An Ever Fixéd Mark (43 page)

“Why were you angry?” Lizzie felt she knew
the answer but didn’t know where to find it in her mind.

“Lily chose someone else.”

“Charlotte?”

Oliver stood up and walked over to the
chair. He stared at it in silence for several minutes. “Has he
really told you nothing?” Oliver didn’t move his eyes from the
chair.

“About what?”

“About Mr. Chester and the plans for
Harriet?”

“No,” Lizzie shook her head as it started to
muddle again with blurred shapes and sounds.

“What do you remember? About her?”

“I remember running into the Harris’ yard
and hiding behind the hedges. I remember you coming out of the
shadows and …” she stood up slowly. “I remember that I loved
you.”

Oliver grasped her hand and pulled her into
another kiss. She felt the cloud of her mind dissolve as the warmth
of his kiss provoked her own. The room spun into another reality.
The lamps were lit by flames. The wallpaper had no water stains or
cracks. The wood on the bedposts glowed with a fresh sheen of
oil.

Lizzie pulled herself away from Oliver. A
quiet voice in her thought about closing up the museum, but she
ignored it as Oliver took apart the buttons of her sweater and
unhooked her bra. She felt his hand press against her left breast.
He grinned as he felt her heart pound through her skin. He kissed
her again and moved his hands to the waist of her skirt, slowly
sliding it over her hips as he lowered in front of her. She became
aware of the cold when he removed her stockings but resisted the
urge to shudder as she watched him slowly undress. She saw the
muscle she imagined, that she knew from all those meetings in the
shop. He was exactly as she knew he would be. Tall and strong. The
scar at his side was worn and faded, but still noticeable. He came
back towards her and kissed her warmly. She pressed against him for
the heat she felt escaping her body. He moved his hands down along
her back and behind her hips as he pushed her towards the bed. He
lay down with her and slowly began his rhythm. She breathed in
deeply, silencing herself for fear that Charlotte – not Charlotte-
would hear in the next room. She arched her back and turned her
neck as the sensation warmed her spine. She felt his breath move to
the base of her shoulder and the slight prick of fangs as the
sensation flooded through her brain and the blood pumped out from
the veins of her neck.

His body warmed on top of her, diminishing
the cold drafts of Harriet’s room. She pulled the warmth closer to
her as he moved away from the inside of her shoulder and rested his
head against her beating heart. She saw the gleam of the oiled bed
posts before she closed her eyes and everything in front of her
blurred…

There was no moon as she walked around the
path to the front of the house. There was a candle burning in the
kitchen. Annie was still awake. Would she notice the creak of the
front door? She tucked her loose hair under the cap and checked her
apron strings. Someone took her hand away from her back and turned
her around.

He was in shadow, but even in the darkness
she could see the green of his eyes. She wanted to move away from
him. She felt badly indulging him, indulging herself after visiting
Tom. After the decision Tom made to leave Boston. She couldn’t
resist as he pulled her lips towards his.

“
Lily,” he whispered her
name as no one else ever had, with respect and admiration. Not to
call an order or refer to her as some sort of pet.

“I don’t have much time,” she pulled away
from him. “She will be back soon.”

“I know,” he kissed her again.

She didn’t want to stop. She didn’t want to
go back into the stuffy room with Harriet. She wouldn’t be able to
sleep. Not after his kiss. Not after another complication to her
escape. “I have to go inside,” she attempted weakly.

“You don’t have to do anything, Lily. They
don’t own you,” he pressed his forehead against hers.

“Stop,” she put her hands around his and
stepped back from him. “I don’t want you to hurt them. I don’t want
you to… please take her away and go.”

“You don’t want me to go.”

“I am going to Kentucky with Tom.”

“You don’t want to go to Kentucky. You want
to go to Prussia and Turkey and France. I can take you there,
Lily.”

“
She won’t let that
happen.”

“
I told you there is a
way,” he rested his hands against the sides of her face. “I can
make you like her, like me. Then we can be together. We will go to
the countries you read about. You will see all those places with
me.”

