. God send him
well!
¹⁶⁵

The court's a learning place, and he is one—

PAROLLES
    What one, i'faith?

HELEN
    That I wish well. 'Tis pity—

PAROLLES
    What's pity?

HELEN
    That wishing well had not a
body
¹⁷⁰
in't,

Which might be felt, that we, the poorer born,

Whose
baser stars
do
shut us up in
¹⁷²
wishes,

Might with
effects of them
¹⁷³
follow our friends,

And show what we
alone must think
¹⁷⁴
, which never

Returns us
thanks.
¹⁷⁵