An Idol for Others (41 page)

“Now? Here?”

“Of course. You’ve been naked here before. You’re a model. I’ve seen the photographs. Why shouldn’t I see the real thing?”

“What is this? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours? We’re not children, damn it. What if Walter comes home unexpectedly?”

“I wouldn’t want that to happen any more than you, would I? We’re quite safe.”

“I did leave a note. He’ll know where I am.”

“Not if he doesn’t get it,” she said. “I’ve told you that he’s coming straight here at 7.”

It occurred to him that Walter might not mind. He had shown Clara the photographs. If he ever found out, he would have to forgive because of all that was at stake. Clara must be placated, whatever her motives might be. “You’re absolutely sure?” he asked, searching for the trap.

“Of course.” She looked at him blandly. She could lie as well as he. “Can you imagine my being willing to run any risks?”

He couldn’t He detected no sign of desire in her. Perhaps she simply wanted to see what Walter found worthy of love. “Can I hang my things in the next room?”

“Certainly. You’ll find a hanger in the closet.” When he had gone, she glanced again at the clock. She had achieved her major goal. Whatever happened after he was naked would simply fill out and elaborate her basic plan. She had almost too much time.

He returned naked except for his wristwatch and a towel around his groin and stood expressionlessly in front of her.

“What’s the towel for?”

“There’s nothing very special about the rest of me.” He choked back tears of humiliation. This was disgusting and degrading. She wanted to humiliate him.

“Let me be the judge,” she said coolly.

He jerked off the towel and threw it aside. She looked at his body. She was struck by an impression of great power in spite of its not being heavily muscled. On the contrary, all its lines were light and fluid but seemed to stem from a core of compact virility.

“Walter’s the only man I’ve seen naked. I think I’ve been missing something.”

“All right. Can I get dressed now?”

“Good heavens, no. I want you to do the poster pose for me.”

“I don’t remember it.”

“Of course you do. Walter must’ve worked it out with you. It’s pure Makin if ever I saw it. Go on.”

He looked at her for a moment, and then his body began to move. She stifled a gasp as she watched movement become poetry. A hip was flung at an angle, an hand placed on it. An arm shot up and bent at the elbow, and a hand dropped behind his head. He arched his back, thrusting his pelvis forward lasciviously. She had been fascinated by the photographs, but they hadn’t prepared her for the prominence the pose gave to his sex or that she could be tempted by it. It jutted toward her at eye level, a heavy, dense mass of power. Her eyes were transfixed. She didn’t think it was erect, but her limited experience left her in doubt. It’s head looked a great deal bigger than Walter’s.

“Don’t move,” she ordered. She rose and moved to him. She was almost as tall as he. She moved her fingers over a biceps and down into the hollow of his armpit and over his chest and along his groin and closed them around his sex. It felt firm but flexible. It filled her hand more than Walter’s. She stroked it but felt no response in it. She looked up at him. She noticed that his eyelids were thick and that when they were lowered, his face became startlingly sensual. “Does it get bigger than Walter’s?”

He broke his pose and stepped back from her. “Far from it.”

“Is Walter’s as special as he’s always led me to believe?”

“Yes.”

“Have you known many men?”

“Hundreds. Do you want to know about cocks? They usually come in three sizes: small, medium, and large. There are giants, but not very many. Walter isn’t one of them.”

“And you’re medium? I’d like to see the difference between you. Can’t you make it hard for a girl?”

“Of course, but not with you. You’re Walter’s wife.”

“I shouldn’t think that would make me unattractive. If anything, I should think you’d want to have me the way he has me. He still does, you know. I should think it would make you feel closer to him.”

“I don’t want to feel closer to him through other people.”

“Are you in love with him?”

“Yes.”

“Does he think he’s in love with you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he’ll tell you someday. Is it understood that you’re not going to say anything to him about the things you know?”

“I don’t see how I can now. I don’t want you to tell him about this. It seems to me I’ve given you complete control.”

It seemed to him too, and it frightened him. She wasn’t the sort to relinquish control, but he could see no flaw in the position she had created for him. “The only control I want is to go on seeing him. If you try to take that away from me, I’ll fight for him.”

