Altering Authority (10 page)

“What’s the matter Tate?” he asked with a sly smile that told her he already knew. She didn’t want to give him that leverage. She didn’t want him to know how jealous she was so instead she looked up at him and smiled. “I’m too sober for this shit. I need another drink.” His smile fell just slightly then, his eyes growing serious. He stood simply staring at her, still holding onto her wrist. Her eyes began to fill with tears. She knew she would never have him. Knew he’d never let anyone else in again. The spite filled her. She wasn’t used to not getting what she wanted yet she didn’t look away.

Their gazes never faltered as a tear betrayed her and slid down her cheek. He breathed deep and pulled her to him, placing his hands on her hips as the song slowed down. The movement made her inhale deeply, shakily, so as not to sob aloud. He slid his arm slowly around her back, pulling her closer to him. They danced.

The way he smelled, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the way his body moved under his sweater had her nearly coming undone. Sliding her hand up his chest, she rested it on his neck. He drew lazy circles on her hip and she felt his erection grow against her stomach. The tension between them was palpable. He knew that Phil would have something to say about this later, but right now, for that moment he didn’t look up. Just pressed his lips to the top of her head and savored the feel of her against him.

When the song neared its end, Jager whispered to her, “Let’s go somewhere hey? Do you want to go for a ride?”

Tatum simply nodded, unsure if he meant ‘a ride’ in the literal sense, as in on his bike or… Either way she didn’t care so long as she was with him.

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Somewhat to her disappointment he led her to the parking lot and his bike. He gave her his helmet and she slid it on awkwardly. There was no way to look sexy in a helmet but she knew he’d insist. He revved the bike and Tatum slid her arms around his waist. The closeness of him, the way he was pressed against her open legs made her shudder. She pressed her cheek to his back as he took off. They drove for a long time, no destination in mind, until they pulled up by the beach.

It was the first time Tatum had been there since coming to the west coast. She’d grown up next to the Atlantic Ocean where the taste of the salty air was a common thing; however the Pacific didn’t seem to have that. The air smelled like sun screen and hot dogs. She slid off the bike, removing her helmet, and shaking out her hair. Jager followed suit and got off. He walked over to the railing that separated the street from the beach and leaned on it, his back to the water, facing Tatum. She walked over to him and stood between his open legs. He swallowed hard, looking at her face, her eyes. She could see that he was at war with himself. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

Looking away and running his hand thru his hair he began chewing on his bottom lip. Tatum had come to realize that this was what he did when he was deep in thought. She took another step closer to him, the inside of his thighs touching the outside of hers. He looked at her and shook his head, as if to say ‘fuck it.’ He hesitated a moment before grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling her to him. He did it softly, leaving the decision up to her. She didn’t hesitate, putting her hands on the back of his head, in his hair. He sighed and put his head on her stomach. He didn’t say anything for a long time but when he did, it was no more than a whisper. With a deep breath, he let it out. “I love you Tate.”

She didn’t know how to respond, just pulled him closer. No one had ever said those words to her.

He sniffed in and pulled back from her, leaving his arms on her waist. “I can’t do it though… I can’t give in and be with you because I know that as much as it hurts
not
being with you, losing you would be so much worse.” His lips trembled and he couldn’t keep eye contact with her. His voice was so quiet that Tatum wanted to kneel in front of him but she couldn’t make herself move. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and she knew that no matter what she said to him, he wouldn’t change his mind.

Absently he began rubbing her hip, her thigh. She waited to speak until she knew that her voice wouldn’t crack. “…I’m not April. Nothing is going to happen to me…” Tatum breathed in, her voice being traitorous. He stared at the quiet street behind her, regret written all over his face. “… Let’s just have tonight. Please?” she said, despite the dissipating control over her voice. Jager looked at her then and nodded. He stood and wrapped his arms around her, reluctant to let her go. He kissed her head a few times before looking at her. “Let’s go to the beach,” she said, pushing away, unable to stand it any longer.

