An Amish Christmas (7 page)

Karen looked down at her hands. “I am not tempted by John Doe.”

“Do not forget that I am a man like all other men. I see the way he looks at you. I see the way you try not to look back at him.”

She pulled her hands away from his. “I care about him. I don’t deny that. When I saw him lying on the ground bleeding and wounded, I saw Seth. I could not save my brother. He died in my arms. I know his death was the will of God. Just as I know John lived by the will of God alone.”

“We do not know why God brings sadness or joy into our lives. We only know all comes from His purpose for us.” Eli leaned back in his chair and took a sip of coffee.

“I know that, Papa. But why has God taken away John’s memory? I believe it is because God wants to show John something he could not see before.”

Eli grasped her hand again. “Karen, Karen, you cannot know this. You cannot presume to know
Gotte wille.
”

She looked into his eyes so full of concern. “I’m sorry, Papa. I did not mean to upset you. Please trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about.”

Leaning forward, she said earnestly, “My heart is here, with you, and with the children. Nothing could make me throw that away.”

He relaxed and nodded slightly. “You have always been a
goot
daughter and strong in your faith. You see something in the
Englischer
that I do not see. You may be right. God sent John Doe into our midst for a reason. I will keep an open mind about this man.”

John entered the Hope Springs Medical Clinic, a modern one-story blond brick building, with a niggling sense of dread. He’d had enough of hospitals and doctors without getting any answers in return. Inside, he checked in with the elderly receptionist and took a seat in the waiting room. He didn’t have to wait long.

A young woman in a white lab coat and blue scrubs called his name. He followed her down a short hallway and took a seat on the exam-room table.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Doe. I’m Amber Bradley, Nick Bradley’s cousin.” She stuck a thermometer under John’s tongue.

She removed it when it beeped and John said, “You’re the one I need to thank for the financial help.”

Wrapping a blood-pressure cuff around his arm, she said, “You’re welcome, but it wasn’t just me. A lot of people wanted to help.”

John remained quiet until she had finished with his blood pressure. When she took the stethoscope out of her ears, he said, “I wasn’t aware that I required a midwife.”

She chuckled. “I am a woman with many hats. One of those being an office nurse.”

The door opened and a tall, distinguished man with silver hair came in leaning heavily on a cane. “Yes, and
she is proof that good help is hard to come by these days.”

“Ha!” she retorted. “You just try running this office without me, Harold.”

“No doubt I’ll have to when you marry what’s-his-name,” he grumbled.

“Is that any way to talk about your grandson? Don’t worry, Mr. Doe, Dr. White’s bark is worse than his bite.” She checked John’s ears, his eyes and then his throat.

Dr. White, who had been reading John’s chart, said, “You are a very interesting case, Mr. Doe.”

“So I’ve been told.” John tried not to let his bitterness show. He hated being an oddity, the freak with a damaged mind.

“I imagine you’re tired of hearing that.” The doctor washed his hands and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. “Good guess.”

Harold began removing the bandage from John’s head. “We medical people live for cases like yours. The odd thing, the unusual diagnoses. It’s like catnip to us. We want to define it, study it, understand it, cure it.”

John winced as the tape pulled his hair. “I’m in favor of a cure. Tell me which pill to take.”

“Amnesia following a trauma isn’t unusual, but normally it involves losing a short period of time just prior to the injury. A prolonged and complete amnesia such as you have is exceedingly rare.”

“Lucky me.” This time John didn’t disguise his sarcasm.

“Your scalp is healed nicely. How are your ribs?”

“Not bad if I take it slow.”

“Good. I’m going to have Amber take out the stitches. Any headaches?”

“Sometimes.”

“Bad ones?”

“They can be. I think they’re getting better. Maybe I’m just getting used to them.”

“Is there any particular thing that triggers them?” The doctor pulled off his gloves and picked up John’s chart.

“I get these flashes, like images from a movie. I think they are memories, but I can’t be sure. When that happens the pain gets intense.”

“You say you think they’re memories. Anything specific?”

John felt stupid sharing the few instances that he’d had. “Frying trout. A woman laughing. A sick or starving horse. A woman using an Amish word. Nothing with any context of time or place.”

“The same woman?” Amber asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t see her face.”

“Are these flashes becoming more frequent?” The doctor made a note on the chart.

John held still as Amber began removing his stitches. “Not that I can tell. Some days I’ll have one or two, some days I won’t have any.”

He winced but didn’t yelp as she worked on one stubborn stitch. Finally, she said, “All done. You’ll just need to keep it clean and dry, but otherwise you’re good to go. I understand you’re staying at Eli Imhoff’s place.”

