Amish Promises (34 page)

As winter progressed, the Lehman kids played down by the creek with Zane when they could. They came into the house a few times, to use the bathroom and get a snack. Shani asked Lila if it was
okay with their dad. Her face reddened and she said, “For a few minutes. He doesn't want us to hang around though.”

Monika did take care of Trudy, sometimes at her house but mostly at the Lehmans' place. A few times, she ventured down the lane for a cup of coffee. The little girl was toddling everywhere now, but still wanted to sit on Joel's lap when she visited. Monika said she still appeared out of sorts and seemed to be mourning Eve. “It's a travesty,” she said. “I've tried to talk with Tim, but he's as stubborn as ever.”

“How's Gideon doing?” Shani asked.

Monika smiled a little. “He seems fine.”

Life went on. Zane turned thirteen. The sheep had their lambs. Adam smiled. Raised his head. Reached for Zane.

Joel continued counseling and started thinking about what kind of work he wanted to do. They visited a nondenominational church a few miles away from the house—and kept going back. As Joel and Shani both recovered, they found new ways to relate. They were more careful with each other. Not as sure. But step-by-step, their marriage improved.

Trudy turned one in late February. Of course, the Becks weren't invited to the party—if there was one. It nearly broke Shani's heart to think of Eve not being with the little girl on her special day. She'd been with Abra the day Trudy was born; she should have been with the baby to celebrate her first year. But that, like so many things, wasn't meant to be.

Daffodils bloomed and then the tulips. Tim put in a huge garden, and Shani put in a tiny one. Joel stopped complaining about the smell of the dairy.

The first of April, Charlie called and asked if they could meet Eve and him for lunch the next Saturday. Shani recommended a pizza place near Valley Forge. They set a time, and then Shani asked, “Is something up?”

Charlie hesitated before answering. “We miss you guys. See you then.”

As Shani hung up, she tried not to guess what else might be going on.

 33 

T
he next Saturday was sunny and bright as Eve and Charlie waited inside the foyer of the pizza place. Eve had talked to Shani a couple of times each week on the phone, but she hadn't seen her since leaving Juneberry Lane in January.

Eve stood at the window, her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. Charlie stepped beside her and put his arm around her, tugging on her hair a little as he did. She was getting used to wearing it long. She leaned into him, resting her head against his neck. He pulled her closer.

A blue van turned into the parking lot. “There they are,” she said, grabbing his hand and rushing through the door. The van stopped, Zane climbed down, and ran toward Charlie. Eve waved at Joel in the driver's seat and hurried around to the other side, where Shani unbuckled Adam. She hugged her friend and then scooped up the baby into her arms. “He's so big.” Her eyes didn't leave his face as she spoke. He smiled up at her and blew a bubble.

“Look at you,” Shani said, “in your jeans and boots. And your hair—it's beautiful.”

Eve smiled.

“You look so happy,” Shani said.

Eve knew she was blushing. “I am.”

The women waited as Joel pulled the van into a parking space, and then Charlie and Eve greeted him after he climbed down. Even though he leaned heavily on his cane, he appeared much stronger.

Once they were seated, Eve continued to hold the baby.

“How's Karina doing?” Joel asked.

“Good. She's gone back to work part time. Samantha is doing well in daycare.”

“How's your job going?” Shani asked. Eve had gotten a position at the same daycare that Samantha attended.

“Fine. I've started working on my GED, and Charlie . . .” She paused as she reached over and patted his leg. “He's teaching me how to drive.”

Joel groaned.

Eve laughed. “Jah, it's quite the ordeal. There are times I wish he didn't have that big old truck.”

Charlie laughed. “Me too.” She grinned at him.

After they'd ordered their food, Charlie said, “Although we really do miss you and wanted to see you, we also have an announcement to make.”

Shani leaned forward. “We're all ears.”

Charlie glanced at Eve. She took a deep breath and then, as she cradled the baby, said, “We're getting married.”

“When?” Zane groaned.

“The end of May,” Charlie answered.

“Wow.” Shani leaned back against the booth, looking at Eve's left hand. “That's a short engagement. You don't even have a ring yet.”

Eve smiled at Charlie.

“Believe me, I tried to give her a ring . . .”

“I'm not used to jewelry,” Eve said. She could only adjust to so much at a time.

“Why so soon?” Shani asked.

