As You Wish (7 page)

Christy remembered the verse she had read that morning and paraphrased it for Todd and Katie. “Only those who receive Him and believe on His name have the right to become children of God.”

Todd, who usually quoted Bible verses and came up with bits of wisdom at times like this, looked at Christy with an expression of pleasant surprise.

“I read that this morning. First chapter of John.”

“How did you have time to read your Bible this morning?” Katie asked. “You had an early appointment. I don't know how you did it. I slept until eleven, and don't ask me about my quiet time. It didn't happen. I know that's a terrible thing to admit when you go to a Christian college.”

“Just keep being honest about it, Katie,” Todd advised.
“It's only bad when you fake it with God or with the rest of us.”

“Did I ever tell you what my roommate did last semester?” Katie asked. “She was so funny. She made this fancy sign that said
word
and taped it to the foot of her bed. Then she went around telling everyone that she had spent six hours in the word that night.”

Todd grinned. “That's not exactly what I meant by honesty.”

“I don't get it,” Christy said.

Katie rolled her eyes. “She was ‘in the word' because she put the sign
word
on her bed.”

“I know, but—”

“It's a Christian college lingo thing,” Katie explained. “You'll start to hear it more and more. When people talk about their quiet time with God, they say they were ‘in the Word.' You know, studying the Word of God.”

“Oh.”

“I guess those kinds of jokes weren't real big in Basel,” Katie said.

“No,” Christy said flatly. “I was amazed when I met a few other Christians, and we could actually attend church together. I can't tell you how much I looked forward to being here with you guys.”

Suddenly Christy remembered the other “guy” she was supposed to meet for dinner at six. Matthew Kingsley.

“What time is it?” Christy asked.

Todd turned and read the clock on the far wall. “Seven-thirty. Do you need to get back?”

Christy sunk in her seat. “No.” She decided it was too complicated to try to explain that she had made dinner
plans with another guy on the same night Todd arrived on campus.

How could I have forgotten? Did I forget on purpose?

Christy didn't think she had ever mentioned Matthew to Todd. At the moment, she didn't have the energy to delve into all that now. She could call Matthew when she got back to the dorm. He would understand.

However, Matthew wasn't in his room when she called him a little after nine that night. She was too tired to stay up with Katie and some of the other girls on the floor who were watching a movie in their suite lounge in the middle of the hallway. It was a comfortable family room-den that was for the women in the upper classes and only open to visitors and guys on designated nights. That meant the girls could hang out there in their PJs most of the time.

Christy slept deeply and woke feeling refreshed, until she remembered Aunt Marti and that she needed to call Matthew to apologize for not meeting him for dinner.

She left Katie sleeping and slipped out of their dorm room. Christy's plan had been to go to the chapel at the edge of the campus for her morning quiet time. On the way, she stopped at the cafeteria, wondering if Matthew might be there for breakfast. Only a few dozen students were in the cafeteria as Christy moved her tray through the line and filled a plastic cup with foaming orange juice from the machine. Matthew Kingsley wasn't one of them. She realized that the only people who would be up at this early hour on a Saturday were probably students who had weekend jobs and were on their way to work.

Christy sat at a small corner table by herself and thought about the way she had felt warmed inside when she had seen Matthew walk into The Java Jungle.

Why did I feel that way? It's not possible that I still have a little bit of a crush on him after all these years, is it? This is college, not elementary school. How can firefly flutterings left over from the playground at George Washington Elementary School have any place in my life now?

Slowly eating her yogurt and muffin, Christy watched the door in case she saw anyone she knew. Todd probably would sleep in. The two of them hadn't made any plans for the morning. He had said last night that he wanted to go over to Riverview Heights in the afternoon and set up the classroom for Sunday. Christy had agreed to go with him. Until then, she had nowhere to go, no one to see, nothing to do. It felt strange. So opposite from the last year.

