As You Wish (2 page)

Todd straightened himself and looked confused. “You think people should get paid for teaching Sunday school? Is that it? You want to be paid?”

“No, of course not. You're not hearing what I'm saying. I just . . . it seems that . . . well . . .”

“What?”

“Todd, I think you should have let me think about it before you went ahead and made a commitment for me.”

“Oh.” Todd nodded slowly. “You're right. I apologize. I spoke for you instead of letting you decide. I shouldn't have done that.”

Christy shifted uncomfortably. “I didn't say I absolutely wouldn't consider maybe sometimes teaching or at least helping out.”

Now Todd was the one who sounded exasperated. “Are you saying you will teach or you won't?”

“I don't know. Let me have some time to think about it, okay?”

“Okay. Take all the time you need. Decision making has never been your strong point, has it.” The thought wasn't spoken as a question but as a statement. Christy hated to admit it, but the remark was true. Still, it felt like a slap of cold water.

“Todd,” Christy stated firmly, lining up her thoughts and preparing to defend herself. “I think that—”

Before she could finish, Todd said, “Hey, our dinner is here.”

Christy looked out at the parking lot and saw a young guy walking toward them wearing a red-striped shirt and carrying a pizza box.

“Are you Todd Spencer?” he called out as he approached.

“Yeah, that's me. You're right on time. Thanks.” Todd paid for the pizza and took the box.

“Have a nice night,” the guy said and then jogged back to his delivery car.

“This is what you meant by having reservations?” Christy asked. “This is your quiet, out-of-the-way place?”

Todd grinned. “Cool, huh? Just the two of us. Perfect night. Great atmosphere. It's not exactly the Island of Capri, but we have hula-dancing palm trees for our dining entertainment.”

Christy stared at Todd. She didn't know if she should be charmed or bummed.

“I ordered their monster combo.” Todd opened the box. “Looks like they went a little heavy on the onions and bell peppers. You can take off anything you don't like and put it on my half. Do you want to pray before we eat, or should I?”

“I think you better,” Christy said.

She did her best to hide her feelings, which still stung from Todd's comment about her inability to make decisions. Yet the hurt hung over her like a shadow for the rest of their time together. She only ate two pieces of pizza and silently listened as Todd filled her in on more details about his new position.

When they walked back, hand in hand, to her dorm room, Christy said, “Sorry I got so stressed about the Sunday school thing.”

“Don't worry about it,” Todd said. “I'll be back on campus Friday to move into my dorm room, and we can talk some more then.”

“Okay,” Christy said. “Call me when you get here. Katie and I can help, if you want.”

He stopped at the front door of Sophia Hall and leaned over to give Christy a soft kiss. If he was upset or disappointed with her, it didn't show in his words or in his kiss. “See you Friday.”

Christy found her dorm room unlocked and Katie, her red-haired best friend, standing precariously on a chair, trying to squeeze a small stereo speaker onto the top of their built-in bookshelf.

“Oh, good, you're back.” Katie gave the edge of the speaker a whap with the palm of her hand and commanded it to stay in place. “Where did you and Todd go to eat?”

“He made reservations at a quiet, out-of-the-way place.” Christy flopped on her bed.

Katie stopped to stare. “Are we talking about Todd Spencer? Your Todd Spencer?”

“Yes. It actually was very creative. He ordered a pizza and had it delivered to the fountain in the central plaza, if you can believe that.”

“How romantic!”

“It would have been if I wasn't such a bean head.”

“You? A bean head?” Katie climbed down from the chair but still was eyeing the speaker as if commanding it to stay in place.

“Yes, me. What is my problem?”

“Which one should we discuss?” Katie made herself comfortable on the foot of Christy's bed. Katie was always ready for a good evaluation session.

“Forget I asked that.”

“Oh, come on. Give me a hint. Why did Todd come all the way here tonight?” Katie's perceptive green eyes
examined Christy's expression. “Let me guess. He drove an hour and a half from Newport Beach because he missed you so much, right?”

