An Indecent Longing (4 page)

“Then why did he send me to watch your back tonight?”

The stunned expression on her face told him more about her feelings for Ian than he would’ve thought possible. Up until now, she’d been able to hide behind that impassive mask. But now…

“I honestly have no idea. Shouldn’t you be able to tell me?”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have a clue.”

Which was both true and false. He had no idea why Ian had sent Ben to her tonight, but he knew Ian had feelings for her. And Ben was banking on that to make his evolving plan work.

She arched a brow at him, making his smile grow. “Then I guess we’re both in the dark.”

“So how do you know Ian?”

Her gaze skittered away again, though she covered it by waving her empty glass in his direction.

“I seem to be empty.”

With a nod, he stood and headed back to the bar, returning with the bottle. After he’d refilled her glass, he set the bottle on the table in front of her.

“So…how did you meet Ian?”

She drained half of her glass before answering. “At a hospital fund-raiser. I was mingling. He was… Well, I guess he was working. I don’t really know. We talked.” She shrugged. “I may have made an assumption about his interest that proved untrue. And that’s all there is to the story.”

Ben was pretty sure there was so much more to the story, but he didn’t push her. He was good at ferreting out information people didn’t want to be discovered. He just needed to be patient.

“So what were you doing at the hotel tonight?” He veered away from that line of conversation, planning to return to it when the alcohol had loosened her tongue some more.

Her relief couldn’t have been more obvious. “Having dinner with a friend.”

“A male friend?”

There went her eyebrows again. “And how is that any business of yours?”

Feisty and sharp-tongued. Ben was beginning to think his cousin might not deserve this woman, especially if he’d done something to hurt her.

“Well, you are sitting in my living room after midnight with a drink your hand. Maybe I’m worried someone will take offense to that.”

Her eyes rolled. “The only person you have to worry about taking offense is me.”

“Then I guess I better not piss you off.”

“Keep my glass filled and you won’t.”

She’d drained her drink again. At this rate, she’d be passed out in fifteen minutes.

The woman needed a keeper if she was always this reckless with her safety. She didn’t know him from Adam and yet she’d come home with him and was now drinking with him, clearly with the intent of getting drunk.

Wasn’t she worried he might hurt her? Hell, once she passed out, he could do whatever the hell he wanted with her.

Jesus, what if he hadn’t been there to bring her home? What if she’d gone off to some bar and picked up some random guy—

Better stop right there. She hadn’t gone home with another guy. He had a pretty good idea the only reason she’d come home with him was because Ian had vouched for him.

Which meant she must trust Ian’s judgment completely. So what the hell had happened between her and Ian? And why had Ben never heard even a whisper of it?

Picking up the bottle, he filled her glass again, though not as high as he had the last time. She didn’t seem to notice.

“I haven’t eaten all night.” He stood and headed for the kitchen. “You hungry? My cousin loves anything salty and I’m a chocoholic so whatever you like, we’ve probably got.”

He didn’t wait for her to follow him, but he heard her moving and then her quiet footsteps sounded. She must’ve taken off her shoes, like she was settling in. The thought made his blood burn.

Damn it to fucking hell.
This wasn’t how this scenario was supposed to play out.

Yeah, he was attracted to her but that wasn’t unexpected. He and Ian had a lot of the same tastes, and not only in women. It’s why they got along so well.

It’s why Ben had finally convinced Ian to leave the service before he got himself killed. Or worse…became someone Ben no longer recognized.

But Ben hadn’t brought Dorrie home to seduce her.

No, he’d brought her home so maybe Ian would see what he was missing in his life. Like companionship. A lover. Sex.

Then again, maybe he was reading this situation completely wrong. Maybe she’d followed him home because she wanted him.

A man can dream.

In the kitchen, he headed for the fridge. She stopped at the island, her gaze tracking his every move.

“Let’s see what we’ve got. Cheese, pepperoni, salami.” Protein would be good for her. Soak up some of the alcohol. “Do me a favor and check that cabinet behind you for crackers.”

She set her glass down with a subtle chink of glass on marble, and he turned with the meat and cheese in time to see her reach up to the top shelf for the crackers. Her shirt separated from her jeans to reveal creamy white skin, and his fingers twitched with the urge to touch.

Fuck, fuck, fuckety fuck.

He made sure he schooled his features into a bland smile before she turned back.

Her lopsided smile revved his heart as she shook a box at him. “Saltines were all I could find. You also said something about chocolate…”

I’ve got a bottle of Hershey syrup that I’d love to—

He turned back to the fridge and pulled out the bag of peanut butter cups he stashed near the back, where they weren’t completely frozen but just cold enough to be hard.

