An Idol for Others (39 page)

“That’s the worst part.”

“Yeah,” Mark murmured. He sketched designs on the table with a finger.

“I’ve made up my mind,” Walter said quietly, coming to a decision as he spoke or believing that he had come to a decision. “I’m going to tell Clara. Not yet. Not till she knows you and you’ve started working for me in the fall. I won’t leave her. I’ll go on leading my public life with her. You and I have to have our private life together. Other men have mistresses. I’m going to have my friend. We’ll find you a real apartment, like you said. I’ll be able to give you at least $25 a week for my share. I want it to be ours. Our social lives will have to be a little apart, but the rest will be together. Clara will have to know where I am at night. I’ll be sleeping with you. Maybe not every night, but as a natural part of life. Do you think it will work?”

Mark pressed his hands against his eyes and dropped them. “It damn well has to. I wasn’t sold on the threesome idea. What about her? Will she accept it?”

“I’m counting on you two liking each other. I see it happening easily and gradually, without any great drama. If she can’t accept it, well–I need you, darling. If it were only sex, I’d make sure I got over it. It’s much more. I sat up thinking about you most of the night. I suppose it’s being in love. I’m still fairly confused about it.”

Their eyes met and called to each other. With one accord they rose and moved into each other’s arms, and their mouths met. Their hips clamped together while their kiss deepened. They broke apart, but Walter kept his hands on the naked body under the dressing gown. “Can you think of any other solution?” he asked.

“I don’t know Clara, so it’s hard to say. If you want to know what I really think, I think we’re going to live together. I’m so sure of it that I’m not going to push it. I’ll try anything you say. If we both put up a hundred a month, we should be able to find something really good. When am I going to meet the lady?”

“That’s all settled. You’re coming for drinks tomorrow evening.”

Mark took a deep breath. “God. We’re really getting into it now.”

“Yeah, the next couple of days are going to be hell. I’ve got a dinner tonight. Drinks tomorrow. After that, maybe everything will fall into some sort of pattern.”

“I think we’d better go to a bed for a while, don’t you? Thank God for sex. If I didn’t know you’re in love with me, I’d throw you out.”

“I’m counting on your knowing all the things I don’t know.” Walter let go of him and shed his clothes.

The next day was dominated by Mark’s impending meeting with Clara and went quickly. They were having only a dozen or so in for drinks, and most of them had arrived when Mark turned up. By then, Walter was in a fever of nerves but covered it with great calm. He greeted him carelessly without being able to really look at him and managed to keep his hands off him as he led him around for introductions. Clara took charge of him. When the tension of having him there had subsided, he was able to observe the others’ reaction to him.

Mark was making an impression. The famous actor couldn’t take his eyes off him. The even more famous actress looked tigerishly determined to take his pants off him. Clara, who had been entranced by the carefully selected photographs Walter had shown her, talked to him for some minutes before letting him go off on his own. Walter watched him doing so with the aplomb he had learned to expect of him. He was urbane but subtly discouraging with the famous actor. He was respectfully flirtatious with the famous actress. He ended by settling down with the distinguished writer and his wife and a lovely girl who was the best young actress in Walter’s company.

He wanted to hug him for his unerring social sense. He could foresee his future. He had seen it happen before–people who were ignored until they were suddenly seen in the right frame and then were picked up and welcomed into the mainstream of the city’s life. With his looks and as a member of the Walter Makin organization, Mark was about to make his mark. Walter felt a pang of jealousy but was aware that it was probably all for the best. When their passion cooled, Mark would be well-established in a new and rewarding life, and there would be no grounds for reproaches, as there might be if Mark weren’t capable of fending for himself. Walter wouldn’t want to be responsible for picking up a nonentity and eventually dropping him. Clara stopped beside him for a moment to sing Mark’s praises.

“You’re right, dearest. He is a find. Not as staggeringly beautiful as the photographs, thank heavens, but certainly one of the handsomest men I’ve ever laid eyes on. Did you notice him snub Clifton? It’s rare that a young man knows how to make it politely clear that he doesn’t like men making passes at him. Oh, dear, we need another bottle of champagne.”

