Always Enough (15 page)

My mouth dropped open.

“You mean you’re moving back now? I thought you’d go back to Los Angeles for a little bit first.”

He shook his head. “No, there’s no reason for me to be there right now. I have you here, and my parents are here. Plus, I told you, I need to be by my dad right now.”

I nodded, understanding. Taking his hand, I showed Ky around the house and he loved it. I told him I’d draw up the paperwork with the builder and get the process started straight away. In the meantime, I knew that I didn’t want him staying at a hotel—or his parents’ house—when I could have him with me. It seemed selfish, but I missed him.

“Are you going to go stay with your parents?”

“I thought about it, but I was going to ask you if you minded me crashing at your place for a bit?” Ky said, leaning against the wall in the hallway.

He gave me a devilish smile and it made me shiver. Ky living in my house? The possibilities were endless.

“I don’t think that will be a problem.”

He barked out a laugh and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him.

“In all seriousness, though, my boys could use a good stroking. I’m worried they’re broken.”

Rolling my eyes, I laughed and elbowed him again.

“Shut up.”

I had no idea if showing up at the house would work. I was glad it had though. My girl was back with me—no more moping around like a sad heartbroken chick. If Anders hadn’t got laryngitis, I think the boys would have staged an intervention to make sure my man card was still intact … then kicked my ass off the tour. I would never have pegged myself for being a fool in love, but I guess I was.

Harper and I went back to her place, and I put my stuff in her bedroom before taking a shower. Fuck, I smelled bad. While I washed the stench off me, Harper made some calls about the house, and got the paperwork ready to go. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long—I was hoping I could close the house in thirty days or less. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to stay with my girl as long as I could, but I also didn’t want to wear out my welcome. We were still a fairly new couple, trying to figure each other out. It didn’t matter that we had known each other for years, or that we’d already dated. This was more serious than what we’d had before, and I didn’t want to fuck it up in the first month because I was all up in her space.

When I got out of the shower, I toweled off and grabbed my phone off her dresser. I needed to call my parents and tell them that not only was I in town, but that I was home for good. I’d planned on going over there after I satisfied my libido. Oh, who was I kidding? As long as the sex goddess was in the other room that was never going to happen.

I dialed my parents’ house and my mom picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Ma, how are you and Dad doing?”

“Hey, baby boy. Oh … it’s going.” She sounded tired.

“That’s good, I guess. Hopefully I can cheer you up a bit when I give you my good news.”

“I could use some cheering up, hit me.”

“I’m back home, Ma. As in, home for good.”

I expected her to be happy, but what I got was my mother bursting out in tears.

“Ma, what’s the matter?”

“I’m just so happy, baby. Your dad isn’t doing well, and the doctors have been talking about putting him on hospice care.” She was sobbing now.

I had to hold back my own tears. Hospice? Wasn’t that what they did when you were on your last legs? I remembered when they’d put my grandma in a hospice, and my parents talked about it being only to keep her comfortable until she passed away. There was no way my dad was that bad. Last time I was home, he was still doing okay.

“Ma, I need you to tell me everything the doctor said.”

She started from when I was last home, up until his last doctor’s appointment. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it—how could my Dad’s cancer have spread from his pancreas to his lymph nodes, then to his lungs.

“I’ll be heading to the house shortly, okay?”

We hung up and I sat on the bed with my head hanging down, still not dressed. How was I going to fix this? I could get a second opinion, but I already had one of Idaho’s best doctors on his case. My dad was sick, and there was nothing else I could do. I didn’t think that I’d be able to come to terms with that, but I had to do everything I could to hold it together for my mom’s sake. I had to be her rock. They’d been married for thirty-five years. They were high school sweethearts, and he was all my mother knew. She was going to need me.

Harper came in the room and saw me sitting on the bed, lost in my own thoughts.

“Hey, handsome. What do you want to do now? We could order in pizza, and sit naked in the living room, then have each other for dessert? Or we could …”

She trailed off when she noticed my mood.

“What’s going on, Kyler?”

My voice cracked, “It’s my Dad. He’s worse.”

Her soft hand stroked my back and she laid her head on my shoulder.

“Shit. Is there anything I can do?”

I shook my head. “I’m going to get dressed and head out to my parents’ place in a few minutes.”

“Okay. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I think I need to go by myself. My mom is falling apart and I need to go be with her for a bit.”

I knew she would be hurt that I’d pushed her away, but I hoped she understood.

“Alright, well do you want me to order some food and you can just reheat it when you’re hungry?”

“Actually, I’m not sure if I’m going to be back tonight. I don’t know what I’m going to find when I get over there.”

“Okay, well just know that I’m here. Will you text me later?”

“Yeah.”

I was being a dick, but Harper’s feelings weren’t at the forefront of my mind right now. I got up and finished getting dressed, then headed out the door.

