Amongst The Flames: A Contemporary Christian Romance (Embers and Ashes Book 1) (12 page)

My lips tightened and tears welled in my eyes as the support beam in the room above shifted again, sprinkling soot down onto our heads.

“Get out of here!” He yelled as loud as he could.

Turning around, I scooped up the girl into my arms and I rushed out of the room. Getting out the front door just as the beam gave way and collapsing onto Tom, I could feel my throat clench shut. I brought the girl out to her mother, and then I turned to the fire and dropped to my knees in tears. Ripping my helmet and mask off, I lost all control of my emotions as the fire continued to burn and the black smoke billowed upwards into the sky.

Captain Hinley, Rick, and Kane all rushed over to me in what felt like slow motion as I wept. Tom might have been a mean-spirited man, but I never wanted him to die. And as I grieved, the pain inside worsened as I thought of Megan and her losing her father like I did only four years ago. I couldn’t bear the pain of knowing the turmoil she was about to endure. And there was no way of stopping it.

A
calm and peaceful night sky lingered above my head as I sat on my front porch waiting for my taxi to pick me up later that same day. I was flying out to Seattle to go see Megan and break the news to her and Amanda. My world had flipped upside down with Megan leaving me and now backwards with my Captain and father-in-law passing. Yet the quietness of Benton Avenue didn’t give off any such impression. The world around me was fine and even peaceful, but inside a storm was raging on. How was I going to break the news to Megan that her father died? I hadn’t the slightest clue.

All my ill feelings toward Tom had evaporated. I was eternally grateful for the conversation I just had with him earlier in the shift. He acted like a decent human being to me for the first time since I married his daughter. I didn’t care if it was only because of his worry about his kids, I was happy to have had the talk.

As I prayed on the bench outside my house that evening, Micah pulled up alongside the curb. He shut off his car and made his way up the sidewalk to my porch.

He shook his head as tears streamed down his cheeks. I stood up and met him at the edge of my porch for a hug. He patted my back on release and then wiped his eyes and sniffed as he asked, “How’d Megan take it?”

I sighed, wiping my own eyes and I said, “My taxi will be here soon, I’m flying there to break the news to her and Amanda, tomorrow.”

“She doesn’t know?” Micah asked as we walked over to the bench and sat down.

I shook my head and dropped my face into my palms. Running my fingers through my hair, I looked over at Micah and said with broken words, “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to her… so I delayed it.”

Micah set his hand on the back of my leather jacket and patted me. “I’m so sorry… I don’t know about not telling her, man. You should really call her.”

I looked over at him and shook my head as I spoke, “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do…” I sniffed and caught myself before letting out another cry, “I don’t want to break her heart and this is going to do it. I can’t break it over the phone. I won’t.”

“The Lord is with you, Cole. Every step you take, don’t forget that,” Micah said as he looked out into the darkness that filled the street. “I knew Sherwood for over a decade, and he was a firefighter for over three… It’s going to be a difficult loss for this whole city.”

I wiped my eyes as I sat up straighter and took a deep breath. “I know.” Pausing for a moment, I recalled Micah’s comment about God. “Micah…” He looked over at me. “Where was God this morning when Tom was pinned under that beam?”

He shook his head as he brought his hands together. “I don’t know man. But God didn’t kill him. It was just Tom’s time to go. These things happen. People are born and people die; that’s part of life.”

“Not to Sherwood.”

“Sherwood died doing what he loved, Brother.”

My phone began ringing in my hand. It was Cindy. Seeing Tom’s wife’s name flash across my screen caused more tears to come. I felt so emotional, so vulnerable and so downright uncomfortable. I wanted to die. This emotional wreck wasn’t me. I was Cole Taylor, the hotshot fireman who was invincible. Not this wussy that gets injured and cries a bunch. “I can’t talk to her,” I said exasperated. “I am so sick of crying today.”

“Crying is normal, even for us guys sometimes. Remember what I said? Jesus wept. Real men cry, Brother. As far as talking to your mother-in-law, you have to walk through that door, even if you don’t want to.” Micah stood up as the taxi’s headlights came into view. “Talk to her,” he said as he walked off my porch steps and down to the curb where his car was parked.

