An Indecent Proposition (31 page)

Except he’d said this arrangement was what he wanted. He’d pushed the two of them to go out without him, to show the world they were a happy little couple, not some freak show with three heads.

But here, in the privacy of Erik’s house, they could get their freak on all they wanted.

And they did. So much so, Jules would bet they’d broken the record for most orgasms in one night.

It’d be totally amazing…if she didn’t feel like Erik was slipping farther into the shadows. Backsliding.

And they were allowing him to do it.

Erik poured himself a glass of whiskey from the bar across the room and took a healthy swallow before turning back to them.

With a little nudge from Keegan, Jules headed for the couch. Keegan kept going and sat on the chair opposite her.

There was definitely something up with him tonight and it made her stomach curl in on itself.

If this night was like the rest, they’d have a drink—or Erik would have a drink—then they’d head up to Erik’s bedroom and make love for hours.

Since it was Friday and she had the day off tomorrow, she’d taken Erik’s advice and packed a bag. Just a small one but her mom had known what she had in it. She hadn’t said anything but Jules had seen that hint of worry in her eyes.

At least she wasn’t making herself sick over how she was going to pay the bills and keep them in their home.

Keegan had grinned when he saw the bag but he hadn’t said anything about it. He’d taken it from her and put it in the backseat. Where it remained, she realized. Keegan hadn’t brought it in with them.

Oversight? Or had he done it deliberately? She wasn’t sure what was going on in Keegan’s head but it was increasingly obvious that something was.

Erik could sense it as well, and his confusion was quickly turning to frustration. Walking over to the couch, he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips before sitting on the couch next to her.

Then he stared straight at Keegan.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

With Erik sitting so close to her, she felt how tightly he was holding himself. As if he was waiting for a blow.

A swirl of confusion settled low in her belly and she turned to Keegan. His expression made her want to reach out and stroke away the lines of tension around his eyes. She hadn’t seen them during dinner, when it’d just been the two of them. Now…

Her lungs felt tight, almost as if they weren’t working correctly.

Suddenly Keegan stood. “I’m not staying. I’m sorry, Jules. I just…” He stopped and ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t think I’d be very good company tonight. Dinner was amazing. Thank you for going with me. But…I think it’s better if I leave.”

She wanted to protest, wanted to reach for his hand and tell him not to go. Not because she didn’t want to be alone with Erik but because she wanted them both. Together.

She felt something intangible starting to tear apart at the seams.

Erik’s eyes narrowed and he rose to his feet as well. “Why?”

“I just told you.” Keegan spoke slowly, a hint of an edge in every word. “I don’t think I’ll be good company tonight.”

“Did something happen? Something between you and—”

“This has nothing to do with Jules.”

Erik’s frown held a world of confusion. “Then what the hell’s going on with you? You’ve been miserable at work this past week. You don’t talk much, and when you do, it’s like pulling teeth.”

“I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah, so have I, but I’m not acting like a dick.”

“No, you’re retreating again.” Keegan’s tone started to rise and the hair on Jules’s neck stood on end. “Well, I’m sick of playing this game, Erik. I’m sick of watching you curl back into your hole, where you can hide and everyone comes to you instead of you coming out to meet them.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the fact that after one date, you decided, for the three of us, that it would be better if
I
dated Jules. And you know, I’m not complaining. Not one fucking bit because there is no one else I would rather see.”

Erik shook his head, true confusion starting to replace the anger. “Then what the hell’s going on?”

“I have bent over backward to make this work.” Keegan turned toward the door and started to walk away before turning on his heel and getting in Erik’s face. “But it’s not. Because you’re still broken.”

Jules cringed as Erik’s eyes widened. He looked like Keegan had slapped him. “What the fuck—”

“Don’t. Don’t fucking deny it. I thought you were starting to come out of that hole you’d dug for yourself two years ago. The one that I allowed you to build, so yeah, I’ll take some of the blame for this. Hell, a month ago I would’ve taken all the blame. But I’m not going to. Not anymore.”

