An Affair of Honor (Rebel Hearts Book 2) (30 page)

“I am not increasing,” Matilda whispered as she resumed her work, tidying pots and shovels away into the workbench he’d had made especially for her use.

“Good. I confess to being entirely selfish. I want you all to myself for now.”

She said nothing to that. “Did you see your friends too?”

“Yes, Mitchell and Cobb. We had dinner and drinks at the club the first night I was away. Both send their regards.”

She nodded, but then her face fell. “You went to the club?”

“Yes. Grandfather pulled some strings and arranged a membership at White’s.”

Her breath whooshed out of her lungs suddenly. She rubbed her temple. “Are you happy with what I’ve done with the house so far? Do you approve?”

“What I have seen of it, yes.” He pursed his lips, wondering what he’d done. “Now you must come with me. You have a visitor waiting to meet you.”

She glanced down at her gown. “I’m not dressed for guests.”

“You are perfect, as always, for this. Vicar will approve of my urgency and will not care what gown you are wearing.”

She stared at him for a very long time. “I did not know you’d had time to attend services here too.”

“Not that kind of vicar.” He kissed her cheek. “Come and meet him.”

William took her hand and brought her toward the front door. Before they had reached their destination, however, he heard whimpering. “Ah, Vicar has awakened.”

The basket wobbled wildly.

“What is that?”

“Our dog. He was old enough to come home to you.”

Matilda knelt on the ground and unlatched the heavy wicker basket. The dog, who’d thankfully slept most of the journey, burst out and proceeded to jump all over Matilda as if he remembered meeting her before.

All of a sudden, Matilda burst out crying and tried to hide her emotions from him. She hugged the squirming animal tightly to her chest. “He’s just as I remember him, but why call him Vicar?”

“You said his little white spot at his throat reminded you of a catholic priest’s robes. If you don’t care for the name, it can be changed.” William knelt at her side and patted the dog too. “He’s had some training, but a little more would be a good idea.”

“I will. I’ll look after him and you’ll never know he’s here, I promise.”

Her promise startled him. “Why would I not want to know he’s here? That was the point of having a dog again. We’ll both have company.”

“But you like your peace.”

“But not utter silence, Matilda. Dogs bark, our children will cry, and my wife has the most beautiful voice. I missed hearing you while I was away.” He lifted her face to his as she sniffed back tears. “Darling, what is wrong? Don’t ever hide your feelings from me.”

“I’m sorry.”

He took in her distress and pressed his head to hers. “Matilda, do you have any idea how much I love you? I would do anything to make you happy.”

Her eyes darted to his, wide and full of surprise. “You love me?”

“Of course I do.” Her lips parted and drew back in shock. “How can you not know that you’ve claimed my heart completely?”

Her eyes widened further, as if she did not trust his claim. “I have?”

He nodded quickly. “I spent the entire time I was in London gushing about my incredible wife to anyone who would listen. Cobb left dinner at Whites Club in a sulk, and Mitchell is probably still laughing at my impatience to return to you. I told Miss Chudleigh that you might be setting up our nursery because one day, eventually, I hope we are blessed with children.”

“Oh,” she whispered.

“I’ve loved you for so long and never could put my feelings into words.” He peered deep into her eyes, trying to show the depths of his devotion. “I wanted you, a servant in my home, when I should have known better. I exposed you to my desires without warning you that I’m not like other men. I wanted you so badly at times that I was jealous whenever you smiled at others.”

“I wanted you too.”

“No, you didn’t. Not in the beginning.” He held her face, brushing his thumb across her cheek. “I wanted so much to stay away from you once and I made that ridiculous bargain, intending to keep you safe. I tried to convince myself I could keep you at a distance and let you go later. But leaving you alone is impossible for me. I want you to be my wife, Matilda.”

Her lashes fluttered, and then she smiled so warmly she lit up the room with her happiness. “I am already your wife, William.”

“You are my best friend. The one person I can share my hopes and dreams with. You drive away my nightmares with your touch; you share my enjoyment of passion without ever making me feel I am wrong.”

“What we do could never be wrong.”

He kissed her cheek, pushed the dog aside, and held her there on the floor. “You got under my skin from the moment we met. But because I had blundered so badly I had to start all over again.” He brought her hand to his mouth and caressed her knuckles with his lips. “I am not an easy man to live with, but you found it in your heart to bear with me.”

“I cannot imagine ever being afraid of you again.”

At a sound behind them, he caught her elbow and helped her stand. “Dawson, come and take the dog outside for a short walk. Teach him how to fetch a stick or something.”

“Yes, Captain.” Dawson rushed in, snatched up the dog, and hurried away.

“That will teach him for listening into our private conversations again. We need to get him a woman of his own to worry over.”

Matilda laughed. “It is too early to be sure, but that matter might be solved soon if all goes well. I have detected a flicker of mutual interest between our new housekeeper and butler.”

“Good.” He steered her toward the steps that led upstairs to their bedroom. “Forgive my haste. It’s been a very lonely week.”

“I missed you too.” She leaned against him with a deep sigh. “But when will you tell me all your secrets?”

“Soon.” He brought his hand down on her rear hard. Muted by her gown, it wasn’t at all a satisfying slap for either of them. Once on the upper level, he caught her hips and directed her toward their bedchamber at speed. He’d show her the depths of his desire one day, but not when he was desperate to be inside her.

She glanced at him shyly. “You love me?”

“Now and forever.”

Epilogue

Christmas, 1815

Newberry Park

Matilda was overwhelmed. Too much food. Too much laughter. Too much acceptance.

A thing she’d never expected when she’d agreed to marry William.

