An Amish Christmas (13 page)

He waited for her outside. She raised her shawl over her hair against the chill night air. A sliver of moon low in the west illuminated the nighttime farm. The combination of moonlight on snow gave her just enough light to see John’s face.

Suddenly, she was beset with doubts. Had she misunderstood him earlier today? She had been so shocked by his words that she hadn’t been able to demand an explanation. The moonlit setting and her racing heart were making it difficult to broach the subject.

“Is there something you need, Karen?”

The hint of humor in his voice pushed aside her reservations. If he had been toying with her she wasn’t amused. “You can’t make a statement like you did in the store and then walk away without an explanation.”

“You mean when I said I wanted you in my future? I truly meant that.”

There it was again, that softness in his tone that made her knees weak and sent the blood humming through her veins. She folded her arms tightly across her chest
and walked away from the house. John fell into step beside her.

A dozen thoughts warred inside her brain. She cared for John so much, but her love of God and her family could not be brushed aside easily. She hardened her heart against the hurt she was about to cause him.

He was close beside her, but not touching her. They left the yard and walked side by side down the lane. The snow-covered fields reflected the moonlight with a gray-white glow. Overhead, the stars sparkled in the inky blackness. The whole world lay hushed except for the crunch of their footsteps on the frosty snow.

Finally, she said, “What you want is not possible, John.”

“Because I am not Amish?”

“Yes.”

“What if I became Amish? What if I joined your faith? Would there be a chance for us, then?”

“Why would you do this?”

“Because God brought me to this place for a reason. All around me are simple hardworking people who devote every day to the glory of God. Surly you don’t think I’m here by chance?”

“I do not.”

“You and your family have shown me that religion isn’t about Sunday services. It’s about doing what God has instructed us to do in the Bible. I’m serious, Karen. I want to embrace a new life. I can do that here. It feels right. If you are the woman who can help me do that, then I will be doubly blessed.”

She stopped and faced him. His gaze, intense and piercing, never wavered. Was it possible he could join her faith? It wouldn’t be easy. What if he did manage to
do it and then his memory came back to him? Would he want to stay? There was no way to be certain.

“What are you asking of me, John?”

“For now, acceptance is all I ask.”

No promises, no bold talk of overpowering love. She pondered what he asked and realized it was something she could do. “All right. I accept that you have a strong desire to learn about my faith and to become one of us.”

“Thank you. How do you think your family will feel about it?”

After a second, she shook her head. “Skeptical.”

“I can always trust you to tell me the truth.”

Karen knew that wasn’t true. If it were, she would be telling him how firmly he was planted in her heart and mind and how much she longed to find a way to be with him in every sense. Yet a prickle of doubt about his motives could not be silenced by her own desires.

It had only been a month and a half since she found him on the road. It was too soon. It was too soon to know her own heart and too soon for him to know his.

He tipped his head toward the house. “We should get back. I don’t want you to get sick, with Christmas less than three weeks away.”

“
Ja,
I have much to do.” And much to think about.

On Saturday, John went out to continue working with the horses. He was surprised but happy to find Jacob waiting inside the barn to help him. John was grateful for a chance to spend some one-on-one time with the lad.

Together they continued training Jenny and One-Way. By now, both young horses accepted their harnesses without a problem and could be hitched and unhitched
from a cart and driven short distances. The young filly proved more temperamental than the colt, but both of them were progressing well.

After putting One-Way through his paces out on a narrow dirt-packed road that circled the inside of the pasture, John drove him back to the barn where Jacob waited to take Jenny out next. John drew the colt to a halt and looked at Jacob. “What do you think about taking this fellow out on the highway?”

Looking pleased to have his opinion consulted, Jacob said, “He’s spent plenty of time tethered near the road to get used to traffic. It doesn’t seem to bother him anymore.
Ja,
I think he is ready.”

John offered the reins. “Would you mind driving him? You’ve got more experience and more skill than I do. I’ve worn him out this morning. I think he’ll behave, but I’d like to ride along to see how he does.”

Jacob’s slender chest puffed out at the compliment. He quickly climbed into the two-wheeled cart beside John and turned the horse around. John jumped out to open the gate and close it behind them, then resumed his seat.

In the front yard a buggy sat in front of the barn. Through the open door John saw Eli wearing a heavy leather apron as he examined the hoof of a palomino pony. Reuben Beachy stood beside Eli watching him work. He caught sight of John and waved. John waved back, happy to know he had at least one friend outside of the Imhoff family.

John asked Jacob, “When did your father start shoeing horses again?”

“He announced last night that he thought his arm was strong enough to try it.”

“I’m glad for him.”

“
Ja,
he has missed it.”