When he turned back to her and held the bag up, the very real smile on her face was enough to make him bite back a groan.

“Are you going to share?”

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, give him strength. Because if she continued to smile like that and kept making statements that his brain totally took the wrong way, he was going to need a time-out.

“Honey, they’re all yours.”

Her smile widened. “Such a nice guy. Don’t meet many of those in my world.”

“And what world is that?”

She looked away and began to gather the snacks he’d placed on the island.

“The medical world. Most men are only concerned with their careers or getting laid. There aren’t many men looking for any kind of relationship.” She smiled but he could tell it was fake. The little shoulder shrug was so much more expressive. “Then again, neither am I.”

“Why’s that?”

She shook her head. “Too busy. And there aren’t many men who can put up with a woman whose schedule doesn’t accommodate theirs.”

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right men.”

Now her mouth edged up in a true smile. “Are you trying to tell me you’re the right man?”

Dangerous territory. Again. So he smiled and nodded back toward the living room. “Let’s go sit down and you can decide that for yourself.”

She followed him silently, only the rustle of the candy bag let him know she was following.

By the time they’d returned to the couch, she’d nibbled her way around the outside of a peanut butter cup. As he watched her lick chocolate off her lip, he practically had to bite his own damn tongue to make sure he didn’t lean forward and kiss her.

Then she leaned forward and filled her glass again and took a healthy swallow.

And Ben resigned himself to a slow kind of torture and prayed for Dorrie to pass out before his cousin got home.

Dorrie knew she’d had too much drink and was close to passing out.

Some part of her brain knew exactly how much danger she was putting herself in and was flashing warning signs in a vain attempt to get her to do the right thing and go home.

The other half knew how comfortable she felt here. With Ben. And how attracted she was to him.

Which made her drink even more because, if she was going to even attempt to seduce Ben, she needed liquid courage.

She’d been thinking about exactly how to do that for the past hour, as she’d continued to make a dent in a very fine bottle of bourbon and ate enough so that she didn’t get sick. She’d never really seduced anyone before. The few relationships she’d been in had been instigated by the man.

She wasn’t quite sure why that was, and she was a little too drunk to consider it now. Maybe a lot too drunk.

Blank was probably tossing and turning in his drug-induced sleep right now. Over the time they’d spent together, he’d taken it on himself to be the big brother she’d never had. He’d told her to never go home with a stranger, to never let herself be that vulnerable.

Yet here she was, alone with a stranger in his home. And no one knew she was here.

But Ian had vouched for Ben. He’d sent Ben to protect her. And that made Ben safe.

Why?

At the moment, she didn’t care because she’d rather know if Ben wanted to spend a few hours screwing her brains out. She just didn’t know if she should just come out and ask for it or if he’d be turned off by her advance.

Sinking back into the couch, she propped her head on her hand and stared at one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen.

“So tell more about you, Ben.”

Sprawled into the overstuffed chair across from her, Ben smiled, his beautiful lips curved in a devastating grin. “What do you want to know?”

Her brain was way too fuzzy to think of a witty response to that. “Why did you bring me home with you?”

“Because you looked like you could use a drink.”

“Are you planning to hurt me?”

His eyes widened in shock before they narrowed and watched her with laser focus. “Why would you think that?”

She shrugged. “Men hurt women all the time.”

His jaw firmed. “I don’t.”

Men also lied to get what they wanted but she let that go. “Have you had many relationships?”

“A few. None that lasted. Or that I wanted to last.”

Everything went black for a second and she blinked, her head popping back up. Refocusing on Ben, she saw he’d shifted position.

What had they been discussing? Oh yeah. Relationships.

“Don’t you want a partner? Someone to…”

Someone to what? Why did she care if he was looking for a life partner? It wasn’t going to be her.

“Someone to spend my life with?” Ben helpfully supplied.

“Yeah, that one.”

He shrugged. “I’m not saying no but I’m not worried about it yet.”

“When will you worry about it?”

“When I get lonely.”

Lonely. Yes.
“Aren’t you ever lonely?”

She was lonely all the time. Unless she was with Risa or her mom or dad. Which was only about five percent of the time. Risa had been right earlier tonight. She needed something in her life other than soccer and yoga and work.

She just didn’t know how to go about finding what that was. Sex with Ben seemed like a good start.

Her eyes closed again and when she jerked awake this time, she realized he’d moved again. She must’ve been asleep for longer this time.

What had they been talking about?

Her eyes closed again and this time she didn’t try to keep them open.