“Who said anything about taking anything from you? I thought we ought to get to know each other better.” She moved close to him again but didn’t touch his sex. She moved a hand around to his buttocks and stroked them. Walter had made much of the beauty of his back. She ran her hand between them and felt a quiver beneath the skin. She had found the mainspring of his sexual response. The picture it conjured up was loathsome but suggested that Walter might be more enamored than she had bargained for. She glanced down and saw that his sex had filled out. She felt no vibration of desire directed toward her. She saw from the clock that she had almost another hour to keep him occupied. “Come along, darling,” she said.

“Where?”

“We’ll be more comfortable in bed. I want to try to make you hard just to see. You don’t have to do anything.”

He sensed danger everywhere, but he could think of no way of getting away from her without risking the truce he felt had been declared between them. He was sure she wanted to corner him into damning himself in Walter’s eyes, but he didn’t see how she could. He felt no desire in her hands when she touched him. He picked up the towel and glanced at his watch. Still more than two hours till 7. Danger was everywhere, but he couldn’t identify it.

They went into the bedroom, and he stood beside her while she opened out the big bed. She turned and dropped onto the edge of it and put her hands on his hips and took his sex in her mouth.

He wanted to pull away but forced himself to submit. In spite of himself, he began to lift a partial erection. Maybe she did just want to see him with a hard-on. If she accomplished her purpose, this episode might end. Her mouth was soft and expert. She was doing everything right, including the ministrations of the hand that fondled his balls and strayed back between his legs into the most sensitive area of him. For a brief period of time he remained on the verge of a vigorous response.

Self-consciousness intervened. She was Walter’s wife. He was permitting her intimacies that belonged to Walter. His groin began to ache with the strain of trying to respond. The moment passed. He couldn’t get an erection with her.

She acknowledged the impasse by lifting her legs onto the bed and pulling him down and stretching him out on his back. She moved down over him and continued her efforts.

She remained bundled up in her robe. She supposed queers might find the sight of a female body repellent. She didn’t want to add to her difficulties. There was no enjoyment in what she was doing, but it had become a challenge. If she could make him hard, arouse some semblance of desire in him, her triumph would be complete.

The persistence of her mouth on him locked him into a physiological need. His male pride was engaged too. He had to achieve an erection to show her that he could and to relieve the infuriating congestion in his groin. His hips rocked with the need for release. If he could believe that she wanted him, he might be able to take her. Perhaps Walter would want him to, to replace him and free him from her at last. A man whose wife had taken his lover would no longer feel bound to her. This thought achieved what her mouth had failed to do. He felt power gathering to fill and lengthen his cock. She redoubled her efforts and laughed as it escaped from her mouth. She lifted her head. Her mouth looked loose and wet.

“It’s getting so big. I can’t do it anymore.”

He sat up and seized her head, pushing it down. “Go on. With your tongue. At the end. Like that.” He dropped back and felt it tighten, harden, acquire independence. He no longer had to exert inner pressure to stiffen it. He let his whole body fall into a long slide of relief. He felt her lifting her head again. She held his sex upright and stroked it slowly.

“It’s all hard now, isn’t it? It’s not nearly as long as Walter’s, but I can hardly hold it. It’s so different from his. It looks beautifully brutal.”

He felt the shift toward orgasm tingling in him, and he lifted her hand away, finally master of himself. She moved up beside him and urged him up to his knees, straddling her.

“I want to look.” She lifted her hands to his chest and let them run down over him to rest lightly on his sex. “Magnificent, darling,” she said breathlessly.

He was proud to show himself to her as a man at last, but he didn’t dare risk the return of self-consciousness. He dropped forward onto her. As he did so, she pulled her robe open so that without seeing her body he felt her nakedness against him. Lying with her like this, he was disarmed by the sweetness of human contact. He didn’t want her, but he was capable of taking her if she wished. He could see no reason why she would want to create ugliness between them. Having gone this far, perhaps they could be affectionate rivals. Walter would like that. “I’m sorry it took so long,” he said. “You do that awfully well.”

“Walter likes me to suck his cock. I’m sure he likes you to as well.”

“Can’t you tell me what this is about? Do you want me to … to do it?”

She had caught a glimpse of his watch. She must be prepared to keep this going for at least another half hour. “That’s one way we could get to know each other better. You don’t feel any scruples about being unfaithful to him?”

