Annihilate Me (5 page)

I
looked at him in confusion.

“This
isn’t happening tonight,” he said.

“What
are you talking about?”

“I
want this to build even more than it has.”

“Why?”

“This
is why.”

In
one fluid motion, he was on his knees and pressing my legs apart.
 
He leaned into me, curved his hands
around the low of my back and kissed me hard on the mouth.
 
Gently, he cupped my breasts while his
tongue probed so deep that I lost myself in the moment and gave everything I
had back to him.
 

I
reached out to feel his chest.
 
He
moved my hands aside, but I was damned if I wasn’t going to touch him, so I
swatted him away and ran my hands along his rock-hard pecs and his silky
torso.
 
When I went for his nipples
and pressed them hard between my fingers, he caught his breath and pulled away
from me with a look of surprise and raw passion.
 
His chest and torso were covered in
little red indentations from the crystals sewn into my dress.
 
I couldn’t help a smile.

“I’ve
branded you,” I said.

He
furrowed his brow as if he didn’t understand.

“Look
at your stomach.”

He
saw the marks, and then he looked back at me.
 
“So you have.
 
And who better to do so?”
 

He
came toward me again and pushed further into me, sending me back on the sofa to
the point that I could feel him against my knee, which sent rivers of
excitement through me.
 
He took my
face in his hands and kissed me on the lips before he lowered his head to my
neck, kissed me there, and then went to my swollen breasts, which were pressed
tight against my dress.
 
For a
moment, he just admired them.
 
Then,
with a quick glance at me, he kissed each nipple, giving each a tiny bite that
nearly made me come before he pulled me to my feet and cast me out of the
moment.

“My
shirt,” he said.

“Why
are you doing this?”

“I’ve
told you.
 
I want it to build.
 
And it will build, to the point that
neither of us knows what hit us.
 
I’m also punishing myself for how I treated you before.
 
And believe me, not being with you
tonight is a punishment.”

“But
we’re beyond that.”

“Maybe
one of us is.
 
Maybe the other can’t
forgive himself for it.
 
Would you
like to finish your martini?”

“Only
if you pour yourself into it.”

He
laughed at that.
 
“I don’t think
there’s any part of me that would fit in it.
 
Shirt, please.”

Reluctantly,
I handed it to him.
 
“Do you want
the jacket and tie, too?”

“No.
 
Just the shirt.”
 
He shrugged it on and buttoned it up,
concealing everything that I fantasized about and wanted.

“I
think you’re cruel.”

“You
won’t when I have my way with you.”

“And
when will that be?”

“No
idea.
 
Time will tell.
 
We’ll know when it’s the right moment.”

“Now
is the right moment.”

“No,
it isn’t.”

“How
can you say that?”

“Because
I’m right.”

“According
to you.”

“Can
I see you tomorrow?”

“I
have to work tomorrow.”

“Then
I’ll be there to pick you up.
 
We
can come back here.”

“Why?
 
So you can tease me more?”

“Likely.
 
Would you like that?”

“I
can’t believe this.”

He
smiled warmly at me.
 
“Neither can
I.”

“You’re
frustrating me.”

“I’m
frustrating myself.
 
I want you
right now in ways that I’ve only wanted one other woman.
 
But that was years ago.
 
This is different.”

“How
is it different?”

“I
never thought I’d be here again.
 
But I am.
 
And I’m not taking
you until you’re mine.”

“I
don’t know how I’m going to sleep tonight or how I’m going to stay focused at
work tomorrow.”

“You
think it’s going to be any easier for me?
 
That’s the whole point of this.
 
I’m punishing myself for what I did to you.”

“But
you’re also punishing me.”

“You’ll
see that I’m right.
 
Let’s give this
time.
 
Let’s let it build.”

I
moved to speak, but he came forward and kissed me on the forehead, then on the
lips before he moved his mouth to my ear.
 
The stubble again—rough against my skin.
 
Damn him.
 
“Trust me on this, OK?
 
You’ll see.
 
In the meantime, I’m hardly going to
keep my hands off you.
 
Or my
mouth.
 
Or my tongue.
 
But I am going to make certain that your
first time blows you away, Jennifer.
 
When it happens, your body will experience things that you didn’t know
it was capable of experiencing.
 
Or
achieving.
 
And then, when it
becomes clear to you, you’ll realize exactly why I’m doing this.”

“Kiss
me again.”

But
he didn’t.
 
Instead, he moved away
from me.
 
“I’ll have a car waiting
at the curb for you.
 
The driver
will make sure you get home safe.
 
And I’ll see you tomorrow night, OK?”

Bastard.
 
“Fine,” I said.

“The
bathroom is just off to the right.”
 
He cracked a smile.
 
“Before
you leave, you might want to check your hair and makeup.”

CHAPTER FOUR

In
the back of the limousine, I rolled down the window next to me and breathed in
the city in an effort to ease my nerves.
 
