Anxious Love (Love Sick #1) (16 page)

My idea had pushed her firmly into
the world versus her
mode. The vibe was similar to when she met Kori and when she met Kelly and Daniel.

"Only part of the stadium is open during training camp for the fans. You can watch in one of the closed sections or in a suite. I'll hire security if I have to. Anything you need to feel safe and comfortable."

"How would I get in the stadium?" she asked.

"I have to figure that out. I know you can drive up on the concourse level. I see cars driving around up there all the time."

"You've really thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

"Well, yeah. I think you would enjoy it, but you don't have to decide right now. I wanted to give you some time to think about it. Work your mind around it."

The pain on her face hurt my heart. I rubbed her leg, and she relaxed, but the scowl remained.

"Please, just think about it. Or even if you get there, and it doesn't feel right, then you can leave."

"I don't know, Ryan."

"Hey, you can see me in my football uniform. You should see how hot I look in those pants."

She smiled at my joke but with no feeling behind it. She frowned and looked down at her half-eaten burger. "Why is this so important to you?"

Fair question.

"It's for selfish reasons really. The idea of having someone I care so much about in the stands cheering me on makes me happy."

Leah blinked back tears. "Is this because of your mother?"

Shit. I didn't mean to make her cry. "No."

The tears were falling now.

"Oh, baby. I'm sorry. Please don't cry. Fuck, I don't want to guilt you into doing anything you're not comfortable with. I—"

"No, I know. I..." She bit her lip, but the tears continued. "I'm not crying because of that. You are so sweet to me... I-I want to make you happy."

I stood up and moved to her side of the booth. I cupped her face in my hand and raised her chin up as my lips came crashing down on hers. When I pulled back, she exhaled as I wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You do make me happy."

I kissed her again trying to convey how much I meant it.

It had been a month, and Sophie and I hadn't spoken.

I worried about her because she had cut off communication with Allie and Mark, too. I’d hear her around her apartment one day, and a week would go by before I saw or heard her again.

While Ryan was at training camp, I buried myself in outlining a new series. I had football players on the brain, and after hearing about Ryan's teammates, the creative and sexy storylines flowed.

Working preventing me from stressing about watching his practice, but it was never far from my mind.

Ryan didn’t mention it again until a few days before he returned. I half hoped he had forgotten.

"I come home tomorrow night and have a day off."

"I know. What should we do all night and day?" I asked.

"You have any ideas?"

"I have some," I answered.

"Me, too."

"Tell me," I said.

Ryan cleared his throat. "Well, it starts with me undressing you and getting reacquainted with all my favorite parts of your beautiful body."

"Your favorite parts? That would mean there are some parts that aren't your favorite?"

"Seriously, Leah. I'm trying to be romantic."

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Continue. Be romantic."

"Okay, after I get"—he cleared his throat—"reacquainted, and then I'll take you out for a burger."

"Yummy." My insides warmed from the way he said reacquainted.

"Then I thought we could take an early morning stroll over to the Superdome."

"The Superdome?"

"Yeah. Before every game, we do a walkthrough. That way we are more familiar with the situation before the actual game starts. I thought we could do a walkthrough of your visit to practice."

"Ryan, I..." My heart rate increased. He hadn't forgotten.

"I know I said I wasn't going to push it. You can still say no, but at least do the walkthrough with me. That way if you do decide to come to practice, you'll know what to expect."

His day off, while we spent most of the time getting reacquainted, I couldn't focus. It pissed me off because I was sure I wasted a few good orgasmic opportunities. My brain couldn't let go. Not all the time. Ryan did his best to make sure I didn't think too much, and in those times, I was screaming his name.

If he could employ that tactic while I was at his practice, I would have no problem.

At seven am, Ryan and I walked up one of the ramps to the concourse at the Louisiana Superdome. The round spaceship structure brought to mind the horrible scenes people described during Hurricane Katrina. The sun shone bright, and the sky was so blue, but I couldn't shake the ominous feel of the place.

We stood by one of the entrances, hand in hand. My hands were sweating, but in my mind, I blamed it on the heat.

"You okay?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ryan narrowed his eyes. "Really, I'm fine."

He pulled me close and laid a kiss on top of my head. I breathed him in and exhaled, drawing comfort from his embrace. Could he feel it? Me sucking the energy from him.

I turned as the door opened. A whoosh of cold air escaped the building, inviting us in out of the heat.

We turned, and the warm smile of a burly, light-skinned man with a heavy Creole accent greeted us. "Good morning, Ryan."

"Hey, Mr. Thibodeaux. Good morning."

He extended his meaty hand and shook Ryan's huge, lean hand. I watched the exchange, the way Ryan's body relaxed when he spoke to him. My body relaxed in the same manner as Mr. Thibodeaux addressed me.

"You must be Ms. Leah. Pleasure." His hand enveloped mine, and it made me smile. "You two come on in."

"Nice to meet you."

"Thanks for meeting us so early," Ryan said.

"Of course." He locked the door behind us. "So, Ms. Leah, Ryan said you want to come to practice but want to avoid the crowds. I don't blame you. New Orleans fans get excited about their Saints. I would suggest you come to Thursday's practice. The first few days will be more crazy, so people will have settled down by then. Here's my card."