They walked down the stairs toward the sand, him a few steps ahead of her. His melancholy mood was killing her. Her heart was beating hard in her chest and she just wanted him back and acting happy, as if her presence didn’t cause him pain. How did their night end up like this? Trying to lighten the mood, she staggered back a little and then ran, jumping on his back. He wasn’t expecting it and stumbled forward a few steps, catching them both before they fell. She wore a skirt and her bare legs felt so smooth and small in his big, rough hands. She leaned down, laying her head on his shoulder as he stalked toward the water. “Let’s go swimming.”

The beach was practically empty. They had no idea what time it was but knew that it had to be after 2 am. Tatum slid off his back and began undoing her skirt.  “What are you doing?” he asked, his smile returning. “I told you. Swimming,” she said with a seductive smile, despite her eyes still being ringed with red. She hesitated before pulling off her shirt. She hadn’t worn a bra and wasn’t sure if being basically naked in front of him right now was a good idea. When he pulled his sweater off over his head, she threw caution to the wind and slid her shirt off quickly, turning away from him and towards the ocean before he could see anything. Within a few seconds she heard his footsteps running behind her. She squealed when his arm wrapped around her torso as he flung her up over his shoulder, never losing a beat as he ran toward the ocean. Tatum’s laughs only ended when he dove into the water, with her still in his arms. She spluttered to the surface, pushing her hair out of her face and laughing. Jager came up a second later, flicking his hair out of his eyes the way guys do with a jerk of his head.

Tatum realized then how bright the moon was, the sky was completely cloudless. The water wasn’t quite deep enough yet to cover her breasts, lapping somewhere around the smallest part of her waist. Jager stood there and stared at her for a second before averting his gaze. Tatum’s initial reaction would have been to cover herself, however she simply looked down at her bare breasts and shrugged. She arched her head back, dipping her hair in the water, smoothing it out and giving Jager a closer view.

He moved slowly toward her and wrapped a hand around her waist, pulling her closer before placing his other hand on the other hip. The feel of his bare skin on hers made her shudder. He looked at her for a sign that she was going to push him away and when he saw none, his lips moved towards her collar bone where he began kissing and sucking the way he fantasized about that night on his birthday. Slowly, he worked up her neck and then to her lips. She wanted to cry all over again. She’d waited to have his lips on hers for so long now. Her heart broke, knowing this wasn’t going to happen again. It was a once in a lifetime kind of deal.

His lips were soft but intense. His fingers dug into her hip more tightly and he drew her even closer, pressed himself onto her harder. His tongue traced hers and she moaned against his mouth. She felt him grow hard against her stomach. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips. He pushed himself against her, this time hitting the right spot. She inhaled sharply, both of their breaths coming quicker. She began throbbing, wrapping her legs around him tighter, straddling him in the water. He ran his hands down, holding her up by her ass and she prayed that he would slide his fingers just a few more inches towards her center. She craved more contact, needed it, so she rubbed her hand down his chest towards his shaft, which she knew, wanted to be touched as much as she did. Loosening her hold on his hips, Tatum slid her finger first into the waist band of his boxers, meeting with the tip of his penis. He moaned again and slid his lips back down her neck and kissed her shoulder as she began stroking him, pushing him against herself in the process. His hand finally moved under her. He slid her underwear aside and began teasing her first with his thumb. Running it along the outside of her lips, then spreading them and finally pushing his two middle fingers into her. She almost erupted then and there.

“Tate. Fuck,” he whispered as she slid her legs away from him and pulled his shorts down over his hips, fully exposing him under the water. She was at the point then that the thought of putting on a condom didn’t even matter to her.  She needed him inside her and there was no going back. Jager pushed her back, just a bit. She looked into his eyes and she could see that he was thinking otherwise. His cautious self was back. He kissed her softly on the lips and then trailed them down her jaw and to her ear. The wary glaze covered his eyes again and she remembered that this would be a one-time deal. Despite every nerve ending in her body dying to have him inside her, she wasn’t that kind of girl. Not one of his groupies. The tears sprang into her eyes again. And like a slap in the face, she was done.