With a bittersweet sense of loss, Christy remembered all the Saturday mornings in Basel when she had made her early-morning trek to her favorite
Konditorei
for coffee and a fresh pastry. Those mornings were her thinking time.

“Is anyone sitting here?” a girl asked.

“No,” Christy said, moving her tray and feeling grateful for the company.

Before the girl had placed her tray on the table, someone from across the room called to her. She looked relieved and hurried to join her friends without saying anything to Christy. Christy watched as the girl greeted her buddies with a hug, and the group of four girls talked and laughed. They looked like freshmen.

Christy wondered what it would have been like to go away to college her freshman year instead of staying home and taking classes at the community college. She didn't regret the past few years. The extra classes and summer school programs had paid off, and she had plenty of credits. But she hadn't had much of a social life.

An unexpected thought floated into Christy's mind.
What would it be like to go out with Matthew Kingsley?

The thought surprised her.
Why would I think that? I'm with Todd. I love Todd. Why would I want to go out with Matthew?

Christy suspected the thought was linked to her musings about rushing through college, accumulating units instead of dates. Todd had been in Spain when Christy started college, and aside from a bunch of fun dates she had had with Doug during her first semester as a freshman, Christy hadn't gone out with anyone. She and Doug were close buddies, and their friendship had stayed strong even after Doug and Tracy ended up getting married.

When Todd and Christy got back together in January of her freshman year of college, Christy felt certain she and Todd would be together from then on.

But what if my family hadn't moved to California when I was fifteen? What if we had stayed in Wisconsin? Would Matt and I have become a couple?

She knew her imagination was taking her into the land of if only, and she didn't trust what she was feeling. It was thrilling to speculate about dating Matthew, and for the moment those thoughts overpowered her deep, steady love for Todd. She felt dizzy, as if she couldn't trust her own instincts.

Why am I even thinking such things?

Christy pushed herself to her feet and carried her tray to the back of the large cafeteria, where she tossed her silverware in the appropriate bins.

I need to go to the chapel and have my quiet time. That will get my heart back on track.

The walk to the chapel was along a beautiful trail leading to the edge of the mesa. Rancho Corona formerly had been
a working cattle ranch. When the owner donated the land to the college, he had asked that a chapel be built with a stained-glass window depicting the ranch's original insignia. The beautiful glass window, a gold crown with a cross lying in the crown's center at a slant, was above the altar. The Spanish name of the original ranch was “Rancho de la Cruz y la Corona,” which meant “Ranch of the Cross and the Crown.”

Christy entered the small, silent chapel and felt a welcoming hush come over her. She walked softly to the front and sat in one of the pews, where she bowed her head to pray. As she prayed, her mind began to wander.

Why am I having thoughts about Matthew? Is there something between us that would grow if it had the chance to be explored? Would it grow stronger than what Todd and I have between us?

Convinced she wasn't going to get any serious praying done, Christy opened her Bible and readied her pen and journal. She read two chapters and jotted a few notes. Then her gaze rose to the stained-glass window. She noticed how brightly the sunlight poured through the amber gold pieces of glass that made up the crown.

I should talk to Katie about all these confusing feelings. Katie always helps me get my mind out of the fog. Even if I don't always like what she says, she gives me fresh perspective, and that's what I need right now.

Christy left the chapel and took the path that led past the baseball field instead of across the open meadow. As she approached the baseball diamond, she noticed two guys standing on the pitcher's mound. One of them was Matthew.

Christy's heart did a funny little flutter.
This is it. Time to
test my feelings. If there is anything between us to explore, now is the time.

Matthew spotted Christy and jogged over to where she had stopped beside the bleachers. “Hey, I missed—” Matthew began.

“I'm so sorry—”

They both laughed at how their greetings overlapped each other.

“I'm sorry,” Christy said. “I went into town with Todd and Katie, and I didn't get back in time for dinner last night.”

“I thought I was the one who missed you,” Matthew said. “I ended up being about twenty minutes late, and I thought you had given up and left.”

