Avoiding Commitment (10 page)

“No one can keep Trina under control
especially if she is trying to make up for Krista’s absence,” Lexi
said leaning back from the bar and glancing up into Spencer’s warm
chocolate-colored orbs staring lovingly down upon her. His dark
blonde hair was buzzed so short it was almost military official
with just enough in the front to spike up. Cheek bones were
prominent against his pale skin; a strong square-set jaw line fit
perfectly with the rest of his features.

“And no one can make up for Krista,” Chasity
said flipping the tops off several beer bottles.

“She’s probably glad to have graduated,”
Trina commented. Lexi narrowed her eyes at her. Trina had been
making similar comments since she had been named captain. “What?”
she asked defensively. “I just mean that now she doesn’t have to
take her piercings out every January.”

The group laughed along at Trina’s joke. Lexi
found she could only produce a forced half-smile. She really did
miss Krista, and her spontaneous vivacious personality that seemed
to light up any room. As soon as she had graduated, Krista had
hightailed it out of town. She had ended up in Las Vegas and was
now performing nightly at some Cirque de Soleil show. The team
wouldn’t be the same without her.

Lexi pulled her phone out of her tiny black
purse to see if anyone else from the team had responded to her mass
text. Sighing, she looked at the blank screen. “Guess everyone else
is busy tonight,” she mumbled under her breath.

Then, her phone vibrated in her hand. Lexi
perked up and wondered who else was coming out. She flipped her
phone open and stared numbly at the name that flashed onto the
screen: Jack Howard.

Lexi quickly glanced backwards at Spencer. He
was occupied by Ashley, a blonde leggy gymnast in her third year.
She had never mentioned anything about Jack to him before. Even if
he had seen the name, it wouldn’t have meant anything to him.
Despite that fact, she angled her body to block his view of the
screen.

She was unsure whether or not she should
click the little green button to view the message. He had contacted
her several times shortly after he had confessed to having a
girlfriend. However, he had ceased his attempts at contacting her
when she didn’t answer a single one. It had been difficult, of
course. She had wanted to reply. After all, she had fallen head
over heels for the boy, but she couldn’t share him.

Just enough alcohol coursed through her veins
that her finger fell on the button opening the message.

“
3 o’clock
.”

Lexi stared down at the cryptic text message,
confusion written across face. Her brow furrowed together as she
tried to decipher the meaning behind his words. The time was 1:30
in the morning. Was she supposed to meet him at 3 o’clock? If so,
where was she supposed to meet him? No, that couldn’t be it. He
would have said more if he wanted her to meet him, some explanation
at least.

3 o’clock.

She stared off into space feeling the alcohol
loosen her muscles and continue to cloud her judgment. Then, as if
woken from a dream, she turned slowly. There he was. Sitting at the
end of the bar, beer in hand, at her 3 o’clock.

He raised his glass to her as if to say
cheers. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He looked
so
good. She had almost forgotten how his shaggy hair fell messily
into his eyes. The natural way he jerked his head to uselessly move
it out of the way...only to have it fall back into his amazing blue
eyes. The way his smile warmed her inside out.

“Want to go back out on the floor?” Spencer
asked breaking her out of her trance. She averted her eyes and
snapped her phone shut.

Lexi shook her head. “I’m going to stay here
and wait until I can stand straight. You can go ahead,” she
offered. She had never lied to him before, and she didn’t
particularly like it. But if Jack was here, she wanted nothing less
than for them to cross paths.

“Alright,” Spencer said a little reluctantly.
“Are you sure?”

“Don’t worry about me. I think Ashley needs
someone to dance with,” she said gesturing towards the tiny blonde
gymnast waiting patiently for them to come to a decision.

He shrugged and went to kiss her on her lips.
She turned at the last second letting it brush her cheek. He
glanced down at her, a glimpse of pain evident in his eyes. A
forced smile moved across her face, but she knew he wasn’t
satisfied with that.

