An Indecent Proposition (35 page)

“Yeah. And how the hell do I find that?”

“Sometimes,” Sandra’s smile turned bittersweet, “sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you just have to barrel through and hope like hell that everything comes out for the best in the end.”

“And what if it doesn’t? What if I fuck this all up by forcing him too far, too fast?”

“Then you’ll know you at least tried something. But first, you need to apologize to this girl. It sounds like you really screwed her over.”

They had. They’d both treated her like shit. He should’ve called, should’ve checked in on her. Instead, he’d avoided her like a coward.

“I know. I have to call her, apologize. Beg for mercy, even. But…”

Sandra’s eyebrows quirked. “Erik.”

“Yeah.”

“Well now, that’s the trickier problem, isn’t it? You two haven’t talked at all?”

She made it sound like they were teenage girls having a snit. And she probably wasn’t far off the mark. He did feel somewhat like a teenager, all raging hormones and out-of-control emotions.

“Not since it happened. We’ve avoided each other this entire week and—”

“Yeah, no shit, Keegan. Haven’t you noticed everyone’s been giving you two a wide berth? They figured it would pass in a few days. When it didn’t, they came to me, figured I’d have the guts to find out what’s going on.”

Keegan’s lips twitched into a quirky grin. “Don’t you always know everything?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes, I do. And don’t you forget it. Now. What are you going to do about your Erik problem? Because I think once you fix that, everything else might fall back into place. But I think you need to be prepared for when it doesn’t.”

* * *

Erik saw Sandra walk into Keegan’s room.

They were talking about him. And Jules. And this whole fucking mess.

He wanted to be pissed. He couldn’t help but envy Keegan for having someone to talk to.

He also knew Sandra had approached Keegan first because she knew Keegan would give her the ammunition needed to approach him next.

Sandra might not have been in the Navy herself, but she would’ve made one hell of a submarine commander. She worked better under tense circumstances.

And it had been tense this past week.

He and Keegan needed to talk. He knew that. He even knew a lot of this problem was his fault.

Even though Keegan couldn’t—

No.

He had to stop that. Keegan had only been trying to help, although he’d gone about it totally the wrong way.

Because I basically cut him off at the knees.

And he hadn’t called Jules.

Hell, that might be worse than any of the other shit he’d pulled the last time they’d been together.

He should’ve stayed. They should’ve hashed this out together. Like adults.

Christ, he’d been an idiot. Worse, he’d hurt two of the people he cared most about in the world.

So now what did he do?

“Hey, Erik, you okay? You’ve been standing here for a few minutes.”

Erik turned to find one of his tech assistants standing behind him. Her expression held a little worry, a little apprehension, and a whole lot of “Damn, I really hope he’s not losing it again.”

“I’m fine, Lynne. Did you need me for something?”

Relief at his normal-sounding answer made her pretty face soften immediately.

“Yes, actually, we think we may have found a way around that short in the circuitry panel.”

He waved a hand in front of him to have her lead and Lynne smiled. Right at him. Looking him in the eyes, her gaze never sliding to his scars.

He saw no sign of pity at all.

When had their team stopped looking at him like he was a freak?

Had he really been so blind?

Following Lynne into the main lab, he found two more assistants and Tommy, another engineer, all grinning like kids on Christmas morning.

It was infectious.

He smiled for the first time that week. And hoped like hell that he and Keegan could repair their friendship as easily.

* * *

“Jules. Hi. It’s Erik. I know you probably don’t want to talk to me but I’d like to see you. If only to apologize.”

He paused, tried to think of what else he could say to her answering machine that wouldn’t sound like so much whiny bullshit on Friday morning.

He couldn’t, so he finished with, “Please call me back. I look forward to hearing from you.”

The second he hung up, he wanted to erase that lame-ass message and start over.

Hell, he should’ve pleaded and begged and messaged her a picture that had him on his knees begging her to talk to him.

Then she’ll think you’re a nutcase.

Tossing the phone on his desk, he leaned back into his chair, barely registering the low hum of voices from outside his office.

Yesterday had been pretty much a whirlwind after he’d seen Sandra go into Keegan’s office. One of their engineers and his assistants had found a way to keep their new board from shorting out. If they hadn’t found the flaw, the board would’ve been useless.

He and Keegan had actually smiled at each other across the room as they talked with their team, congratulating everyone. The day had ended with pizza and beer in the company common area.