I felt, at once, charged and cheated, turned on and angry.
 
I was riding on the cold rails of
whatever control I had left, which wasn’t much.
 
He’s going to be the
end of me
, I thought.
 
Why did he stop that
from happening?

In
my clutch, I felt my cell buzz.
 
I
reached for it, clicked it on, and knew it was a text of some sort from
Alex.
 
But it wasn’t a text.
 
It was an email.
 
The subject line simply said, “For
you.
 
And only for you.
 
No one else.”

Attached
was a photograph.
 
I downloaded it,
and when I saw what it was, my hand absentmindedly went to my breast.
 
He’d taken a photo of himself in his
bathroom mirror.
 
His shirt was off,
as was his T-shirt.
 
On his face was
a smirk.
 
His chest and abs were
bared to me.
 
It was too
much—an absolute tease—but two could play this game.
 
I wasn’t about to be undone.
 

I
asked the driver for privacy, and the privacy glass went up between us.
 

How
best to get to Alex?
 
What could I
do to top that photo?
 
I thought
about it for a moment, and then I leaned forward and unzipped the back of my
dress.
 
I let the top fall into my
lap and expose my breasts, which were covered with the sexy lace bra Blackwell
chose for me earlier.
 

My
hands started to tremble at the thought of what I was about to do.
 
I strategically parted my hair behind me
and placed it over my breasts in a way that I knew would turn him on.
 

I’d
never done anything like this, but for whatever reason and regardless of how
hard my heart was beating, I wanted to do it.
 
I pressed back against the cool leather
seat, turned the phone around so the camera faced me, and took several shots of
myself either staring intently into the lens or with my lips slightly parted
and my eyes closed.
 
The camera’s
flash lit the inside of the limousine with several small explosions of
light.
 
I could only imagine what
the driver was thinking, or if he could even see through the dark glass.
 
But I decided I didn’t care.
 
Let him think what he wanted.
 
I was going to give Alex exactly what he
deserved.
 
I dipped my head back, as
if I was in the throes of an orgasm, and took more photos.

When
I was finished, I couldn’t help a giggle.
 
I’d never been that free with my body.
 
And better yet, it felt right.

Before
I pulled my dress back up, I looked at the pictures, most of which I disliked,
with the exception of one.
 
One was
perfect.
 
It showed just enough skin
as well as part of the lace on my bra.
 
My hair, which I knew he loved when I wore it down, curved over my
breasts, which were full and round, the cleavage deep.
 
In the photo, I was biting my lower
lip.
 
My eyes were closed and my
head was pressed back against the leather seat as if there was something inside
of me that needed to get out—which was true enough.
 
I thought I looked kind of hot, which
was fitting since inside, I was boiling over.
 
I looked at the photo again and couldn’t
help another giggle.

Obviously, I’ve lost it.

But
so be it.
 
I attached the photo in a
return email to him, and wrote in the subject line, “This right here?
 
This is what you’re missing.”
 
Before I could even think about what I’d
done and thus stop myself, I pressed the send button.
 
I shook my head at the audacity of my
actions, and then I quickly pulled myself together.
 
When I moved to zip up the back of my
dress, I became aware that I was so turned on, I was wet again.

And
then my cell buzzed.
 
This time it
was indeed a text.

“You
aren’t going to make this easy for me, are you?”

I
raised my eyebrows at that, and shot him a text.
 
“I’m just following your lead.
 
And by the way, you’ll never know when
I’ll email you a similar photo, so be prepared.
 
It could be while you’re at work.
 
At one of your events.
 
Or maybe even during a meeting.
 
In fact, maybe the latter is the best
choice given what you cheated me out of tonight.”

I
waited a moment, and he rang in again.
 
“I can always ask the driver to turn the car around, you know?”

I
thought about that.
 
But as much as
I wanted him, I rejected the idea.
 
What was happening between us was driving me crazy with excitement, but
now I saw the logic in the statement he’d made earlier.
 
Let it build to the point that neither
of us can stand it any longer.
 
Then, when the time is right, what we’ll experience together should be
something that neither of us will forget.

It’ll be mind blowing.

“Sorry,”
I wrote.
 
“But you had your
chance.
 
We’re letting this
build.
 
Maybe a few months?”

I
pressed the send button, and awaited a new text from him.
 
When it came, this one said, “Not
months, Ms. Kent.”

“I’m
thinking several months.
 
You
shouldn’t have done that to me.”

“I
did what I felt was right.”

“Is
your shirt back on?”

“I’m
not wearing anything.
 
Would you
like a photo of that?”

I
blushed when I read that post, and closed my eyes at the thought of it.
 
“I can wait.
 
Sort of.”

“Are
we sexting?”

“I
believe we are.”

“Have
you ever sexted before?”

“I
think you know better.”

“Neither
have I.
 