“No, sorry.” Christy took inventory of her feelings. She felt surprisingly calm. The initial burst of fireflies had all flown away.

“Would you be interested in joining us in a little game?” Matthew tossed the softball in the air and grinned at Christy from under his well-worn baseball cap.

The other guy approached, and Christy recognized him as Wes, Sierra's older brother.

“Sierra and her roommate, Vicki, were supposed to meet us here,” Wes said. “Matt thinks they slept in. I think Sierra forgot.”

When Wes called Matthew “Matt,” Christy realized she still thought of him by his full name. He had become “Matthew” in grade school because two Matthews were in their class.

“What do you say?” Matt asked. “We'll even let you bat first.”

“Okay.” Christy was surprised to find herself agreeing to
anything athletic. “I can't guarantee my catching or pitching skills, but I can usually hit the ball if you pitch it nice and slow.”

“Nice and slow,” Matt echoed, returning to the pitcher's mound.

Christy gripped the bat and felt a wonderful, childhood kind of happiness come over her. This felt like a funny little dream come true. She was playing baseball with Matthew Kingsley! In fifth grade this never would have happened because she would have been too shy to enter into such a game.

The first pitch came slow and too low. Christy picked up the ball and heaved it back to the pitcher's mound. It fell about two feet short.

“Did I ever tell you that you throw like a girl, Christy Miller?”

Christy laughed. “I am a girl, Matthew Kingsley, in case you never noticed.”

“Oh, I noticed,” he said.

She couldn't see his face because of the shadow from his baseball cap, but from his stance, he appeared to enjoy the teasing as much as she did.

“Okay, here's my special pitch just for girls who like it nice and slow.” He gave an exaggerated windup with his arm, making big, slow circles in the air.

“Very funny,” Christy called out. “Now see if you can manage to get it over the plate this time!”

Wes moved in from the outfield. “Right here, Christy.” He slugged his fist into his mitt. “Hit it to me. Right here.”

Christy took her position. The bat made contact with the ball, and a delicious thrill coursed through her as she dropped the bat and dashed to first base. Wes caught the
pop fly, tagged her leg, and offered some advice. “Next time put more muscle behind it, and you'll have a nice swing. Use your shoulders and not just your arms.”

Christy didn't care about his advice. She was feeling euphoric over actually
hitting
the ball and playing with the guys.

“Hey!” Sierra's voice sounded at the edge of the field. “What's the big idea starting without us?”

Sierra wore a baseball jersey and had managed to collect her wild, curly blond hair into a ponytail and had looped it through the opening in the back of her baseball cap. She looked as if she was ready for a serious game as she strode onto the field with five other people. Christy was introduced to Vicki, Sierra's roommate, who was a gorgeous brunette with flawless skin. The others, all freshmen and friends of Sierra's, seemed to know Wes, but none of them knew Matt.

After the introductions, a serious game of softball ensued. Several other students joined in, and before the morning was over, Christy had batted four times, hitting the ball three times and striking out once. The rest of the time she spent in the outfield.

Christy smiled through the entire game. She loved everything about this morning: the feel of the warm breeze across her cheeks, the friendly banter among these friends, the way Matt smiled at her. This is what she had missed during her year in Switzerland. The European trains and the scrumptious pastries at the Konditorei had been wonderful. But this—this felt like home.

A little more than halfway through the game, Christy watched Matt on the pitcher's mound, and she inventoried
her feelings again. No firefly flutterings or wishful wonderings rose to the surface.

Who knows why my mind took off for the land of if only at breakfast. Matthew Kingsley is just Matthew Kingsley. He'll always be my first crush—nothing more and nothing less.

The last play of the game, Vicki hit a ground ball. Christy ran to scoop it up and pitched it underhanded to Wes, who tagged Vicki out at second base. With a loud cheer, Christy joined the rest of her team in celebrating the win.