Answered Prayers (35 page)

“You sound great, Fred. Is everything all right?”

“Very peaceful,” she said, sounding healthy and calm. It was afternoon for her, and she'd been working on a paper in her study when he called. “How was the trip?”

“Incredible. I can't even describe it to you, it was so beautiful. I'll send you pictures. I want to go back.” She was delighted for him. She had worried about him a lot, but had to assume he was okay. She had also wondered, with silent trepidation, if it had been a second honeymoon for him and Pam. She prayed that it would be, for his sake, and an evil, selfish part of her, she told herself, hoped not.

“How were the boys?”

“Fantastic. Big and beautiful and strong, and happy. It's the best thing that ever happened to them. I wish I'd done something like that when I was their age. I wouldn't have had the balls.”

“Was it scary?” she asked, sounding impressed, and he laughed.

“I didn't think so. I don't think there's enough money in the world to pay Pam to go back. It really wasn't her trip. She slept in a little hut, and was terrified all night. And she's been sick for the last couple of days. I slept in the tent with the boys.” She liked hearing that, and then hated herself for it. She'd been praying about it for two weeks, and had gotten nowhere. She had even spoken to a priest, out of the confessional, and told him about her feelings for Brad. He had told her to pray to Saint Jude, and said that miracles occurred, which only confused her more. The only miracle she needed was to stop having the feelings she did for him. She needed to find the peaceful haven of only being his friend again. She couldn't allow herself to feel more than that, and so far, Saint Jude hadn't helped. Her heart had taken a giant leap the moment she heard his voice. She had even said rosaries about it every day, but using the beads he'd given her, it only reminded her of him. It was her greatest inner battle these days. The outer ones were about the divorce. Alex was making life miserable for her. But she was getting used to it. And she had a piece of important news for Brad.

She let him tell her all about the trip, and then she smiled broadly as she told him she had a surprise.

“Let me guess.” He concentrated, reveling in just talking to her again. There was so much he had wanted to share with her, and he couldn't remember it all now. There was too much and he was too tired. “You got all A's at school, in your exams.”

“Yes, sort of. Actually I got an A minus and an A. But that's not it.”

“Ellie apologized and figured out that her father is a shit.”

“Not yet,” Faith said, sounding briefly sad.

“I don't know. Give me a hint.” But she was too excited to stop at that. She had known for ten days, and was dying to share it with him. She and Zoe had had dinner to celebrate the previous weekend.

“I got into law school at NYU.”

“Hurray! That's fantastic. Fred, I am so proud of you!”

“Me too! Isn't that neat?”

“It's terrific. I knew you would. What about Columbia?”

“I haven't heard yet. They send out their letters next week. But I'd rather go to NYU anyway. Besides, I'm already there. And it works for me.” They talked about it for a few minutes, and she brought him up to date on the divorce. Alex was still hassling her about the house, but he had already agreed to let her stay longer while they negotiated the settlement. She didn't want spousal support from him, although she could have had it. All she wanted was the house, outright, and some of their investments. In relation to what he had, she didn't want a lot. Her mother had left her enough to get by on. And in a few years she knew she'd be getting a decent salary as an attorney. Contrary to what Eloise believed, she was asking for very little. Even her attorney thought she should get more, but that wasn't Faith's style. As Brad knew only too well, she was decent to a fault.

They talked for nearly an hour, and finally, in spite of how much he loved talking to her, he started to yawn, and she told him to go to bed. He was leaving for San Francisco at noon the next day, and would be back home by six in the evening Faith's time. “I'll call or e-mail you when I get in.”

“Thanks for calling,” Faith thanked him. It had been an endless two weeks without him, but she had survived. And the good news about law school had buoyed her spirits, in spite of Alex's antics. She hadn't spoken to Eloise in over a week. It was getting harder and harder to talk. Ellie had entrenched herself in her father's camp. And what hurt Faith most, she had told Brad, was the way Alex had simply gouged her out of his life, as though she had never existed, never mattered, and never been his wife. He had simply erased her like so much chalk on a blackboard. He had wiped her off. And no matter how she explained it to herself, it still hurt. It made it difficult to imagine ever trusting anyone again. She couldn't even imagine a life with another man, or dating. All she wanted now was to lose herself in school, church, and her girls. And the only thing she had to do now was get her head on straight about Brad. She was determined to do it. Just as he was about her. No matter how deep their attraction to each other, and how unknown to each of them, they were absolutely determined to stay behind the boundaries of friendship. And each of them, in their endless efforts, were getting nowhere.