Walter circulated but managed to keep an approving eye on Mark. He saw Clara talking to him again. The Makins had another brief moment together.

“I thought Mark might be a loose end later, but Jack and his wife have already arranged to take him and Elaine off somewhere,” Clara said. “You must fix it for him to come to the office and talk business.”

Again, Walter could have hugged him. He was making just the right show of independence on his first evening, and he had linked up with a girl and the most unswervingly heterosexual couple in the room. He waited until a few people had left before he allowed himself to single him out for attention. “Everything all right?” he asked, standing over him. Mark immediately rose, and they moved a step away from the group he was with. “You’re sensational,” Walter mumbled half into his glass. He saw the muscles of Mark’s jaw tighten.

“It’s a great party. I’m enjoying myself.”

“Clara likes you enormously. Can you come to the office tomorrow and talk about the job?” He didn’t trust himself to look directly into Mark’s eyes, but he saw that extraordinary things were happening in them. For an instant he was afraid they were filling with tears but realized that they were simply shining with happy excitement.

“Fine. What time?”

“Why don’t you call? I’m always there by 10:00 or 10:30.” His hand started to lift to touch him, but he clenched his fist and held it stiffly at his side.

Mark came to the office the following afternoon. Walter went to the door to welcome him when Alice announced him and closed it behind him and held it while they kissed. “Here we are, darling. It’s really beginning now.”

They moved apart, and Mark looked around at the handsome room. “This is your office? I wouldn’t mind living here.”

“You’ll be spending a lot of time here. There’s a cubicle for my assistant at the end of the hall, but most of the time I’ll want you here with me.”

“I hope so.”

There was a moment of silence while they looked at each other, exploring each other in this new setting. Just by entering the office, Mark had acquired an executive look. Walter realized that there was nothing theatrical about his extraordinary good looks. He smiled impishly. “God. You’re here at last. Work’s going to be almost too exciting. I’ll take you to see Clara in a minute so you can talk about money. Oh, I want to show you the poster.” He went to him and put a hand on his shoulder and caressed it as he directed him to the desk.

“Don’t, darling. Please,” Mark murmured. “You know what it does to me. When can we be together?”

“We can go home as soon as we finish here,” Walter assured him quietly.

“Thank God. Day before yesterday seems a long time ago.”

Walter dropped his hand and moved a step away from him. “Here,” he said, pulling a large sheet of paper around to face them. Herbie had processed his mock-up and had sent a proof.

“My God,” Mark exclaimed. “It’s terrific. You dreamed that up? You really are the Boy Wonder. Nobody’ll know it’s me, thank God.”

“No. I’m rather pleased with myself. Did you have a good time last night after you left?”

“Yes, I missed you like mad, but Jack and his wife were very nice to me. I’m going to see them again next week. I like Elaine.”

“Good. Cultivate her. She’s going to be a star. I hear there’re girls in the background. It might be good for both of you to be seen around together.”

Mark lifted his eyes. For the first time, Walter saw resistance in them. “At moments I hate your being famous. I know. You have to think about things like that. It’s all very new to me. I’ll learn.”

“I didn’t mean–”

“I understand. If she’s queer too and we like each other, what could be better? All of a sudden, thanks to you, I’m beginning to have a life. I’ve always admired Jack as a writer, and we had a nice evening together and ended up pals. It’s amazing. As soon as I tell people I’m hoping to be working for you, they start paying attention to me. The next thing I know, they’ll start wondering about my sex life. Right. I’ll cultivate Elaine. If you’re sure she likes girls, we should get along very well together.”

“Now, listen. I told you people are bound to pay attention to you. They just need labels so they know what they’re looking at. I see it all the time. You shouldn’t resent it.”

“I don’t resent anything. Honest. That’s not what I meant at all. I’m foolish enough to want to belong to you and not think about anything else. I know if I’m going to belong to you, I’ve got to think about lots of other things. I’m in love with Walter Makin, not just the guy next door. Who am I to make waves? I have to get used to it, that’s all.”

“I think what we both need is to get home as quickly as possible. Come see Clara.”

Clara greeted him with brisk friendliness, and he left them together in her office. She returned with him to Walter’s.

