ANTONIO: Diablos MC (6 page)

              ‘But. But I get the shot.  I don’t understand.”  This isn’t happening.

              “Yes the shot can be very affective and its good you get it on time every 4 months.  Being on time helps keep its effectiveness but honestly when we give it we preach very hard that the shot is only 99% effective.  That means dear there is a 1% chance you could get pregnant.  And if the ultrasound shows what I am assuming it will show you are one of the lucky 1%.”

              “Are you sure I just don’t have the flu?”  Trying like hell to get any other answer other than I am pregnant.

              “Ok while the technician gets the ultra sound machine up and running let’s go over all your symptoms.  You came in this morning presenting to be very tired, body aches which can be a result from getting sick so often, and vomiting often.  And with the fact that you can’t remember the last time you had your period and I am assuming you are having sex.”  I shake my head yes.  “Well than dear I think it is safe to say you are more than likely pregnant.  So why don’t we walk a crossed the hall and just have a look.  If I am right, then you will leave here today with your first picture of your new little baby and if I am wrong well then we do blood work and start figuring out what else may be wrong.  Does that sound like a plan?”

              I shake my head yes.  Following Doctor James to the ultra sound room, get undressed like she has requested and lay down.  After a few minutes I sit on the table crying.  Crying uncontrollably.  It is my worst nightmare.  I am for sure pregnant.  From what the doctor can tell I am about 2 months along.  Which means I probably got pregnant from the first night Toni and I had sex.  Should have known.  No one has that great of an orgasm without it altering their life in some way.  Mine just happened to be a change that last forever.  And my tears aren’t all bad tears.  I have always wanted to be a mom. The idea of having a little baby that will be just as handsome as it’s daddy warms my heart.  But that is as far as my happiness can go.  Toni has told me several times he is not daddy material.  He never wants kids.  I have even over heard him talking to other Brothers at the club if he was ever put in a position of either choosing having a kid or abortion he would choose abortion.  I don’t really know why he is so strong on not having kids but whatever it is I know he won’t be happy about this.  Which is why I can’t stop crying.  The doctor has asked me to get dressed and meet her in her office to discuss options. 

              Once settled inside her office she starts laying out all my options.  I stop her right as she gets going.  “Doc I know I am crying and no this is not all good news for me right now but I am keeping this baby.  I do not need or want any other options.” 

              After about another 10 minutes in the doctor’s office I am walking out into the lobby with a bag full of prenatal vitamins and pamphlets on what I should be expecting and what I can and can’t eat.  I honestly have no idea what any of it all means.  I will read it all later.  Just right now I want to get as far away from this office as I can.  When I walk out into the lobby I am still crying. 

              “Haylee what is wrong?”  Monica says rushing over to me.  I don’t say anything while we walk out to her car.  Once settled inside Monica turns and looks at me “Haylee you are freakin me out.  It is nothing serious is it?  You don’t have cancer or anything like that do you?”

              I start to laugh “Oh I am sure Toni will wish I had cancer.” 

              “What the fuck Haylee this isn’t funny.”  Monica yells.  “Tell me what is wrong now.” I hand her my bag.  When she pulls out my bottle of pills she gasps in shock. “Oh my god Haylee.  Are you pregnant?” I shake my head yes.  “I don’t understand.  We get the shot together.  How can you be pregnant?” 

              “Well my dear friend when they give us the shot do you remember them saying it only works 99% of the time.”  She shakes her head yes.  “Well I am the lucky winner of the 1% it doesn’t.”

              “Oh my god.  What are you going to do?  How do you think Toni will react?”  All good questions and all questions I already have the answer to.

              “I am keeping the baby.  And as for Toni well I think he has made himself very clear.  He does not want to be a dad.  So I guess that means I am a single mom and he can go back to being single man whore Toni.  Cause there is nothing that can or will change my mind.  Not even my love for Toni.  I am keeping this baby.”

              Monica wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. “Well I am here for you.  Whatever you need or want I am here.” Monica says.  I love this girl.  She is truly a great friend and I know she will love my baby just like it is her own.  “When are you going to tell Toni?”

              “I am going to tell him after we get back.  I don’t want to ruin the trip.  Even if it is our last weekend together.  I am going to enjoy every minute of it.” I say with a smile on my face.  And I will. I will enjoy every second I have with him.  Even knowing it will be brief.

              We sit in silence during the ride back to our apartment.  Once we get home we have only 45 minutes to finish getting ready before the guys get here to pick us up.  Originally they wanted to drive their bikes but with how sick I have been lately Toni convinced Tank to drive his truck.  Saying it would be better for me if I could rest on the way.  When the guys arrive Toni rushes in and asks “So.  What did the doctor say?”  Clearly he is worried.  Which I love him for worrying so much but I can’t tell him what is really wrong with me.  He will leave me.  And I am just not ready for that yet.

              So I just put on a smile and say “Oh it is nothing.  Doctor says everything will be fine.  Even gave me some meds to help stop throwing up.  All will be fine.”  I lean up and give him a kiss.

              Toni’s shoulders sink and he breaths out a sigh of relief.  “Thank god.  Tank had me convinced earlier today that you were pregnant.”  He says laughing. 

              Before I can respond Monica jumps in “And what would be wrong if she was pregnant.  Woman get pregnant everyday Toni.  Its natural.  Especially if you have sex.”  She says all defensive. 

