And I Love Her (13 page)

Chapter Fourteen

♬

Cash Matthews

I wished Prudence hadn’t cornered me into sparing Gavin. There’s nothing I wanted more than to rip that guy apart. It had nothing to do with jealousy. It was appalling that he made such a demand. It was borderline prostitution. And I could never respect anyone like that.

I was so relieved when Prudence said no. If she decided otherwise, there was nothing I could really do. And the idea of him touching her or trying to kiss her was enough to make me sick. Thank god Prudence refused. I would have died inside.

Now we were going to visit her mom and tell her the news. This entire trip had been nothing but a hardship. I’ve never seen Prudence cry so much. I had a feeling her mom wouldn’t be any different.

How did Prudence become the sweet woman she was? All that bullshit should have messed with her head. A part of it did, which was why she refused to commit to another person, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. I guess I owed Jeremy a thank you.

I didn’t tell Jeremy like she requested. But believe me, I wanted to. When we were in the car on the way to her mom’s, I felt the tension. I knew Prudence was offended her brother confided personal information to me and not her. I wished she’d just let it go but I knew she wouldn’t. But I couldn’t spill Jeremy’s secrets. I worked hard to get his respect and approval. I couldn’t afford to lose it—not even for Prudence.

I held her hand and ran my thumb across her knuckles. I knew she was nervous. “It’ll be okay.”

She released a sarcastic sigh. “I’m sure.”

“The trip is almost over. That’s something to be thankful for.”

“Indeed.”

Jeremy sat on the other side of me, his fingers quickly hitting the buttons on his iphone. He was clearly working. He didn’t speak to Prudence and she didn’t make an effort to talk to him. Last night, Prudence ignored Jeremy. And he never asked what her problem was. I wasn’t sure what was going on with them.

When we arrived at the apartment complex, Prudence sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”

We entered the building and found the apartment number. The complex was old. The walls were starting to become discolored, and there were cracks in the ceiling. The staircase was narrow, and I could barely fit. I couldn’t believe this was where they both grew up.

After we reached the door, Prudence knocked and waited. Her mom answered, the same brown hair and blue
eyes evident. She wasn’t petite like Prudence. Weight and wrinkles covered her skin. But there was beauty deep down in there. Prudence was unnaturally lucky with her looks, because her genetic inheritance was very generous.

“Hello, baby.” She wrapped her arms around Prudence and hugged her. “I’m glad you’re home from your trip.”

Prudence never talked about her mom so I didn’t know anything about her. But I assumed they weren’t close. Her mom clearly didn’t know about her record deal, or that fact she didn’t return from America when she was supposed to.

“How are you?” Prudence asked.

The sadness filled her eyes. “Every day is an ordeal.”

I wondered what the problem was.

When she saw Jeremy, her eyes lit up. “My boy.” She pulled him into her arms and hugged him tightly. The enthusiasm for Jeremy was tenfold of what it was for Prudence. And that irritated the shit out of me. “You’re so handsome. How’s everything at work?”

He pulled away. “It’s great, Mom. How are you?”

“Better now that you’re here.”

What the fuck?
Jeremy was a cool guy but he wasn’t that fascinating. Prudence was an amazing and inspirational woman. Why was her family oblivious to that?

She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.

Did I not exist?
I looked at Prudence, but she averted her gaze, embarrassed.
Man, I hated her family.

We entered the small apartment and sat on the old couches. I was used to expensive things because I’ve had them my entire life, but the apartment was dirty and cheap even for my standards. Nothing was clean or organized. It looked like a garage sale. Was her mother a hoarder?

Prudence sat next to me but she wasn’t affectionate. I decided to give her space. I wasn’t sure how she wanted to play this.

Her mother pulled Jeremy next to her. “What’s new with
you, honey?”

Jeremy glanced at his sister then turned back. “Nothing too interesting. But Prudence has some exciting news.” He looked at Prudence and avoided his mother’s look. The guilty look in his eyes told me he knew he was the family favorite.

Prudence didn’t seem happy at all. The depression in her voice told me how much she was hurting. “Mom, this is Cash.”

I extended her hand and shook it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said with a smile. In actuality, I hated this woman but I tried to make this meeting as pleasant as possible.
For Prudence.

“Jill.” That was all she said.
Was her entire family this rude?

I leaned back and waited for Prudence to make our announcement. Then I could touch her again, which I was desperate to do. Judging by her need for me when she was ups
et, she must be desperate for my touch.

“Mom, I have an announcement to make.”

“I know. Jeremy just said that.” It didn’t seem like she was trying to be rude. It was just natural.

If Prudence was angry, she hid it. “Cash and I are getting married.” She held up her engagement ring.

“Married?” she asked.

“Yep.”

I placed my arm over her shoulders, finally comforting her.

“You’re an American?” she asked.

“I am,” I said politely. “We met when she was in California for the summer.”

“I see.” She didn’t see
m happy. “When’s the wedding?”

“We haven’t picked a date,” Prudence said. “But soon.”

Her mom immediately looked at her stomach.

“No,” Prudence snapped. “I’m not pregnant.”

I wished she were. Then she’d be stuck with me.

Jeremy cleared his throat. “Cash is a television producer and a good friend of mine. I’m sure he’ll do a good job taking care of Prudence.”

Jill nodded. “Welcome to the family.”

I didn’t feel welcomed.

She turned to Prudence. “Does that mean you’ll be living in America?”

“Yes,” Prudence said quietly.

“Oh.”