“Yes. That’s where I was found. I’ve been interviewing the Amish in the area for the past several days hoping to find someone who recognizes me. I mean, I must have been in the area for a reason.”

Closing the chart, Dr. White asked, “You’ve been going door-to-door?”

“I started with the farms closest to where I was found but I’m not having much luck. Don’t get me wrong. The
Amish have been forthcoming, maybe because I’ve had Karen Imhoff with me, but no one knows anything.”

Amber and Dr. White exchanged glances. Amber said, “There might be an easier way to meet people than going to every house in the area.”

John looked at her with interest. “How?”

Dr. White said, “November is the month for Amish weddings. Sometimes as many as four hundred people show up for them. Elam Sutter’s wedding is this coming Thursday.”

“Nettie Sutter did invite me to the supper.”

“Great,” Amber said, looking at Harold. “Phillip and I will be there, too.”

“Oh, and I’m chopped liver now?” Harold asked, a teasing edge in his tone.

Amber smiled at John. “Dr. Harold White will also be attending the event, and he knows every soul in this county.”

Harold met John’s gaze and said, “Chances are almost everyone there will have already heard your story.”

“How?” John asked. “They don’t have radio or TV.”

Amber laughed. “You would be surprised how fast news travels in a small community like this.”

Harold rubbed his chin. “I’m sure the Imhoff family will be going for the entire day. Why don’t you ride along with me, young man? I’ll introduce you around and see if we can come up with someone who knows you.”

John realized it could be his best chance to meet many of the reclusive Amish in the area. He inclined his head. “Sir, I would be delighted to accompany you.”

T
rue to his word, Nick stuck around to give John a lift from the clinic back to the farm. As the sheriff drove away, John stood in the yard staring at the farmhouse. Once again he was struck by how tidy the farmstead was. The fences were all in good repair, the barn and outbuildings had been recently painted. Everything spoke of order and neatness. Eli Imhoff was a good steward of his land.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, John wondered what kind of steward he was. Did he have lands and a home to care for? Or did he live in an apartment in a crowded city? If he could wish for a home—it would be one like this.

Instead of going into the grandfather house, John made his way to the barn and to the stalls where the horses stood dozing or munching grain. He was surprised by how comfortable he felt among them. Sometime in his life he must’ve worked on a ranch or farm. If only he could remember where or when.

He was petting the nose of the big draft horse when he heard a door open. Looking over his shoulder, he saw
Karen coming from another part of the barn. In her hands she carried a pail brimming full of apples.

Her face brightened when she caught sight of him. “You are back. What did the doctor say?”

John moved to take the pail from her. “He said I’m doing good. Except for not remembering anything, of course.”

“You will remember when God wills it.”

“I wish He’d hurry up, I’m tired of living in the dark.”

“I know it is a terrible burden for you.”

“You must be tired of hearing me complain. What are the apples for?”

“I’m putting up applesauce.”

“Need some help?”

She slanted a grin at him. “Can you pare an apple?”

Giving an exaggerated shrug, he said, “Only one way to find out.”

Inside the house, John sat at the kitchen table and quickly discovered he could use a paring knife. As he cored and chopped the contents of the bucket into a large bowl he had a chance to observe Karen at work.

Every move she made was efficient. She seemed to know exactly what she needed to do when she needed to do it. The canning jars were washed and placed in a large kettle and boiled. Setting them aside after ten minutes, she put his chopped apples into a second kettle. Before long the mouthwatering aroma of cooking apples and cinnamon filled the air.

“I hope you’re not going to can all of it,” he said as he started cutting the last pile of apples. His stomach rumbled loudly.

She wiped her brow with the back of her hand. The
steam had given her face a rosy glow. “I am saving plenty for supper.”

He tipped his head. “I think I should have a taste now in case the apples were bad. You don’t want to give bad applesauce to your family.”

She fisted her hands on her hips. “Of all the pieces you sampled while you were chopping, how many were sour?”

“Okay, I’m busted. I missed lunch, you know. Do you have eyes in the back of your head under that bonnet thing?”

“I don’t need eyes in the back of my head. I brought in enough apples to make eight pints. I can see I’m only going to have enough to fill seven jars.”

“If I promise to go get more fruit can I have a dish of those apples before you squish them?”

Karen laughed and pulled a brown ceramic bowl from the cupboard. “
Ja,
but you had better not complain if it spoils your supper.”