“It’s all settled,” she announced. “He’s a willing slave. He says he doesn’t mind coming in to learn the ropes without pay until we get back from Europe. You didn’t tell me he lives so close to us.”

“I didn’t know myself until …” He looked at Mark for guidance. “When did you tell me?”

“Last night.”

“Right. I knew you were somewhere in the neighborhood.”

“He’s been our nearest neighbor for months. It’s all too cozy for words.”

“Well, that’s fine. Welcome.” He approached Mark and shook hands with him. He immediately felt the electricity crackling between them and promptly withdrew. “I can show you some things here. Then I thought I might take him to the theater and introduce him to people. I have some other things to do over there. If I don’t get back here, I’ll see you at home.” Clara left them. He could look at Mark. “Well? How is everything?”

“Wonderful,” Mark said. “I think I’ll get along with her. She’s fairly awe-inspiring, but she thinks you’re God Almighty, so we have something in common.”

“Let’s get that poster lettered so we can say we accomplished something, and then we can stop by the theater for a minute. After that, I’ll show you who I think is God Almighty.”

Before the weekend was over, it was established that Mark was welcome to drop in at Tenth Street when he was passing by. He even adopted a distinctive ring on the bell–two shorts and a long–to identify himself. He spent Sunday afternoon with them going over the plans for the coming season. It was settled that he would confine his modeling jobs to the morning and spend the afternoons with Walter.

“You like him, don’t you?” Walter asked Clara when he had left.

“Yes. He’s charming and wonderfully unspoiled, and he seems very intelligent. Still, he strikes me as something of an enigma.”

Walter’s heart skipped a beat. “How so?”

“I don’t know. He’s so self-contained. I have a feeling he must be hiding a deep, dark secret. I keep wanting to get to the bottom of him.”

“Be careful, Clarry. You sound as if you were getting a crush on him.”

“I shouldn’t think that would do me much good. I’m almost sure he’s in love with somebody. I wonder who it could be. Do you suppose Elaine could have been love at first sight?”

“Maybe,” Walter agreed, breathing more easily now that a girl had been mentioned. “He’s spoken of her several times.”

“Did you warn him about her preferences?”

“Of course not. That’s the sort of thing a man finds out for himself.”

“He’s so divinely handsome that she might change her mind.”

The following week gave Walter and Mark the skeleton of a life together. They spent every afternoon working at the office or out seeing people. They generally managed to save an hour at the end of the day to make love before Walter went home to Clara. It was so much better than what they had had since their first weekend together that it took them both a week to begin to grow dissatisfied with it.

“What are we going to do?” Walter asked as he prepared to drag himself out of bed for the fourth afternoon in a row. He had lifted Mark so that he lay on top of him, belly to belly, chest to chest. Walter’s hands were tangled in his hair. “Are we never going to get enough of each other?”

“I don’t think so, darling. It’s hopeless. We couldn’t get enough of each other even if we lived together. People have told me about its being like this, but I never wanted it, any more than you did. We’re still trying to get into each other’s skin.”

“It’s insane. I want to take you around the corner right now and stand in front of Clara with our arms around each other and tell her we adore each other. Can you think of a more ridiculous scene?”

“Yes, but I won’t tell you about it.”

Walter rolled them over so that he was lying on top of Mark and held his head and fed on his mouth. “You see? It’s starting all over again. If this sort of thing can happen, why does it have to be a secret? It’s a natural phenomenon. Why can’t we be proud of it?”

“I am.”

“You. You’re incorrigible. No, sweetheart, please go on being proud of it. I’m so proud of you. We work so well together, and I don’t mean just in bed. Now I’ve got to get up and dress and go, which I want to do about as much as I want to shoot myself. Before I got to Europe, we’re going to have another weekend together, all day and all night for at least three days. I’ve already started a plot.”

“Thank God you’ve got an active imagination. Do you think you can manage Europe without me?”

“No.”

“It’s hard to imagine.” Mark had begun to worry about it. It was hard to believe that Walter could be so dependent on him without seeming to realize it. Clara didn’t count; Mark was almost sorry for her. “It’s time to leave, darling.”