“Do you plan to be a farrier, too?”

“Maybe. I’m strong enough.” Jacob scowled at John, daring him to disagree.

“I think a man can do anything he puts his mind to. It isn’t always about being the strongest.”

“Karen thinks I can’t do it,” Jacob admitted.

“Karen worries about you, that’s all. She will come around if that is what you really want to do.”

“Maybe.” The boy’s tone carried a heavy dose of doubt. Before John could explore the subject further, they reached the highway. Since it was Saturday, John knew there would be less traffic on the road, but he still wasn’t sure how One-Way would handle the new situation.

The horse took to the roadway as if he’d been doing it all his life. Even a passing car didn’t disturb him.

John said, “It seems he has inherited his mother’s calm nature as well as his father’s speed. It’s a good combination. Someone is going to be very happy with this colt.”

Jacob urged the horse to pick up his pace. “I’d love to see how fast he can go.”

John laid a hand on the boy’s arm. “Me, too, but this isn’t the time or place for it.”

The boy shot John a sour look but pulled the horse back. After two miles, John said, “I think this is good. Let’s take him home.”

As they slowed to turn around, an open buggy drawn by a high-stepping trotter came down the road, and One-Way whinnied a greeting. The Amish teenager driving the other vehicle drew to a halt. “
Guder mariye,
Jacob,” he called out.

“Hello, Henry.” Jacob replied brightly. It was easy to read the hero-worship on his face.

John recognized the young man as one of Bishop Zook’s sons. He’d seen Jacob hanging out with him and several older boys at the wedding and in town after school.

“Is this Eli’s racehorse I’ve been hearing about?” Henry cast a critical eye over the colt. “
Ja,
it is.” Jacob couldn’t disguise the pride in his voice.

Henry turned his attention to John. “Are you the
dumm kopf
—the
Englischer
who can’t remember his own name?

T
he teenager’s mocking tone caught John completely by surprise. He’d met with nothing but sympathy and kindness among the Amish. He was unprepared for ridicule.

Henry’s smile turned snide. “Your horse doesn’t look all that fast, Jacob. I think my Dobby could beat him running on three legs.”

Jacob rose to the challenge. “I don’t think so.”

“Too bad we can’t find out.” With a laugh, Henry slapped his lines hard on the back of his sweaty horse and headed down the road at a breakneck pace.

John said, “Your friend isn’t a very good judge of horseflesh.” He wasn’t kind, either.

Urging One-Way toward home, Jacob said, “Henry was just kidding.”

John didn’t believe that for a minute. “Is Henry a good friend of yours?”

“Sure. I’m his buddy.”

“He seems quite a bit older than you.”

“Henry is eighteen, but he doesn’t mind if I hang out with him. He knows how to have fun. He has a swell radio in his buggy.”

“I thought listening to the radio was frowned upon as worldly.”

“Just because a bunch of old geezers don’t like modern music that doesn’t make it wrong. Besides, we are in our
rumspringa.
We get to do those kinds of things.”

“Aren’t you too young for your
rumspringa?
”

“Henry says I’m not.”

“He likes to race, doesn’t he?”

“Sometimes.” John could feel Jacob’s retreat.

The whole situation didn’t sit well with John, but what could he do? He was finally making some headway in getting to know Jacob. If he told Karen or Eli his vague suspicions that Jacob was involved in illicit buggy racing he would be guilty of betraying the boy’s confidences.

What choice did that leave him? The only thing he could do was keep a watchful eye on Jacob.

On Sunday morning John joined the family in the buggy as they were getting ready to leave for church services. He looked forward to the day although it was barely six o’clock. The service would be at the home of a family some fifteen miles away. Eli had gone ahead with the bench wagon a half hour earlier.

John squeezed into the backseat between Noah and Jacob. Karen rode up front with Anna. When they were on their way, John found the courage to ask, “What can I expect today?”

“To be bored stiff,” Jacob answered under his breath.

A sharp look from Karen proved he’d been overheard. She said, “Worship begins at about eight o’clock and it usually lasts until after eleven. Women are seated in one area, and men in another.”

“Three hours on a backless bench?” John winced. What had he gotten himself into?

Karen continued. “Hymns are sung from the
Ausbund,
a special hymnal used by us. The songs were written by martyrs for our faith over four hundred years ago.”

“So, no English songs I can sing along with?”

“
Nee.
There will be two preachers along with Bishop Zook at the service. They will take turns preaching. The first sermon begins about eight-thirty. It will be in Pennsylvania Dutch. Scriptures are read in High German. Did you bring your English Bible so you can follow along?”

He patted his coat pocket. “Yes, I did.”

