And I Love Her (16 page)

Chapter Eighteen

♬

Cash Matthews

In general, I wasn’t a selfish person. I didn’t lie, I was always fair, and I put others before myself. But never in my life had I hated it that much.

There was no one in the world I despised more than Sharon. And not because of the recent shit she pulled. She wasn’t a good person, and I hated every fiber of her being. The idea of being married to her, even if it was just a business relationship was sickening.

But I’d do it for Prudence.
No one else.

But how could she let me go through with it? That hurt the most. She would let me marry such an evil woman just so she could get ahead in life? That didn’t sound like her. And I obviously didn’t want to marry Sharon. Even if I didn’t love Prudence, I would much rather be with her between the two.

Ugh. I couldn’t believe this was happening. It was my worst nightmare.

Prudence completely withdrew from me after the conversation. She spent most of her time at work, and when she home she was in her office. At night, she slept in the guestroom across the hallway.

In the dark crevasses of my heart, I hoped she did love me after all. But the fact she withdrew completely as soon as the arrangement was off told me otherwise. I really was just a pawn in her game. She needed me to win. And now that she had what she wanted, I was obsolete.

And I felt like an idiot.

Prudence came home later that night. And like every other night, she hardly looked at me. “I’m going to move in with Dean. There’s no point in me staying here anymore.”

Ouch.
“Nothing has been finalized. I think you should wait.”

“Wait for what?” She looked through her bag at the table. Her eyes never met mine. After everything I was doing for her, I couldn’t get that respect?

“I haven’t said anything to Sharon…just in case you changed your mind.”

“I’m not going to. Don’t wait around for me.”

Was anything between us real? Or was that all a lie?
It was like it never happened. “So, you’re sure?”

“Yes. Get back together with your wife.” She marched upstairs and disappeared. When her bedroom door shut, I grabbed a bottle of vodka and drank it straight. If I didn’t, I couldn’t sleep.

♫

Sharon was already at the coffee shop when I arrived. She had a smug look on her face, knowing she was getting everything she wanted—like always.

I sat across from her but didn’t speak. Just being close to her was irritating.

“I’m glad you came to your senses.”

I glared at her. “What do you want me to do?”

“We’ll get marry then I’ll take care of Prudence.”

“No,” I snapped. “Prudence first.”

She smiled. “You think I’m a fool? After she gets what she wants, you’ll still marry me?” She laughed. “Come on, Cash. I didn’t play you because I was stupid.”

Fucking bitch.
“I’m a man of my word. I’ve never lied to you, and I don’t intend to. Only when you give Prudence her citizenship will I marry you. Not a moment sooner.”

She studied me for a moment. “Fine.”

“But I have terms.”

“Okay. You aren’t in a position to negotiate anything, but go ahead.”

“I’m not sleeping with you, and I don’t give a damn who you sleep with. I’ll be faithful to you, but that’s it. We’ll be married on paper, but not in real life. I don’t even want to live with you. We can have two houses next to each other. I can’t give you more than that.”

“That’s fine with me. But in the media, you have to act like you’re in love with me.”

I cringed. “I guess I’ll have to take some serious acting classes.”

She ignored the insult. “I’m sorry about Prudence.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“It’s a shame the second woman you fell in love with cares about you less than I did. She’s putting her career before you. She should have fought alongside you, not thrown you to the wolves.”

I was too emotional to respond. I wanted to flip the table over then break the window. But I stayed under control. What hurt even more was how right she was. Down to every detail. “Are we done here?”

“It looks like it. Give me a few days to take care of Prudence.”

“Make it quick.”

She smiled. “I’m very excited about being your wife again.”

“Fuck you, Sharon.” I left her and stormed out of the coffee shop.

When I came home, Prudence had her bags by the door. I hated the sight.

“Is everything settled?” She still wouldn’t look at me.

“Yeah.”

“So, you’re really marrying her?” She stared at the floor.

“Sorry, are you talking to me or the ground?”

Prudence crossed her arms over her chest then finally looked at me. As soon as she did, tears coated her eyes. I had no idea why she was emotional. She was the one making me go through with this. “Then I should leave.”

“I think you should wait.”

She kicked her bag. “Why?”

“Don’t draw any unnecessary attention to yourself. What if Sharon can’t keep her promises? We don’t want to make a mistake we can’t take back.”

She ran her fingers through her hair then headed to the stairs.

“Did our relationship mean nothing to you? It’s like it never happened.”  I couldn’t control my rage.

“Yes! Did it mean anything to you?”

“Obviously!”

She stormed up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door.

“Fuck you, Prudence!” I shouldn’t have said that but I was too pissed. I grabbed a lamp and slammed it on the hard wood floor. The glass shattered. I kicked it aside and didn’t bother cleaning it.

♫

I took a temporary leave of absence from work. I did my work from home because I couldn’t function any other way. My situation with Prudence was completely consuming me. And to say it was devastating was an understatement. Still having her here made it a million times worse. I didn’t think a day would ever come when I didn’t want her around. I was wrong.

