Ascending Darkness (Shattering the Darkness) (5 page)

I’ve caused everyone so much pain with my decisions. I’m nothing but a selfish bitch who couldn’t see the damage that was happening all around me because of my actions. I decide right then that I’m going to do better and put that old saying to work. ‘Fake it
‘til you make it.’ I know my heart will never be the same after Breccan and there will always be that void, but he does deserve better.

“What would be a great idea?” I hear from behind me and I turn around to see Nikko standing there.

“I’m going to make Harper a collage of photos of you guys for her birthday,” Kara smiles wide at me, then at Nikko.

“That sounds good
,” Nikko smiles at me and I return it making sure to put feeling behind it.

“Well, I’m gonna go finish up some paperwork before heading out. Thanks Kara. I’ll talk to you later.” I give her a hug and turn around to give Nikko one. Once he realizes what I’m doing his arms go tight and I softly whisper to him, “I love you,” with a thick voice and tears in my eyes before scurrying off to the back.

*****

Today is Saturday; the big day. I’ve
done better with my emotions. I hide the ache in my heart all day and let it out at night when I go to bed, instead of letting it weigh me down. I’ve been eating more and working out less so that I’ve put a little weight back on. And everyone seems to be satisfied with my change. I just hope I get to the ‘make it’ part before long because this is so draining and I fear tonight will really do me in.

I just finish drying my hair after my shower when my door buzzer goes off. I walk downstairs and look through the intercom to see Brynn and Avery. I buzz them up telling them I am upstairs, then make my way back to my bathroom.

Before long they both come in carrying a of couple bags. One is a clothing bag and I eye it suspiciously.

“What is that?” There is a bit of warning in my voice.

“We bought you a dress for tonight,” Avery smiles completely ignoring the warning.

“Why?”

“Because it’s your birthday and we want to make sure you match the theme,” Brynn answers.

“There’s a fucking theme to this thing?” I ask incredulously before mumbling, “Jesus Christ.”

“Yep. Suck it up, bitch. Sit down. We’re gonna do your hair and makeup,” Avery orders and I do as they say while muttering about pushy friends that I will have to consider revoking membership cards from.

“Shush. I don’t want to hear it. You’re gonna look fabulous
,” Avery continues to order me around.

About an hour later my hair is done in soft waves down my back and shoulders with
smoky eye makeup on to bring out the green in my eyes.

“Okay, your outfit is on the bed. Get dressed and meet us downstairs. We’ll get dressed down there
,” Brynn orders as they pack up the makeup and put away the hair supplies before they breeze out of the bathroom and my room.

I walk out to my bedroom to see
the most beautiful dress laying on the bed along with white lace underwear and bra. I have a moment of hysteria of them picking out my underwear, but set it aside as I remind myself that they have no sense of boundaries.

I go to my jewelry box and put on large hoop gold earrings and a wide gold band on my left wrist- per Brynn’s instructions. I slip into my undergarments and pick up the dress. It’s a simple white satin
, above the knee sheath dress, with an asymmetric one shoulder neckline. Over the back of the shoulder, a small train hangs off. It’s simple and elegant and I realize how much I miss my high-maintenance wardrobe. Brynn and Avery have paired my dress with a pair of cerulean blue pumps with spikes along the back and heel.

The sight of that color just reminds me of Breccan’s eyes. I slouch down onto the bed as I feel the tears start to build.

Fuck, I miss him so much
.

When does this stop?

Shouldn’t the pain be subsiding?

When I feel a tear escape my eye, I slowly stand up, head to the bathroom and pull myself together. I come back out, put the shoes on (blocking out the color) and head downstairs.

As I step off the last step I am greeted with the site of all that is Brynn and Avery. Brynn is in a gold, skin tight strapless dress that stops several inches above her knees, with gold sandals that strap up her legs. Her blonde hair is all pulled up in a messy twist with several strands falling around her face and neck. Avery is in a white suit with an emerald green shirt and gold tie.

“Wow. You guys look amazing
,” I tell them, gasping with astonishment.

“Thanks, girl. You look fan-fucking-
tastic! I knew that dress would be killer on you!” Avery answers me.

“Yes, you are sure to turn heads
,” Brynn smiles a mischievous smile but she keeps talking before I can ask about the look. “We better get going. Our driver is here.”

“Driver?” I ask.

“Yep we hired a driver. And don’t worry we’ve already got you checked in to a room, so no need to worry about that. I may have gotten carried away and bought you some more clothes and they’re in the room as well so you’re all set,” Avery states.

My eyes go wide. “Jesus, Avery. Don’t I have enough clothes?”

“Of course. But, darling, one can never have too many clothes!” he exclaims. “Now let’s go.”

We head down and get into (oh Jesus Christ)
a limousine. “Really?” I roll my eyes as the door opens and we climb in.

“Yes, really. It’s your special day. You only turn thirty once
,” Brynn snaps at me.

“Okay, okay. Sheesh. Slow your roll, bitch
,” I put my hands up in a placating gesture.

“I’ll slow my roll when you shut the fuck up and just enjoy instead of bitching
,” she snaps sarcastically.

“Shutting up now, your highness
,” I say demurely.

“Would you two shut up? Here,” Avery pours champagne into
flutes and passes me one, “drink up.” He holds his glass up to toast, “To an amazing woman who has been through too much and deserves tonight to relax and find her happy place again.”

“Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

We all clink our glasses together before taking a sip.

“Mmm. Is this Cristal?” I ask.

“Of course. If we’re going with a place as nice as The W, then you can’t toast the night off with cheap shit
,” Avery answers sounding uppity and I let out a small laugh.