“I can’t be one of your whores Jager. One night isn’t going to cut it for me.”

He took a deep breath and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering there. “A thousand nights wouldn’t cut it for me…”

Tatum looked up at him, the air completely emptying her lungs as if she’d been punched in the stomach.

Jager studied her face for a minute. “This is a bad idea,” his eyes regretful. He looked at her for a few seconds more, at war with the conflicting thoughts in his mind.

She saw the resolution in his eyes before he said, “Let’s go” and turned without checking to see if she was following.

He dropped her off at the club where the party was still in full swing. They both walked in with their hair dripping wet, earning them some questionable stares. Tatum hung her head and hurried to her room, not in the mood for conversation. Phil stood when he saw her expression and instead of running to her, he turned to Jager, “something you want to tell me Jager?” he said viciously, pushing his finger into Jagers chest, his accent more pronounced and filled with venom. Jager stared at him, not saying anything for a moment and Phil could see the pain in his eyes and lowered his finger. “What?” he asked, more softly now. It hurt to see his best friend in pain almost as much as it did his daughter.

“It’s nothing Phil. Nothing happened. Or will happen,” Jager said before walking toward the bar where Melanie stood. Phil watched him whisper something into her ear, she smiled and nodded, and then they both walked out of the club.

Phil sat back down on the couch next to Gary and Bobo. He didn’t know what the protocol was for dealing with heart-sick adult daughters. Did he leave her be? Should he go check on her? In the end he was knocking on the door asking, “Tate, let me in lovey. Are you alright?”

After debating whether or not she would pretend she was asleep, she opened the door. Her eyes were red and swollen. Phil frowned, his heart constricting at the sight of his daughter, tougher than most of the bikers and enforcers he knew, crying over a man. He felt guilty then, assuming that Jager was keeping his word to Phil and not giving Tatum what she wanted because of his warnings.  What other reason would there be for not wanting more from her? She was beautiful and basically the female version of Jager. Phil knew he loved her, could see it in his eyes. The way they’d light up when he saw her, no matter what had happened previously, she had a way of making him forget the bad in his life and focus more on the good. He’d talk to their Authority in the morning; tell him he takes back not wanting them to be together. If it was hurting them both this much to stay apart, it wasn’t worth it.

He pulled his daughter into his arms and right away she began sobbing onto his shoulder. “I feel like such an idiot,” she pulled back, wiped her eyes and walked over to sit on the bed. “I didn’t even cry when Bill died. I’ve done terrible things... Atrocious things… and never even batted an eyelash, yet, here I am, like a teenager crying over this
criminal
, in front of my dad.”

It was the first time she’d openly referred to him as that. His heart constricted even more and he took a deep breath. “…Do you want me to talk to him?” Phil said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

Tatum laughed then, a wet, sniffle-y kind of laugh. “No, Phil. Thanks though. I’m just going to go to bed,” she smiled and then stood, indicating that his welcome had been rescinded. She hugged her father at the door. He cast one last wary look at his daughter over his shoulder before walking back to the party.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

The next two weeks passed by slowly. Tatum felt like she’d over stayed her welcome and had contacted Edgar to ask him if she could hitch another ride back. He agreed, as she knew he would. Her flight was scheduled for the following week. She told Phil and he was disappointed, but he knew that being around Jager, avoiding him was hard for her.

The Authority took up with Melanie shortly after, as well as with the bottle. He spent most of his time buzzed, at the very least. Phil knew it was just an outlet, something to get his mind off Tatum. When he told Jager that he was sorry, that he didn’t really mean what he said about hooking up with his daughter, Jager told him that had nothing to do with it. He didn’t elaborate, and Phil knew that was the end of the conversation.

Tatum had suddenly taken up a new found interest in Sugar as well, an interest that was eager and well reciprocated. She knew she was leading him on, but seeing Jager with that whore killed her. She
knew
how he felt about her.
Knew
that it wouldn’t change overnight. If seeing him with Melanie hurt her, seeing Tatum with his best friend had to hurt him too.

