An Indecent Proposition (32 page)

Christ, he was an ass.

But that didn’t change the fact that Keegan continued to want to stick his head in the sand about what had happened. Wanted to let it go.

He couldn’t let it go.

With a sigh, he brought the treadmill to a walk then finally to a full stop.

Sweat dripped down his body, his clothes soaked through. He should go upstairs and take a shower then head to bed. Hopefully he’d worn himself out enough that he could sleep.

Because he had a hell of a lot to sleep on.

Grabbing a towel from the pile on the weight bench, he turned—

And found Keegan sitting on the stairs, staring at him.

“You almost killed yourself on that thing.” Keegan shook his head. “Erik—”

“Why are you here?”

Keegan drew in a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “Jules thought we should talk.”

Erik tilted his head back. “Just Jules?”

Keegan’s jaw tightened. “No, not just Jules.”

Tossing the towel away, Erik took the stairs two at a time, passing Keegan without a glance, knowing he’d follow.

Without a word, he headed for the kitchen to get some water, Keegan close at his heels. The anger he thought he’d worked out of his system was creeping back, curling his hands into fists.

Fuck water. He needed something stronger.

For so long he hadn’t been able to drink alcohol. It had fucked with all the pain pills and antibiotics and other shit he’d been taking. In the past year, he’d been able to tolerate a drink or two at a time. But he hadn’t gotten crazy, sloppy drunk. Not like he used to do. Before the explosion.

Some people might say he’d matured.

Well, tonight was the night he proved them wrong.

As he stalked to the bar near the fireplace, he was acutely aware of Keegan’s measured footsteps behind him. For some reason, the sound made him furious. He felt the rage building, felt it singe his stomach.

By the time he’d poured a glass of whiskey and downed half of it in one swallow, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold his tongue this time.

Earlier, with Jules between them, he’d barely kept his tone civil. Every word Keegan had said had made him bleed. Erik wanted to return the favor.

Keegan walked up beside him and poured himself a drink when Erik didn’t offer.

They stood next to each other in silence for at least a minute.

Finally, Erik turned to face his best friend. But he didn’t say anything and Keegan took the cue.

“I don’t think you’re an invalid.” Keegan continued to stare at the wall in front of him. “And I’m not unaware of how people looked at Jules that night.”

Erik waited, knowing Keegan wasn’t finished. Not trusting himself to say something that would make them start yelling at each other again.

And this time, he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t say something irrevocable. The fact that Keegan had returned didn’t mean much. Erik had known he would. If he hadn’t come back tonight, he would have tomorrow. Keegan couldn’t bear to let things fester.

Erik could go days without talking if someone pissed him off.

“You want to go after Eggert,” Keegan said. “I get it. I do. I just…don’t think you’ll be satisfied with the result.”

Erik frowned. “What do you mean?”

With a sigh, Keegan turned to face him, his expression tired. Sad. “Short of blowing up his lab, what can you do to him that will make what you went through better?”

Erik wanted to rip into Keegan’s logic, tear it apart bit by bit. He’d had years to think about what he would do when he discovered who’d torn his life apart. None of those scenarios involved handing over the information to the police so they could fuck up the investigation even more than they had already.

“Nothing will ever make what I went through better.”

“Exactly.” Keegan’s steady gaze held his. “Give the information to the cops and let them handle it.”

Erik held on to his temper by a thread. “And what if they don’t do anything? What if they can’t do anything? No. I’ll handle this my way. And I need you to be onboard with that.”

“And if I’m not?”

“Then I need you to back away.”

“Erik—”

“No. Just listen to me.”

Keegan looked like he was biting his tongue but he nodded.

Erik took a deep breath. “You have no idea how I feel. How utterly fucking pissed off I have been for so damn long. It’s eating me up from the inside. For three years, it’s been a living, breathing cancer in my gut. The rage never goes away. All the therapy in the world isn’t going to make it better. No amount of talking about it or ignoring it is going to ease it. Bringing down Eggert for what he did… That will make it better.”

“How do you know? Erik, you could end up just like the bastard who did this to you.”

“Do you honestly think I’m going to go blow up his labs? Do you really think, after what I went through, that I would purposely put anyone else’s life in danger the way mine was?”

Keegan had the grace to look ashamed. “No, I don’t think you’d ever do anything like that.”

“Then why can’t you trust me to handle this?”

Keegan shook his head and looked into his almost-empty glass. “I told you. I don’t want you to crawl in that hole again.  The one where all you think about is screwing the person who screwed you. I thought…”

Since Erik didn’t know where Keegan was going with that, he said, “You thought what?”

“I thought we were going to take our relationship with Jules to the next level.”