Oh? What did that mean?

Her mother turned back to Jeremy and started asking him about work.
Was I missing something…?
Her mom didn’t ask me anything and I was marrying her damn daughter. How did she know I wasn’t a jackass? My tolerance for Prudence’s family and friends was waning. How did she put up with all this bullshit?

Her mom didn’t seem to care about Prudence at all, so I kissed Prudence on the cheek, reminding her that I cared about her. “We’re almost done,” I whispered.

“Yeah…” The sadness on her face killed me.

Jeremy kept re
directing the conversation back to Prudence. “She’s been doing well with her music. She’s played over fifty shows since she went to America.”

“That’s nice,” Jill said. “Jeremy, are you seeing anyone?”

Jeremy looked annoyed. “No. But Prudence is having the wedding in California. You should book your ticket as soon as they decide a date.”

“Oh.”

There’s that oh again.

“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to afford the flight,” Jill said hesitantly.

By the looks of her apartment, she was probably being truthful. But that was still bullshit.

“Mom, I’ll get your ticket,” Jeremy said.

Mr. Perfect to the rescue.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I doubted Prudence even wanted her mother there. I sure as hell didn’t.

Her mom made small talk with Jeremy and asked him every detail of his life. Prudence sat quietly next to me, staring out the window. She never behaved this way before. When her father was insulting, she defended herself and called him out on his shit. But she didn’t do the same with her mother. Instead, she lay down and took it. That wasn’t like Prudence at all…

When we finally left the apartment, her mother hugged Jeremy tightly and looked like she may never let him go. I seriously hated her mom. When it was Prudence’s turn, she gave her a quick hug. “Take care. Let me know when the wedding is.”

Like you give a shit.

We headed down to the car, but Prudence didn’t get inside. “I’ll meet you guys later.” Her voice sounded dead.

What?
I grabbed her hand and steadied her. Why was she pushing me away? “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I just want to be alone. Don’t worry about me. I know my way around.”

Did I do something?
I thought I was the shoulder she always needed. What changed? “Let me come with you.”

“Cash, I’ll be fine.” She pulled her hand away.

Jeremy eyed her. “Pru, don’t let her bring you down.”

She ignored him and walked away.

I didn’t know what to do. She clearly wanted to be alone but I didn’t want her to be. “I’m going with her.” I left the car and followed behind her.

She didn’t have to talk to me, but I wanted to be there. I stayed a few feet behind her and moved through the crowd as I trailed her. After a few blocks, she turned
into the park then walked up a hill. When she reached the top, she sat on the grass, staring at the city below.

The sun set behind the buildings and turned the sky orange. It was a beautiful sight, one that made you thankful you were alive. But I knew that’s not how Prudence felt. She sat alone and stared at her feet. I lingered behind.

When my phone rang, I immediately rejected the call without looking at it. But Prudence caught the sound. She turned around and spotted me.

“What are you doing?” she asked quietly.

“I didn’t want to leave you alone. You can pretend I’m not here.”

She patted the grass next to her. “Sit.”

I did as she asked and came beside her. But I didn’t speak.

“I’m okay with not being my parents’ favorite child. And I’m okay with disappointing them. They both wanted a different life for me, one that has nothing to do with a guitar, but I went my own way. I’m even okay with the way Isaac hurt me, and the way my father abandoned me. But…everything together at once is just…too much.”

I didn’t blame her.

“It suffocates me. I’m sick of it. I just want to be loved.”

I love you.
“You are loved.”

“By someone other than Jeremy.”

You are. Fuck. You are.

“I think sitting around and crying all day isn’t the solu
tion. Feeling sorry for myself won’t change anything. I try to be strong all the time but I just can’t always do it. There are times when I fall. I just need a moment to put myself back together before I continue forward. But please don’t judge my moment of weakness.”

Weakness?
“Prudence, that’s the last thing I’m thinking.”

“It is?”

“You’re always strong all the time. It’s okay to breakdown and cry. That’s normal.”

“It doesn’t change anything,” she whispered.

“Actually, it does. Only when you hit rock bottom can you crawl back up. Admitting when you’re in pain is a good thing. Being in denial is not.” My words immediately reminded me of my divorce. “When my marriage fell apart, all I did was feel sorry for myself. I moped around the house and pushed everyone away. I held onto my anger and emotions because I was so hurt. People told me to get over it and move on but I couldn’t. But only after I went through all the pain and suffering, did I start to move forward. I’ve been in the healing process for a long time. But I don’t think I really recovered from that divorce until I met you. And that took me six years.” I held her gaze, showing her my sincerity. “And your suffering is a million times worse than mine.”

She grabbed my hand. “You help me heal too.”

I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this, but I admire you for doing it so well.”

She rested her head on my shoulder. “I’m tired of expecting people to treat me well because they don’t. I’m tired of trusting people only to have that trust broken. I can’t do this anymore…”

That broke my heart. Even if she did love me, she’d never act on it. And as much as it hurt me, I completely understood her reasoning. No one should ever have to suffer like that, especially a wonderful girl like Prudence.

“It’ll get better,” I said. “It may not seem like it now but it will. You’re at such a young age and there’s so much more to life than you realize. You will touch the lives of people who mean something to you, and they’ll touch you in return. And I assure you, not everyone is malicious. There are people in the world who are good. You just have to find them. But trust me. They are there.”

“You’re good.”

To you.
“And you’ve touched my life in a way no one else ever will. You’re very special to me, Prudence.”