An Unlocked Heart(Collars & Cuffs Stories) (18 page)

Alex pulled the green band from his wrist, flung it down on the floor in front of Leo, and pushed past him out into the street. Walking rapidly toward the bus stop, Alex had trouble seeing where he was going. He tried to blink away the hot tears that just kept coming. Not once did he look back to see if Leo had followed him out. Not once.

A
LEX
let himself into the house and headed straight for the stairs. He was emotionally exhausted, and he didn’t want to see anyone. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t his night. His mother came out of the lounge and caught sight of his face. Christ, he probably looked a wreck.

“Alex? What’s the matter? I thought you were out with… with Leo.” She spoke his name as if it left a sour taste in her mouth. Yeah, well, Alex could sympathize with that feeling right now.

“He got called into work,” Alex said quickly, the lie sticking in his throat. He tried to carry on up the stairs, but she hadn’t finished.

“Have you two fallen out or something?” There was the faintest glimmer of emotion in her eyes. Alex prayed it wasn’t what it looked like, ’cause from where he was standing, it sure as hell looked like hope. And ironic though that may have been right now, he wouldn’t like to think his mother was even
slightly
happy that her son might’ve broken up with his boyfriend. ’Cause what did that say about
her
?

“Sorry, Mum, I just need to put my head down for a bit, okay?” Alex gave her a tight smile. “I’ve got a shocking headache.” She grunted but let him go.

Alex went into his room, shut the door, collapsed on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling.

His thoughts were all over the place. Once the tears had dried up, all the way home he’d been unable to stop thinking about the club. Before, BDSM porn had always turned him on, but he’d never really thought about being part of a lifestyle like that. And it looked a much scarier world in real life. He’d been unable to turn off the images of what he’d seen in the club. Although it made him ashamed to think it, Alex knew some of the things he’d seen were stuff he’d contemplated doing, if only in his deepest fantasies. Things he wouldn’t ever share with another living soul, not even Em—or Leo, if it came to that.

At least now, Alex could look at Leo and see his behavior with new eyes. The man was a fucking
Dom
! Would he want to do stuff like that with Alex? Alex had to think. Did that whole Domination/submission thing appeal to him? And what about Leo? Could he ever trust Leo again? He still couldn’t believe what he’d witnessed. It felt so fucking unreal.

Around and around his thoughts chased, relentlessly, until Alex really did have a headache. After collecting a glass of water from the bathroom, he collapsed back onto his bed, head heavy, pain behind his eyes. He couldn’t think like this. And he needed to think. Just where the fuck did he go from here?

It seemed as if he tossed and turned for hours as sleep eluded him, although the reality was probably very different. His final thoughts before sleep took him were of Leo. He needed to decide if he was going to let Leo back in. Because just thinking about
not
having Leo in his life? Right now, that was a thought which caused Alex mental anguish. The trust that had slowly and painstakingly been established between them had cost Alex dearly. He didn’t know if he could put himself through that tortuous process again.

Fifteen

“F
OR
God’s sake, Thomas, just talk to him, will you? Things can’t go on like this for much longer!”

Thomas put his pen down on the desk with an exasperated sigh. He stared at Miles, his eyebrows raised. “What’s the matter now?”

Miles looked behind him to check no one was in the vicinity before entering the office and quietly closing the door behind him. He seated himself in the chair facing Thomas and leaned forward.

“He’s pissing people off, that’s what!” Miles frowned. “It’s been three weeks since Alex turned up here, and in that time, Leo has managed to upset virtually every person in the club.”

Thomas swiveled in his chair to stare at the bookcase next to his desk. A photo of Leo and himself, taken when they’d first opened the club, sat on the shelf.
All those years ago
.

He knew Miles spoke the truth. Leo’s behavior had become increasingly erratic during the last few weeks. He was short-tempered, and no matter what anyone did, it was never good enough. Those subs who had previously tried to catch his eye as he went about his business now shied away if they saw him coming. And Thomas had been ashamed to find himself walking in the opposite direction if he saw Leo approaching.