“I’m not living in a goddamn hole. I’m living my life the best way I know how to right now. I saw the way people looked at me that night we took Jules to dinner. I saw how they looked away. But did you notice how they looked at Jules? Did you even fucking care? No, you didn’t. And you know why? Because your guilt is always right there. You wear it like a fucking badge of shame. You’ve got quite the fucking martyr complex, don’t you?”

Both men were breathing like freight trains, staring each other down. Jules realized she was holding her own breath and sucked in air.

“Don’t try to turn this back on me.” Keegan sliced his hand through air. “If you really wanted to live your life, you’d grow a pair and come
out
with us.”

“That’s what this is about?” Erik looked dumbfounded. “Seriously, you’re pissed because I didn’t come out with you and Jules on your dates?”

“No, you know that’s not it. You’re deliberately misunderstanding me.”

“Then explain it so the feeble-minded among us can understand.”

Keegan pulled back as if Erik had punched him. “Is that what you believe I think about you? That you’re somehow mentally diminished because of the explosion?”

Erik’s hands curled into fists at his sides, and Jules wanted to reach for him, wrap her hands around his, and make him uncurl his fingers. She wanted to step between them and make them stop but she was afraid they might not even see her.

“Isn’t that exactly what you think? You’ve been treating me like a fucking invalid for years—”

“Because that’s how you
acted
. God damn it, Erik—”

“No.” Erik held up one hand. “Just…enough. It’s bad enough you finally got the nerve to say exactly what you’re thinking, but that you did it in front of Jules makes it so much worse.”

Erik turned to her and she saw a torrent of pain and anger in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Jules. I think it’s probably best if Keegan takes you home tonight. I don’t think I’ll be in the right frame of mind to entertain.”

“Erik—”

She and Keegan spoke at the same time but Erik cut them both off.

“That’s it. I’m done. You’ve said what you wanted to say. Apparently you’ve bottled that up for a few years. Do you feel better now, Keegan? I fucking hope so.”

Erik turned to face Jules then and he wiped away the furious look on his face for her. But he couldn’t rid himself of the deeper flush on his cheeks. That flush highlighted his scars and made her chest ache.

He’d never be without them. She knew that.

And maybe, just maybe, he was too damaged emotionally to ever have a normal relationship again.

“I’m sorry for trying to spare you drama we’d cause whenever we went out together, all three of us. It’d be a circus. You know that, Jules. We were both too fucking selfish to give you up. I honestly thought this was the best solution for all of us. Obviously, I was wrong.”

“Erik, stop.” She heard the pleading in her voice but couldn’t stop. “Why don’t we all take a deep breath and sit down and talk about this.”

Erik just shook his head. “I think we’re beyond that, babe. And I’m truly sorry.”

Then he bent over the couch, over her, and sealed their lips together. “Let Keegan take you home. I’ll talk to you soon.”

With one last, burning look at Jules, Erik turned and walked out of the room.

AN INDECENT PROPOSITION

PART V

Chapter One

“You need to go back. You need to talk to him.”

Keegan’s hands tightened on the steering wheel as he drove Jules home. He heard her voice through the pounding of his pulse in his ears, heard the concern. Still, he shook his head.

“No. He made himself clear enough. He doesn’t want to talk to me and he can be damn stubborn when he’s angry.”

Silence descended, so thick he swore he felt it press against his skin.

He glanced at Jules to find her staring at him with wide eyes.

“Angry? Are you serious?” She sounded shocked. “You practically tore his heart out. How can you not see how hurt he was?”

Because Erik wasn’t hurt. Erik didn’t get hurt anymore. The scar tissue from the burns had toughened him, inside and out.

Keegan’s chest tightened but he forced himself to say, “He’s not hurt. He’s pissed because I told him the truth. Everyone’s let him wallow for too damn long. Revenge is going to eat at him and warp him until there’s nothing left of the old Erik and I can’t watch him do that.”