Joel cleared his throat and said, “Shani . . .”

Zane looked from his mom to his dad and asked, “What's going on?”

Eve tried not to laugh. Shani's face reddened. “I didn't mean to imply there might be a reason for them to marry so soon.” She smiled. “I'm just used to being nosy.”

“It's fine,” Eve said. “We know it's right for us, is all. There's no reason to wait.” She'd never been surer of anything. She wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with Charlie.

Shani leaned forward again and took Eve's hand across the table. “We're so happy for you.”

Eve patted her friend's hand. “Thank you. But there's more.” This was the hard part.

Charlie nodded and said, “We don't want you to come to the wedding.”

“What?” Joel pressed back against the bench. “Of course we're coming to the wedding.”

“Hear me out,” Charlie said. “Tim's not going to be happy. We think he'll be more likely to keep a relationship with you—to allow Zane to play with the kids and Monika to have a friendship with you—all of that, if you don't come to the wedding.”

“I can see that,” Shani said.

“Me too.” Zane's voice was so serious it nearly broke Eve's heart.

Joel crossed his arms. “I've never been noninvited to a wedding before, especially not to my best friend's.”

Charlie said, “It's not that we don't want you there—out of anyone we want you the most.”

“And Tim and the kids,” Eve said, choking on the word
kids
. She could barely stand to think of them.

Everyone was silent for a long moment, and then Zane said, “Rose lost another tooth. And Trudy thinks she can run. Simon's almost as tall as Daniel, and both of them helped with calving, delivering a set of twins by themselves when Tim was at work.”

Eve met the boy's eyes and smiled. Even though it hurt, she was so happy for his news. “Wow,” Eve said. “What about Lila? How is she doing?”

Zane's face grew red, which made Eve smile even more. “She's fine,” Zane managed to say. “She and Jenny are friends again.”

Eve chuckled. “That must mean Jenny has given up on liking you.”

Zane turned beet red.

“Is she after Daniel again?” Eve asked.

Zane shrugged.

Shani grinned and then, perhaps in an effort to save Zane from further embarrassment, asked Eve, “What are your plans after you get your GED?”

She inhaled and then said, “I hope to go on to college, to study education.”

“Wonderful!” Shani beamed. “If anyone can do it, you can. What colleges are you looking at?”

“Eventually, Eastern Mennonite.”

Shani leaned forward again. “In Lancaster?”

Eve nodded. “We're moving back, after the wedding.”

“I have a lead on a job,” Charlie added. “And we're looking at acreage not too far from Monika's.”

“If I'm ever going to have a relationship with the kids, I need to be closer,” Eve said. “I hope, in time, Tim will allow me to see them.” She dropped her gaze to Adam. He was fast asleep in her arms.

Everyone was silent for a long moment, until Shani said, “I have something for you in the car.” She glanced from Eve to Charlie. “For both of you.”

Eve adjusted Adam, bringing him to her shoulder. “Why would you have something for us?”

“It's the shadow quilt Abra made for you.”

“No, Shani,” Eve said. “I gave it to you.”

“We'll make another one together,” she said. “Once you move back to Lancaster. I'd prefer that, actually.”

Abra's quilt had covered Shani and Joel through their darkest days. How could Eve not accept Shani's gift of hope and love? Her eyes began to swim.

“We'll learn to quilt together,” she said to her friend.
In memory of Abra.

 34 

T
he middle of April, Joel bought a used pickup to drive himself to physical therapy and counseling appointments. Shani headed back to work two days a week, worrying about how Joel would do caring for Adam and wondering how she'd do away from the baby. But all of them adjusted. Joel carried the baby around the house in the front pack, using his cane. Zane helped and became a pro at changing diapers.

Shani and Joel decided he'd wait until the end of August to find a job. Having the summer with the boys was more important than making more money—their savings would see them through until then. Plus, his disability benefits had finally kicked in.

He had his eye on a couple of nonprofit organizations for veterans—he was tracking their job listings and working on his résumé. Most surprising was that Joel's parents planned to come out for a visit in June, after Zane was out of school.

When Shani saw Monika, she didn't dare tell her about Eve and Charlie's plan to move back to Lancaster. She'd let them disclose that when they were ready. It was enough that Monika knew they were getting married. “What does Tim have to say about that?” Shani asked.