“Talking to him does no good whatsoever,” admitted Thomas. “If he won’t listen to me, what chance do the rest of you have?” He glanced at the photo once again. “The trouble is, logical reasoning won’t work here, because he’s not thinking clearly. It’s his heart, not his head, that’s causing all this.” His eyes met Miles’s. “I think he was starting to fall for Alex.”

Miles’s eyes widened. “It was getting that serious?”

Thomas nodded unhappily.

“Then no wonder he’s gone off the rails. It’s Gabe, all over again.”

Suddenly, Thomas sat bolt upright. “No, it isn’t,” he declared. “Gabe’s gone, but Alex is still very much alive. Leo can still win him back. It’s just, right now, he’s given up. He’s convinced himself it’s over.” He gazed earnestly at Miles. “But it doesn’t have to be like that. And we’re going to help him see that.” He grimaced. “We have to, because the alternatives aren’t worth thinking about. So we need to get thinking creatively.”

The two men sat in silence for several minutes, lost in thought. Thomas found himself thinking of how Alex must have viewed the club that night, walking into it blind.
Wait a moment….

Thomas leaned back in his chair. “Is Pietro in tonight?”

Miles nodded. “Yeah, I was just about to take him home, as a matter of fact.”

“Bring him in here, will you? I’ve got a little job for him.” Miles gave another brief nod and went off in search of Pietro. Thomas picked up his pen and began to tap out a beat against his coffee mug, but his eyes remained fixed on the photo.
I’m not giving up on you yet, Leo Hart.

He heard Pietro’s soft knock against the door as his head appeared around it. “Master Thomas? You wanted to see me?”

Thomas nodded, beckoning the sub into the room and pointing to the empty chair in front of his desk. Pietro seated himself, looking more than a little nervous.

“Relax, boy, you’re not in trouble,” Thomas said, chuckling. Pietro exhaled shakily, sinking back farther into the chair. “Now, answer me truthfully. How is Alex?”

Pietro’s face fell. “Truthfully, Sir?” Thomas nodded, eyebrow cocked. “Sir, he’s fucking miserable. He doesn’t speak to anyone any more. During his breaks, he takes his lunch or drink and goes to sit in the small yard at the back of the restaurant.” Pietro stared glumly at Thomas. “He won’t even talk to me, and I thought I was his best friend.” Pietro gazed down at the floor.

“Well, I don’t have to tell you how Master Leo is, do I?” Thomas asked, grimacing. Pietro shook his head vigorously. “Right. In that case, it’s up to us to do something to sort out this mess.”

Pietro frowned. “Us, Sir? I’m not sure if there’s anything we
can
do.”

Thomas winked. “I have a cunning plan. But it requires you, boy. Think you can help me?”

Pietro bounced briefly on the chair. “Anything, Sir. I’ll do anything I can.” He smiled, an eager expression on his face.

Thomas smiled. “Good boy. So, here’s the plan….”

“W
HAT
’
S
this about, Thomas? I don’t remember organizing a meeting for this afternoon.” Leo stormed into the office, clutching the memo he’d found in his pigeonhole. Thomas was standing by the window, looking down onto the street below. There were always lots of people around the club, placed as it was in the Gay Village. Though Leo hadn’t liked the series
Queer as Folk
, he had to admit it had placed Manchester on the map for gay tourists, especially when it came around to Mardi Gras, Manchester’s own Pride event.

Thomas turned to face him. “Leo, put your stuff together. You’re taking some time off.”

Leo gaped at him incredulously. “What are you talking about?” He barked out a laugh. “I’m not due any time off.”

Thomas regarded him almost sadly. “No, you’re not, lad. But you need to take some time to work out what you want to do. Because, let’s be honest here, right now you’re neither use nor ornament. You barge around here like a bear with a sore head, you put people’s backs up… you’ve got subs that once adored you hiding if they see you coming.” He shook his head. “Fuck, Leo, you haven’t got a good word to say for anyone.”

