Avoiding Commitment (24 page)

She turned the corner and found Clark already
in the middle of whipping up a fresh batch. Smiling brightly as she
entered the room, she walked up to him and grasped him around the
middle.

“Good morning to you too,” he said leaning
down and giving her a kiss. “You look fresh this morning.”

She blushed. “Thank you, dear.”

“Go have a seat, and I’ll get you some
pancakes. Orange juice, yes?”

“Uh...yeah. Sounds great,” she said turning
away from him. Her gaze rested on the breakfast bar where a certain
someone was seated looking smug.

“Mornin’,” Jack said tilting his head at her
as a welcome. She watched as he poured an exorbitant amount of
maple syrup on his pancakes.

“Good morning to you,” she said cheerfully,
taking the seat next to him and glancing back up at Clark. After
pouring several pancakes onto the griddle, he turned around and was
staring at her intently.

“Sleep well?” Jack asked between mouthfuls of
the oozing goodness.

Lexi leaned back in the chair and prayed she
didn’t blush. “Sure,” she said unable to keep a mischievous smile
from creeping onto her face. “You?”

“Nah. Slept like shit. That couch is full of
lumps. Feels more like sand,” he told her forcing down another
bite, but still not looking up at her.

Clark looked between the two, and seemed
genuinely pleased that they were having normal conversation. Every
other time they were in a room together, Lexi was fleeing the
premises or they were locked in a tight, spitfire conversation for
several minutes then Jack would storm off. It wasn’t pretty.

“Man, that’s because it probably is full of
sand. Think about how many times people sit on that couch after
coming in from the beach,” Clark said shaking his head.

A brief, knowing look passed between Jack and
Lexi. She tried to hide her delight at Jack’s playful comments. It
felt nice being able to discuss their night together without
anyone…even Clark knowing what they were talking about. To anyone
else, all the comments Jack made would seem completely neutral. It
was exhilarating.

“You’re probably right,” Jack agreed scraping
the last remnants of his breakfast from his plate. “I probably
should have thought about that before I let it keep me up all
night.”

Lexi accepted the plate of pancakes and
orange juice from Clark, and tried not to look anymore impish than
usual. As she began to dig into her plate, Kate walked in.

While they had been up all night, they had
confided in each other about their relationships— the ups and downs
about being with their significant others. At first, Lexi had found
it strange to discuss these things with someone who had been
feverishly kissing her only minutes before, but after they started
talking neither could seem to stop. It was refreshing to be able to
speak with someone so openly about her relationship, knowing that
they didn’t mind…actually reveled in the bad qualities
mentioned.

Lexi had found out that Jack and Kate met
through a mutual friend of theirs. She was pretty much everything
you expected out of a cheerleader prom queen type: average height
with stick straight, naturally blonde hair to her shoulders, large
baby blue eyes, and a toned build with a killer tan. She wore her
emotions on her sleeve, and her bubbly personality only intensified
that aspect of her character. The silver spoon she had been fed on
since birth made her have a predisposition for expensive name brand
clothing, acrylic French manicures, fake and bake tanning, and
ultra bright highlights. The only things keeping her from being a
snotty brat was the fact that her parents were extremely religious.
At least in that respect, she had been humbled from her high horse.
The faith had remained with her all through college. No matter what
had gone on Saturday night, Kate could be found every Sunday
morning sitting in a pew…confessing her sins.

Despite the fact that Jack wasn’t on a sports
team for the school like her three previous boyfriends, his natural
charm won her over. She liked his music and adventurous nature even
though she wasn’t a big fan of the big wide open outdoors herself.
She had been hooked after the first date. He had taken to her to
the nicest restaurant in town for a candle lit dinner with wine
pairings, roses, and everything. The whole shebang. Afterwards,
they traversed a moonlit path around the campus gardens. When he
had described it to Lexi, she couldn’t help thinking that it was
far removed from a simple carnival ride.