“Oh, you can imagine,” Monika replied.

“How about Gideon?”

Monika paused a moment. “You know, he seems oddly fine with all of it. He's not one to gossip anyway, but I haven't heard a single negative comment from Gideon about Eve or Charlie or . . . any of you.”

A couple of times, Tim ventured down to Joel and Shani's. Once when he was mending fence at their end of the field, and another time to ask to borrow their posthole digger. “One of the boys must have broken mine,” he said. “Probably Daniel.”

Shani guessed it was Simon. Daniel was the most conscientious child she'd ever met.

Both times Shani invited Tim in for coffee and he accepted. He commented on how big Adam was getting, and asked about Shani's dad. Then he said, “He seems like a good guy. Easier to get along with than your grandfather.” Tim sighed. “Although, looking back I could have handled all of that better. I'm thankful to your father for renewing my lease.”

Shani appreciated his honest words.

It was the beginning of May. The month Abra died. The month Samuel was killed. The month Joel was injured. The month of Mother's Day and Memorial Day. The month of losses.

On the anniversary of Samuel's death on the eleventh, Joel, Shani, and Adam drove into Philly and had dinner with Karina, Samantha, Charlie, and Eve. Zane somehow convinced Tim to let him stay with his kids for the evening. Shani doubted Zane told him she and Joel were going to Charlie's house.

Samantha was saying “Mama-mama,” reaching for food, and acting like she wanted to take steps. No one talked about the night Samuel died, but they did talk about Samuel. Karina shared about meeting him in college. She said she was shocked when he joined the Army Reserve his third year, after 9/11. “I never expected that from him,” Karina said. They'd moved to Philadelphia for him to go to grad school, which was how Samuel ended up in Charlie's unit.

Her little girl dropped a piece of a roll on the floor and then giggled. “He didn't want to name her Samantha,” Karina said, bending down. “He said it sounded prideful. I hope he doesn't mind.”

“Serves him right,” Joel said.

Shani gasped. But then Karina laughed. Charlie raised his glass. “To Samuel.”

They all raised their glasses in a toast.

Samantha giggled again.

On the way home Shani was thankful Zane hadn't come along, because Joel finally talked about that night.

Shani reached over and took his hand. He squeezed it. “It should have been me,” he said. “It's not that I cheated death—I cheated Samuel. He was just a big kid. Scared to death to be a dad. Afraid something was going to happen to Karina and the baby. He never should have died.”

Shani held his hand and stayed quiet.

“That's where I get all messed up with people saying all things work together for good.”

Shani waited for her husband to say more, but when he didn't she said, “The good that comes from it are the little things. All of us getting together tonight. You finally talking. The two of us trying to trust God. Getting help. Praying. Karina's generosity toward Eve. The empathy all of us have because of what we've gone through.” She sighed. Her words sounded hollow. “The thing is, you did live. So the most honoring thing you can do, in regards to Samuel, is to live your life as best you can. That's the most honoring thing we can do as far as God goes too.”

She felt sick to her stomach thinking about it—realizing how close she'd really come to losing Joel.

Her heart ached for Karina. And little Samantha. Just as others had come alongside her family, she determined to do what she could for the mother and daughter too.

The last Saturday of May, Zane was out doing his chores when Joel came out to the living room wearing his dress blues. Shani sat in the rocking chair, nursing the baby. “So you're going?”

“Yep,” he said. “I'm not going to cower to Tim Lehman.”

Shani shifted the baby to her shoulder. Tim had been fine with Zane staying when they went into Philly. He let Lila and Rose come over to make cookies two days ago. Yesterday he'd sent Simon over after he'd fallen a few feet from the silo. He'd only bumped his head, but Tim wanted Shani to make sure he didn't have another concussion. He'd been fine.

Shani didn't want to risk all of that. “Are you okay if Zane and I don't go with you?”

Joel nodded. “I don't think Tim cares as much about what I do. I'm going to be there for Charlie.”

Shani kept patting the baby's back.

“Why are you going so early?” Shani asked. “The ceremony isn't until noon.” It seemed a funny time to have a wedding, but after Eve told Shani Amish weddings started at nine, it made more sense.

Joel gripped his dress hat. “Charlie said if I insisted on attending, I might as well stand up with him. They're taking photos beforehand.”

