An Honest Love (21 page)

“All right. Was the surgery a success?”

Compassion entered his eyes. “The endometriosis was more extensive than we thought. I ablated as much of the implanted tissue as I could.”

She struggled to comprehend his words. The medical jargon was unfamiliar to her. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

“It is. You should be experiencing less pain now with your next cycle. But I have to be honest with you—there’s still a possibility you won’t be able to conceive.”

Without thinking, Anna’s hand went directly to her abdomen. It was sore from the laparoscopy, but she barely felt any pain. Numbness flowed over her until she sensed almost nothing. “Why?”

“In my experience, patients who had similar problems with endometriosis had a low chance of getting pregnant—about twenty percent.”

His answer gave her hope. “But there’s still a chance.”

“A small one. There’s a greater chance of the endometriosis recurring, which would require more surgery.” He rose from his seat. “I wish I had better news, Ms. Esh. If you start experiencing pain again, come see me right away. Don’t ignore it or think it’s going to get better. Make an appointment immediately.”

Once the doctor left, Anna sat, motionless. Any grogginess she’d felt from the anesthesia had disappeared. She saw everything with painful clarity.

She might not ever be able to have children.

“You okay, sweetie?” The nurse came over and put her arm around Anna’s shoulder.

Anna looked at her, fighting her despair. “Do you have children?”

The nurse nodded slowly. “Three.”

“Then you are very blessed.”

She gave Anna a small smile that was meant to be encouraging, but had the opposite effect. “I am indeed.” She squeezed Anna’s shoulder. “You should have a couple of refills of that pain medication Dr. Caxson gave you on your last visit. Take two of them when you go home, and sleep for the rest of the night. No heavy lifting for the next few days, okay?”

Anna dipped her chin in a half nod. When the nurse left, and she began to dress, Anna realized what she had to do. She couldn’t accept the doctor’s diagnosis, not yet. Not until she had spent a long time on her knees in prayer. Miracles happened all the time, she truly believed that. Story after story from the Bible filtered through her mind. Displays of God’s divine power. And before she would let Dr. Caxson cut her again, she would seek the Lord first, and ask him for healing.

She met Susan at her car, ignoring the pain from the small incision.

“How did it go?” Susan asked, revealing a row of shining braces on her bottom teeth.

“Fine,” Anna said. “Everything is going to be fine.” And Anna knew that if she told herself that enough times, she would eventually come to believe it. 2

“Beautiful work,
sohn
.”

Lukas stood next to his father as they surveyed the hope chest on the table in front of them, in the very back of Byler and Sons’ woodshop. Made completely of fragrant cedar, it was large enough to hold at least five full-sized quilts, if not more. He’d spent many late nights over the past couple of weeks crafting the chest, hand sanding it to perfect smoothness then applying cherry stain. He had just finished putting the fourth and final coat of clear lacquer on the chest when his father came in.

Joseph Byler tugged on his dark brown beard, the hair streaked with silver. “Cold tonight.”

“Work’s keeping me warm.” The temperature in the shop was barely warm enough to dry the lacquer, but he had wanted to finish the chest tonight.

“You never said who the chest was for,” Jacob commented. “Care to let me know? Or is it a secret?”

“
Nee
, not a secret.” He hadn’t wanted to reveal the recipient to anyone, not until he was finished. “It’s for Anna.”

Joseph raised a brow. “I didn’t realize she sold such large pieces in her store. Did she ask you to make it?”

“
Nee
. It’s a
gschenk
.” Lukas bent down and looked at the bottom edge of the chest, making sure none of the drying varnish had dripped. Several lamps hung from the ceiling, and like the small heater in the corner of the room, they were all powered by gas.

“That’s quite a
gschenk
. Is it her birthday?”

“Nope.” He straightened and looked at his
daed
.

Surprise registered on Joseph’s face as he caught on to Lukas’ unspoken meaning. “I suspected you two were courting. You’ve been spending a lot of time helping out over at Zeb’s place. But marriage? You two haven’t known each other that long.”

“Since August.”

“And now it’s January. Only five months.”

“I think that’s plenty of time.” He noticed the concern in his father’s eyes. He hadn’t thought to discuss his wedding plans with him or anyone else, as was typically the Amish way. Usually no one in the community knew of the impending nuptials until the couple made an announcement in church a couple of weeks before the wedding. But his father’s concerned expression changed Lukas’ mind. “I thought you might be a little happier for me,
Daed
.”

“Oh, I am, I am. It’s just that . . . well, you’re young, Lukas.”

“I’ll be twenty next month.”

“She’s a few years older than you,
ya
?”

“It’s not an issue. Besides, Tobias was the same age as me when he married Rachel.”

“
Ya
, but Tobias and Rachel knew each other since they were
kinner
. Besides, if they hadn’t married, they would have driven each other and the rest of us
ab im kopp
.” Joseph grinned.

Lukas smiled back. From what he could tell, his brother and Rachel had a great marriage, but they still engaged in friendly verbal sparring every once in a while. Both of them seemed to get a kick out of pushing each other’s buttons. Lukas preferred a less volatile relationship and appreciated Anna’s calmness. He turned and inspected the chest once more, making his way slowly around the table. “I don’t see any reason to wait to get married when I’m ready now.”

“What about Anna? She’s also sure?”