As she heaped the bowl full of stewed apples, John quickly carved an apple skin into the shape of huge red lips and stuck it between his teeth. When Karen turned around and saw him she doubled over with laughter, nearly spilling his snack on the floor. For the first time in his new life John felt totally happy.

Later that evening, when everyone was finishing their meal, he caught Karen’s eye, wiggled his brows and held up his empty plate with a wide grin. She smothered an abrupt giggle, causing her family members to stare at her. Rising quickly, she began to clear the table.

John said, “Let me help you.”

Anna, also in the process of gathering up plates, gave him a funny look. “This is woman’s work.” She looked at her father for confirmation. “Isn’t it, Papa?”

Eli glanced at Karen and then at his boys. “A man must know how to do a woman’s work if his wife needs help just as a woman must know how to do a man’s work if her husband needs help.”

Noah eyed the dirty dishes in disgust. “But you don’t need help tonight, do you Karen?”

“
Nee,
Anna and I can manage, but thank you for your offer.”

John slipped his hands in the front pockets of his jeans wishing he could spend more time with Karen but knowing it wasn’t wise.

Noah said, “Come and play checkers with me, John.”

Relieved, John followed the boy into the living room where Noah quickly set up the board. Eli settled himself in his favorite chair, opened his Bible and began reading. Jacob pretended interest in a book of his own, but his eyes were drawn repeatedly to the game.

Karen and Anna joined the men when they were done in the kitchen. Karen pulled a basket of mending from the cupboard in the corner, sat down beside her father and began to thread a needle. It seemed to John that she was never idle. Anna brought out a small, faceless doll to play with.

John’s gaze was drawn repeatedly to where Karen sat. The lamplight gave a soft glow to her face. A gentle smile curved her lips. The white bonnet on her hair reminded him of a halo.

She was so beautiful it hurt his eyes, and he had no business admiring her.

“Your move,” Noah said.

John realized he’d been staring and focused his attention on his play.

Anna came to John’s elbow. “Do you want to hear
the poem I’m going to recite for the school Christmas program?”

Noah shook his head. “Not again. We’ve heard it a million times.”

“Noah, she needs the practice,” Karen chided gently.

John said, “I haven’t heard it. Miss Anna, I would love to hear your poem.”

Flashing him a bright smile, she folded her hands and stared at a spot over his head.
“Auf einer Nacht so ehrlich in einem Land weit entfernt.”

Jacob snickered. “He doesn’t understand German, Anna.”

She propped her hands on her hips. “David Yoder is repeating it in English at the program so everyone will know what it means.”

John sought to soothe her. “You say it just as you will at your program. When you’re done, you can interpret it for me.”

Her smile returned. “The first line means on a night so fair in a land far away.”

“Got it. Let me hear the whole thing. I’m sure Noah will tell me if you mess up.”

Noah chuckled. “You know that’s right.”

Anna began again. As she spoke, John caught Karen’s eye. The look she gave him conveyed her approval. A warm feeling of happiness settled over him. He smiled back at her.

Eli cleared his throat. John caught the stern look he shot his daughter. Karen quickly returned to her sewing. John gave his attention back to the checkerboard.

After Anna finished her poem she went back to playing with her doll. When Noah lost his third match in a
row to John, he dropped his head onto his forearms. “Jacob always wins, too.”

John ruffled the boy’s hair. “You almost had me on that last one.”

Eli closed his Bible. “Do you play chess, Mr. Doe?”

Did he? John tried to see the pieces and the moves in his mind. He nodded. “I think so.”

“Jacob has a talent for the game. Why don’t you two play?”

“I’m willing.” John looked at the boy. Indecision flashed across Jacob’s face.

Not wanting to push the kid, John began clearing the checkers from the board. He hummed a tune softly as he stacked them inside the box. When the board was clear, he looked at Jacob. The boy’s face had gone pale. He snapped his book shut. “I’m going to bed.”

John watched Jacob rush out of the room and wondered what he had done to upset the youngster. He looked at Karen. She just shrugged her shoulders.

Folding up the chessboard, John handed it to Noah. Rising to his feet, he said, “I think I’ll turn in, too.”

Laying her mending aside, Karen said, “I will get you a lamp. It is dark out.”

In the kitchen, she pulled a kerosene lamp from a cabinet. Setting it on the counter, she lifted the glass chimney and lit the wick.

John took it from her hand. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset your family. Maybe my staying here wasn’t a good idea.”

“It is only for a couple more days. We can manage.”

Gazing into her luminous eyes, John found himself wishing he could stay longer. The thought was foolish and he knew it.