They had started talking after Lexi stopped
returning his calls, and had been dating for over a year and a half
now. Apparently Jack lived by the rules: the best way to forget the
last is to move onto the next.

Kate sidled up to Jack in her bright yellow
bikini and broad-rimmed floppy sun hat. Lexi watched as she kissed
him, and then hooked her leg up onto his lap and swung herself up
on top of him.

“Are you ready to go to the beach yet?” she
asked wide-eyed.

“Just about,” he said circling his arms
around her waist and leaning his head against her shoulder. “I
could use about five more hours of sleep. You interested?”

“You didn’t sleep?” she asked.

“He slept on sand all night,” Lexi said
taking a long sip of orange juice.

Kate jumped as if just realizing that they
weren’t alone. “You were on the beach?”

Jack flicked his gaze over towards Lexi in
warning. Lexi just continued eating. She knew that she wasn’t that
great of a liar. She couldn’t word things like Jack could. He could
manipulate his language so that no one would be able to tell
anything was different.

“No, I was telling Lex and Clark that the den
couch feels like it’s full of sand.”

“Oh, gross. You know that I’d come and share
with you to make it more enjoyable, but I just cannot sleep on a
couch,” she said flicking her hair over shoulder. Every time she
moved it just bounced back in front. “You need to go change so we
can get our asses on the beach,” she said sliding off of his lap
and tugging him out of the kitchen.

Lexi skimmed her eyes across the departing
couple. Her stomach twisted at the sight of Jack’s arm hanging
loosely around Kate’s waist…well a little lower than her waist. She
wanted things to work out so that she would be able to be around
Jack more often, but so far she wasn’t all that certain they could
stay like this. She couldn’t change the way she felt about him.

“You two seemed to be getting along better,”
Clark said flipping a pancake over.

Lexi shrugged. “I guess,” she said
nonchalantly. “I’m going to go change for the beach. Thanks for
breakfast.” She hopped off her chair, kissed him on the cheek, and
then rushed out of the room before she could give herself away.

*****

The next few days passed in a similar
fashion. The group would spend a fun filled day at the beach
hanging out in the ocean, playing volleyball and Frisbee, and a
whole hell of a lot of sun bathing. Each night after everyone
passed out from physical exhaustion, Lexi would crawl out of bed
and into the den. She would shake Jack from his slumber if need be,
and they would slink down to the beach to spend the remaining hours
until daybreak together. The next morning, they would wake up at
the crack of dawn eager to be in each other’s presence. She had
resorted to afternoon naps on the beach to keep herself going
during the day. Clark couldn’t figure out why she was so tired all
the time, but she continually blamed it on the sheer amount of
alcohol she had consumed coupled with the sun’s heated rays.

Lexi was lying back enjoying one of those
afternoon cat naps when she was jostled awake. She grumbled as her
ear buds fell out of place and drifting ocean noises took over for
the tunes that had been playing from her iPod.

“Wake up, sleepy head,” Clark murmured as he
sat down on the towel next to her.

She swiped at her eyes and pushed herself up
against her elbows. “How long have I been out?” she asked
sheepishly.

“A couple hours.”

“Where did everyone go?” she asked noticing
that at least a few rather pertinent individuals were missing from
the group.

“Probably doing to each other what I want to
do to you right now,” he muttered huskily, his voice dipping
low.

Lexi gulped. She tried to clear her mind of
all thoughts of Jack. She did not want to think about him right now
when her boyfriend was suggesting rather appealing options.
However, she couldn’t help herself. All she could think about was
whether or not Jack was with Kate, and what they could be doing up
at the beach house almost completely alone.

“You want to go join them up there? I’m sure
we can find an empty room in that mansion of a place,” he said
winking slyly at her.

She giggled half-heartedly, her smile not
fully reaching her eyes. “Maybe.”

Clark moved closer and rested his head in her
lap. She wound her fingers through his thick, curly, black hair. He
had let it grow longer for the beach, and she enjoyed the feel of
it, knowing it would all be gone before graduation. “I bet I can
convince Hunter to take the couch tonight if you want to sleep with
me,” he offered. “You’re not getting enough sleep.”