Knowing of her plans to leave California and head back east, Phil wanted to send her off properly so he planned a going away party for her. The thought of her leaving had a knot building in his chest. He didn’t know when he’d see her again and still had so much more catching up to do. He wished things with her and Jager were different. Knowing that there was some tension between them, he didn’t have high hopes for the party. He just prayed that no one got killed. Jeannie volunteered herself to come up with some ideas. Phil wasn’t creative. He wanted something special however to him that was simply free beer and a few pretty girls. He expected that Tatum got that anyways, and wouldn’t really appreciate it as much as he would have. In the end, she planned a simple, yet formal themed party.

Tatum was nervous and anxious as she and Ava got ready together. She didn’t know if Jager would show up or if he’d bring Melanie. She couldn’t handle it if he did. Her chest was tight and it seemed that at any minute she’d burst out into tears. They over did it on the shots before they left Ava’s apartment. She wasn’t hammered per se, however she was feeling a lot braver than she was when she’d first started getting ready.

The cab pulled up in front of the building and they got out together, linking arms and giggling as they tried to maneuver their way in in their precariously tall heels. From outside they could hear the bass pumping and they could see the windows vibrating. Taking a deep breath, Tatum opened the doors. When she walked in all eyes were on her. Her dress was sheer, black lace that wrapped around the bottom of her throat, (not that she needed anything else to keep her from breathing. The anticipation from seeing Jager with Melanie was enough to choke her) and traveled down to her knuckles where her thumbs poked out through little holes. It defied gravity. It was so short that it just barely covered her ass. Not that it mattered, the whole thing was completely see thru and more than a few of the men, while grateful that she wore such a dress, found themselves imagining what it would look like without the black bra and panties underneath.

Phil nearly had a heart attack. He wanted to rush over and take her long, dark hair which was hanging naturally in an abundance of curls down her back, and pull it forward to cover her chest. He knew taking off his dinner jacket and asking her to wear it wouldn’t go over well, so, regretfully, he did nothing. Her eyes lit up when she saw him. “You look amazing! I thought you might clean up well,” she said and gave him a hug and a kiss. His black dress suit was impeccable. His long skinny tie and converse sneakers made him look years younger. Tatum knew that
had
he been younger, and not her father, she’d still find him to be a very handsome man.

“I don’t even know what to say about you,” Phil said smiling and looking anywhere but
at
his daughter.

“Sorry,” she said with a shrug that proved she wasn’t exactly sorry. “It was all I could find to wear,” she smiled and looked warily around the room before returning back to Phil.

He could read her expression. “He’s not here lovey,” was all he said with a sad undercurrent and she felt relieved and disappointed all at once.

She kissed her father on the cheek. “Thank you Phil, for all of this and really for everything.” He smiled back and left to grab a beer from the bar.

              The drinks flowed and before long, Jager was shoved to the back of Tatums mind. She and Ava danced and when Sugar arrived, he decided he wanted to show her a good time. Hozier’s Arsonist’s Lullabye came on and he pulled her toward the dance floor, thinking he’d get a nice, slow dance in with her. Tatum had other ideas however, and when the beat cut in, she turned slowly on her heels, her back to his chest, and pressed herself into his groin where she swayed and grinded her hips. He held her to him and she flicked her hair over his shoulder as she slid slowly down his body. How her dress stayed down, no one knew. That sucker must have been on tighter than it looked. On her way back up, she bent from the waist and twisted her ass into him and knew right away that she was having a profound effect. He forced her upright and twisted her around so that they were face to face. He held her tight, his hands resting respectfully on her lower back, just above her ass, and played along with her game. She was surprised by how good he could dance. She looked around for Ava, sure that her friend was getting a kick out of this, however she was nowhere to be found. Bending back, pressing herself into Sugar, feeling his hard-on against her, she lowered her head towards the floor, putting full trust in him not to drop her. She noticed a small commotion by the front door but thought little of it as she pushed herself back up and face to face with him. He could barely contain himself. He slid his hands over her ass slowly. She buried her face into his neck but it didn’t last long.

