Avoiding Commitment (19 page)

Clark hadn’t been offended by her lack of
exuberance, but he had continued to pursue her promising her a
casual evening out. Lexi had never thought about Clark in a
romantic sense. She had always been clouded by her blind desire for
Jack. Even as she accepted his invitation, she hadn’t realized
quite how handsome he was.

Their first date was nothing out of the
ordinary. He had taken her to a dinner, not too expensive, but
still nice. Afterwards, he took her to a local ice cream shop for
dessert. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had that much
fun. Clark was easy going, yet attentive to her. He seemed to
genuinely care what she was talking about, and what she was
interested in. Something about him that night remained permanently
etched into her memory. Clark just got her. They just clicked. It
was strange, even then, for Lexi to feel like Clark understood
something about her that, perhaps, even she didn’t.

But she couldn’t help seeing Jack in him that
night. When she looked at Clark, she could remember another time
when things had been this easy. Feeling uncomfortable at the
prospect of being physical with Clark after having those improper
thoughts, she left him with only a simple good night kiss. But
after that night, Lexi couldn’t deny that there was something about
Clark she liked.

He kept calling and eventually, without even
realizing it, they were a couple.

A few rather uncomfortable situations had
occurred, in which, she was forced into civil environments with
Jack. She usually extracted herself as quickly as possible, making
whatever excuse came to mind. Recently, it had happened less
frequently, and it thankfully made things easier between her and
Clark.

Lexi’s mind had returned to Jack when Clark
had invited her on this trip. She hadn’t even meant to ask about
him. But somehow it had slipped out, and she had asked Clark the
one pressing question she needed to base her decision on: Is Jack
going to be there? She could handle hanging out with a bunch of
people who knew that her and Jack had had…something at one point in
time. But actually having him at the beach house for a whole week
looking damn sexy would just kill her. She couldn’t do it.

She had been able to hear the disappointment
in Clark’s voice over the phone. They had been dating for nearly
nine months, and she still had to ask about Jack. Sighing
uncomfortably, he had told her that he wasn’t positive, but last he
had heard from Seth, Jack would be out of town for his cousin’s
graduation ceremony in Savannah. That was all the confirmation she
needed, and she had happily agreed to accompany them to the beach.
Her tan was waning anyway.

Lexi popped open the door to the Lexus SUV as
soon as Seth placed it in park and gingerly stretched out her
aching muscles. She breathed in the cool beach air with a smile.
Her head swiveled up to the massive beach house Seth’s parents
called home. The entire place looked modern and chic from the
outside. She couldn’t wait to see how the interior matched, but all
she really cared about at that moment was the beach. She just
wanted to sink her feet into the pure white sand and stare out
across the Gulf of Mexico.

Clark came around from the other side of the
car and kissed her cheek. Taking one last look at her, he said, “Go
on.” He nudged her towards a pathway leading directly to the beach.
“I’ll grab your bag.”

Without a backwards glance, she rushed the
gate blocking her way. Yanking it open, she dashed down the stone
stairs, and around the corner. Her breath caught at the sight of
the ocean looming ahead of her. Chucking her flip-flops to the side
as she reached the threshold, she edged into the sand feeling the
heated temperatures against her skin. Then she took off with a
burst of energy, loving the overpowering feeling of release at the
thought of being here, in this beautiful place, for an entire
week.

Just before she reached the sand soaked
through from the salty ocean water, she stopped dead in her tracks
and stared dumbfounded in front of her. Maybe she was dreaming. Had
she fallen asleep while she was in the car? Would she remember that
she had been in the car if she was dreaming? Would
he
be
here if she was dreaming? She didn’t really have to answer that
question. He had always been in her dreams, but the real question
was whether or not she was dreaming about him right now. Suddenly
terrified, she wondered if Clark would hear her say his name. Then
realizing she couldn’t be dreaming or else she wouldn’t be thinking
about this, she would be doing…other things. Her mouth opened as he
turned towards her.