“
But how?” she fought the
tears she felt surface in her eyes.

“I have money.”

“Without her? What about Harriet?”

“We shall let Harriet be,” he kissed her
forehead. She looked up and saw the green visible in the
shadows.

“What if she tries to stop us?”

“She won’t,” he caressed her cheek. “She has
Horace’s fortune. She has what she wanted.”

“She won’t have me.”

“She has others. You know she has…”

“Will it hurt?”

“No,” he kissed her again.

“Will I become like her? Will I be cruel and
… will I be a monster?”

The green eyes looked at her. “You will
never be her,” he touched her brow. “You have a heart that is full
of love, Lily. You will not be a monster.”

She rested her head against his shoulder as
he pulled her into an embrace. “Will you love me?” she asked into
his ear.

“I will always love you,” he kissed her
again.

Lizzie shook with the cold and sat up
suddenly. “I have to finish closing,” she looked for the clothing
on the floor.

“
We can go somewhere,”
Oliver stood behind her and turned her back into his kiss. Lizzie
couldn’t resist and let him touch her lips again. She was still
somewhere between awake and dreaming. She saw the image of shadows
outside the front door and felt the movement of her mouth. She
wasn’t sure how many minutes passed before she pulled
away.

“
I have to get Ben at the
airport.”

“Oh,” Oliver watched her reassemble her
sweater and skirt. She shoved her tights in her pocket and then
looked to the historic bed. The cover was ruffled. She straightened
it out and hoped it wasn’t obvious someone had touched the precious
furniture. She watched Oliver zip his ski jacket. He was still so
handsome and eager to be near her. She turned away and rushed from
the room down the servant steps.

Oliver followed right behind her. Lizzie
quickly gathered her things and went to the alarm. She set the code
and ushered him out of the building. “Let me get you something to
eat,” Oliver touched her back.

“I have to meet Ben,” Lizzie faced him.

“You are beautiful.”

“I’m…” Lizzie felt the sadness overtake
her.

He kissed her again. He stepped back as her
breath nearly gave out. “You should go.”

“Goodbye,” Lizzie turned in the opposite
direction. She hastened her speed to a run and let herself cry all
the way to the train station.

*****

Lizzie went directly to her car when she got
to Ben’s apartment. She contemplated going inside for the remaining
two hours. She didn’t want to be surrounded by Ben’s things.
Maria’s things. Were any of them Lily’s things?

Lizzie looked at the marks on her neck in
the rearview mirror. She thought about getting a turtleneck, but
there was no point trying to hide it from Ben. Even if she could
justify the distance of one night as punishment for abandoning her
on Thanksgiving, she wouldn’t be able to hide it for the weeks it
would take the marks to fade. She tied her scarf around her neck
and tucked it inside her jacket. It was a temporary solution, at
least until they got back to his apartment.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to hide it. She
wanted him to know. She didn’t feel the need to lie about Oliver.
Ben should know. Not because Lizzie wanted to be fair to Ben.
Because she wanted to be fair to Oliver. She made a conscious
choice to accept Oliver – Thomas – back in her life. Is that what
she was doing? Hadn’t she made that decision by letting him seduce
her and take her blood? Ben chose to stay in Chicago. He chose to
put his career before her. He chose to deceive her about Lily.

Why didn’t he tell her that he knew Lily?
That he … loved her. He loved her enough to want to stay with her
forever. To make her a vampire. Lizzie kept trying to shake that
detail from her mind. Oliver was proof that changing someone into a
vampire didn’t necessarily bind them to that person forever.
Forever was a long time. But that was Oliver. Ben was more
steadfast and determined. He only left the women he loved because
they left him by dying. She didn’t want to die. She didn’t know she
wanted to leave him. She couldn’t stay. How could she trust him
again? How could she not know he was hiding something from her?
About her? He said he didn’t know what he should tell her. But to
not tell her that he knew Lily, that he loved Lily, that he stole
Lily from Oliver and Charlotte, that he wanted to make Lily what he
was… that was a heartless attempt to withhold the truth. Why? Why
tell her that Lily was in love with Oliver but not him? Why
wouldn’t he want Lizzie to know to whom her heart once
belonged?