              Holding his hands up warding off Monica’s wrath and says “You are right Monica.  Woman everyday get pregnant.  I am just thankful Haylee isn’t.  I just don’t want to be a dad.”

              “You don’t ever want to have kids?  Even with Haylee.”  She asks.  I have already told her all of this.  But I think she needs to hear it herself first-hand to understand my comments from earlier. I know most people would have assumed I was just freaking out and worried but Toni and I have talked about all this.  You know doing the whole getting to know each other thing.  And he has always been very adamant about never wanting to have kids.

              Toni shakes his head no.  “Look I don’t expect you to understand Monica but Haylee and I have talked about this a lot and she knows I will not ever be a dad ever.  Even with her.  Just the way I am.”  He says with a shrug.  Only if it was that easy.

              Monica turns and looks at me wide eyed.  He just confirmed everything I told her earlier.  Single mom here I come. I can do this.  And I will do this.  But for now I am done thinking about it.  I want to have fun and enjoy what little bit of time I have left with him. Giving Monica a small smile I say “Ok well I am done talking about this.  Let’s get going and have some fun.”  Turning away from everyone so they can’t see the sadness on my face.

              “Hell yeah let’s go.”  Toni says as he walks towards the door. 

              “I am going to use the bathroom before we leave.  I will meet you down there.”  I say walking down the hall.  I need a second to recoup a little.  Today has been over whelming, shocking and scary as hell all at the same time. When I walk out of the bathroom I find Tank resting against the wall. I smile at him “I had a good idea about going again before we leave didn’t I.”  I say jokingly as I walk past him.

              He grabs my arm lightly to stop me.  Looks at me a little sad “How far along are you?” I stand there wide eyed.  Man today just keeps getting better and better every second.  I can’t even form words.  Tank senses my hesitation and continues.  “I am not dumb or blind Haylee.  Toni is for sure but I am not.  I have been around enough pregnant woman to know when one is pregnant.  And to know when a woman is lying.  So how far a long are you?”

              Quietly I say “Two months.  I just found out today.  I swear I am going to tell Toni I just kind of wanted to enjoy this weekend first before everything goes to shit.”

              He shakes his head in agreement.  “I promise I won’t tell him.  You do that on your own time.  Hopefully with it being real and actually happening he will come around and change his thought process on being a dad.  But either way no matter what I am here for you darling.  You know I love you dearly. You are like a sister to me.  So anything you need I am here.”  He says wrapping me in his arms for a big hug. 

              I start to cry all over again.  Ever since that first night at the club Tank and I have become very good friends.  Not just because he is dating my best friend but because we just grew to appreciate and cherish each other as a sibling type of friendship.  He is like a brother to me.  I truly feel loved and safe with him.  And I know no matter what happens with Toni my baby will be protected for its entire life.  Wrapping my arms around Tank I say “thank you” before letting go and making my way down to the truck.  Settled in the back behind Toni’s seat, I sit back and relax.  Monica would reach over and grab my hand to show me support every now and then but honestly I know it’s there.  No matter what.

              I must have dozed off shortly after leaving our apartment because I wake up to Toni standing beside me, door opened and lightly shaking me.  “Haylee baby we are here.” 

              Sitting up I stretch and give Toni a small smile.  “Wow that was quick.”

              He laughs.  “It really wasn’t.  Took an hour longer than it should have but you slept through the entire drive.  But you look rested and a little better.  Do you feel any better?”  He asks all concerned.

              I shake my head yes.  “I feel better.  And very rested.  Ready to get this party started.”

              An hour later we are all settled in our hotel rooms, changed, did a little messing around while we waited for Monica and Tank to get ready and now waiting in line to get seated for dinner.  I am wearing a short strapless black sequined dress with killer black 3 inch heels.  Toni said I look like the grim reaper tonight because I am going to get him killed wearing shit like that.  I know that was his nice way of saying my outfit is too sexy in his eyes but I stood my ground and wore it.  Honestly I did it for two reasons.  One I wanted him to remember how fucking hot I am and two soon I won’t be able to wear clothes like this.  To me it’s not really sexy with a big ass belly full of baby in tight dresses like this.  So for now what Toni wants don’t matter.  I am what matters. 

              Soon we are all seated at a table, laughing and just having fun.  Toni offered to get me some wine but I turned him down.  Both Monica and Tank looked at me with worry. I am sure wondering how I would get out of this without making it look obvious.  I never turn down Toni when he offers to get me a drink.  It is just something he does even with me being underage.  But I give a little white lie that I know he will buy for now.  “Sorry Toni but I can’t.  Doc said no alcohol with my meds.”  He just shakes his head in understanding and left it at that.  After dinner we all head to the night club attached to the restaurant.  Toni has me out on the dance floor wrapped in his arms swaying to the music.  Everything feels so good and so right.  I don’t know why but right now I feel like I want to share my news with him.  He loves me so much. I can see it in his actions and the way he watches me.  Maybe Tank is right.  Maybe if it is real and in front of his face he will have a different outlook on everything.  Maybe he will want our little bundle of joy and stay with me.  I know this may not be the most fantastic time but I hate keeping it from him.  And honestly all this back and forth wondering if he will leave me or stay is starting to drive me crazy.  So it is now or never. 

              Wrapping my arms around Toni I say “Toni I need to tell you something.”

              He squeezes me tighter to him and nods his head for me to continue.  So I do.  “First I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world.” 

Bringing his lips to mine he whispers “I love you too babe.”