“Then you have to help him.”

Frustration tasted like acid in his throat. “Do you think I haven’t tried? Do you think I don’t want the bastard who did this to him to rot in jail? Of course I do. But if I tell Erik to send the information Katrina dug up to police, he’ll say no.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yeah, I do. He wants to go after Eggert himself. You haven’t known Erik as long as I have, Jules. You don’t know him like I do.”

She fell silent again and he felt her tension ratchet up another notch.

Sonuvabitch. You’re an idiot. Are you fucking trying to alienate her?

Between this tension with Erik and the uncertainty with Jules, his head was spinning. What the fuck was wrong with him? His stomach rolled and his fingers began to ache with the force of his hold on the steering wheel.

“Shit, Jules, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“No.” She held up one hand and he bit off the rest of his words. “No, you’re right. I don’t know either of you as well as you know each other. But have you considered that maybe you’re too close to the situation to see it clearly?”

He wanted to growl, he was so fucking frustrated. Yes, he was too damn close to the situation. He and Erik had known each other too long and cared for each other too damn much not to be.

He loved the guy like a brother, their lives entangled in so many ways. He couldn’t imagine going to the lab and not working beside him or spend a weekend without catching a meal or hanging out. Just the thought created a knot in his stomach.

Since the accident, their relationship had become even more complicated as they spent more time together. Other friends had drifted away. Some because of Erik’s accident, some because they just hadn’t done enough to keep them close.

And then they’d added Jules to the mix…

Jesus
.

He took a deep breath. “What I think is that Erik just needs a few days to cool off. Katrina laid a huge amount of shit on him all at once. He needs to process.”

“And then what?” Jules’s disbelief came through loud and clear. “You think he’ll just decide that you’re right and that’s the end of it?” She paused. “Would you?”

No, of course he wouldn’t.

Still… “He just needs some time. Kat waylaid him—”

“No.” She turned more fully in her seat toward him. “You know this isn’t his sister’s fault, right? She’s just the messenger.”

One who hated him enough to try to screw up his relationship with Erik. “Who’d be more than thrilled if Erik and I never worked together again.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I know it. She told me as much after Erik decided he wasn’t going through with any more operations.”

“Well, obviously he didn’t listen to her because you two are still in business together.”

Yeah, they were.

But for how long?

Christ, had just a few words completely screwed up their working and personal relationships?

Damn Katrina—

No. No, he knew that wasn’t fair. As much as he’d like to blame Erik’s sister for this, he knew it wasn’t her fault. Not all of it.

She loved Erik. At least as much as she could love anyone, she loved her brother. And Erik had always been protective of her. Erik had bit his tongue when he and Katrina had started to date. And when they’d gotten engaged, the only thing Erik had said was, “You better be really sure you know what you’re doing because if you hurt her…”

He’d left the rest unsaid, but Keegan had known what Erik meant.

And when he and Katrina had called it off, Keegan had expected Erik to call off their fledgling partnership.

He hadn’t, though, but that was only because Kat had told him not to. At least she’d been able to get past the bitterness that had consumed her to see that what he and Erik were building was better than anything they could have made apart, and they’d gone on to build TinMan into the company it was today.

Keegan had to believe they’d survive this as well.

“Keegan?”

He sliced Jules a quick glance, saw the worry in her eyes…and realized he wasn’t the only one with something to lose here.

“Yes?”

“Promise me you’ll go back and check on him. As soon as you drop me off.”

“I plan to.” The words dropped out of his mouth immediately and he knew he hadn’t said them just because she wanted him to.

Her mouth twitched into a sad smile that quickly faded. “Good.”

He grabbed her hand lying on her thigh. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out.”

Her smile reappeared for an even shorter amount of time. “I hope so.”