You’d think we were a
couple of teenagers.”

“That’s
funny,” I wrote.
 
“I feel like a
woman.”
 

*
 
*
 
*

When
the driver dropped me at my apartment, I thanked him, ran across the dimly lit
street, and quickly stuck my key in the door.
 
I couldn’t wait to get out of this
neighborhood.
 
It was dark, it was
sketchy, and it gave me the creeps.
 
I had a steady income now.
 
There was no longer an excuse to stay here.
 
Lisa and I needed to find something
soon.
 

Only
when I was safely inside did I hear the driver pull away.

I
climbed the four flights of stairs and entered the apartment.
 
Lisa sat across the room, the pages of a
manuscript in her hand and her nightly martini next to her.
 
She glanced up at me when I stepped
inside and said hello before circling something on the manuscript.
 
She then dropped it in her lap and just
looked at me.

“Well,
well,” she said.
 
“Look at you.”

I
put my clutch and cell down onto the kitchen counter.
 
I could hide nothing from Lisa.
 
She’d be on to me in a second.
 
In fact, she was on to me now.
 
“Whatever do you mean?”

She
picked up her martini and took a sip.
 
There was mischief in her eyes when she said, “Lovely dress.”

“Thank
you.
 
It’s supposed to evoke
Gatsby
.”

“You
don’t say?”

“That
was the idea.”

“A
rousing success.”
 
She looked down
at my feet.
 
“Pretty shoes.”

“I
like them.”

“Are
they comfortable?”

“No
blisters for me today.”

“At
least not on your feet.”

“Excuse
me?”

“Nothing.
 
Just mumbling.
 
Those are some jewels.”

“You
think?”

“Mmm-hmm.
 
Oh, and I assume that you went out
tonight with some makeup on?
 
And
that your hair wasn’t the hot mess that it is right now?
 
And that you didn’t go out in public
with any stains on your dress?
 
You
know, like that one right there.”

She
pointed at my crotch.

I
looked down and—mortified—I saw the stain.

“Oh,
my God.
 
This dress cost a fortune.”

“Girl,
you’re in a hot state of disrepair.”

I
came into the living area and sat on the sofa.
 

“Don’t
you think you should put down a towel before you sit on that sofa?”

“Oh,
please.”

“No,
really.
 
Please.”

“Whatever.”
 
I leaned back against the sofa and
grinned up at the ceiling.
 

“Should
I leave you alone?”

“Oh,
no.
 
We’re going to talk.
 
I’m on fire.
 
You have no idea.”

“Oh,
I think I’m getting the picture.
 
Did he give you a hickey?”

“Do
he give me a what?”

“A
hickey.”

“Nobody
gives me a hickey.
 
No one even uses
that word anymore.”

“Just
teasing.
 
But I have to say that
it’s a relief that you still have your restraint.
 
That’s good.”

“You
don’t even know how much restraint I showed tonight.”

“Looking
at you, I’d guess that you showed none.”

“Not
true.
 
I was a ball of restraint,
even if it wasn’t by choice.”

“So,
you’re still as pure as bottled water?”

“I
wouldn’t go that far.
 
Let’s just
say I’m... intact.”

She
put her drink on the table beside her and stretched her hands behind her.
 
She was so petite, it was as if she was
barely there.
 
“All right,” she
said.
 
“I need the deets.
 
Spill them.
 
Enough of this silliness.
 
I’ve been dying to hear all night how
your evening went, and it looks as if you two got along swimmingly, so to
speak.
 
Thus the towel I wished for
earlier.”

“Very
funny.
 
That has never happened to
me before.
 
I hope I haven’t ruined
the dress.
 
It cost a fortune.”

“You’ll
be fine.
 
Take it to a good dry
cleaner, and they’ll get the stain out.
 
Though I wouldn’t want to be you when you have to point it out to them.”
 

“What
am I going to say to them?”

“Nothing.
 
They’ll know what it is, and judgment
will thunder down upon you.
 
Just
look contrite, grab your ticket, and get the hell out of there.”
 
She pulled her blonde hair behind her
head.
 
Beside her, the air
conditioner hummed.
 
“So, are you
going to tell me what happened or not?”

“You
are not going to be prepared for any of it.”

“Jennifer,
you look as if you’ve been roughed up by a dozen thugs, but in the best
way.
 
And your eyes are a little
unfocused, which isn’t like you, except for when you’ve had a bit too much to
drink, which I’ve witnessed a few times too many.
 
But I doubt that’s the case here.
 
And I
am
prepared.
 
Minus the dress, the shoes, and the
jewels, I think I’ve been where you are now.
 
Only several years ago.
 
It was heaven and hell, all at
once.”
 
She tucked her legs beneath
her, but then she untucked them and stood.
 
“What am I thinking?
 
You
need a martini.
 
That will loosen you up enough to talk.
 
I want the good shit.
 
Be right back.”