In that moment, she was glad he couldn’t see
her face. Guilt creased her features. The last thing she wanted to
do was give up one of her last precious nights with Jack. She
didn’t care how tired she was. They would never have an opportunity
like this again, and she was planning on savoring every platonic
second of it. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about me. I think I’m
just adjusting to the bed finally,” she volunteered the information
off hand.

“I was thinking I could give you some more
incentive,” he said sitting up and pulling her face into his hands.
His mouth covered hers quickly and deliberately. Only earlier that
week she had reveled in every kiss. Now that she had tasted Jack
again, if only briefly, the movement felt robotic and
dispassionate. She felt no express desire for him in that moment
and that knowledge worried her.

She smiled against his lips and pulled back.
“I think I’m going to pass. You heard Seth. Thin walls and all. I’d
rather not have everyone hearing us, and then talking about
it.”

His eyes shifted focus. “Since when are you
concerned with other people hearing and being self-conscious?”

“I’m not self-conscious,” she muttered
tripping over her own lies. “I just...don’t want everyone to
hear.”

“You don’t want Jack to hear?” he asked
pointedly.

“I don’t see how that has anything to do with
it,” she stated her voicing coming out faulty.

“Look, Lexi, I know you said you took my
words to heart, and that ya’ll are going to be better. But I just
have a really bad feeling about all of this,” he told her
honestly.

She immediately went on the defensive. “What
are you saying, Clark? Do you think that I’d do something?”

“No, I didn’t say that.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“Baby, I trust you.” He took her hands in his
and looked into her big brown eyes. “I just don’t trust him. I
don’t think, if he were given the chance, that he’d be able to stay
away from you.”

“And what, I’m just going to sit by and let
this happen?” she asked letting her guilt-ridden anger get the best
of her. She had done just that so many times before.

“I’m not saying that either. Stop putting
words in my mouth. I’m not trying to start a fight with you,” Clark
said calmly. “I just have a bad feeling. I was hoping you would
reassure me that my feelings are just misguided judgments of a
jealous demented boyfriend,” he said looking up at her
pleadingly.

“I agree with you, at least, about Jack. I’m
not sure if he’s ever been faithful with anyone he’s been with. But
that’s the reason that you shouldn’t be concerned,” she said
feeling the lie start to form on her tongue. “Why would I let him
get to me knowing that?” She really wanted the answer to that
question.

He just shook his head. “I dunno, Lexi, but I
hope you’re right.”

“You know me better than that,” she said
snuggling closer to him.

“You’re right. I do. I love you, Lexi.”

She gulped. “I love you too.”

All throughout dinner Lexi remained withdrawn
from the group. Her conversation with Clark echoed in her ears. She
couldn’t help wondering if she should tell Clark that Jack had
kissed her. But if she did that, then she would have to tell him
about going out on the beach with Jack. She would have to explain
why she had continued to meet him on the beach after that first
night, and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to do that.

Sure, they had said they were going to just
be friends, but she wasn’t an idiot. They wouldn’t be sneaking off
together every night if they were just friends. After everything
that had happened between them, Lexi was pretty certain that they
could never just be friends.

“You
sure
you don’t want to join me?
I’m sure you would sleep better in my arms,” Clark persuaded
hugging her tightly around the middle outside of her bedroom.

“Rain check. I’m really beat,” she said
nuzzling into his arm. She was really tired. That was the true part
of the statement. The only problem was she wouldn’t be sleeping
again for several hours.

“Alright. If you change your mind, you know
where I am,” he said clearly disappointed.

He kissed her once more and then trotted up
the stairs. Lexi breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn’t pushed
her further on the subject. She quickly ambled into her room. This
was the worst part about the night. Waiting. For Sandy to either
sneak out of the room to visit Seth or pass out. Waiting. For the
sounds of Clark and the guys quieting down and subsiding to
slumber. Waiting. For the coast to clear.