Hating the worry he heard in her voice, he squeezed her hand. “He’s stubborn, not stupid. We’ll get through this. Just…don’t abandon us.”

Her fingers slipped between his and clung. “Of course not.”

But she looked less than reassured when he forced a smile for her.

And the pit in his stomach opened a little wider.

They reached her house minutes later, the silence widening the chasm growing between them. A chasm he didn’t know how to fix. He had way too much stuff running through his head right now.

Most of the house was dark; the only light he could see shone through the window next to the front door. Jules’s mom was probably already in bed. It was close to midnight and most of the houses on the street were dark.

The growing need to turn around and drive back to Erik’s made every muscle in his body tighten. They should hash this out now. The three of them. Together.

But he knew if they did, he and Erik would go right back to yelling at each other. And he didn’t want Jules to see that.

We’ll figure this out. Then we’ll worry about Jules.

Jules got out of the car without saying a word. She didn’t wait for him to open the door for her. She even got to her bag in the backseat before he could help her.

Walking beside her to the front door, he wanted to wrap his hand in the long, silky hair that hung down the back of her coat. Wanted to pull her against him and seal his mouth over hers and kiss her until she melted against him.

He wanted that so badly, he had to fist his hand in his pocket to keep from reaching for her.

When she stopped at the door and turned to face him, her sad excuse for a smile made him want to punch the brick wall.

“Thanks for dinner. I really…” She sighed. “You know I enjoy spending time with you, don’t you, Keegan?”

His heart began to race but instead of pumping his fist in the air, he settled for a nod, lifting his hand to cup her cheek. “Yeah, I do. And I hope you realize the feeling’s mutual.”

She nodded, rubbing her cheek against his palm. “Talk to Erik. And call me. Soon.”

“I will. Jules…”

Her lips curved into a sweet smile. Rising on her toes, she pressed a heated kiss against his lips. “Good night, Keegan.”

* * *

Erik stalked through his house, wanting to throw something, but the person he wanted to throw something at wasn’t here for target practice.

Instead, he headed to the basement.

When he’d remodeled the house, he’d had the basement completely redone into a gym. He’d made sure the area was open and bright. And had no mirrors. That’s the main thing he’d hated about going to physical therapy…all those damn mirrors.

Now dressed in sneakers, gym shorts, and a tank top, he started with the bench press but shoving heavy metal around wasn’t doing it for him tonight.

So…treadmill.

Setting the speed at a steady eight-minute mile, he pounded away. It was always slow going at first. He used to run outside but after the accident… Well, he didn’t do much of that anymore.

Mostly he used the gym at the lab. They’d had it installed as an incentive for their employees but he and Keegan—

His foot nearly slipped and he had to jump onto the stationary sides to get his balance.

Damn him.

What right did Keegan have to talk to him like that?

The right of a best friend, maybe?

His jaw tightened until he swore it’d pop out of joint.

But Keegan had him all wrong. How could his best friend not know how important the information was that his sister had brought?

How could Keegan expect him to ignore the fact that their major competitor had tried to cripple their business and nearly killed him in the process?

All right, no. Keegan didn’t want him to ignore it. Keegan wanted him to pass it off to the cops. Who’d already bungled the investigation the first time, according to his sister.

Anger began to burn in his gut again and he kept pushing the speed higher.

It’d been three fucking years since the explosion. Three years of pain and heartache and operations and coming to terms with the fact that he would never be the same person he’d been before.

But
you
are the person Jules takes to bed with her.

He nearly lost his footing again but managed to keep steady. Punching in a lower speed, he adjusted his pace and sucked in air until he could breathe regularly. He hadn’t realized he’d been gasping.

Would she have liked him before the explosion?

He’d like to think the answer to that question was yes but…he wasn’t the same person.

That guy had been interested in two things—making money and getting laid. Okay, three. Partying.

And three years ago, Jules hadn’t been old enough to drink and had been supporting her mom through her cancer treatment.