He handed me a black business card that said Thibodeaux security, the official security team for the New Orleans Saints and the Louisiana Superdome.

"The ramp you just walked up. I'll have security down there. Call me when you are five minutes away, and I'll alert the guy to let you in. I'll meet you right here and walk you to your seat."

"This is your company?" I asked. The owner of a security firm doesn't have to babysit me.

"Family company, my grandfather started it back in 1945." He said with pride.

We followed him through the concourse toward the stadium seats. When we reached the top of the stairs that descended down into the stadium, I stopped.

"Wow." My eyes grew wide as I took it all in. A couple of people on the field near the sidelines arranged benches and tables. A few guys across the stadium on the upper level hung signs.

"It's pretty spectacular, isn't it?" Mr. Thibodeaux said.

"It's massive," Ryan said.

We descended the steps and stopped halfway down.

"You will have the entire end zone to yourself." Mr. Thibodeaux stretched his hands out. He pointed with his right hand. "See them roping off the section?"

I nodded.

"That's as far as the public will get to you, so you will be perfectly safe."

"Thanks, Mr. Thibodeaux," Ryan said.

"No, worries, friend." He started up the stairs. "You two take as much time as you need and then leave the way you came. I'll come by and lock it later."

"Thank you," I said, happy to have found my voice.

"No problem, Ms. Leah."

"Thursday would be a good day," I said more to myself.

"Terrific," Mr. Thibodeaux answered anyway.

I smiled and turned back to find Ryan staring down at me with a goofy grin on his face. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down the row we stopped on and sat down. Ryan sat next to me.

"I'm so proud of you." He placed his arms on my shoulder.

"I'm pretty proud of myself." I grinned at myself. I took Ryan's other hand and kissed it.

I hoped my newfound bravery would last.

Even though he was back in town, he had to stay at the hotel with the team. Ryan practiced and worked out all day and attended team meetings and position meetings all afternoon and evening. He called me every night, but we kept our conversation light, sexy, and fun. We tried FaceTime sex once when he was in West Virginia, but it weirded us both out. We laughed too much to get each other off.

We didn't talk about me coming to practice at all. I went back and forth in my mind about attending. I had told him and Mr. Thibodeaux I would, but I wasn't sure.

In the end, my need to see him outweighed my anxiety. On Thursday morning, I found myself sitting in a car, in my cute little white-capped sleeved shirtdress and my leather Keds—I was going for sexy, sporty, casual—at the designated drop-off spot waiting for Mr. Thibodeaux. My mantra for today was
wait until you see his face
. I hoped his gorgeous face and the pride in his eyes would make me all warm and fuzzy all over, and I loved the way that made me feel.

Mr. Thibodeaux greeted me with a firm and supportive handshake.

While the walkthrough had been quiet and tranquil, today, as we entered the stadium, the noise hit me in the gut. My growing excitement tempered the usual feelings of dread. I turned to Mr. Thibodeaux, who watched me with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm fine."

It wasn’t sure if the sound of cheering people spurred on the excitement or the music. The announcer’s booming voice welcomed everyone to the 2015 New Orleans Saints Training Camp causing the excitement to ratchet up another level.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I said with a giggle and touched his shoulder. He seemed to relax from my touch and motioned over to the stands.

"So you know if you need to leave, just go out the same way you came. I'll be up here if you need me."

"You sure you don't have something better to do than watch over me? I'm not keeping you from your job, am I?"

"Today, you are my job, Ms. Leah." With that, he nodded and turned toward the field.

My gaze scanned the entire stadium. It was jarring when I realized how many people were in the stands, but I walked down a few rows, slid into the seat by the aisle, and continued to take it all in. I checked out the sideline next and watched the coaches and team assistants scurrying around taking care of stuff and directing the players.

I gripped the armrest as a buzzer sounded and the chaos turned into an organized mess when the players took to the field. Over one hundred players suited up in white football pants and white and black jerseys covered the field.

A group of three players all had gold jerseys. Those were the quarterbacks.

I ran my eyes up and down each aisle searching for my Ryan.

When I spotted him, in the third row from the back, and two from the left, I gasped. The power of his stare reached all the way up into the stands and hit me.

God, he looks good.

He grinned that sexy grin he gave me when he knew what I was thinking about. The corners of his lips turned up, and his eyes grew dark and penetrated my soul. I couldn't look away. It wasn't until another buzzer went off that he tore his eyes away from me and joined his teammates in a synchronized stretching routine.

I relaxed back against the plastic seat, crossed my right leg over my left, placed my hands on my lap, and watched Ryan Ware and the New Orleans Saints practice along with five thousand other fans. I rubbed the eighty-nine pendant around my neck.

I laughed when I found a small group of teenage girls with Ryan Ware's number ninety-nine jerseys on holding a sign saying
Ryan Ware's Biggest Fan
. They had it wrong.

Ryan Ware's biggest fan, that would be me.

I should have paid more attention in practice, but I hit my assignments. We game planned for the next preseason game, which was on Monday, and I was only in half the assignments since some of the other rookies and guys who weren't guaranteed a spot needed to get some work.