Had she said his name out loud? She didn’t
remember.

“Lex?” he asked obviously just as startled as
she was. “What…? How…? I…uh…”

“Are you real?” she blurted without
thinking.

A characteristic smirk appeared on his face,
and she knew. He was real. Even her dreams didn’t make him look
this gorgeous. Every feature was vividly defined in the afternoon
rays pouring over his body, and into his intensely blue orbs.

He took a step forward clearing the gap she
had left between them. It had been a safe distance. Now, he was so
close their bodies were nearly touching. Her breath caught as she
raised her head to meet his intense stare. God, he looked amazing.
Her foggy image of his perfect features faded so quickly when he
was out of sight. Everything felt right as she stood in his
presence, only inches separating them. He reached out placing one
hand on her cheek, checking to see if she was, in fact, real.
Lexi’s heart raced at the gentle touch, her mind returning to a
brilliant clarity.

Jack was here.

They both seemed to be in a trance as their
looks never wavered. She felt his thumb stroke her cheek lovingly,
but she couldn’t break away from him. She couldn’t remember the
last time he had touched her…on purpose. Then, the image of her
lying naked on his bed filled her mind, and she blushed deeply. He
seemed amused by this and stepped closer to her. They both sank an
inch or so into the sand as he shifted causing her to reach out and
grab his chest to steady herself. His smirk returned when she
didn’t pull her hand away from his incredible build.

This couldn’t be happening to her. There was
no way that Jack would be here. Everyone had confirmed that he was
supposed to be in Savannah…far, far away from the beach house. So
she let her thoughts return to the possibility that she was
dreaming. He was only a few inches from her succulent lips. It
would be so easy to close the space. Though she had never
envisioned being with Jack intimately on a beach before, she didn’t
put it past her imagination. And her imagination could be very
ingenious when it wanted to be.

Something was off about her dream though. At
this point in the dream, Lexi was sure Jack would have practically
read her thoughts, and would now be bending down to kiss her.
That’s how it normally happened. She blushed deeper hoping that her
Dream Jack would kiss her already, then colored even further as the
time progressed and he didn’t.

No, she had been right the first time.

He was not a dream.

“Jaaaaaack,” Lexi heard someone yell
impatiently from the direction of the house.

Broken out of the spell, he quickly dropped
his hand to his side and took a fraction of a step away from Lexi.
Her heart thudded in her chest at the absence of his touch…his
warmth. She suddenly felt very alone.

“Jack! What are you doing? Who is that?”
another whiny cry broke through the serene expanse.

Jack glanced up to the house and did a slight
almost dismissive wave, not even bothering to respond in turn. Lexi
did
not
want to turn around. She knew that Jack had a new
girlfriend, her stomach twisted uncomfortably at the prospect, but
she had avoided her at all costs.

“I guess I better get up there. Everyone’s
starting to stare,” Jack said returning to her confused brown
eyes.

That broke her out of her dream-like state,
and she twisted to find a beautiful blonde leaning over an enormous
wooden deck. Slowly, taking in the entire sight, she picked out
Clark openly glaring at the spectacle before him. She didn’t think
her cheeks could redden any deeper than at that moment. After
everything Clark knew about her and Jack, this had to appear to be
a very compromising situation.

She turned back to Jack, anger flaring up
inside. “Why are you here?” she demanded. He sighed contentedly. He
had always found her sexy when she got riled up. “Aren’t you
supposed to be at your cousin’s graduation ceremony? Why aren’t you
in Savannah?”

“It was a cousin on my dad’s side. They are
too crazy redneck for me. And anyway, I really did not want to deal
with the boo-hoo-your-parents-are-divorced speeches for an entire
week like they’ve been doing for the past couple years,” he stated
calmly, fixing her with a pointed look. “And anyway, Seth and I
grew up together. His parents moved here when his sister went to
college last year, and they’re practically family. Actually,” he
considered for a second, “they are more like family now.”