He hesitated. She was able to speak plainly without any apparent anguish. He owed it to her to reply in kind. Perhaps they were achieving some sort of understanding. “He’s unfaithful to me with you,” he pointed out.

“That’s true. I don’t suppose I would’ve thought of it that way.”

“Can’t we all talk to each other? I know he wants to. He cares about you and your marriage and everything. If we all care about each other, I don’t see why something good can’t come of it.” He felt his cock swelling against her at the thought of clearing the way to a life with Walter without causing him pain.

“Don’t you think it’s asking a great deal to expect me to care about you?” she asked.

Her voice cut into him, catching him in a vulnerable moment, and made him feel like a fool for relying on decent feeling. He reserved judgment for another moment. “We’re here together. I wish you’d tell me why.”

“Walter wants you. It’s my business to know what he wants and decide whether he should have it. I decided about you a week ago.”

“Did you?” Anger was growing in him. He started to move off her, but she held him. If she wanted him, she wasn’t going to get him. “I suppose you’re going to tell me what you’ve decided.”

“You won’t do. Walter’s played with your body, and so have I. That’s all you amount to. I made your cock hard, but I knew it wasn’t worth the bother. What you really want is to be fucked up the ass.”

“Goddamn you.” He choked on the words. He seized her wrists and pinned her arms above her head. He stared down at her from under thunderous brows. He was breathing hard.

“Now what, he-man?” She laughed in his face, but her laughter stopped abruptly. She could feel his strength gathering in him. She was suddenly terrified. “No. Please, Mark. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Don’t.” She could feel the hard bulk of his sex pressing into her belly.

He released her wrists and with lightning speed got a grip on the top of her robe and yanked it down under her so that her arms were trapped in the sleeves. His body was moving on her with swift, implacable force. Her legs were wrenched apart. Her hips were seized in an iron grip. He entered her. “Oh, Christ, no! Oh, please. Don’t. You mustn’t. You’re raping me. Oh, please, Mark. You’re too big. You’re tearing me apart. Oh, Christ. It hurts too much. Stop. Please stop.” He continued to force himself into her. She tried to twist away from him, but his weight held her helpless under him. He seemed to grow huge within her, and she felt his belly come up hard against hers. She felt as if he had destroyed her, and then her body was pierced with bliss. She flung her legs around him and pulled him to her. “Oh, yes, darling. It’s heaven. Do it, darling, do it.” She was stunned that she wanted him. This was a vengeance she hadn’t dreamed of. She was being unfaithful to Walter with his lover, and he filled her body with bliss.

He rolled over onto his back and swung her into the air over him, disengaging himself from her. His sex slapped down on his belly, and he lowered her onto himself so that she was sitting astride his thighs. She managed to disentangle herself from the robe. He looked at her naked breasts expressionlessly from his lowered lids. “Put my cock inside you,” he ordered.

She raised herself and lifted it so that it could enter her and writhed on it to recapture the bliss it had offered her.

“Is it rape?” he demanded.

“No, darling. I want it,” she crooned. “It’s so different from Walter.” He gathered himself together and surged up so that her head slammed back against the bed. He held her and remained within her, looming over her, while she clung to him with her legs. Her arms were free at last to hold him. “Take me, darling,” she whispered.

“I know you now,” he said with cold fury. “You’re a killer and a bitch. You think you own him, but I’m going to take him away from you. Yes, he’s in love with me. I’m going to tell him everything that’s happened this afternoon. I’ll tell him I fucked you, and I’ll tell him why. He’ll never be unfaithful to me again. Not with you, goddamn you.”

She scarcely listened to him. His threats were harmless. Unless her timing went terribly awry, there were only a few moments left to enjoy him, and she craved more. She would be the victim of her own design. Walter had defined sex for her years ago, so that she was unprepared for discovery. He had always taken her in a way that made her a partner. Mark was doing something that made unfamiliar demands on her body. He was driving into her brutally, raping her, blissfully annihilating her. She stretched all of herself to receive his power and cried out as she began to feel the contours of his massive cock moving with miraculous freedom in her, opening her, still opening her so that she dissolved in a long, continuous orgasm. Muscles flowed against her under glowing skin. She placed her hands on him to imprint on them the feel of his rhythmically moving body. He was about to be ejected from her life, but she would still hold him. She heard indistinct sounds outside. The sounds she had been waiting for? She began to cry out to drown them.