21

B
Y THE END OF
A
PRIL, TWO WEEKS AFTER
B
RAD HAD GOT
ten home, Alex invited Zoe out to dinner when she came home from Brown for the weekend. She was staying with her mother, as she always did, and she didn't want to go out with him. But Faith told her that she thought she should.

“What's the point, Mom?” Zoe looked annoyed as she hung up the phone. She really wanted to go out with her friends. “He's just going to talk shit about you.”

“He's still your father. You haven't had dinner with him in a while. Maybe he's trying to bridge the gap with you.” As always, Faith was far more fair about him than he was about her. He was still continuing to poison Eloise against her mother, and Faith wanted to go over to visit her, as soon as she finished school. Their semester end was only a few weeks away. And Zoe would be home in mid-May. Faith had invited her to come, if she went to London to see Eloise.

In the end, Zoe agreed to have dinner with Alex, at a little French restaurant he had always liked. He was obviously trying to make an effort with her. She went in a dress she had borrowed from her mother, and she had worn her hair in a French braid. She looked pretty and fresh and young. She had just turned nineteen a few weeks before, and she was getting more beautiful every day. But Zoe was startled when she saw that her father wasn't alone, when she approached the table. There was a woman sitting with him. He introduced them to each other with a broad, happy smile. And Zoe thought her father looked ridiculous. The girl sitting beside him on the banquette was nearly half his age.

“Leslie, I'd like you to meet my daughter Zoe … and this is Leslie James.” Zoe guessed her to be in her early twenties, although she was slightly older than that. She was wearing a low-cut, tight-fitting dress, and she had long black hair. And although Faith wouldn't have done so, she could have told Zoe what kind of underwear she wore, if she'd been there.

They chatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and Zoe looked uncomfortable, as her father ordered wine. She realized after a few minutes that Leslie worked at his firm. But Zoe thought it was in bad taste to include his daughter on a date.

“Have you worked there for long?” Zoe asked, trying to be polite, and wishing she weren't there.

“About fourteen months. I moved here from Atlanta right before that, with my little girl.” Zoe realized then that she had a faint southern accent, and she asked how old her little girl was, for lack of anything better to say.

She hated being there at all. “She's five,” Leslie said, smiling and looking very young, as her father looked proudly at his friend. It was as though he wanted Zoe to admire her too, which had been the wrong thing to do. She felt disloyal to her mother just being with them.

“She's a beautiful little girl,” Alex added proudly, as Zoe cringed inwardly. “She's adorable.” It was obvious that her father had established a relationship with both of them.

“She's learning French. She goes to a French kindergarten. Your father thought that would be good for her.” Zoe raised an eyebrow and then controlled herself instantly. She couldn't remember her father ever being that interested in where she went to school.

“That's nice for her,” Zoe said, and took a sip of wine. Leslie had asked for champagne. And then Zoe nearly choked at what Leslie said next.

“This is kind of a special night for us,” Leslie said with a coy smile at Alex, and he looked mildly uncomfortable. But the idea of taking Zoe out to dinner with them had been his. He wanted his daughters to meet her. “It's our anniversary,” Leslie said, tossing her hair back over her shoulder as Zoe looked at her.

“Really? What kind of anniversary?” Zoe asked. It had to be a month or two, which seemed pathetic to her.

“We've been dating for a year. We had our first date a year ago tonight.” Alex looked paralyzed for an instant, and then pretended he hadn't heard. There was nothing else he could do, as Zoe stared at them both.

“You've been dating for a year?” Zoe's voice was suddenly a high-pitched squeak.

“Not really,” Alex interjected then. “I think Leslie means we've known each other for a year. We met shortly after she came to work.”

“That's not true. Tonight is the anniversary of our first date.” She looked hurt that he either hadn't remembered or didn't want to admit it, and Zoe's face went pale.

“That's interesting, since my father left my mom two months ago. I guess you guys were going out for quite a while before that.”