* * * * *

And…she was out.

Dorrie had fallen asleep with her head on her hand, which looked awkward. She’d probably have a kink in her neck when she woke.

Ben couldn’t leave her like this. It wouldn’t be gentlemanly of him.

But he let himself stare at her for long seconds before moving.

Sliding off his chair, he closed the space between them and slid his arms under her body, lifting her against his chest.

Damn, she felt too slight in his arms. Like a strong wind would blow her away.

It made him want to hold her even closer, especially when she curled into him like she’d done it a thousand times before.

She felt like she belonged right here.

Exactly what you shouldn’t be thinking about, asshole.

This was Ian’s girl, even if Ian wasn’t going to admit it. And Ben didn’t poach.

But it won’t be poaching if Ian doesn’t lay claim to her.

Then Ben could step in and act on the heat they generated.

And if Ian does step in?

Well, then maybe they needed to discuss that sharing option.

It wouldn’t be the first time for Ben but it probably would be for Ian. Then again, Ian might do it all the time and Ben would never know. His cousin didn’t kiss and tell, never had.

Ben had actually considered that Ian might be celibate. But then this woman had appeared…

Dorrie sighed, her breath brushing against his neck and making his heart race.

Fuck.
He needed to put her down and walk the hell away before this became a Greek fucking tragedy.

And you putting her in Ian’s bed is going to make everything just fine, right?

Pushing the thought out of his mind, he tightened his arms around her and took the stairs to the second floor. He and Ian had gutted the second and third floors to create two master suites. Ian’s was on the second, Ben’s on the third.

Ian’s rooms were even more Spartan than the first floor. He’d painted the walls a darker shade of blue than the color downstairs, and the wood trim was all dark stain. The furniture finish matched the stain.

The king-size bed’s massive frame took up practically half the room. Ben had joked that Ian could get lost in there all by himself.

And when he lay Dorrie on the bed, she looked small and pale against the dark sheets.

Like she should be bookended by two men strong enough to keep her safe.

Shaking his head, he grabbed the quilt Ian always kept on the chair by the bow window and spread it over her. Their grammy had made that quilt for Ian a few months before she’d died. Ian had kept it in storage until he’d finished this room. Ben figured that meant Ian was staying for a while.

His watch vibrated, alerting him that someone had opened the garage door.

Since only one person had the code and no alarms had been triggered, that meant one thing.

Ian was home.

Go time. Let’s see if you really are as smart as you think you are.

By the time he made it back downstairs, Ian was in the kitchen, bottle of beer in his hand.

Leaning against the doorjamb, Ben watched his cousin take a deep breath and release it before downing half the bottle in one swallow.

“Hey.”

Ian turned to look at him, checking him out from head to toe before nodding. His cousin probably wasn’t even aware he was doing it. It was habit now, an ingrained response born from their childhoods.

“Any problems?” Ian watched him with a steady gaze.

Ben shook his head. “None I couldn’t handle. And nothing Dorrie couldn’t fix.”

Ian’s gaze narrowed and tension radiated off him in waves.

His cousin didn’t look like a badass. He didn’t have a trace of thug anywhere in his DNA, but when he looked at you like that, even the most hardened criminal knew enough to be frightened.

“What do you mean? Were you hit? Was she—” Ian’s jaw flexed. “Is she okay?”

Christ, I hope he doesn’t go ballistic. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Too late now.

“She’s fine. Not injured at all, not even a scrape.”

It was a measure of Ian’s fatigue that he actually looked relieved to hear that. Downing the rest of the bottle of beer, he tossed it in the recycling bin then reached for another.

“Good. Thanks. I’m heading to bed.”

Ian began to walk toward him but Ben didn’t move.

“Are you going to tell me why?”

Ben didn’t have to explain himself. Ian knew exactly what he was asking.

Shaking his head, Ian kept walking. “Nothing to tell. She’s an old acquaintance.”

“Sure she’s not more than that?”

Ian brushed past him on his way to the stairs. “I’m beat, Ben. Tomorrow.”

Yeah, it already was tomorrow, and Ben had the crystal-clear realization that he’d probably made a huge mistake.

Fucking hell. He didn’t usually make mistakes this big. He was known for his ability to make the right decision in a split second.

But this…

Shit.

“Ian, wait.”

“I’m fucking exhausted. I need to sleep before I gotta deal with the asshole client again in the morning.” Ian was halfway up the stairs now. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Torn between letting Ian discover for himself and not wanting to get the shit beat out of him, Ben decided to let the cards fall where they might.