When a visitor came to my house, I refused to answer the door. Nothing good ever came from that fucking door. I ignored it.

“Cash Matthews! Open this door!” It was my mom.

Shit. I couldn’t ignore her.
She was my mom. I put on a brave face and answered the door. “Hello, Mom.” I gave her a fake smile.

She glared at me. “Why am I hearing you’re engaged to Prudence when I haven’t gotten a single call from you?”

Prudence. I didn’t want to talk about her.
“Mom, now isn’t the best time.”

She marched inside, uninvited. “You had the convenience of calling me at your leisure. So that’s too bad you didn’t take advantage of it.” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. “What’s going on, Cash? Are you really getting married?”

I sighed, not knowing what to say.

“Because you told me you broke up. That everything was a scam.”

“I know what I said!” I gripped my skull. All the stress was getting to me. I couldn’t hold on much longer.

My mom’s eyes widened. “Honey, let’s sit down.” She grabbed my shoulders and guided me to the sofa. “Tell me what’s going on.”

I closed my eyes and told her the truth. How I fell more in love with her than I had before during our trip to Europe. That I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her—forever. And I told her about Sharon.

“That fucking bitch.”

My mom never spoke such foul language, but curses were dropping out of her mouth. “But Prudence wants me to do it…”

“She said this?”

I nodded.

“That doesn’t sound like Prudence. When she told me she loved you, she seemed sincere.”

“Well, she wasn’t,” I said bitterly.

She ran her fingers through my hair. “Honey, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

I held back my tears because I refused to cry in front of my mom—in front of anyone. But it was hard. “Why do I always fall for the wrong ones?”

“You don’t. You’re just a very trusting person. And that’s not a bad thing.”

“Yes, it is, especially when you feel like this.”

My mom pulled me into her arms and held me close. “Is Prudence still living here?”

“For a few days.”

“And you aren’t…together…anymore?”

“No.”

“I see.”

I took a deep breath and stilled my beating heart. It was throbbing. “I can’t believe she’s letting me go through with this…I thought she wanted to fight for me. But she doesn’t…”

She kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry, Cash. You’ll get through this.”

No, I won’t. Not this time.

Chapter Nineteen

♬

Prudence Clearwater

After all we’ve been through, Cash wanted to go back to his ex. It was traumatizing. I was constantly sick to my stomach. How could he do this to me? How could he want that? I chose to stick by him, but when the situation was reversed, he took the easy way out. Why did I always fall for the wrong men?

I cried more than I’ve ever cried in my life. When I was at work, that’s what I was really doing. Dean was patient but I knew he was frustrated by the complicated relationship.

‘Tell him how you feel,” he insisted.

“Are you fucking kidding me? After he said he’d go back to his ex? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He gave me a sympathetic look. “Maybe he’s just trying to do what’s best for you.”

“No. We’re a team. At least I thought we were…”

After a few days, we didn’t speak of Cash at all. It was just too damn hard.

I slept across the hall from him. I missed being in his arms, telling him all my darkest secrets. It was like losing a best friend but worse. I lost everything. And I couldn’t look at him. Every time I did, I thought of the past six months, the best time of my life. All of that meant nothing to him.

I couldn’t even consider touching Gavin’s hand Cash he was willing to marry someone else, sleep with them every night and be there every day. How could he do that to me?

I was not productive at work because I was too distracted so I came home. Cash wasn’t around because he was probably at work—or with his new fiancé.
That stupid bitch.

I sat on the couch and tried to catch my breath. I always seemed to be winded. My left hand rested on my thigh and I stared at the engagement ring I still wore. I knew I should give it back but I wasn’t mature enough to do it. I wanted to keep it forever. As soon as I pulled that ring off, it’d be really over. We’d be done.

The knock on the door stopped my oncoming tears. If it was Sharon, I wouldn’t hesitate to give her a good punch to that perfect face.
Good luck finding work then, whore.

When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Mrs. Matthews. Cash didn’t mention anything about her visit. But then again, we didn’t talk. “Umm…hi. Cash isn’t home right now.”

“He isn’t?” she asked. “That’s fine. I’m here to see you anyway.” The usual warmth in her voice was gone. And she didn’t hug me.

“Oh…”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.”
Where were my manners?

She placed her purse on the counter then moved to the couch. “How are you?”

Absolutely terrible.
“Well. How are you?” I had no idea what she knew about Cash and I. I decided to let her speak first.

“I’m not good,” she said simply. She patted the seat next to her. “And I’d like to explain why.”

That didn’t sound good.

I took the seat next to her, trying not to shake. I was so nervous my palms were sweating.

“My son told me the decision he’s made about Sharon. Apparently, it’s the best way for you to stay in the country.”

Oh. So she knew a lot.
“Yes…”

“Is that what you really want? Because I remember you saying you loved my son. It doesn’t seem like it.”

“What? No, I’m in love with him. He’s the one who decided this.”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. Mrs. Matthews, I’m not misleading you.”

“Because he hates Sharon and can’t stand her. Believe me, this is not what he wants.”