The trip was long and tiring, and everyone was glad to get out when they finally arrived at the service site. A group of men in charge of unhitching the buggies and taking the horses into the barn quickly went to work to settle Molly after her long trip.

John felt awkward joining the men as they began to file into the house, but Eli was there already and Reuben came over to quickly make John feel welcome. A long row of black hats lined the porch wall. John added his to the end and took a moment to wonder how he would find it again out of the seventy or so hanging there.

Noah tugged John’s coat. “Don’t worry, I’ll poke you if you start to fall asleep.”

“Gee, thanks.”

The benches were as hard as John feared, but when the hymns began he was mesmerized by the simple beauty and power of the singing. There was no organ or musical instrument of any kind. The profoundly moving and mournful sound was created by more than a hundred people packed into the lower rooms of the house.

He couldn’t follow the preaching, but he read and
studied the passages Eli pointed out to him. In his own way he felt connected to the outpouring of faith around him.

After an hour, he felt Noah slump against him. Looking down, he saw the boy had nodded off. He wasn’t the only one. At least one of the very elderly men who had been given household chairs to sit in was snoring softly. John nudged Noah who quickly sat up straight, but no one bothered the elder in the corner.

When the meeting came to an end, John closed his book, feeling refreshed in mind and body. Had he felt like this before during a church service? Had he known this closeness to God and lost it?

He glanced across the room and caught sight of Karen. Had he known this special closeness with a woman and forgotten it?

“Our program is tonight. It’s tonight. It’s tonight. I can’t wait. I can’t wait.” Anna’s excitement had been growing by leaps and bounds over the past days. Tonight was finally Christmas Eve and her school program was only an hour away.

Anna hopped around the kitchen table repeating her refrain until Karen finally had enough.

“Silence, little sister.”

Anna immediately stopped chanting but continued to bounce. Karen tried not to smile and took pity on her. She remembered well her own anticipation for the biggest night of the school year.

“Why don’t you go see if John is back,” Karen suggested hoping for a moment of peace and quiet to finish her preparations. There were fresh cookies cooling on the rack that would have to be packed for the trip and her
peanut brittle was nearly done. She couldn’t stop stirring for fear it would scorch.

But peace and quiet was not to be hers. Before Anna reached the front door, it opened and John stepped into the room.

Anna grabbed his hand. “
Frehlicher-Grischtdaag,
John. I knew you wouldn’t forget.”

“Merry Christmas to you, too. It’s your big night. How could I forget that? Reuben had us close the shop early so I could get home in time to go with you.”

He was wearing his plain clothes and her brother’s hat. Karen’s heart expanded with happiness. Knowing that John was seeking God and a place in her community warmed her inside and out. If only she dare believe such a thing was possible.

She glanced at the clock. It was a few minutes after one o’clock in the afternoon. “Anna, go tell your father it’s time to get ready.”

The child rocketed out of the house without bothering to put on her coat. John chuckled. “She’s ready to pop with excitement.”

“She is. Noah is almost as bad. The children spend weeks, even months, making preparations for their Christmas program. They’ll sing songs, read poems, as if you hadn’t already learned that from Anna, and they will have a play about the meaning of Christmas. It’s a big deal for them.”

“It sounds like a lot of fun. What can I do to help you get ready?”

“Stack those cookies in these plastic containers and don’t snitch. They are for the children’s teacher.” She motioned with her hand toward the container.

“You never let me have any fun. How do you know
they are any good? I should test them.” He popped one in his mouth.

“John!”

“They’re fine,” he mumbled around his full mouth. He packed the box to the brim and then snapped the lid in place. “Is there anything else I can test for you?”

Karen shook her head and returned to stirring her candy but her lighthearted mood persisted. He could always make her smile.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to come to this program?” he asked. “
Ja,
there will be many English visitors. Lots of our families work for non-Amish businesses and have non-Amish friends. We welcome them to share the joy of Christ’s birth.”

Noah and Jacob came through the front door. Noah shook off his hat. “It’s snowing again. Papa says we should take the sleigh.”

Anna came in behind them wrapped in her father’s big coat. “We’re going to have a sleigh ride!”

Eli, smiling indulgently at his littlest daughter, closed the door behind her.

Only Karen looked upset at the prospect. “Really, Papa? Can’t we take the buggy? It will be so much warmer.”

“
Nee,
the snow is piling up fast. You won’t think it’s warmer if you must walk home and leave the buggy stuck in a drift.”

“Very well. Jacob, Noah, get the lap robes from the chest upstairs. Everyone else, go get dressed or we will be late.”

Everyone departed. Only John remained in the kitchen. Karen began carefully pouring her hot peanut-
brittle candy over the nuts arranged on wax paper in a long pan.