The text from Kyler never came later that evening. In fact it didn’t come the following morning, or the next day. Before I knew it, three days had passed and I hadn’t heard a single word from him. On the second day, I’d texted him to see if he was doing okay and asked if there was anything I could do, but he never replied. To say I was worried was an understatement. It wasn’t like him to just ignore me or not talk to me at all. If there was one thing that I loved about Ky, it was his attentive side. He never hesitated to go above and beyond to make sure that everyone around him was happy.

I was desperate to talk to him, but every time I started to write him another text, I’d delete it. Or I’d pick up the phone and find his name, but end the call before it connected. Ky needed space. He needed time to take care of his family without me hovering over him or being needy. If he wasn’t going to ask for my help with anything, then space is what I’d give him.

When five days had passed and I was still alone with no word from Ky, I was lost. The space meant I got to sit quietly, running through scenarios in my own head, and making up what on earth was going on. The questions were endless. Would Ky realize that he didn’t need me anymore? Would he find comfort and solace elsewhere? Yeah, space could suck it. I wanted to know how he was doing.

On the morning of the sixth day, I decided to go to his parents’ house and pretty much force myself on him. When people are hurting, they never ask for help because they think they can do everything themselves. I’d been a dumbass in ‘staying out of the way’ because I was too scared to step in and help him. Well, not anymore. I loved him and I would show him that I could be strong for him while he was being strong for his mom.

For the first time in almost a week, I had some pep in my step. I was happy that I had a plan and that I no longer felt out of control. The day was a busy one, so I didn’t have too much time to sit and dwell on things. I sat in my office making phone calls with contractors, new clients, and sorted through some deals that would close soon. By the time six o’clock rolled around, the office was pretty much empty, besides the cleaning lady.

Closing my computer, I grabbed my purse out of my desk drawer and went out to my car. On the drive home, I took a quick detour past the Lewis residence just to see if Ky was even there. Nothing would be worse than hyping myself up to see him, only to find he wasn’t even there. Okay, and to be honest, I was also trying to talk myself out of it, but I had to be strong.

I was a bit shocked when I drove by the house. There were cars parked all over in the driveway and several more around the house on the side of the street. What in the hell was going on? I assumed it was hospice workers making a house call, and that was the reason for all the vehicles. It was getting darker outside and I couldn’t really tell what was going on inside the house as I slowly drove by and tried to peek. Honestly, I felt a bit like a stalker. After I passed, I sped up and started the trek home.

My mind had been so clouded with how the evening could possibly play out that I didn’t even notice the other car in my driveway. It wasn’t until I got up to my door and turned the key in the lock that I heard Michael call my name from behind me.

“Harper, are you okay?”

My arms flew up in the air and I dropped my keys and purse on the ground. Clutching my chest, I said, “Jesus, Michael, what on earth are you doing here? You scared the shit out of me.”

“You didn’t see me parked in your driveway? I tried calling your name, but you were walking up to your door like a total zombie. What’s going on?” He sounded concerned.

God, how had I been that zoned out that I hadn’t noticed him?

“I’m sorry. I guess I just have a lot on my mind,” I told him.

He nodded his head, then bent down to help me pick up my things. When we stood back up, he handed them to me and started shuffling his feet. He was nervous, although I had no idea why.

“Uh, listen, I don’t mean to be rude here, Michael, but I have somewhere I need to be. I was just stopping at home so I could change real quick.”

He dragged his hands through his hair.

“Well, I was wondering if I could have a minute so we could talk?”

I desperately wanted to ask him to do this another night, but I’d acted like such a jerk the last time we were together, I felt like I owed it to him to give a little bit of time.

“Okay, come in.”

He followed me into the house and I went straight to my room to change. When I came back out, Michael was sitting on the living room couch. Before I sat down, I asked him if I could get him something to drink, but he told me no. When I was sat on the couch next to him, he looked over at me.

“I miss you, Harper.”

Okay, that was not what I’d been expecting him to say.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much over the last week, but I’ve had a lot going on and—”

“No, you’re not following me. I mean I miss
being
with you.”

I sat there in silence, unsure of what to say. I was about to speak when he reached over and grabbed my hand. I wanted to pull away from him, but instead I placed my hand over the top of his.

“Michael, I never meant to give you the impression that our, umm … get-togethers … were anything more than just … well, just sex.”

“I knew you say that, but you can’t possibly mean it. We were good together, Harper. There’s no way that you didn’t feel anything when you were with me.” He clutched my hand tighter as if to try and make me feel what he was feeling.

I looked down at our joined hands. How was I going to let him down easy, and get him out of my house so I could go and be with the man that I
really
wanted?

“You’re right, I can’t say that I didn’t feel anything, but I didn’t feel what
you’re
feeling. You’re my friend.” I paused to take a breath. “A friend that I thought I had a mutual understanding with. I thought what we had was a give and a take, but it was never going to go beyond that.”

“Maybe it was at first, but it stopped being that way for me a long time ago. If it was just sex, Harper, I wouldn’t have taken you out to dinner or anywhere else. I would have just come over, fucked you, and been done with it.”

He was right. How was it that I’d never noticed the signs? I’d been leading him on the whole time and I hadn’t even realized it. And the ‘World’s Biggest Bitch’ award goes to …