Sliding to answer the call, I brought it to my ear as tears streamed down my cheek. “Hello?” I squeezed out as I stood up and grabbed my suitcase from next to the bench.

There was nothing but crying on the other end of the phone as I made my way out to the taxi and got in. My throat felt clamped. Each sniffle from Cindy felt like my throat was closing more. Then, she finally was able to speak.

“Did you talk to Megan?”

“Not yet…” I said. I covered the phone and said to the cab driver, “I’m ready.”

“Airport, right?” he asked, looking in the rearview mirror at me.

I nodded.

Cindy broke down again. “She has to know, Cole. She and Amanda have to find out about their dad. I was fine with you being the one to tell her, but it happened this morning and you still haven’t called!”

I took a deep breath in and cleared my mind. “It’s okay, Cindy. I’m in a cab heading to the airport now. I’m flying out to break the news to them.”

“Oh, that’s good of you… I’m sorry I yelled at you… I’m just so distraught.”

“I understand,” I replied softly.

“Thank you for going out there. I would have joined you but I have preparations I have to make here in Spokane.”

“I know, and that’s why I didn’t bother asking. We will get through this Cindy, all of us, together. I’ll bring your girls home.”

She broke down again. “I will talk to you later…” she said sobbing.

Hanging up with Cindy, I stared out the window at the lights of the city as they played against the backdrop of the night sky. The task ahead wasn’t going to be easy and I knew I needed God more than ever. I had to remain strong, and I knew God was the only One who was going to make that happen.

T
ossing and turning for most of the night in my hotel room in Seattle, I gave up on sleep at about six o’clock that next morning. I pulled a sweater out of my duffle bag and put it on. Snatching my Bible off the nightstand next to my bed, I went out onto the balcony that overlooked the city of Seattle. Taking a deep breath in, I took in the city. The calm early morning traffic below my balcony was peaceful enough that I should be able to get a couple chapters of reading in before I hit the shower.

Faint sirens suddenly sounded in the distance and created a longing inside of me for my station back home. They were all grieving over the loss of Tom, just like I was, and Megan was about to be in a couple hours. Last night when I stepped off the plane at about midnight, I discovered a voicemail on my phone from the Chief. His voice was heavy and dripped with sorrow as he gave me an update on the rest of the station. He was able to pull a few favors and got the whole crew time off to grieve. The below average fire season on the outskirts of Spokane allowed for guys out in Chattaroy and Nine Mile Falls stations to come cover shifts.

After the sirens faded, I opened up my Bible. I was still lugging around the keepsake one I found on the bookcase that pivotal day I made a change in my life. The worn out leather that kept the brittle pages together reminded me of how important God’s word truly is to his followers. I didn’t want to go back to my old Bible that still had pages that were stuck together.

With the scriptures laid open, I bowed my head and I said a prayer to God. For Megan, Cindy, Amanda, and all firemen across the grief-stricken city. Then I prayed for myself, that God would strengthen me and provide me with the words needed to speak with my wife. Finishing my prayer, I started in on my reading for the morning that suited the events lately perfectly, James one.

Checking out of the hotel later that morning, I hailed a cab to take me out to Everett, where Amanda lived. During the ride, I prepared for the conversation I would have when I saw Megan after such a long separation. I was nervous about seeing her again under such tragic circumstances. Again and again, I mentally rehearsed what I would say to her. Line after line I tried to piece together an understanding of how to come across to her. Then, I reminded myself of what Micah said about God being with me and the prayer I made back at the hotel about God giving me the words to speak.

I gave it to God through prayer, and then I peered out my window as we sped along the Seattle freeway up to Everett. I saw a maroon-colored van with a family inside for what I presumed to be some sort of family vacation. I made this judgment by the crammed suitcases in the back and the teenager sleeping with headphones over his ears. He was drooling on a pillow that was pressed up against the window. I grinned as I recalled similar vacations as a child. As my cab driver sped up, I could see into the passenger seat up front and I saw a woman sobbing as she read a pamphlet of some sort. I was curious why she was crying, so I leaned closer to the window for a peek at the brochure. It was a funeral brochure. Relaxing back into my seat in the cab, I realized something that never had occurred to me prior to that moment. Every person in the world, even the driver in the front seat of my taxi, has a life going on that other people don’t know about. I knew other people had lives… but I never thought about how things could look different than they actually were. Just like the family in the van next to my cab.