“I’ll check on you in a bit,” he said finally
before making his way back towards the mass of bodies. Lexi leaned
back against Trina’s chair and rested her head on Trina’s shoulder.
She didn’t want to chance a glance back up for fear that Jack would
still be there—or worse—he’d be gone.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep on me,” Trina
said bumping Lexi off her shoulder.

“I’m not. Swear.”

“Well, take my chair. I’m going to go dance.
You better not be asleep when I get back,” Trina said pointing her
finger in Lexi’s face.

“Have no fear. I’m sure Chasity will take
care of everything.”

“I sure hope not with your tolerance,” Trina
called over her shoulder laughing as she walked away.

Lexi watched her friends meander through the
crowd of people. As soon as she lost them in the mass, Lexi turned
her head, and searched for Jack again. There he was, seated in the
exact same spot, waiting for her. Without really realizing what she
was doing, she stood and made her way to him. As she approached,
she fully assessed him. Stubble had grown in across his chin and
jaw line making him appear older. The blue vertical striped
button-up he wore brought out the ice blue of his eyes. He seemed
even more fit than the last time she had seen him, but she couldn’t
be sure under all those clothes. Not that she was thinking of
taking them off…of course.

She smiled slyly trying to keep from letting
her eyes roam his body further. She wasn’t sure how she had
forgotten how attractive he was. His gaze met hers. She felt as if
he was looking straight through her. A blush rushed up her neck and
to her cheeks. She couldn’t decide if the cause was the alcohol or
the way he looked at her like he could just take her right then and
there.

“Lex,” he said extending an arm out for her
to walk into. She did the motion automatically, feeling herself fit
against his body like she was the missing puzzle piece. His cologne
overpowered her senses, and she hastily backed up a few paces
remembering the last time he had been this close to her. Her groin
throbbed at the recollection of his knee resting in that same spot.
Something about that smell…about him just made her hot all
over.

His look of desire hadn’t changed despite her
speedy retreat. She knew that he shouldn’t be looking at her like
that. She definitely shouldn’t be having this type of reaction in a
very crowded,
public
place with her boyfriend only a hundred
feet away. Anyone could walk over and see them together. It’s not
like anyone could mistake the looks that were cast between
them.

“Um…how are you?” she asked awkwardly
averting her eyes attempting to break his spell.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Single.”

Her body tensed at the statement. That hadn’t
been her question, but for some reason it was the answer she had
wanted, the real question she had been anxious to find out about.
“Oh yeah?” she asked trying to remain cool and not let her heart
beat speed up any further at the prospect of him being single. “How
did that happen?”

“As a birthday present to myself.”

She scoffed, her eyes bulging. “Are you
serious?”

He smiled brightly. “One hundred
percent.”

“That’s a story I’d like to hear.”

“I’d like to tell it to you,” he said
standing up and closing the distance between them. Her breath
caught in her throat. “Come be with me tonight.”

He issued it as a command not a request. And
God, did she want to be with him that night. Her mind slowly
started to catch up with her wanton body, and she began to shake
her head wishing his request had come some six or seven months
earlier. “No, I can’t.”

Stepping just a few inches closer, he pressed
his hips against her. She sucked in a good deal of air. His fingers
found her palms and gently stroked upwards. When he reached her
shoulder, he redirected his movement downward slowly but
deliberately grabbing her hips and pressing himself against
her.

“Jack,” she moaned, glancing back up into his
baby blues. Involuntarily, her eyes moved to his lips and back
up.

“Come be with me,” he repeated himself.

She reached her hands up and pushed lightly
against his chest, giving herself a few inches of space. He didn’t
pull his hands away from where they rested on her hips. “I said
that I can’t,” the words came out feebler than before.

“I heard you,” he said licking his lips.

“I should um…probably get going
actually.”

“Mmm hmm.” But still she didn’t move away
from him. She felt his thumb make a small circle on her exposed
hipbone. Just as his finger met the hemline of her skirt, she
backed up roughly running into a large woman seated at the bar.