She didn’t say much at the airport. She let
him kiss her cheek, but pretended to focus on the traffic making
its way back to the Pike. They drove in silence. She knew he was
tired. She knew he knew she was upset. He had no idea about Oliver.
No idea at all.

Ben brought his bags to the bedroom and
Lizzie went to the couch in the living room. She glanced to where
the vase of white roses used to be. Lily was the reason for white
roses. She didn’t know how or why. She knew the roses were for
Lily… for her.

“Do you want to go get some dinner?” Ben
asked from the doorway.

“No,” she set a hard stare on him.

“You are still in your coat.” Lizzie took
off her coat, but kept the scarf tied around her neck. “You are
angry with me,” he sighed heavily. “I don’t blame you. I… I know
this weekend was important to you.”

Lizzie looked away from him. She didn’t want
his false sympathy. If he was really sincere, he would have been
there. He wouldn’t have made another choice. He preferred to be
with other vampires and not at the eating frenzy of a bunch of
regular humans.

“Are we going to talk about this?” he sat
beside her and took her hand. She pulled it back and hid it under
the cushion beside her hip.

“Oliver came to see me.”

Ben turned away and let out a cool breath.
“I thought he might.”

“What?”

“I knew he was coming to town to give a
lecture.”

“You knew?”

“Yes, Elizabeth,” he looked at her not
showing any anger or impatience.

“He came to the Fulton House,” she tried to
provoke him.

“
Did he take one of your
tours?” his question was almost too light and frothy to be
sincere.

“No, he did that a month ago.”

“A month?”

“Halloween. The day you kissed Meghan.”

“So is this retaliation?”

Lizzie fingered the ends of her scarf. She
looked back at Ben. “He told me things about the house and the
Fultons…”

“
And Lily.”

“Things you wouldn’t tell me.”

“What did he tell you?”

Lizzie let out a breath and walked behind
the couch towards the empty table under the mirror. “Do you know
they found Melissa Benson’s body?”

“No,” Ben let his confusion show.

“They are pretty sure she fell into the
brook and drowned,” Lizzie watched his brief distraction from
focusing on her.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Why?”

“Because it must make her family sad.”

“But relieved to know what happened,” Lizzie
hardened her jaw. “Oliver helped find the body. He probably could
have found her seventeen years ago, but he didn’t want them to see
the fang marks on her. He didn’t want any suspicion to come near
the Cottingham household.”

“That doesn’t make him any less guilty.”

“He didn’t kill her.”

“I never said he did, Elizabeth,” he went
behind the couch to face her. “You were the one who made that
conclusion.”

“You didn’t stop me. You didn’t want me to …
you wanted to keep him from me.”

“Did I stop him from going to the Fulton
House to take your tour?”

“No,” Lizzie felt her anger muddle with
confusion.

“Did he tell you how he killed Lily?”

“He showed me where she… I died,” Lizzie’s
voice cracked.

“And you still think he is someone you can
trust and feel safe with?”

“No more than you,” she turned away from
him.

“How many times have you seen him?” Ben
asked slowly, still not letting any anger into the tone of his
voice.

“He took me to lunch and I went to his
lecture. Then we went to the Science Museum. Today he came back to
the house,” Lizzie stared at a window across the street decorated
with red Christmas tree lights.

“I’m glad he was able to answer your
questions about the Fultons and Lily.”

“I had a dream, Ben,” she turned to face him
again and let the hardness return to her eyes. “A very vivid dream
about Lily. You were there. You kissed her. You…” her breath
quickened as she tried to form the words. “You told her you were
going to make her like you.”

Ben stopped his breath and softened his
eyes. “You remembered?”

“
You didn’t tell me you
were a part of Lily’s life.”

“I didn’t… I wanted you to remember
that.”

“What?”

“Then I would know that…” Ben stepped closer
to her.

“What?”

“You remembered that?” he looked at her
hopefully. “He didn’t tell you?”