“I hope so.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

Lukas paused. In his heart he knew Anna loved him, even though she’d never spoken the words. He had seen it in her eyes Christmas night, and he knew she would have never agreed to date him unless she completely trusted him. Anna didn’t give her affection lightly, and he treasured it.

He planned to bring her here Saturday night to present the chest to her as a wedding gift. He imagined their future together, filled with love, faith, and family. A huge family, he hoped. Nothing would make him happier than to have a house full of children to come home to after a long day at work. Well, he could think of one thing better—coming home to his beautiful Anna.

“Seems you have your mind made up. Then I guess this is as
gut
a time as any to talk about the business.”

Lukas walked back over to him, alarm shooting through him as he took in his father’s stern face. “What about the business?”

“I’ve been thinking about the future. About retirement, actually.”

Lukas frowned. He couldn’t imagine his father ever retiring from carpentry. Joseph Byler had worked as a carpenter, then as a master woodworker, for over thirty years. For the past ten years Lukas had worked in the shop with his
daed
and Tobias. Stephen, now at age sixteen, had just joined the business full-time this year. Everyone expected the three of them would continue on with Byler and Sons—eventually. Their father still had a lot of years left in him. “Retirement?”

“Not now,” Joseph assured. “But in a few years. After all you
kinner
are married.”

Lukas did some mental calculations. His three younger siblings— Elisabeth, Stephen, and Ruth—were still in their teens. Ruth, the youngest, was only thirteen, and in her next-to-last year of school. Stephen was far too young to think about marriage. And eighteen-year-old Elisabeth . . . only the good Lord knew what would happen to Elisabeth. She never seemed serious about anything.

“I thought I’d start laying the groundwork now, though, to be fair to you
buwe
.” Joseph clapped his large, calloused hand on Lukas’ shoulder, his expression as solemn as Lukas had ever seen it. “I’d like you to take over the shop for me.”

Lukas’ mouth dropped open. That was the last thing he’d expected his father to say. “But
Daed
, what about Tobias? He’s your oldest
sohn
. Shouldn’t he be in charge?”

Joseph shook his head. “I love Tobias, I really do. And he’s grown into a fine
mann
. But he doesn’t have the passion you do for the work. He sees it as just a job, something to do to make money so he can support his
familye
. And while he does
gut
work, he doesn’t have your drive or your head for business.”

Although he warmed to this father’s compliments, Lukas still remained uncertain. “What do you think Tobias will say?”

“I’ve already discussed it with him, and he’s perfectly fine with you being in charge—as long as you don’t boss him around
too
much.”

Lukas smiled sheepishly. “He mentioned that to me once.”

“A lot more than once.” Joseph laughed. “But we all know he needs some redirection from time to time. So what say you? Do you want the business? When I retire, of course.”

Lukas grinned and held out his hand. “
Ya, Daed
. I do.”

Joseph grabbed his son’s hand and shook it, then clapped him on the back. “I’m proud of you,
sohn
. I know you’ll take
gut
care of this business. You’ve shown me you love it as much as I do.”

“
Danki
.” His father’s words were true. He loved being a carpenter, and he loved working for his father and with his brothers.

He looked back at the finished chest, pleased. Everything was falling into place. Not only could he offer Anna the chest, he could promise her a comfortable life. Byler and Sons had turned a profit for more than a decade, and despite the spiraling economy, Lukas saw no reason why it wouldn’t continue to do so. God had blessed their family and rewarded their hard work.

Better yet, Anna wouldn’t have to worry about finances at Esh’s Amish Goods, which he knew were constantly on her mind. Or about Zeb and her mother. He could take care of her and her family and would be honored to do it.

“I’m glad we got that settled. Been weighing on my mind.” Joseph tugged on his beard again. “I’m going inside. You coming along?”

“In a bit. I want to do some more finish work on the chest.”

“All right.” Joseph walked toward the door, then stopped and turned around. “Lukas?”

“
Ya
?”

“You prayed about you and Anna,
ya
?”

Lukas nodded. He’d prayed about the two of them from almost the day they’d met.

“
Gut, gut
. Then if this is what you want—what you both want—then I’m happy for you.”

Lukas grinned. “
Danki, Daed
. That means a lot to me.”

A short while later, Lukas reached the limit on what he could do to the chest. It was as perfect as he could make it, and considering the late hour, he needed to stop. He walked the short distance across the driveway to his home.

In his bedroom, Lukas undressed, then slipped beneath the sheets of his twin bed, exhaustion overcoming him. For the past four months he’d been working a lot of hours, but the fatigue was worth it. Sleep proved elusive, though, as Anna ran through his mind. He thought about his plans to ask her to marry him. What if she said no? What if he’d been wrong about her feelings for him all along?

He pushed those thoughts aside. Anna Esh would be his wife. He couldn’t imagine living without her.

Chapter 13

L
ukas, where are you taking me?”

“Shhh. I said no questions.”

Anna gripped Lukas’ arm with both hands. He had picked her up from work half an hour ago, and she was glad for the change of scenery. Today had been a busy day, even for a Saturday. Despite being wrapped up in her work, she said several prayers that day for healing. She was determined to go to God every chance she had, laying her worry and burden at his feet. Still, she didn’t feel completely at peace. But that wouldn’t deter her from her prayers.