Forcefully, he was ripped from her, nearly taking her with him. Once she caught her bearings she looked up in time to see Jager take a swing and clock Sugar on the jaw. He swayed on his feet, looking as if he would be knocked out, however he recovered. He didn’t attempt to fight back, just stepped away as the other guys, Phil included, restrained Jager. Tatum looked at him, her heart constricted. His hair was combed back, his suit, although now twisted and manhandled, looked amazing on him. He could have stepped off the cover of a magazine, if not for his face, which was venomous. She straightened her hair and pulled at the hem of her dress, while the situation calmed down around her. Sugar stalked off past her to the bathroom she presumed, clenching his jaw and the whole while Jagers eyes never left his back… Until they landed on Tatum.

He looked her up and down and his face softened. She saw the regret in it, the longing, and wanted more than anything to walk to him and wrap her arms around him, but she didn’t. She stood her ground. If he wanted to say anything to her, she was there, waiting. He ran his hand through his hair and then over his face. She noticed then that he’d shaved and the tears sprang into her eyes. All of this was for her. He frowned and took a step toward her. The sight of her crying, yet again over him was driving him insane. He couldn’t handle it. Phil held him back, and when he tried to shake out of his hold, the older man gripped him tighter. Jager turned to look at him and could see the warning in his eyes.

“It’s fine Phil. I’m fine,” Jager said and reluctantly he let him go. Taking a couple of steps, trying to fix his suit and tie, Jager came to stand next to Tatum.

“You look incredible,” he said, looking into her eyes and swallowing hard.

Tatum mustered a smile. If he was going to be cordial, she could be cordial too. “So do you,” she replied.

She hoped that this was it. The moment he apologized, took her in his arms and ran away with her. Instead, he offered her a weak, sad smile and said, “I’ll uh… see you around,” before walking toward the bar.

Tatum was numb.
What just happened?
She realized that she’d not taken a breath in a few moments and inhaled sharply, shakily. Finding her feet, she turned and made her way to the bathroom. She knew tears weren’t far off and she didn’t want Phil, who was watching her intently, to see her cry again. Rounding the corner, she watched Ava quietly close the door to Jagers office, and then lock it. Turning to walk away, she saw Tatum and jumped.

“Shit girl, you scared me,” she said before registering the look on her face. “What’s the matter?”

Tatum could only shake her head as she made her way toward the bathroom. She grabbed Ava’s hand on the way and they both walked in. She told her what happened. She managed to keep herself together; holding back the tears. When they returned, Ava did her best to keep Tatum occupied. They did even more shots. They danced with every guy there. By the end of the night, all Tatum could think about was not throwing up. Ava considered her job as friend done, and left pretty early. But more than once during that time Tatum saw Ava giving Jager dirty looks.

He on the other hand did his best to avoid looking in their direction. She was killing him. She looked
so
good. That dress… It was as if she were sown into it. He messed up, he knew it, but this was the only way. If he gave her an inch, she’d take a mile. He had to be cold. Had to make her see that being with him wasn’t worth it. He wanted more than anything to go over to her, tell her not to leave. To stay. Instead he stayed in the corner with Gary sulking until he couldn’t take it any longer. She was beyond drunk and dancing with some guy that Jager didn’t really know. His hands were all over her and hers on him. When he couldn’t take it anymore he stood and walked into his office. He sat heavily on the chair and pulled open the top drawer, where he remembered he’d put a joint earlier in the week. There was a gun on top of some files that were in there. He picked it up and turned it over in his hand. He didn’t remember putting it there, but then again, the way his week was going, he couldn’t remember much. Laying it back in, he found the joint in the corner, pulled it out and lit it.

When he was done he came back out to discover that Tatum was gone. Phil was driving her to his place to stay the night. Apparently she’d barfed outside and begged him to take her home. He was grateful that she didn’t leave with anyone else. He didn’t see Sugar for the rest of the night, but only felt somewhat bad about punching him. He shouldn’t have been touching her like that. Then again, she shouldn’t have been letting him.