Always Summer (18 page)

I wanted
his fingers inside me, I wanted his thumb circling my clitoris, and I wanted
his mouth on mine again, instead of buried in my neck.

“Kiss me.”
I pleaded.

“I can’t...
I won’t be able to stop myself if I do.” He complained... pain clearly evident
in his voice.

“I don’t
want you to stop... I want to feel you.” I whined.

He groaned,
and then took a deep breath.

“Where...
where do you want to feel me,
Summer
?” he asked, again
the pain was there.

“I want to
feel you inside, I want to feel you down there.” I appealed to him.

“Down
here?” he asked, squeezing my pussy enough that I was quivering rather than
twitching.

“Yes,” I
implored him.

“I want to
fuck you... so much!
 
But I just can’t
use my cock, I don’t have any protection.” He groaned again.
 
He didn’t move his hand, just kept the
pressure applied.

I
whimpered.

“So tell me
what I can do for you,
Summer
?!” he demanded softly.

“Make me
come.” I asked him, “please!”

“With my
hand?” he asked huskily.

God damn... why was he taking so long?
 
I was about to die here!

I started
shaking all over, my leg was about to give way.

“Please
Blake... I want you... to touch me... touch my pussy, please!”

His growl
was feral.
 
I felt it rumble right
through his body.

“Shhh....”
he purred.
 

What was his experience anyway?

And then he
began to move his thumb, applying pressure to my clitoris, while kissing my
neck.

I wanted
him to enter me with his fingers, but he didn’t... perhaps that was too hard
for him too.
 
Just as my moaning
increased and I began moving against his thumb, he lifted his face so he could
look down on me.
 
His eyes were
possessive, aching and raw; yet his face looked a little tender, he was biting
his lip fiercely.
 
He caught my sight and
I went to close my eyes, my mouth slightly ajar, emitting small moans of
ecstasy.

“Keep your
eyes open... look at me.” He commanded me gruffly... forcefully!

I did.
 
It was my undoing... The ecstasy intensified,
and my body began to convulse.
 
I began
to moan louder... in waves, so he moved his mouth forward to cover mine and
muffle the scream that was emerging... still, I thought it was at least loud
enough that anyone in this building or the immediate surrounds would’ve heard
and identified it.

My body was
still jittering when he dropped my leg and repositioned my skirt.

Blake.

I hadn’t
been exactly sure whether approaching
Summer
like this
was a wise move or not.
 
However, over
the course of the day, we had flirted so outrageously, that I threw caution to
the wind.

Her
response was more than I could hope for... and now I struggled to maintain my
control.

I wanted to
be inside her... I really did!
 
But I
knew I would’ve followed through... I wouldn’t have been able to stop
myself.
 
But her plea... oh... it was
heartbreaking.

I squeezed
her pussy with my hand.
 
She was
pulsing... I could feel her.

Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn!

I was struggling
so much to control myself!
 

I just
wanted to ram her up against the wall... I wanted to fuck her hard... right
now!
 
I wanted her pussy wrapped around
my cock.
 
This was my best friend... this
was fucking insane!
 
I was so incredibly
turned on!

Her body
wanted me too, but her mind was still confused... I had to walk a bloody narrow
path of control, although I obviously had very little control to have wandered
down this avenue in the first place.
 
But
I had never before wanted something so much as I wanted her.

She pleaded
with me to make her come...
Shit, she
asked me to touch her pussy!
 
I damn
near fell apart then and there... I would’ve yanked my jeans off and fucked her
hard in front of the whole God Damn world, but I couldn’t fuck this up!

She needed
to stop talking before my control was unraveled... before I ruined anything.

“Shhh...” I
implored her.

I began to
move my thumb; I could feel the growth in her nub as I administered friction to
it. I could also feel how wet she had become on my hand.
 
Her pussy was smooth... she obviously had no
hair there, apart for the smattering I felt directly above her clitoris, which
was in itself short.
 

My
breathing was ragged...

I was
touching
Summer’s
pussy...

I wanted to
be with her... badly!
 
Her... just her...
it had always and only ever been... her!

I needed
her to look at me... to know that it was me touching her, that it was me making
her feel this way.

I demanded
as nicely as I could that she remained looking directly at me.
 
As a result, she instantaneously began to
completely unravel.

Her moans
were increasing, her throbbing throughout her pussy had increased, and the
waves of both were beginning to overlap.
 
I had no doubt that if my fingers were inside her, the clenching of her
pussy would’ve stopped the circulation in them.
 
It was beautiful, she was so beautiful, and my insides turned into mush
watching this.
 
Watching her body spiral
out of control; watching her eyes plead with me to stop and continue all at the
same time; watching her sweet mouth tremble in pain and pleasure all at once.

If this was
how it was, just masturbating her... my mind was inundated with the
possibilities of where this heat between us could lead.

Christ...
she was going to scream... I had to prevent that from happening... I slammed my
mouth over hers, and muffled the intense wail she emitted to the best of my
ability.