“Sir,” I said, knocking on the dividing window between me and the gentleman up front.

“Yes?” He said with a Spanish accent over his shoulder.

“How are you?”

The man looked to be confused as he stared into his rearview mirror at me. I wondered for a moment if he didn’t quite understand English, but then he responded. “I find out that my little girl is getting married. She in France.”

“Wow,” I replied. “So you are going to be a father-in-law? Congratulations!”

He shook his head as he looked in the mirror at me again. “I tell her it mistake tonight! Me mad!”

I laughed as I thought it was a joke, but I knew it wasn’t when his eyebrows furrowed.

“She can’t live in France! Me and her mother come to Merica to be free! She be too far away right there! In France!”

I nodded. “I have two little boys that I couldn’t imagine being that far away from.”

“Yes? How old you boys?”

“Two and three,” I replied. “One’s turning four next month.”

Looking in the mirror, I saw him shaking his head. “Bad ages… those ages!”

I let out a laugh and nodded. “They are a treat, that’s for sure!” I replied.

He nodded and joined me in the laugh before getting serious again. “Important time in life, those ages. That when they learn good and bad. Right and wrong.”

I nodded. “Oh hey, by the way, I didn’t introduce myself, I’m Cole Taylor.”

He pointed back at the picture and information on the window that separated us. He said with his thick Spanish accent, “Javier Sanchez. Nice to meet you, Cole Taylor.”

“Nice to meet you, Javier.”

That conversation with Javier lasted all the way through the morning rush hour traffic on the way up to Everett. We even got stuck behind a twenty car pileup, but we didn’t care. We were too enthralled with the lively conversation we had going between us. I was absolutely blown away at how similar the struggles were between our different cultures. During that cab ride, I learned he was working two jobs to finance his little girl’s dream to go to France for the summer. And I told him about what had happened with Tom dying and even Megan and my marriage problems. It was just so comfortable to talk to the guy. And I’ll never forget the piece of advice that I’ll cherish for the rest of the days of my life. I was about to get out of the car at Amanda’s house when he turned and said with that Spanish accent I came to appreciate on the car ride, “Cole.”

I turned back to him and smiled as I said, “Yeah, Javier?”

“You win, she win or you lose, she lose… there is nothing else.”

I kept smiling and said, “Thanks.” Shutting the door, he took off from the curb as I turned around to Amanda’s house.

The light and happy feeling I had in my soul pulled away with Javier’s cab. And what remained was the cold reality I had been facing for about twenty-four hours now. To break the news to my wife. The atmosphere out on the sidewalk in front of Amanda’s sort of matched the sky that morning. Dark and dreary. Seeing Javier’s taillights whip around the corner and out of sight, I sighed as I longed for the easy distraction our conversation provided on the way up here from Seattle.

Amanda’s house was a depressing bluish-green, two stories in height and set on a grassy slope. A couple of busted cement steps with grass growing through the cracks led up into her yard, which looked to have not been mowed in a few weeks. That cracked cement continued itself right up to the front porch. Taking one last deep breath, I grabbed my suitcase from the sidewalk and made my way up to the house.

Giving the door a couple of firm knocks, I set my suitcase down, straightened out my leather jacket and adjusted my footing as I waited for someone to answer. The door flung open and Megan was standing right there. It had been such a long time without seeing her; it sort of felt surreal to be standing right in front of her. She looked stunningly beautiful regardless of the thrashed hair and pieces of Mac n’ Cheese I could see that solidified themselves to a few of the strands of her hair. I just smiled.

“What are you doing here, Cole?” she demanded as one hand held onto the door and the other rested alongside the doorframe.