“Not exactly.” Christy told Katie about Todd's new position as youth director at Riverview Heights, including the parts about Christy teaching the junior high girls' class and Todd's comment concerning her inability to make decisions.

“Well, that is true, you know,” Katie said. “I mean, you have gotten a lot better about making decisions and everything, but I don't think you should be upset with Todd for saying that. It was an observation, not a criticism.”

“Well, I am upset. I feel like crying my eyes out.”

“That's probably because of the jet lag. You were in Switzerland for a year, Christy. Your body has had only a few days to adjust to the time change. Give yourself a break. That's why we decided to move into the dorm early, remember? You were the one who said you needed a chance to adjust to all the changes.”

“Arrrrgh!” Christy pulled a pillow over her head. “I hate change!”

“Now we're getting somewhere.” Katie grabbed the pillow and used it for a backrest. “Remember, flexibility is a sign of good mental health.”

“Oh, please!” Christy yanked at the pillow. “Give me back my pillow.”

“Only if you promise you'll work on a better attitude about Todd's new job. This is what he wanted, you know. It's perfect for him.”

“I know. It is.”

“It's a real job.” Katie handed the pillow to Christy. “A career. A ministry. Something permanent. This isn't like all
his random jobs over the years.”

Christy made herself comfortable. She knew Katie was determined to shower her with advice. Resistance was futile. And even though Christy wouldn't admit it, deep down she wanted to hear what Katie had to say.

“This is it, Chris. This is the final stretch for you guys. It's possible that both of you could graduate this year.”

“Only if I can figure out what I want my major to be.” Christy sighed.

“You will. When is your appointment with your counselor?”

“Friday.”

“That works,” Katie said. “You can sleep all day tomorrow to get over your jet lag. On Thursday you can find a job, and on Friday figure out everything with your classes and your major. By the time Todd arrives Friday afternoon, your life will be in order.”

“I wish,” Christy said. “It's not always that easy, Katie.”

“And it's not always as complicated as you make it. I mean, can I just say that it's obvious God is doing all His God-things at the right time so you and Todd can get married and get on with your lives together?”

“Katie, you're assuming an awful lot.”

“Assuming a lot?
Moi?”

Just then someone knocked rapidly on the door. Katie hopped up and swung open the door. The visitor who came floating in wore a glowing expression. Her wild, curly blond hair cascaded over her shoulders.

“And just where have you been, Little Miss Happy Heart?” Katie asked.

Sierra Jensen, a fun-loving, free-spirited freshman, gave Katie an impulsive hug and then flitted over to Christy and
gave her a hug. Sierra had been roommates with Katie and Christy two years ago when they had met on a missions trip in England. Despite Katie and Christy being older than Sierra, they were all close friends.

“I've been to the chapel.” Sierra twirled dramatically. She spun around to Katie's beanbag chair and lowered herself with a poof.

“I take it you saw Paul.” Katie pulled up a chair. “What happened? Did you guys have a chance to talk?”

“Yes. Everything is wonderful now.” Sierra fiddled with the dangling silver earring in her left ear.

“Details, please,” Katie said. “Don't leave anything out.”

“Well,” Sierra began, “you both know how everything was so disastrous with Paul a few hours ago.”

“Slightly,” Katie answered for both of them.

“Everything is perfect now. We talked and prayed together in the chapel, and it's like we're starting our relationship all over. We both have the same understanding and expectations, and it's just right. Not too fast, not too slow. Just right.”

Christy smiled.
I remember a few brief seasons when I felt that way about Todd. As much as I said I didn't like it at the time, those stretches—when we knew our relationship was in a holding pattern while we figured out who we were and what we were going to do with our lives—were comforting and settling. So why am I nervous about making the next round of decisions in our relationship? I wish I could figure out why I feel this way.