“Are you sure I can’t test that for you?” John’s voice tickled her ear. He stood close behind her. Suddenly, her hands began to shake. Quickly, he grasped the pan handle enclosing her fingers beneath his own to help steady it. “Careful.”

Trying to ignore the rush of emotions singing through her heart, she said, “There is nothing for you to test here. It’s too hot.”

“But I have a sweet tooth.”

“Your sweet tooth will have to wait.”

“Can’t. This will have to tide me over.” He planted a quick kiss on her cheek.

She should scold him, but the words died in her throat. Instead, she cast a sly grin his way. “Go harness Benny to the sleigh and be quick about it.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He winked at her as he went out the door.

Returning to her work, Karen began humming her favorite Christmas song.

John didn’t waste any time getting the big draft horse hitched. Within ten minutes he was waiting outside the front door for the rest of the family. For some reason he was almost as excited as Anna. A sleigh ride with Karen beside him was his idea of the perfect romantic Christmas Eve.

Anna was the first one out of the house. She quickly claimed her spot in the front seat. Noah scrambled up beside her with the lap robes in his arms. John gave over the reins and took his place in the back. Noah handed several robes to John then spread one over himself and
Anna. Wiggles and giggles was the only way John could think to describe Anna’s demeanor.

Karen and Eli came next carrying boxes filled with treats that they stowed on the floor. “Everyone be careful not to step on these,” Karen cautioned with a pointed look in John’s direction.

Eli took his place up front and that left Karen standing beside the sleigh with no choice but to sit next to John. He smiled broadly and patted the seat.

After casting a quick glance at her father, she got in. John spread the robe over her and said in a low voice, “Don’t worry. I won’t let you freeze.”

“Jacob! Come on,” Anna shouted, causing the patient horse to toss his head.

Jacob came out the door letting it slam shut behind him. He had been trying to act as if the program was no big deal, but John could see he was excited, too. The teenager piled in the backseat with them.

After a second or two of getting settled, Jacob said, “Scoot over, Karen, and give me some room.” John grinned.
Thank you, Jacob.

Wishing he could give the boy a pat on the back, John lifted his arm to make more room for Karen and laid it along the back of the seat. She moved closer, but remained stiff as a chunk of wood beside him. As much as he wanted to slip his arm around her shoulder, he knew it would only make her more uncomfortable.

“Ready, everyone?” Eli asked. Five confirmations rang out. Eli slapped the lines and the big horse took off down the snow-covered lane.

Sleigh bells jingled merrily in time with Benny’s footfalls. The runners hissed along over the snow as big flakes continued to float down. They stuck to the hats of the men turning their brims white before long.

As Anna and Noah tried to catch snowflakes on their tongues between giggles, John leaned down to see Karen’s face. “Are you warm enough?”

She nodded, but her face looked rosy and cold. John took off his woolen scarf and wrapped it around her head to cover her mouth and nose. “

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“My pleasure. It’s a perfect day, isn’t it?”

The thick snow obscured the horizon and made the farm seem like the inside of a snow globe. The fields lay hidden under a thick blanket of white. Cedar tree branches drooped beneath their load of the white stuff. A hushed stillness filled the air broken only by the jingle of the harness bells. It was a picture-perfect moment in time.

The school lay only two miles from the farm. For John, they reached their destination all too soon. As they drew close they saw a dozen buggies and sleighs parked along the south side of the white wooden school building. All the horses had their faces close to the wall to keep them sheltered from the wind.

As everyone scrambled out of the sleigh, John offered Karen his hand to help her out. When she took it, he gave her an affectionate squeeze. She graced him with a shy smile in return.

Inside the building, the place was already crowded with people. Student desks had been pushed out of the way to make room for benches down the center facing a small stage at the front of the room. Swags of fragrant cedar boughs decorated the windowsills and colorful paper chains ran from each corner to a light fixture in the center of the ceiling. Pegs along one wall held coats and hats while a table on the opposite wall bore trays of cookies and candies.

An atmosphere of joy, goodwill and anticipation permeated the air. Everywhere John looked there were welcoming smiles. The Imhoff children hurried to join their classmates behind a large screen off to one side of the stage. Eli, John and Karen found seats in the center.

For the next hour the little school became suspended in time. John saw parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends and neighbors focused not on the problems of the world or their own lives, but on the stage where children preformed their assigned roles, not perfectly, but beautifully nonetheless.

Together the community shook with shared laughter and sighed with quiet joy as the reason for the season was retold not by preachers but by eager young voices. When the last song began, Jacob had a small solo. To John’s surprise, the boy had a beautiful voice, by far the best in the group. His rendition of “Silent Night” was enough to bring tears to many eyes.