“I need to talk to you,” I insisted, trying to keep my eyes on hers and not on that gorgeous figure of hers that I missed. This wasn’t a time to get caught checking her out. It was a delicate situation that had to be handled in a way that communicated love and gentleness like I hadn’t ever shown before.

“I’ve been letting you talk to the boys,” she said as she sighed heavily shaking her head. “I don’t get why you left your job and took more time off to come to Seattle…”

“Well… It’s kind of a unique situation, love,” I said.

And for a moment I saw the corner of her lip come up as if she was about to smile but then she pulled it back. “You can’t call me that,” she said, standing a little bit straighter as she whipped her hair behind her shoulder.

My boys came screaming down the hallway to the front door, pushing past their mother. “Daddy!” Justin shouted out clear as day as he climbed up one of my legs. Bradley was giggling as he latched onto my other leg and sat on my foot.

My heart swelled with joy at the sight of them. Bringing them both up into my arms, I took a step back and said, “I missed you two so much!”

“Em miss you da,” Bradley said, looking back inside as he spoke.

Bradley then leaned in and kissed my cheek, Justin saw and followed suit. “Well, come in I guess,” Megan said as she let her hand that was holding the door fall away. Setting the boys down, I grabbed my suitcase and stepped in. “You brought your suitcase here?” she asked.

“I can explain. Is Amanda here?” I asked, trying to peek past Megan down the hall and into the kitchen as I set my suitcase down.

She moved to block my eyes, she asked, “Why? She’s up in the shower. What’s going on, Cole? Please just tell me. My imagination will get the better of me if you don’t just tell me.”

Glancing up the stairs where I knew the bathroom was, I continued into the kitchen past Megan. She followed closely behind me. “Have a seat, babe,” I said, looking over at the chairs around the kitchen table.

She and I sat down at the table and the boys tried to climb my legs to get up to me. “Hey boys,” I said to them. They both looked up into my eyes as they waited for me to continue. “Could you go play for a little bit? Your mom and I need to talk.”

Bradley and Justin clenched onto me tighter and it melted my heart. “Just for a little bit, okay?” I said to them.

“Boys! Go play!” Megan said to them.

They cried a little and made their way out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Turning my sights back to my wife, I placed my hand on top of hers that was lying relaxed on the table. Her eyes looked worried.

“What is it, Cole?”

I took my other hand and placed it onto her arm. Her soft skin reminded me of how delicate she truly was by nature. I scooted my seat closer to her.

“What’s going on?” she demanded, pulling her hand and arm out quickly from my touch as she stood up.

I stood up to meet her eye level. Placing my hands softly onto the sides of her arms, I looked her in the eyes and said, “It’s about your Dad…” My eyes instantly began watering and my lip trembled as I watched my beautiful rose fall apart. I was failing to keep it together. I prayed quickly.

Please God, don’t let me break down in front of her. It’ll only make things worse! Please!

She began crying as she shook her head. “How bad is it?” she asked as she patted her eyes with a tissue from the table. “Is he paralyzed or something? Is that why you flew out here and didn’t just call?”

My eyes began watering more as I realized she couldn’t even fathom the thought of her dad dying. I rubbed her arms a little bit and then it clicked for Megan.

“He’s not… dead, right?” she asked, seeming to already know the answer.

I came in closer.

She leaned her head against my chest and began crying uncontrollably, as she grabbed onto my shirt under my jacket. I placed my arms around Megan and put one hand up on her hair, the other on her back and began rubbing softly. “It’s going to be okay, Honey… I’m here for you.”

After a few minutes of her wetting my jacket and shirt while I held her, she pulled back and wiped her eyes with another tissue at the table before she took a seat. I joined her in the chair across the table and she asked, “So what happened?”

“Are you sure you want to know the details right now?” I asked, placing a hand on hers.

She took three deep nods before nodding quickly.

A teary-eyed Amanda came into the kitchen at that point and pulled a seat up next to Megan, giving her a hug. She must have been listening in from around the corner, I thought as I watched them both cry together for a few more minutes before they directed their attention back to me.

“So, there was a fire…” I began to say.