Lexi knew the details of his parents’ divorce
and cringed at the harsh words. He had spoken about his parents’
divorce before, but generally steered clear of the subject. He
hated the fact that they were separated, and just got pissed off
when it was brought it up.

“So, why are you here?” he asked angrily.

“What do you mean why am I here?”

“You’re fucking Clark. Right. I forgot,” he
said his voice ice cold.

“Fuck you,” she spat angrily.

He nodded his head. “Right. Sorry, I like
threesomes with two chicks, but if you’re interested?” he asked
raising his eyebrows evocatively.

“Jaaaaaack,” the girl yelled again, “are you
coming back up?”

“Well, that’s me. You should consider my
offer,” he added playfully. “Gotta go. It’s good to see you, Lex.”
He purposefully brushed her hand as he passed by.

She was seething with anger. Clark had said
he wouldn’t be here. She couldn’t even think straight. Why did he
have to go shatter the image she had of him in her head? Why did he
have to bring is girlfriend? She just wanted to scream with the
pain of unanswered questions.

“Oh, hey, Lex,” Jack called when he was about
ten feet away from her. She counted to five letting her breathing
calm, and turned around to meet him. She huffed out her breath
trying not to let her eyes veer from his face to his beautiful
body. “Nice shirt.” He let his eyes travel to her chest, and then
winked at her.

She blushed again. What had she gotten
herself into?

As Jack plodded through the thick sand ahead
of her, she felt eyes boring into her. She didn’t want to look up
and see the disappointment certain to be evident in Clark’s face.
No wonder she had demanded that Jack not be present if she planned
on attending. She saw him for all of ten seconds, and completely
lost control of herself. He sent a rollercoaster of emotions
rocketing through her veins. One second she had been elated, ready
to jump into his awaiting arms. The next they had been bickering
like an old married couple.

God, she hated so much that he got to her.
She really would have just given herself over to him right there on
the beach as if she was dreaming about him. She groaned feeling
stupid for her thoughtless actions.

She ran her hands through her brown curls,
and let them fall haphazardly around her face. Nothing near
perfection, but it would do in her frenzied state.

When she finally worked up the courage, she
tilted her chin up to the hardwood deck, and found Clark all alone
still staring at her intently. He motioned for her to come inside,
and then without a word, turned and walked inside.

Time seemed to drag as she waited for an
opportunity to speak to Clark about what had happened. Seth hadn’t
been joking about the room arrangements. As soon as she had
returned from the beach, she had been stuffed in a room with one of
Seth’s bimbos. Lexi had completely tuned her out, and instead, let
her mind flood with concerns as she dutifully unpacked.

When Lexi was finally alone with Clark, she
hissed, “What is he doing here?”

“I don’t know,” Clark said staring icily back
at her. “What does it even matter?”

Lexi had no idea how to answer that question.
How could she tell him that she couldn’t control herself around
him? That she purposefully avoided him, because of the things he
unconsciously did to her body. Those weren’t things you could tell
your boyfriend. “It just…does. You said he wouldn’t be here.”

“I said that Seth didn’t think he’d be here.
I guess he just changed his mind. That’s typical Jack.” His green
eyes seemed to see straight through her words. Clark had always
been intuitive when it came to her. “Are you going to explain your
actions on the beach?”

Why did he have to ask such a difficult
question? She had never been able to explain her actions to
herself. How did he expect her to explain her compulsion to
him?

“I don’t know what you mean,” she finally
mumbled.

His eyes narrowed. He didn’t believe her. She
could tell. “You’re not going to tell me why it looked like you two
were about to kiss?”

Lexi’s mouth popped open. “We were not! I
can’t believe you would even think that,” she huffed, hating that
he had hit so close to home. Why did he understand her so well?
Nine months wasn’t
that
long.

“I thought you said things were over between
you two.”

“They are,” she grumbled miserably.

“Then why can’t you be around each other? Why
did it look so much like you were…in love?” he asked struggling on
the last words.

She gulped heavily. “We just have history.
You know that,” she said avoiding his last question completely.