When she
quietened down, and felt like she could collapse after the momentous waves had
subsided to lighter convulsions, I pulled my mouth from hers; and then I pulled
my hand away from her soft and slick folds.
 

I lowered
her leg and smoothed down her skirt.
 
I
subsequently lowered her to a seated position on the floor, propped up against
the wall.
 
I sat beside her... shoulder
to shoulder.

We were
both breathing as though we’d run for miles.

My erection
quite possibly wouldn’t depart for a week.
 
My balls hated me right now; in fact they’d hated me for the last two
days.
 
I understood their pain... I not
only felt it there, I felt it in my chest.
 
If
Summer
didn’t choose to be with me... I was totally and unequivocally fucked!

She grabbed
my hand and wove her fingers between mine, but apart from that, we both didn’t
move... we just couldn’t.

That’s how
they found us... dazed, staring out at the rear of other condos in the
immediate vicinity, but not really seeing them... and still holding hands.

Summer.

Now that
Blake was gone, and I was alone in my bedroom, waiting to go to sleep, having
shared dinner with both Sally and Henry; (Henry, whom Sally was sickeningly and
obviously in love with); the demons had emerged.

Why
couldn’t it be easy?
 
Why did I have to
equate what I shared with Blake alongside the tortures of my childhood?
 
It wasn’t even him I equated with doing
anything wrong... it was me!
 
The disgust
was my own.

*

F: summer_chicken_
[email protected]
 
07
/23/11,
23:08

T: [email protected]

Re: Demons

Hi,

I wish I
could report that my demons have decided to leave me alone and clear out,
but... no, they haven’t.

I wish I
could just believe what you said when you aren’t around.

I promise
I’m going to try though.

I just
wanted your permission to talk to my sister about this shit.
 
She is wise and all knowing... if you know
what I mean, and she’s super cool.
 
I’ll
leave out stuff about your background... I don’t think that will assist with
this situation anyway.

I need to
sleep, but... it’s difficult.

I’m such a
fuck up!

What’s
wrong with me?

I miss
you...

Summer x

F:
blake_austen_
[email protected]
 
07
/23/11, 23:17

T: [email protected]

Re: Demons

Summer,

This is
your journey... so, talk to your sister; tell her what you need to.
 
I won’t get mad.

I ask only
that you leave at least my sister’s part out of my past, but if you can get
around things without mentioning mine either, then that would be greatly
appreciated.
 
However, as noted above...
I really won’t get mad or even upset if you do go there with Sal.

I wish you
could’ve kept me there too, so I could hold you overnight, when you feel the
worst, but then you wouldn’t get the chance to deal with this shit.

You are not
a fuck up... not even close!

I hope you
can believe me too one day... soon!

It’s only
been several hours, and I feel as though it’s been months... I miss you too.

I don’t
think there’s anything actually wrong with you... you’re just working through
past shit.
 
I had to go there too, and it
took me years... and I mean years!

I suspect
you’ve dealt with most stuff, but this is a new thing to knock on the head.

I love you.

Blake x

P.S. I’ll
be waiting for you.

It took me
two days to work up enough courage to talk to my sister about things.
 
She had started a week of morning shifts at
the hospital the day before, and she had just walked through the door.
 
It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon.
 
After two nights with little sleep, and nothing
else going on, bar my disgust, I felt it was time to talk to her.

“Sal,” I
approached her as she slung her bag on the table and proceeded to pull the band
out of her hair and give her scalp a scratch.

“Yeah?” she
replied.

“I need to
talk to you...
it’s
kind of important.”
 
I said softly.

“Okay...
fire away chicken.” She offered, blowing out a huge sigh and settling in a
chair opposite me.

“Oh, God...
I don’t know where to begin!” I moaned, dramatically launching my head on top
of my arms on the table.
 
I was acting
over the top... I knew it!

“Okay...”
she chuckled, “let’s start with the beginning, and don’t skimp on details...
then just plough on through it till you get to the end.” She suggested.

I decided I
could do this, as long as I kept my face on the table and didn’t look at Sal.

I began at
the start... that I had lost my virginity to Jordan a year ago.
 
I told her about his modus operandi, and I
then explained about my feelings for Blake.
 
I peeked up through my hair, to see her intently staring at me.

“I think
anyone with eyes can see what you feel for Blake.
 
I can tell you now... he feels the same for
you.” She explained, smiling.

I groaned,
dumped my head back on my forearms and continued.
 
I decided not to tell her about Blake’s past,
it just didn’t figure in my problems; and she didn’t need to know.

However, I
told her about that day in my bed... then on her bed
(I inwardly cringed when I explained this bit)
, and I told her the
aftermath during that evening.

I again
looked through my hair... Sal’s face showed concern... but there wasn’t a hint
of scorn.
 
I plunged forward... finishing
with the episode on their back balcony, before outlining my disgust with myself
and why.