Erik’s guts twisted and he tried to tamp down the surge of emotion. “Have you really thought about what that relationship might be? Seriously, how does a three-way relationship work in the real world? And she’s only twenty-two. We gave her enough money to do whatever the hell she wants. She’s talked about culinary school. The good ones are in New York and Philadelphia, and those are only the local ones. The great ones are in Europe. Do we really want to tie her here?”

Keegan’s gaze remained on his glass. “I’m not talking about tying her anywhere.”

“But
we’re
tied to this place. This is our home. This is where we work. Our entire lives are settled
here
.”

Keegan’s jaw flexed. “Do you think I haven’t considered these same things?”

“I’m not really sure you have.” Erik shook his head when Keegan finally shifted his gaze to meet his. “No, just listen. I’m trying to be reasonable here. We set this up thinking it was for one night. And it was a damn great night. So fucking great neither of us wanted to let it go.”

“And neither did Jules.”

“No, she didn’t. But, god damn, she’s young. And she’s got dreams. Just like we did when we were her age. We made our dreams a reality. Why shouldn’t she have the same opportunity?”

Keegan poured himself another drink then began to pace. “Maybe I don’t want to be fucking reasonable about this.”

“And maybe it’s not our call.”

“Then why don’t we let her make that decision herself?”

“Because I see her struggling to work out her position between the two of us and maybe there’s just no solution.”

Keegan stopped in front of the fireplace, spearing him with a glance. “And what the fuck does that mean?”

Erik took a deep breath. “Maybe that means I step back.”

Keegan shook his head. “From what?”

“From between the two of you.”

Keegan shook his head, a faint sneer on his lips. “And what would that solve? Do you think she’ll want to continue seeing only me?”

“Don’t you?”

Keegan’s eyes flashed wide. “Christ, Erik. If she wants to continue seeing anyone, it’ll be you. Don’t you see the way she looks at you? She’s halfway to being in love with you and you want to back away and let me take your place? No way.”

“Fuck that, Keegan. I see a young woman who’s had a rough life and now she’s dating two men who gave her a shitload of money and great sex. She hasn’t had to deal with the reality of a relationship with two guys and how she’ll be treated by the rest of the world. You just don’t get it—”

“Oh no, I get it. You’re letting your experience overshadow every aspect of our lives—”

“We have separate lives, Keegan. Or have you forgotten that?”

Keegan blinked. “I thought we were partners.”

“We are. We’re business partners.” And the sooner Keegan realized that their business partnership and their friendship should no longer mix with their personal relationships, the better.

“We’re friends first.” Keegan’s voice held a fierce tone. “We agreed that’s how we’d run our business.”

“Of course we are. But we’re not lovers. We don’t owe each other every minute of every day. At some point, we’re going to have wives and children and actually spend a holiday apart.”

Eyes narrowed, Keegan stared at him with an intensity that practically burned. “Is that what this is all about? You want me to back off?”

Just the thought made Erik cringe but he covered it with a shrug. “I’m saying maybe we’ve become too dependent on each other.”

Keegan just stared at him, like he was trying to read his mind. If he could, he’d probably only hear static.

Erik was forcing words out of his mouth, but he wasn’t sure they were what he wanted to say. He only knew he had to do something.

In some ways, Keegan was right. Erik could lose himself bringing down Eggert. At this moment, it was a price he was willing to pay. Even if it meant he lost Jules and Keegan.

You don’t really mean that.

 Yes, damn it, he did.

And now he was fucking arguing with himself.

He needed to stand firm. For all of them. He’d been an anchor around Keegan’s neck for too damn long, stopping the guy from having a life of his own. This whole situation just proved it.

“You’re actually serious, aren’t you?” Keegan shook his head. “You’re going to trash this relationship for revenge?”

Erik rolled his eyes, forcing himself to sell a position he didn’t completely believe in. “You sound like a damn TV show. That’s not what I’m doing. Damn it, Keegan. How can you be so thick? I’m practically giving Jules to you on a plate and you’re fighting me!”

“She’s not a fucking carnival prize!”

A bright flush suffused Keegan’s cheeks and now Erik saw not only anger but hurt in his friend’s eyes. Stiffening his back, he shook his head.

“I know that. I also know she shouldn’t be stuck in between us any longer.”

Keegan slammed his glass onto the nearest table, so hard Erik expected it to shatter.

Good metaphor, huh?

“Jules insisted I come back here. She wanted me to talk some sense into you. But you’re just not going to listen.”

“I heard everything you said. I just don’t think you’re right.”

Silence fell and every breath he took felt like he was drawing broken glass into his lungs. But he kept his expression clear, refused to let Keegan see his conflicting feelings.