Sierra pulled Katie's beanbag chair closer to Christy's bed and wiggled herself into a comfortable position. “After a whole year of Paul's being in Scotland, now he's less than an hour away. And we're both in the same place in our understanding of our relationship. Finally! No unrealistic
expectations. I can't believe how I was starting to make everything so complicated.”

“Did you hear that?” Katie gave Christy a motherly look. “Why would you want to complicate things with Todd when it's all finally coming together so naturally?”

“And did you hear what Sierra just said about unrealistic expectations?” Christy countered.

Sierra's expression turned somber. “Everything is okay between you and Todd, isn't it?”

Katie answered for Christy, “She's afraid of the future.”

“I am not,” Christy snapped. “I'm just not ready to talk about getting married.”

“Who's talking about getting married?” Sierra asked.

Katie raised her hand. “I am.”

Sierra's eyes opened wide. “You, Katie? Who are you planning to marry?”

Katie laughed. “I'm not talking about
my
getting married. I was talking about Todd and Christy getting married. It was the topic
du jour
right before you knocked on the door. It's the next step for Todd and Christy, and she's afraid to make such a huge decision.”

“Katie, that is not what I said, and you know it.”

“Okay. What did you say?”

Christy sighed. Part of her didn't want to discuss this with Katie and Sierra right now. However, another part of her had longed for the closeness of good friends while she was in Switzerland. She had even written in her diary how much she was looking forward to settling into Rancho Corona University so she could spill her guts to Katie and be open to her best friend's advice. Having Sierra to talk to, as well, was a bonus.

“Okay, this is the whole thing. Just listen, please. Both of
you. I promise I'll listen to your advice, but first let me say what I'm thinking.”

Katie and Sierra leaned forward, their expressions open and warm.

“This is what I know for sure. I know I love Todd.”

“But you haven't told him,” Katie jumped in.

“I said let me say everything first.”

“Oops.” Katie covered her mouth. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

“I know I love Todd, and yes, I haven't been able to tell him yet. I know he loves me. He has told me he loves me at least a dozen times since that first time in Switzerland this summer. But, you see, to me there's something really deep and final about telling him I love him. It's only a tiny step away from saying I promise to be committed to him. Forever.”

“And you don't feel ready to say that to Todd?” Katie surmised.

Christy looked at her hands. The overhead light in their room caught the corner of the gold ID bracelet Todd had given her years ago when he had promised that, no matter what happened, he would always be her friend. She ran her finger over the word “Forever” engraved on the bracelet.

Sierra jumped in. “Does it feel too final to you? Are you thinking that the moment you tell Todd you love him he'll say, ‘Then let's get married'?”

“Maybe. I don't know.”

“He's not going to propose to you on the spot,” Katie said.

“And what if he does? Why wouldn't you want to marry him?” Sierra asked. “Haven't you been thinking that was the direction your relationship was going all along?”

“Yes and no. Sometimes I think I'm ready to marry him
right then and there and never look back or have any regrets. Then other times I look at him and I think, ‘Who is this guy?' There's so much I don't know about him.”

“So? Give yourself some time to get to know Todd better,” Sierra said. “That's what Paul and I are doing. Not that we're even thinking about marriage. Neither of us is. We have plenty of time to get to know each other as friends without any pressure to make it more than that.”

“Right,” Katie said. “But Christy and Todd have already been through that phase for . . . what? The last five years?”

Christy nodded.

“It's time for them to make decisions, and sorry, Chris, but I have to say this. Todd is right. Decision making has never been your favorite thing.”

Christy didn't feel as wounded when Katie said it. She actually found it easier to agree and slowly nodded her head. But something more lay behind her uncertainty over Todd, and she felt she was on the edge of formulating that very important thought.

Katie turned to Sierra and continued her analysis of Christy as if she weren't sitting there. “Christy likes things to be planned and in a logical order. You know, ‘First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.' ”