“It’s good to see you laugh again, Harper. I’ve missed it
,” Brynn states with a serious expression.

“I know. I’m sorry.” I look down and fiddle with the snap on my gold clutch.

“It’s okay. I think you’ll feel much better after tonight. Getting out is what you need.” She reaches over, grabs my hand and smiles at me. I smile in return, sit back and enjoy my champagne.

I don’t think I will feel better. It seems that nothing can fill this ache in my body. My soul feels void of any life. How can one man suck everything from me in such a short time?

We arrive on the coast around eight thirty, pulling up to The W. A valet opens the car door and we slide out. Avery leads the way to the Whiskey Blue room where two doormen stand with clipboards in their hands.

“Is there a list to get in here?” I ask incredulously and discreetly to Brynn. Christ, I don’t know that many people. This thing can’t be very big.

I hope.

“Yes, we didn’t want anyone hearing about it and sneaking in, trying to splash your picture all over, after… well, you know
,” she whispers to me.

I reach for her hand and squeeze. “Thank you
,” I say quietly and meaningfully.

Avery talks to the doormen and they open the doors for us. We step in and I’m met with so much beauty I can hardly believe it.

The walls are covered in white satin drapery interspersed with strips of blue, gold, and green; perfectly coordinated with our outfits. There are several tables surrounding a dance floor where a D.J. booth is set up; soft music plays quietly from the speakers. The tables are covered in white cloth with the chairs being an assortment of the gold, blue, and green. At the back of the room is a bar with stools around it.

Several people are already seated and the lights are
dimmed to an ambient setting. Waiters wander around refilling drinks.

“Wow. You guys are amazing. So what is the theme?” I ask in complete awe.

“You’ll find out later,” Avery smiles. “C’mon. Let’s go sit.”

They lead me to a large table in the center of the room where Nikko and Kara are already seated.

“Hey guys,” I say as I sit down.

“Hey, baby girl. Happy Birthday.” Nikko leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

“Happy Birthday, Harper,” Kara says. “We’re doing presents at your place tomorrow morning, but I think you will be very pleased with what I did.”

“I’m sure I will be too.” I smile at her.

We all start to chit chat. The staff from the bar are here and come to say hello and join in our conversation. About an hour later dinner is served and it is the most amazing olive-crusted lamb I believe I have ever had.

After dinner we are all sitting and talking, letting our food digest until dessert is served when I feel someone tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Landon, Breccan’s younger brother, standing there.

“Hey gorgeous
,” he says and pulls me out of my chair to give me a hug. “Happy Birthday!” I allow myself to be pulled into his arms, completely stunned as I notice Breccan’s entire family.

I can’t believe they actually came. We have only met the two times, but they treat me as I’ve known them for years. It’s so surreal to me…

I turn my head to the side and see Brynn giving me a wide knowing smile.

“Happy Birthday, Harper!” Peyton, Breccan’s sister, chimes in. Then she pulls me into a hug as soon as Landon releases me.

Breccan’s parents, Harvey and Caroline, come up next. “Happy Birthday, dear,” Caroline says with a sincere look. “We’ve missed you.”

There is a touch of sadness in her eyes and I know that she knows.
My throat chokes up preventing me from responding before Breccan’s father takes my attention.

“Hello, beautiful!” Harvey wraps me in his arms. “Happy Birthday!”

I finally find my voice, cracking through the lump in my throat, “Wow. Thank you all so much. How is everyone?”

I hope they don’t think I’m asking about Breccan. As much as I want to know, I don’t.

“Family is doing well. Caldwell household is running smoothly. Though we could use some more of you around,” Harvey answers, making me smile.

“Well, please sit
,” I offer gesturing to our table with my hand.

Caroline waves me off with a flick of her hand. “No, dear, we have
our own table,” she smiles.

“Are you sure?” I press.

“Yes, absolutely. We’ll be here all night. Plenty of time to catch up.”

Before long dessert is served with a massive four tier cake that is decorated to match the theme; all white with strips of gold, blue and green running down each tier. There are thirty candles covering the thing
, placed strategically on each tier.

I laugh, knowing Brynn’s OCD tendencies had to of played a role in
the sheer perfection of it. Avery starts to sing Happy Birthday to me and everyone begins to join in, making me feel a bit like a child, but bringing a true smile to my face.

After
the cake is demolished we’re all sitting around visiting with each other, when the D.J. steps up to the microphone.

“All right ladies and gentleman! Let’s get this party rolling!”
he says, making the speakers thunder.

There are a few whoops and hollers
and whistling from my friends and I can’t help but laugh and feel like I may just make it out of this pit I have fallen in to.

“Before we get everything going for you lovely ladies to shake what the good Lord gave you, we’ve got a special request in dedication to the Birthday Girl
,” the D.J. says with another chorus of yelling from everyone in attendance.

I am smiling looking at my friends and family
’s jubilant faces, wondering who made a request. They just smile back at me like there is some joke I am missing.

The lights go completely out and after a moment the opening strings of The Pretty Reckless ‘You’ begin. I absentmindedly notice it is an extended version, playing out the intro. A spotlight flashes on the dance floor for a moment before it goes out, but it is all it takes for my heart to come to a
complete and utter stop.

My breath flows out of my lungs in a rush at the one glimpse of my beautiful Adonis
, standing in the middle of the floor looking directly at me. His hair is pulled back at his neck, showing off the chiseled bone structure of his face. His blue eyes shine brightly as they bore into mine. He’s dressed in all black: black suit, black shirt and black tie.