Once he found out about his past, then maybe he could
start thinking about a future. Until then he would be crazy to get attached to anyone, especially the lovely Amish woman standing before him.

The beautiful autumn morning of the wedding dawned cold but clear. After making sure everyone in the family was dressed in their Sunday best Karen ushered them out to the waiting buggy. Jacob had gone ahead with the bench wagon. The special enclosed wagon held the several dozen narrow wooden benches that their church district used for Sunday services.

Karen glanced toward the
dawdy haus
and saw John watching them from the porch. For the past several days he’d been making himself at home on the farm, helping her father with the horses and her with chores. Having him across from her at the supper table had become the high point of her evenings. But he would be moving to the inn tomorrow. His time with her family was almost up. There wouldn’t be any more afternoons spent laughing over a pail of apples.

He lifted a hand in a brief wave. Karen glanced at her father and saw he was watching her. She didn’t wave back but climbed in the buggy instead.

The trip into town was accomplished in short order. The wedding ceremony itself was to take place at the home of Naomi and Emma Wadler, both friends of the bride. When Karen and her family entered the house the bridal party was already sitting in the front row of the wooden benches.

Katie wore a new plain dress of light blue. Elam looked quite handsome in his dark coat and not the least bit nervous. Near them sat two each of Elam’s sisters and brothers-in-law, their wedding attendants.

Nettie, the groom’s mother, wouldn’t be at the cer
emony. She would be at home getting ready for the dinner. Karen and several other women would leave, once the vows were exchanged, to act as servers for the several hundred people expected to arrive that afternoon.

At exactly nine o’clock the singing began. Bishop Zook and the two ministers escorted the bride and groom to a separate room. While they were given instructions on the duties of marriage in the Council room, the congregation sang the wedding hymns.

When the bridal couple returned, the bishop began his sermon. He spoke with simple eloquence about the marriages in the Old Testament. He spoke about Adam and Eve and proceeded to the Great Flood and the virtuousness of Noah’s household. He recounted the story of Isaac and Rebekah and talked about the way God works through events to bring marriage partners together.

Bishop Zook looked at the couple and said, “God had a plan for you. You found each other because you were willing to submit to His will and to His choice.”

His words brought tears to Karen’s eyes. She knew the struggles Katie had endured in her life away from the Amish. It was through those circumstances that God led her and her baby daughter back to the faith and into the life of Elam Sutter.

Karen couldn’t help wondering how God was using John in her life. What plan did He have for each of them? Whatever it was, it could not be marriage.

It was nearly noon before the lengthy sermon was concluded and the bishop asked Katie and Elam to step forward. They clasped hands with gentle smiles at each other. The bishop placed his hand over theirs. He pronounced a blessing upon them and asked, “Are you willing to enter together into wedlock as God in the beginning ordained and commanded?”

“Yes,” they both answered in firm, solemn voices.

As he asked each of them if they were confident God had chosen the person beside them to be their husband or wife, Karen’s thoughts turned again to John.

Had he made a similar vow? Had he pledged to cherish and care for a woman as a Christian husband until the Lord separated them by death? Was there someone waiting and praying to see him again?

Was there a woman whose heart skipped a beat at the sight of his smile the way hers did?

John was happy for the company of the gruff doctor when they arrived at the Sutter farm. Buggies filled every free space between the house and barn and extended down the lane. The corral overflowed with horses munching hay as they waited patiently to take families home. Everywhere, groups of women in long dresses and men in dark suits with black hats stood talking in animated conversations or were working together.

One group of adults was busy washing dishes in large red plastic tubs as a trio of young women carried out trays of dirty plates and hurried back inside with the clean ones.

The doctor had been right. There had to be over two hundred people John could speak with. He worked to temper his expectations. He’d been disappointed too many times already.

When Dr. White got out of the car the men and women standing nearby greeted him cheerfully. One, a small gnomelike man with a long white beard said, “The
goot doktor
is here. If you want free advice, step right up.”

Harold clapped a hand on the old man’s shoulder. “Good to see you, too, Reuben Beachy. Tell me, why did they invite an old rascal like you to this wedding?”

Reuben chuckled. “Who better to invite than a harness maker when you are getting hitched for life?”

Everyone laughed at his joke including Dr. White. Harold raised one hand and said to the group, “I will have time to hear what ails you and repeat all the gossip, but I must see the bride and groom and eat before the food is gone.”

They all chuckled as Harold led the way to the house. As John entered the Sutter home, he was stunned by the transformation that had taken place inside. Wall partitions had been removed to open up all the downstairs rooms. The kitchen itself was a crush of women working.