Read Ascending Darkness (Shattering the Darkness) Online
Authors: Jessica Spoon
Ascending
Darkness
Jessica Spoon
Ascending Darkness
Jessica Spoon
Copyright © 2014
ISBN-13: 978-1496084187
ISBN-10:
1496084187
Jessica Spoon All rights reserved worldwide.
First published 2014
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
For permission requests, write to the author, addressed
“Request: Copyright Approval” @
authorjessicaspoon.blogspot.com
DEDICATION
To the readers who have been waiting nearly a year for this book.
Words cannot express how much your support means to me.
I can never explain how truly awful I feel about making you wait.
I love each and every one of you,
And I hope Ascending Darkness is everything you’ve been waiting for.
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PLAYLIST
Here is the playlist in which you should listen to for Ascending Darkness
(Some songs also make appearances in the book). ♫
Runaway by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Love Me Like I'm Not Made of Stone
by Lykke Li
Tonight by Lykke Li
Little Bit by
Lykke Li
The Weight of Us
by Sanders Bohlke
I Don't Believe You
by P!nk
I'm a Lady (feat. Trouble Andrew)
by Santigold
Beating Heart
by Ellie Goulding
Heart of Stone
by Iko
Bravado
by Lorde
Afraid
by The Neighbourhood
Better Now
by The Vespers
Secret Garden
by Bruce Springsteen
The Story (The Voice Performance)
by Sarah Simmons
Love
Without Tragedy / Mother Mary by Rihanna
All of Me
by John Legend
9 Crimes
by Damien Rice
Almost Lover
by A Fine Frenzy
Skinny Love
by Birdy
You
by The Pretty Reckless
Please Don't Go
by Barcelona
Explosions by Ellie
Goulding
No Rest
For The Wicked by Lykke Li
♫
As you walk through the storm,
Hold your head up high,
And don’t be afraid of the dark,
At the end of the storm,
Is a golden
sky,
And the sweet silver song of the lark,
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on,
With hope in your hearts,
And you’ll never walk alone,
You’ll never walk alone.
- Oscar, II Hammerstein
It’s been years since I lived and breathed this way. Years since I had to wonder what would happen next. I’ve been lucky; living the good life and having whatever I wanted. I suppose I couldn’t really have it all; too greedy. It was never about money, though….
It was about being out of this life, having something more.
Living.
I don’t know if Nikko and Breccan know yet what has happened, or if they can even do anything about it. I imagine they will try and I hope they succeed, but how in the hell are they even going to find me? I don’t even know where I am or
how I got here. How can two people that weren’t there do anything about it?
I look around the mostly dark room. The walls are a grayish color which looks to be from stains to the once white walls. The carpet is dark, almost a greenish color. There is a small bed in the corner with a table and a lamp that hardly sheds any light in this room. It smells musty in here, like a cemented basement.
Maybe it is a basement.
I was unconscious when they took me and woke up in this room.
I sigh and sit up on the bed so that I am facing the door. My hands are still tied with nylon rope and my wrists are raw, so it hurts to move them too much.
The door starts to open and I watch.
He walks in with the same grimy smile he always had.
I hate you!
He walks closer to the bed, looks down at me and says, “Hey, babe. You’ve been busy. Looks like it’s time to pay your dues. Pants off. Now.”
I’m disgusting. Nothing but a whore. This is how I make my living. I left one sexually abusive lifestyle, just to enter into another one. There’s Stevie, who I, naïve girl that I was, thought was so kind at first, someone who cared. But he’s nothing but a common pimp; selling us girls to the highest bidder. That piece of shit sees nothing but dollar signs and free pussy when he looks at us.
There’s Daisy, who only wants to appear that she cares. She comes across as the protecting mother, but she has just as much say as the rest of us. She means nothing and she has never- not once- stood up for us.
I’ve got to find a way out of here.
But, I’ve tried all that before. It doesn’t work. Stevie just finds me and I don’t have the means to get very far. Everybody in this town knows who he is, and who his girls are. Maybe it’s time I just resolve myself to this fate.
A death sentence.
You don’t get out of this
life unless you die.
I don’t even know how many men I’ve slept with in the last two years since joining this band of merry leg spreaders. Probably hundreds
, maybe thousands.
Fuck that’s disgusting.
I get sick to my stomach just thinking about the things I’ve allowed to be done to my body. Although, ‘allowed’ wouldn’t always be an accurate description.
I lay back on my single bed,
adorned in red- fake- satin sheets, and stare at the ceiling. My room is small. It looks like what the dorm rooms in a college campus on television look like. I have a bookshelf packed full of murder mystery novels and action movies. A lot of the other girls have all romance shit. Fuck that. I don’t need another reminder that someone else’s life is better than mine. I think I got that memo.
The carpet is green with millions of stains. I have a small TV in the corner with a VCR. I suppose I’m pretty lucky; most of the girls either share a room or have one smaller than this. The walls are covered in a hideous wallpaper from the sixties that has been torn and shredded in most areas. The ceiling is supposed to be white, but it
is stained with smoke and what seems like food.
I let out a deep sigh and roll onto my right side, looking out the window that covers the wall my bed is against. I close my eyes and dream of all the things I wish I could have.
Sometime later I wake up when there is a bang outside my door that startles me. I jump up, walk over to the door and listen. I hear mumbled and slurred cursing out in the hallway.
Stevie…
Home
…
And drunk…
Yay!
Not.
I’m leaning against the door when it is pushed open, shoving me across the room. Stevie comes stumbling in.