* * * * *

Ian stopped cold in the open door to his room.

The woman lying on his bed had to be a mirage. A hallucination brought on by exhaustion. There was no
fucking
way in hell Dorrie was lying on his bed.

Except…

There she was.

I’m going to fucking kill Ben.

His goddamn cousin, the one person left in this world whom he actually cared about, was going to be missing a few teeth if Ian turned around and punched him in the face right now.

And even though he knew he’d never do it, his hands clenched into fists.

Goddammit.

He should turn and walk away. Right now.

But he couldn’t because his feet felt like they were stuck to the floor. Because he was a total ass.

So he stood there and watched her sleep. Like the complete asshole he was when it came to her. Just like when he’d seen her at the hotel tonight, he had the same reaction he always had to her.

He wanted her. His entire body ached with wanting her. His jaw clenched, every muscle in his body tensed, and his cock got stiff as a bat.

Over the past two years, he’d learned to hide his reaction but he couldn’t stop it.

Even though he knew who she worked for and what that bastard had done to his father… He still wanted her. More than any other woman he’d ever known.

His jaw began to hurt and his lungs ached from oxygen deprivation.

And he still couldn’t take his eyes off her.

He had dreams about her lying in his bed, more nights than he cared to admit. Dreams about all that smooth, pale skin stretched out on his sheets. In his dreams, she’d been blonde. Now she was a brunette. And even more beautiful than before.

His gaze traced the lines of her jaw, the rounded curve of her cheek, and the most adorable nose he’d ever seen on a woman. He wanted to run his finger down her nose, across her full lips, then he wanted to bend over her and seal his lips over hers and kiss her until they both couldn’t breathe.

Then maybe he’d pass out and hit his head so hard he’d forget how much he hated her.

Bullshit. You don’t hate her.

True. But he hated himself for wanting her.

“Ian.”

Ben spoke softly, probably because he didn’t want to wake Dorrie. Or maybe he realized that Ian was on the edge and was worried about what Ian would do.

He was right to be worried.

If he didn’t fucking love his cousin, he’d be pounding Ben’s head into the wall right now.

“Ian.”

With a concerted effort, Ian turned away from the door and met Ben’s gaze head-on.

His cousin’s gaze narrowed. “I’ll take her home.”

His jaw clenched at the thought. “What happened to Blank?” Ian kept his voice low. “She wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“He was shot. Dorrie took him back to her office, patched him up then came here. I don’t think she wanted to be alone so I asked her back here for a drink. I haven’t touched her.”

Some part of Ian’s brain registered the fact that he wouldn’t have been as upset at that as Ben might think.

Maybe that was his mind’s way of coping with a situation he knew was unwinnable. Or maybe he’d been spending too much time with Adam and Tristan. And Max and Jesse.

Both pairs of men had a relationship with a single female. And so far, they were making it work. Before he’d seen them in action, Ian would’ve said they were crazy to even try.

Now…

Staring at his cousin, he wondered—

No.

“Does she know we live together?”

Ben couldn’t quite stop his grimace from forming. “Not exactly.”

“Which means no.” Ian took a deep breath. “Jesus, Ben—”

“Before you say another word,” Ben held up one hand, “can you honestly tell me you don’t want her here? That you’re not so fucking turned on by seeing her in your bed that you don’t want to tell me to go away so you can join her?”

Fuck, yes.

Ian’s jaw set. “It’s complicated.”

Ben’s eyes rolled. “Everything’s fucking complicated, man. But I’ve never seen you react like this to another woman. And you didn’t see her in her office. If I hadn’t brought her home, she’d be in some bar, alone and drinking herself under the table. I figured you wouldn’t want that. Or was I wrong?”

No, he wasn’t wrong. “You should’ve taken her home.”

“She’s a grown woman. She was going out whether I wanted to take her home or not. Should I have just left her alone?” Ben crossed his arms. “She was fucking shaking and she was gonna head straight to a bar for a drink. Should I have just dropped her off at home and left?”

The thought of anyone else touching her made him want to put his fist through the wall. Yes, he was being totally irrational but at this moment, he didn’t care.

“No, but…
Christ
.” He rubbed a hand over his forehead. “It’s complicated.”

Ben’s eyebrows rose. “Then explain it to me. I think I’m smart enough to understand.”

Frustration made Ian’s teeth grind. “Don’t even go there. I don’t think you’re stupid. I never thought you were stupid.”

An old mistake Ian had once made, an off-the-cuff remark about Ben not going to college that Ben was never going to forget.

“Then tell me what the hell’s going on with you and this girl.”