Leo opened his mouth to dispute Thomas’s words… and then stopped. Had he really been that bad?

Thomas’s eyes were fixed on Leo’s face. “Leo, this can’t go on. You need to fix this, or move on.”

Leo suddenly found it difficult to breathe. “Move on…?”

Thomas nodded. “Move on… as in, move on from Alex, or as in, decide if you still want to run this club with me. Because I have to say, right now? I can’t work with someone who won’t even listen to me.” His green eyes met Leo’s horrified gaze. “Yes, Leo, it’s gotten that bad. So do us all a favor and go home. Think about it. If it helps you decide at all, I don’t want to lose you as a business partner—or a friend.” He moved to the office door, pausing as he passed Leo. Thomas placed a warm hand on his shoulder. “And, Leo? Don’t give up on Alex. If you want him, go fight for him.” He squeezed his shoulder and then released him, exiting the room and pulling the door shut behind him.

Leo dropped into the empty chair facing the desk, his head in his hands.
What a fucking mess.

There hadn’t been a single day in the last three weeks Leo hadn’t woken up in the morning without remembering that awful night. He could still see Alex’s expression of shock, and then worse, the look that spoke of utter betrayal. Looking back, Leo knew his reasons for not wanting to share the lifestyle with the boy, but they seemed petty now in the face of Alex’s abrupt departure from his life. He’d wanted to develop their relationship first, but now it looked as though they were finished before they’d even started. He’d sent texts, left voice mail messages… no reply.

Leo let out a sound of sheer frustration. He missed Alex. He wanted his boy back. But he had to face facts: he might have lost Alex for good.

A
LEX
collected his jacket from the staff room, dragging his feet. It had been a long Saturday. Thank goodness he had Sunday off. His heart sank a little at the thought of spending his day off at home, though. Since the night after he’d returned from the club, Rob had been unbearable. It had soon become obvious to his parents and to Rob that all was not well between him and Leo, and then the comments had started. His mother kept dropping subtle hints that maybe he’d merely been going through a phase. A
phase
, for fuck’s sake. Alex had come
that
close to telling her what she could do with her “phase.” Rob wasn’t so subtle. He kept making small digs at Alex, taunting him about Leo, about them being finished. And he never let up. All the fucking time.

Alex put on his jacket, pulling it tight around him as he left the restaurant, not waiting for the others. He knew he’d become an antisocial bastard during the last three weeks, but he couldn’t bear the thought of getting into a conversation with someone only to have them ask about Leo.
Leo
…. Alex’s heart sank. He missed the man. He’d told himself it was just sex, that was all. But as the days after that hideous Thursday night grew into weeks, the pain inside him didn’t lessen. He found himself waking up in the early hours, reaching for Leo, seeking the warmth of those strong arms, only to find himself alone. He missed their conversations. He missed that fantastic feeling he’d get when he knew he was going to see Leo, the anticipation of being held, listened to… accepted. Fuck… he missed him
so
much.

“Alex, wait for me!”

Alex groaned as Pietro’s voice reached him. Pietro was the last person he wanted to see. He’d avoided the chef at work by making himself really busy and finding things to do that kept him out of Pietro’s way. A chill breeze whipped up, and he pulled his jacket tighter. October had come in with fresh, chill winds, and the night air was even colder. He heard Pietro’s hurried footsteps behind him, growing nearer. There was obviously no getting away from this.

Alex came to a halt, waiting for Pietro to catch up with him. “What do you want?” He shivered in the night air. “It’s late.”

“I know, I know, but I need to talk to you,” Pietro replied breathlessly. “It’s really important.”

Alex frowned. “Couldn’t it wait until Monday?”

Pietro shook his head. “Look, come back to my flat,” he suggested. “I only live just around the corner near the river. Please.” His eyes were begging. “I have green tea.” His face wore a hopeful expression.