Somehow, he and Keegan had managed not to say a word to each other.

Erik hadn’t wanted to make a scene, not at the office. He’d planned to talk to Keegan today. He’d figured the offices were neutral territory. He’d corner him in his office after he’d spoken to Jules and—

His phone rang. The name on the screen read Jules and his heart began to pound.

Taking a deep breath, he hit answer. “Hello, Jules. Thanks for calling me back.”

“Hi, Erik. How are you?”

Better now that I’m talking to you.
“I’m fine. And you?”

“I’m good, thanks. I’m glad you called. I was thinking maybe we could get together tonight. If you don’t have plans. I’d like to talk to you.”

Just the two of them? Alone? “Sure. That’d be great.”

She exhaled, as if she’d been holding her breath waiting for his answer. “I thought maybe I could come to your house. Would that be okay? I’d have you over for dinner but my mom has book club—”

“No, really. My house is fine. How about seven?”

“Great. I thought I would cook for you, if you wouldn’t mind?”

Why would he mind? “Sure. Of course. That’s fine.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then. And Erik?”

“Yeah?”

“Just so you know, I plan to see Keegan tomorrow night.”

She didn’t want to see the two of them together. He took a deep breath. “No problem.”

He swore he heard her sigh through the phone. “I just want to be upfront—”

“Jules. It’s not a problem. I’d like the chance to talk to you alone as well.”

She paused. “Okay. Then I’ll see you tonight. Bye.”

She hung up before he could say anything else.

Setting the phone back on the desk, his first instinct was to head for Keegan’s office. To talk about how they could work on her from opposite sides and get her back into bed between them.

Which meant he and Keegan would actually have to speak to each other.

Then again, maybe he’d wait until they’d talked to her separately, found out what she was thinking.

If the only reason she wanted to see each of them was to tell them it was over… Well, that would be painful.

If she was talking to them separately to tell them she only wanted to date one of them… What would he do?

He knew what he would’ve done before the explosion. If she’d picked him, he would’ve taken her up on her offer then he would’ve used every skill at his disposal to get her back in bed with him and Keegan.

Yeah, right.

Damn conscience. But it was right. He would’ve told himself she’d made her decision and he was only abiding by what she wanted. He’d have taken what she offered.

Could he do that to Keegan now? Could he stab him in the back over a woman? After everything they’d been through together?

Shit.

He didn’t think he could. Hell, he’d like to think he
wouldn’t
do it. Ever.

He picked up the phone. Put it back down.

And the damn thing rang.

He snatched it up again. His sister.

Well, hell. A visit and a phone call in the space of a week. What the hell was wrong now?

For a brief second, he considered letting it go to voice mail.

Selfish bastard.

He answered.

“Hello, Katrina.”

“Erik. I’m so glad you picked up. I…I’d like to talk to you about something.”

He sat up, hearing something in his sister’s tone he hadn’t heard in years. A fragility that actually made him doubt for a second that it really was Katrina.

“Are you okay, Kat? You sound shaky.”

“Actually,” she laughed, a sound so fake he really began to worry, “that’s why I’m calling. I know this is completely and utterly over and above the limits of what I should expect, even from my brother, but…”

“Just spit it out, Kat. What do you need?”

A huge sigh. “I need a date for a company function, and since I don’t know any suitable men and it’s kind of a big deal, he must be decently handsome and well-spoken but willing to keep his mouth shut for long periods of time. And he has to act like he adores me.”

“Uh…” Kat’s request was so unexpected, Erik’s brain stuttered to a stop for a second. “Seriously?”

“Yes. I’m dead serious.”

He paused again, his brain finally starting to turn. “And why would you want to take a guy to a company function? You never have before. What makes this one different? And—”

“I don’t need the third degree, Erik.” Her voice bit at him like a lash. Then she drew in an audible breath. “I just…I need you to help me with this. Please.”

There it was again. That fragile note in his sister’s voice. Kat never let her nerves show. It’d been drilled into them by their mother from birth.

Never show your weakness. Someone will use it against you.

“Just to be clear,” he wanted to be absolutely sure what she needed from him, “you want me to set you up with someone to take you to a party and have him be your devoted slave for the night.” He almost added, “And you don’t have one friend who’s willing to set you up,” but quickly swallowed that.