“There’s my best girl!” He smiles at me with a big goofy grin.
“Hey Stevie,” I answer as I cross one arm over my stomach and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.
“C’mere, girl. I need you.” He yanks on my arm to bring me closer to him
; the smell of his favorite whiskey burning my nose. “You’re such a good girl. The best investment I ever made.” He pushes his hips into me, probably thinking that I can feel his non-existent erection. “And it’s time to collect on the interest,” he laughs at his ridiculous fucking joke. I roll my eyes.
“Stevie, maybe you need to get some rest?” I always try to put it off, but there’s no hope. When Stevie wants one of us, he takes it.
“Nonsense! C’mon. We’re going to my room.” He pulls me along with him, as I blow out a puff of air, down the hall and into his room. “Naked and on the bed, princess.” I do as I’m told, laying on my back in the middle of the queen size mattress that is covered in black sheets with no blankets to cover over with.
Stevie fumbles out of his clothes and I try to
stifle a laugh. He finally gets out of them and stumbles onto the bed, crawling up my body.
Jesus, is he even going to be able to get it up?
I fucking hope not.
“Mmmm… Harper, you smell so good, princess. I want to taste you.” He begins to lick at my legs working his way up and I cringe deeper into the bed. He makes his way to the juncture at my thighs and moves to my center and nuzzles his face into my heat.
Here’s the thing: you learn to become conditioned to this after so long. So, though I know there is no way I can avoid what will happen (I’ve tried), I try to take my mind away as he begins to lick my opening and give myself over to the sensations in my body.
I know it seems horrible, and it is, but it’s better to let it happen and allow my mind to go blank than it is to fight. I feel myself become wet and I shiver as the disgust with myself rolls through me. He doesn’t spend long, but he flicks his tongue on (what he thinks is) my clit. Stevie’s hands fumble over my body and up to my nipple, pinching it. Another shiver of disgust as I feel the tingles begin to start.
He hovers on top of me murmuring about how hot and sweet I am, how good I taste. He enters me and I want to puke, I’m so revolted
with myself. Stevie has spent so much time in me, he knows which buttons to push so that I stay wet. I rarely come, but I stay wet.
I throw up the walls in my brain to block everything out. During these times, I basically try to sleep with my eyes open, but I’m sure to make all the right noises.
He thrusts hard into me grunting, “Yeah, baby,” and “I know how you like that, my dirty princess.”
Before long Stevie finishes and I get up to get dressed, but he stops me by saying, “No, stay tonight. I’m gonna want to go again.”
My skin crawls and I lay back down. Stevie works his way back on top of me, threads his fingers into my hair and enters his semi erect dick into me again.
“What are you doing?” I ask with wide eyes.
“I’m going to sleep. This way when I wake up I won’t have to wake you,” he mumbles into my chest as he lays his head down on me; his full weight pressing into me.
“You’re fucking disturbed
,” I mumble, hoping he won’t notice.
Stevie’s head snaps up, his fist yanks
painfully on my hair and his eyes flash.
“Watch your
fucking mouth, whore,” he snarls. “If I want to fuck you whether you are asleep or awake, I will. You got that?” He yanks my hair again.
“Yeah. Got it
,” I grit my teeth and bite my tongue.
“Good. Now sleep.”
Yeah, right.
He passes out quickly. I lay there with his limp dick lying dormant inside me. I’m seventeen years old for crying out loud. I should be thinking about school
… and prom… and college.
Instead
… I have my pimp passed out on top of me, and his cock inside me.
My body begins to shake with silent sobs and tears
trickle out of my eyes.
My eyes roll open to stare at my ceiling.
Plain white.
No changes there. Good to know. My head falls to the right and Bane, my blue Great Dane, stares at me. Poor baby knows I’ve been off the past week.
A week since Breccan.
My dreams rarely bother me anymore, though I’m having them during the day now, too. I suppose those would be considered flashbacks.
What-the fuck- ever
.
Let them come.
Nothing compares to the pain I force myself to suffer through when I’m awake or living my life.
Or should I say ‘existing’ through my life. I don’t feel joy anymore.
I never realized how much I truly had…
I had a lot
...
First and foremost there was Nikko. My pseudo-Dad. Nikko Scott is tall at six foot five. He’s got tan skin broad shoulders and he is
built
. He’s all muscle. And he’s a great looking guy with his jet black hair, hazel eyes with thick lashes. Nikko found me when I was nineteen after having my baby cut out of my stomach by my, then, pimp. No pregnancy allowed for Stevie’s girls.
Well, Nikko got me out of there, did something with Stevie- which to this day I’m still not sure about- and helped me get my life in order. It wasn’t an easy task.
I lived wild at first; drinking all the time and going to any party and club I could get in to. I was never really into drugs; I figured if I could make it through living with a pimp and surrounded by drugs for four years without doing any, I wasn’t going to start anytime soon.
Don’t get me wrong, I tried a couple things here and there, but seeing what I saw growing up
and what drugs did to those girls, nothing was going to make that shit stay with me. I was curious, I had money for once in my life and I didn’t know how to deal with what I’d been through, so I sampled some here and there.
Nikko had found me doing some crazy shit, wasting my life away and made me see the error of my ways. I had stayed in Las Vegas where I had been a prostitute, thinking that I was fine since there was no more Stevie. After Nikko pulled my head out of my ass we traveled for a bit and ended up settling in Paradise, California, a semi-small city in northern California. We opened a bar together called
Ricominciare
, which means Begin Again, and started to live the good life.