Shani wrinkled her nose. She'd give anything to see Charlie and Joel in their uniforms and Eve in her dress. Shani kept patting the baby's back. At least there would be pictures.

“Come here,” she said. Joel complied. She patted the cushion beside her, and he sat. She turned toward him and touched the row of medals on the right side of his jacket. He'd added his purple heart. “I'm proud of you,” she whispered.

He glanced down at his medals. “Not for these, I hope.”

She took a deep breath. “Yes, for these. But also for the hard work you're doing. Mostly for wanting to come back to us. For finally coming home.”

He put his arm around her and pulled her close, until their faces touched. She felt his tears first and then her own. Without speaking they both cried until Joel kissed her lips. And then, without saying a word, he stood, retrieved his cane from beside his recliner, and headed out the door. She listened to the thump of his steps down the ramp and the slam of his pickup door. Then he was gone.

A half hour later, when she finally got around to doing the dishes,
Zane, Lila, and Simon burst through the back door. “Who's with Trudy?” Shani asked.

“Monika's over,” Lila answered. “A driver brought her and Jenny early this morning.”

“Is your dad at work?”

Lila shook her head. “He was vaccinating the calves. We were all helping, but he's done now. Reuben came to help too.”

“Is Monika going home?”

“I don't think so,” Lila said. “Jenny's helping her make a snack. Daniel stayed back with them.” Rose giggled.

“I'll go down and say hello.” Shani had spent the morning in sweats and a T-shirt, but the day was so nice she decided to put on a skirt and blouse. She packed the diaper bag and then decided to drive instead of walking with the children. That would give her more time, just in case Monika wasn't going to be around much longer.

When she knocked on the Lehmans' back door, Monika opened it quickly, a smile spreading across her face. “I was hoping you'd stop by.” She took Adam from her immediately. “How's the little man?” she cooed at him.

He smiled and waved his arms around.

“Where's Trudy?” Shani asked.

“Daniel and Jenny took her out to the swing.”

Tim had put a tire swing in the oak tree along the side of the house just last week. It seemed a good sign that he was thinking about the children, about them having some fun.

Monika looked up at Shani. “Today's the day, right?”

Shani nodded.

“Did Joel go?”

Shani nodded again.

“I'm just sick,” Monika said, sitting down on a kitchen chair and cradling the baby. “I thought I could have more influence on Tim, but he's the most stubborn person I know. You should be there with Eve. So should Tim.”

“How could he be?”

“What do you mean?”

“Wouldn't he be . . . excommunicated? Is that it?”

Monika wrinkled her nose. “Shunned?”

That was the word she'd been looking for. Eve said she'd been shunned. Gideon had sent her a formal letter the month before, stating she'd “mocked the church” and “acted in a prideful way” by leaving her home, dressing in an immodest manner, learning to drive, and furthering her education. Eve said it was a formality she expected, and she didn't hold it against Gideon. Not at all.

“Yes,
shunned
,” Shani said. “That's the word.”

“Who told you he'd be shunned?”

Shani tilted her head. Eve hadn't. And Tim hadn't either. “I guess I just assumed that was the reason Tim wouldn't go—besides, you know . . .” She wrinkled her nose. “Besides the fact that he's really mad at Eve.”

A disgusted expression passed over Monika's face. “All of us have loved ones who have left. I have two brothers who did. One before he joined the church and one after. I still have a relationship with both of them. And attended both of their weddings. No one ever said anything to me about it.”

“Really?”

Monika nodded.

Shani knew the rules varied from district to district. “So, theoretically, Tim could go? As far as your group is concerned?”

Monika nodded again.

“I see,” Shani said. “Where is he?”

“Out in the barn,” Monika answered.

Shani started toward the door. She had a skirt on and sandals. Her blouse was still clean. She looked presentable for a wedding. And Adam would be fine in his baby shorts and T-shirt.

Monika stood. “He won't go.”

Shani stopped, her hand on the knob. “I'm still going to ask.”

“If he doesn't, you should.”

“Eve doesn't want me to. She thinks it'll make Tim more likely to reject us . . .”

Monika swayed with the baby. “The sooner Tim Lehman gets over himself the better.”

“I guess I'll decide after I talk to him,” Shani said. She didn't want to jeopardize her relationship with his kids—but she didn't want to miss out on the most important day of Eve and Charlie's life together either.