“Yes, we were,” Leslie smiled, and with that, Zoe stood up and accidentally overturned her wine, and it spilled across the table, as Leslie moved back to avoid getting splashed.

“I think that's disgusting, Dad,” Zoe said, looking at him. “How could you bring me here to celebrate with you? After all the things you've said about Mom, and about it being her fault, you make me sick. Why don't you have the guts to tell Eloise the truth, instead of poisoning her against Mom? Why don't you just tell her you were screwing around, and had a girlfriend for nearly a year before you walked out on her? It would be honest at least.”

Alex's eyes were blazing. He hadn't expected Leslie to give him away. She was obviously not too bright. He was totally infatuated with her, and he had had no clue that she'd do that. “Why don't you sit down and we'll talk about it,” he said quietly, while his daughter looked at him with contempt. But he was trapped behind the table on the banquette, and couldn't move.

“No, thanks. I've got other plans,” Zoe said, turned on her heel with remarkable aplomb given how shaken she felt, and walked out of the restaurant. As soon as she got out on the sidewalk, she started to run, hailed a cab, and went home. She was crying when she walked in the front door, and Faith was on the phone with Brad. He was talking about a case he was worried about, and she had told him Zoe was going out to dinner with her father. She was startled when she heard the front door slam, and Zoe ran into her study in tears.

“What happened?” Faith stopped talking to Brad to look at her. Her eye makeup had run down her face, and she looked like a little girl who'd been beaten up in school.

“He's a total son of a bitch, Mom. Why didn't you tell me about that girl? Did you know about her?”

“What girl?” Faith looked shocked. “Wait a minute … Brad, I'll call you back.” He could hear a crisis brewing, and hung up immediately. “What happened? What are you talking about?”

“Dad had a woman with him. Some fourteen-year-old tart named Leslie. She had long black hair and big boobs, and she had the nerve to tell me it was their first anniversary, and they were celebrating it with me. What a fucking disgusting thing to do. Did you know about her, Mom?”

“Sit down,” Faith said quietly, and handed her a tissue. “Wipe your face … calm down … yes, I know about her,” her mother said calmly, without volunteering more. He had finally done it to himself. It had been an incredibly stupid thing to do.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“Because it was none of your business. It was up to your father to tell you, if he wanted to, and I didn't think he would.” She didn't offer Zoe any of the details, nor would she.

“Is that why he left you?”

“I guess so. Maybe that, and some other things. He said he wanted a life, and was bored with me. She's a lot younger than I am, that's for sure. And probably a lot more fun.”

“She's a total moron with tits. What is he doing with her? And how could he leave you for her? How could he take me to dinner with her?” It had been the most humiliating moment in her life. Zoe had felt cheated and betrayed and used, and what little respect she'd had for her father to begin with utterly disappeared.

“Maybe he's serious about her,” Faith said, looking depressed. She felt it as another slap in the face, after many, but this time he had slapped Zoe too. And she hated him for that. His children didn't belong in his affairs. Unless this was more than that, and he was sharing that with them. If so, Zoe would have to adjust and accept Leslie for who she was to him. But it was a little early, to say the least, to be flaunting her.

“If he marries her, I'll kill myself, or him.”

“He's not marrying anyone, yet. He's still married to me.” But in five more months, he wouldn't be. She just couldn't imagine him introducing that girl to his daughters so soon.

It took her an hour to calm Zoe down, and then before Faith could stop her, she picked up the phone. She dialed Ellie in London. It was three in the morning for her. Faith tried to convince her to wait until she'd calmed down, but Zoe only waved her away. And Eloise must have picked up the phone in her sleep.

“Wake up,” Zoe said bluntly, “it's me … No, I won't call you back … listen to me. Do you know what our shithead father did tonight… he just took me to dinner with his girlfriend, who looks about fourteen, to celebrate their one-year anniversary with them. One year! Do you hear me! He's been dating her for a year. And that's why he left Mom! Now what do you think of your hero? After all the shit you gave Mom, you owe her a humongous apology.” There was a long silence then on Ellie's end, and Zoe just kept confirming what she'd heard and seen. They argued for a long time, and Faith left the room. She went down to the kitchen and called Brad on the other line. He was still in the office, and she explained what had happened. He whistled at his end of the phone.