“Sorry,” she said skirting around the woman
and entering open space to the right. Her eyes shifted back to
Jack. “I haven’t heard from you in a long time.”

He shrugged. “I was letting your cold
shoulder thaw.” Her head jerked to the side and she puffed out
angrily. All of a sudden, she felt his cool fingertips graze her
neck. They moved to her chin and gently forced her to look back in
his face. “I’ve missed you, Lex.”

She seriously thought that her heart stopped
in that instance. “Jack, this isn’t fair.”

“I don’t want it to be fair,” he said not
letting her chin go, but taking another step towards her, invading
her personal space.

The words kept filtering through her
consciousness. She knew she should probably tell him. She should
say it right now. There was no way she wanted to do the same thing
that he had done to her. She had a boyfriend for Christ’s sake. A
real boyfriend. Someone she had been dating for close to seven
months. Things were so good. She should really tell him right
there. “Well, you’ve accomplished that,” she said, ignoring her
conscience.

He snaked his other hand up and threaded his
fingers through her hair. “I saw that guy,” he said trying to make
it easier on her.

She knew she should tell him right there. She
gulped. “Yeah?” She was having trouble thinking with his hand
running through her hair.

“What’s his deal?”

“I thought you didn’t want things to be
fair,” she said smarting off to him.

He smirked arching an eyebrow as if to say
fine play it that way
.

She had no idea what she was doing. There was
no way that this would end well. Her friends could return at any
moment. If they walked over and saw her close to sexing it up with
some apparent stranger, she had no idea what she would do. She had
no idea what Spencer would think or do, and she didn’t want to find
out.

“Then you won’t mind if I do this,” he said
his head dipping down to plant a kiss on her lips.

She froze watching his descent as if in slow
motion. Her eyes started to flutter close and she could almost
taste him just as her mind finally kicked in. “I don’t want to lie
to you, Jack,” she murmured feeling his breath hot on her
mouth.

“Well seeing as you’ve said next to nothing,
doesn’t seem like you’re lying to me,” he said suspended before her
waiting for her to continue.

“We both know that
not
saying
something can be just as much of a lie,” she reminded him.

“Well, what aren’t you saying?” he asked
backing up just enough to look deeply into her dark brown eyes.

“That guy is my boyfriend.”

He didn’t back away. In fact, he didn’t move
at all. His hand had stilled on the back of her head; the other had
moved affectionately to the soft spot under her jaw line. He just
stared at her with those ice blue eyes. After that brief pause, his
hand started working through her hair again almost like he hadn’t
even heard what she had said.

“Jack…did you…”

“Yes.”

“Then why…”

“Because I want to, and I’ve wanted to for
too damn long.”

She loved his forcefulness even though she
knew she shouldn’t. He should have backed away by now, apologized
for interfering with her relationship, and then immediately left
her if not the premises. But he didn’t.

Sighing heavily, she spoke again, “It’s not
that simple.” She reluctantly took a step backwards. Gently, she
extracted his hand from her hair, and moved it back to his side.
His other hand followed.

“You’re the one making it complicated.”

“Me?!” she exclaimed. “You’re the one doing
that
.”

“Doing what?”

“I don’t know. Just
that
. That thing
you do.”

“Oh, how original. Doing that thing you do?”
he asked mocking her.

“You know what I mean.”

“I have a feeling that I don’t.”

“Oh Jack,” she groaned crossing her arms over
her chest. “We can’t do this again.”

“I’m not sure what
this
is, but it
feels very different then whatever was last time.”

“It’s different, because I know the truth,”
she said bitterly.

“I promised I’d never lie to you again, and I
meant it,” he said trying to bridge the distance she had put
between them.

As if they were in some synchronized dance,
she moved with him. When he stepped forward, she stepped back not
giving him any room to touch her again. If he touched her, she
would be lost. “You can’t just say that. How can I believe
you?”

“I hardly expect you to.” She narrowed her
eyes waiting for the catch. “But I plan to make it up to you.”