She leaned a little to the side, resting against the well-padded arm of a chaise in the white drawing room of Newberry Park while she petted her sleepy dog’s head. She was glad Vicar was finally still. He’d spent the whole of the day either chasing or running from the horde of angry cats that populated the Duke of Newberry’s country estate.

It was a miracle, in her opinion, that she’d not been scolded for the young pup’s antics. Everyone, though, seemed to find the great chases hysterically funny. Everyone seemed to accept her presence. Even Lord George Ford had wished her a merry Christmas.

A pair of silver eyes regarded them belligerently from under a nearby chaise. “He is asleep,” Matilda promised the hissing black cat.

“Oh, don’t worry about Horace,” Lady Sally Hastings, William’s cousin, assured her. “He’s just annoyed he’s missed out on all of tonight’s table scraps.”

“I can’t believe how much Vicar has been eating.”

“The dog and his master too.” Sally’s eyes slipped to William where he stood in talks with his aunt. An amused smile turned her lips up. “It is good to see my cousin has not lost his competitive nature.”

Matilda winced. William had both surprised and worried her this past week. He was quite different around his family. He laughed more. He talked more and dragged her into everything eventually. “He’s happy.”

“No one can miss that he is,” Sally assured her. “Happy Christmas, Matilda. I’m glad you could be with us this year.”

“To you too.”

She sauntered away as William dropped into the space at her side. “Are you warm enough, darling?”

“Yes, Will,” she promised. On her lap, a thick woolen blanket covered her legs to ward off the chill of any draft. All the Ford women had their own, which meant she must have one too. She had been supplied with a nip of warm rum and a plate of shortbread to nibble on. Matilda had never experienced a Christmas like this, not even when her father had lived.

She’d never imagined being as included as she’d been this past week.

“I think I ate too much,” William complained, pressing his hand to his belly and groaning.

She glanced at him but smiled. “Well, what do you expect when you keep sneaking extra helpings of the plum pudding?”

“To win.” He burped into his hand and then apologized profusely. “I had to keep up with Hastings.”

She glanced across the room. Mr. Hastings and Sally were currently kissing beneath mistletoe. The pair had married months ago and still appeared inseparable and very happy together too. “He was trying to impress his wife and seems to have succeeded.”

“I can understand that desire.” William winked. “But I beat him, I’m sure.”

“Yes, William. I’m sure you taught him a lesson he’ll soon not forget.” She smiled fondly at her husband. William’s playful streak was a rare commodity, and she cherished each and every glimpse into his lighter soul. “What happens next?”

The family Christmas gathering was quite a bit more involved than she’d first imagined. After a communal breakfast, they had taken to sleighs and delivered gifts to all the tenants of Newberry Park. William, despite his naval career, was well known at Newberry, and he’d greeted many of the farmers with such joy in his eyes he was breathtaking. He’d introduced her to everyone and remained with his arm around her back, supporting her during the lengthy conversations.

“Next we all troop outside carrying torches, light the bonfire, and watch it burn.”

“All of us?”

“Perhaps not Aunt Pen this year. She was just complaining of the cold and plans to retire shortly.”

Matilda fingered her blanket. “I should give her my blanket before we go out.”

“That would be very kind of you, but I was hoping you would take it with us. It is very cold outside tonight, and I had plans to wrap us both in it.”

“It’s not a very large blanket, William.”

“Large enough for me to wrap my arms about you and huddle together under it while we watch the fire burn. And after a while I had hoped to slip away with you. Somewhere private where we might be ourselves.”

A blush heated her cheeks and she squirmed. She had plans for the night that required them to remain indoors. Matilda just hadn’t told him yet. She had finally figured out her husband’s secret, the one thing he dared not reveal about his desires. She’d known he was holding back but was rather astonished it had taken her so long to figure him out. “I’d like that, but can we stay indoors if I promise to be very quiet?”

“You’re hardly ever quiet these days,” he complained without real disapproval in his tone. It had been a week since he’d laid a hand to her bottom, and she missed the warmth and comfort such touches inspired. He glanced at her quickly, considering her request with the gravity it deserved. They would have some explaining to do if they were overheard. “Perhaps the bonfire can wait.”

“Thank you.”

“Let me take Vicar to Dawson for the night, and then we can make an escape.”

It didn’t take William long to dispatch Vicar to a secure room for the night. When everyone began talking loudly about going out, they slipped from the room hand in hand. The cold of the hall almost took Matilda’s breath away. Although she was bundled up in her blanket, the chill in the air made her nose burn and she hugged the fabric closer to her skin. William led her firmly away from the white drawing room, and Matilda pulled him up the stairs. “I have a Christmas gift for you in our rooms.”

“You do?”

Matilda nodded. It had taken all her cunning to hide his presents in her luggage and not have them discovered. “It is warm there. Come and let me show you.”

They hurried toward their guest bedchamber as voices burst out laughing below and doors clattered shut. Matilda was breathless with anticipation for the surprise she was about to reveal and quickly slipped into the bedchamber assigned to them on their arrival.

“Darling.” His kiss was fierce and consuming as he pressed her against the door. Matilda flicked the lock when they drew apart a few moments later. “Billy.”

“That’s my Mattie, always seeking the fastest way to please us both.” He kissed her some more, but they both were aware that time was short and privacy paramount. He turned her around and placed his hand at the back of her neck. “You are a terrible tease, my love.”

She shivered as he steered her toward the huge four-poster bed. “Then punish me, Billy.”

She had already laid out his present. A mask, red silk strips of cloth, riding crop, and an unworn snowy white cravat cloth of his waited.

His fingers tightened on her neck. “Matilda?”