“But…that’s what he said. He said he wanted to be with her, that it was the best way.”

She studied me. “You do realize he’s doing it just for you, right? And after everything he’s done for you, I’m hurt you’d let him go through with this.”

I was confused. When Cash decided this, I was heartbroken. I wanted to fight together, not give into this terrorist. “So…he doesn’t want to marry her?”

She nodded. “As I’ve already said.”

I replayed our conversation in our mind. “He was just doing the best thing for me…”

“Yes,” Mrs. Matthews said. “There’s nothing I can do about this situation. Cash seems intent on keeping you here. But if there’s any way you can work out something else, I know Cash would prefer that route.”

When I went through everything in my mind, I started to realize what happened. “Cash and I just had a serious misunderstanding.”

“I’m very relieved to hear that.” She finally smiled at me. “Because I found it very hard to believe that you wanted that end for my son.”

“No,” I said immediately. “I thought it’s what he wanted.”

“You two always put each other first. Sometimes that isn’t always clear.”

“I guess not,” I said with a laugh.

Mrs. Matthews pulled me into a hug. “Sharon is a cold-hearted bitch. She was a terror that will never leave my nightmares. Don’t let her terrorize you. You’ll find a way to get around this.”

“I hope so.”

She pulled away and patted my hand. “You will. Love always finds a way.”

I hoped she was right. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Matthews. I care about your son very much. I never would have asked him to do that unless that’s what he wanted.”

“I know. I believe you.” She rose from the couch and grabbed her purse. “After you two have a talk, you need to come by the house so we can celebrate your engagement.”

“Definitely.”

“Goodbye, dear.”

“Bye, Mrs. Mathews.”

After she walked through the door, she turned to me. “It’s mom, dear.”

“Sorry,” I said quickly. “Bye, Mom.”

“That’s better.”

♫

I was waiting for Cash to come home and was becoming anxious the longer I waited. So I decided to call him. I hoped he would answer. He didn’t pick up until the fourth ring.

“Hello?” His voice was dead.

“Hey…”

“Is everything okay?” The protective side of him came out. I knew it was still in there.

“I’m fine. Everything is okay.”

“Then what’s up?” His voice returned to normal.

“Could you come home? I want to talk to you.”

He said nothing for a long time. “Are you leaving?”

“No. Please come home.”

“I’m on my way.” He hung up without saying goodbye.

I sat down and waited. Knowing he didn’t want to marry Sharon was one thing because it came from his mother. But I needed to hear it from him. I missed him this past week. It was like he fell off the face of the earth.

When the front door finally opened, my emotion got to me. I ran to him and jumped in his arms. He caught me then stumbled back slightly before he caught his footing.

“I missed you so much.” I clung to him.

He held me tightly, breathing heavily into my neck. “I missed you too.”

I stepped back until our faces were almost touching. “Do you want to marry Sharon?”

“What?”

“Do you want to marry her?”
Please say no.

“Umm…pass.”

“No,” I said firmly. “Is that what you want?”

He averted his gaze. “No. Obviously not.”

“So, you just said that…”

“Because I thought that’s what you wanted. But I couldn’t be selfish and expect you to risk everything just so I wouldn’t have to be anywhere near her.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and held my hands to my chest. “Thank god. When you said you didn’t want to fight for us, I was heartbroken. I turned down Gavin because I don’t want anyone else. And when you didn’t do the same…”

He smiled. “No, not at all. I want to fight for us and take our chances. But I didn’t think you did.”

“I don’t want you to touch her,” I blurted. “You’re mine.”

His smile widened. “I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.” He grabbed my face and kissed me. His lips caressed mine and his tongue gently moved past my lips. That kiss felt so good. I missed it for so long.

Cash pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine. “Where did this come from?”

“Your mom paid me a visit.”

He stilled. “What did she say?”

“She just wondered how I could possibly do that to you. That’s when I realized how I misread you.”

“Did she say anything else…?”

“She wants us to come over to celebrate our engagement.”

“Anything else?”

I looked into his eyes. “Something specific?”

“Nevermind.” He grabbed my face and pressed his nose against mine. “I’m just glad we’re back together. I was scared for a moment.”

“I was too…”

He sighed. “So, you’re sure?”

“Fuck yes, I’m sure.”

Cash smiled. “Now we have two people who could sabotage this marriage. Our odds of success are even less.”

“I don’t want you to be with her. That’s not an option.”

“And I don’t want you to be with Gavin.”

“Good.”

Cash held me for a moment. “Then let’s push forward and plan this wedding.”

“I’m so sorry, Cash. I know you so well. I should have understood what you were doing.”

“It’s okay. I know it was a lot to take in at the time. And she was kissing me…let’s just forget about it.”

“So, we’re a team?” I asked.

“We’re more than a team.” His hands moved to my hips. “And I’ve missed you…”

I knew what those words meant. “I missed you too.”

“You aren’t working for the next two days.”

“Because you’re going to be inside me the entire time?”

He moaned. “Fuck yes.”