Avoiding Commitment (18 page)

“Not that he would,” Lexi said under her
breath.

If Lexi had thought the last look she had
received from Bekah was uncomfortable, it had nothing on the look
she was giving her after that comment. “Excuse me?”

Should she tell her? Yes. She had come down
to Atlanta to talk to this girl, she might as well start from the
beginning and with the truth for once. Slowly, pulling back the
first layer of their relationship, Lexi began, “You asked how we
first met. We met at a coffee shop, similar to this one actually,
where he worked for some time in college. We were together
constantly for more than a month before I found out he had a
girlfriend. And Danielle
never
found out about me,” Lexi
said bluntly. Bekah’s jaw dropped slightly. Whatever she had been
expecting, that wasn’t it. Not even close. “So when you say that
you had never heard about me, I wouldn’t take it for granted that
was because we hadn’t spoken.”

Lexi hated admitting all of that stuff, but
the girl had asked for the truth. She might as well be frank with
her. Jack had always been best at lying. Some people were good at
sports. Some people were good at school. Some people were good at
working. While some people were good at commitment, Jack was good
at
avoiding
commitment.

“So, you’re saying that ya’ll have spoken
or...done more than speak since we’ve been together?” Bekah asked,
getting choked up at the thought.

“Uh...no,” Lexi said awkwardly. She hadn’t
meant to imply that. “I haven’t spoken with Jack since he left New
York almost two years ago. Well, up until he called me about
you.”

“What kind of point
were
you making?”
Bekah asked getting riled up.

Lexi pushed her hair behind her ears before
continuing. “I wasn’t making a point about
your
relationship. You wanted to know about the type of relationship I
had with Jack. So, I was telling you. It was one full of lies.”

“Lies?” Bekah’s blue eyes were glimmering
with wonder. Lexi was pretty certain that her interviews with
Danielle and Kate had been exceedingly dull compared to the dirt
Lexi was sending her way. Then again, Danielle and Kate had had
perfectly normal...ish...relationships with Jack. They had flirted,
dated, and broken up like normal couples. They had had normal
emotional responses to situations, and had gone through relatively
normal cycles of development. Nothing about Jack and Lexi had ever
been
normal
.

“He lied to me about Danielle. Then, swore he
would never lie to me again. And to this day, I don’t think he
has,” Lexi said wistfully.

“But I thought you said your relationship was
full of lies.”

This time Lexi did look Bekah directly into
her naively, innocent eyes to answer her, “It was. We just lied to
everyone else.”

Lexi was pretty sure that after that last
statement, she would never meet the personable Bekah again. The two
stared stonily at each other for a few moments before breaking eye
contact and uneasily sipping on their beverages.

Finally, Bekah broke the silence. “So, what
happened next?”

“Uh…when?” Lexi asked surprised that the girl
was even still talking to her. She certainly wouldn’t be happy with
someone if she had just heard that.

“After he lied to you about Danielle.”

“I refused to talk to him again for
awhile…almost a year. But after he broke up with Danielle, he came
looking for me, hoping that I would forgive him. And I didn’t at
first.”

Bekah nodded. “He’d lied to you. That must
have been hard. He’s never done that to me.”

Lexi blushed not really wanting to correct
her. She had been in town less than a day and already Jack had lied
to Bekah because of her. Wow, things weren’t that different. “It’s
just this time around I had a boyfriend. When I told Jack about
him, he didn’t care. He pretty much persuaded me to come to his
house and seduced me.” Lexi heard the faint gasp that escaped
Bekah’s mouth, but she continued on. “I broke up with my boyfriend
shortly after that. Mostly out of guilt.”

“But you said you and Jack weren’t together?”
Bekah asked her stony gaze still not wavering. Lexi could tell she
was getting more and more reserved and withdrawn. She wasn’t sure
how much she should actually reveal, and Bekah looked to be having
the same idea.

“No. We weren’t. I just couldn’t talk to him
after that. I had really strong feelings for Jack, and they scared
me. Made me do things that I normally wouldn’t. Made me act in ways
that I…I couldn’t control.” Lexi glanced up at Bekah to see her
nodding along.

“I know what you mean,” Bekah whispered.

Lexi hardly believed her. Bekah was another
Danielle…another Kate. Everything they had was normal and expected.
There was no way that she could have even a semblance of
understanding as to what she had gone through. “The lying really
got to me. I was terrible at it. Jack wasn’t.” Lexi knew she was
reminding her about the lying just to be cruel. She wanted Bekah to
ask Jack questions about it. She wanted to make her uncomfortable.
She just couldn’t stand the idea of sharing a feeling with this
girl. It felt wrong. “He didn’t understand why I wasn’t okay with
lying to my boyfriend, when he thought we were so perfect for each
other. When he thought that there would never be another girl as
amazing as me,” Lexi added spitefully.

Bekah’s blue eyes met Lexi’s, and the
understanding that had been there only seconds before was replaced
by the deep loathing Lexi had seen the last time lying had been
brought up.

“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite girls,”
Jack said coming up to them seemingly out of nowhere. It was
obvious in his absence that things hadn’t gone well. The tension in
the atmosphere could be cut with a dull butter knife. Bekah looked
pissed and Lexi would rather be anywhere else right then. She
always had a strange effect on people, but Jack hadn’t considered
what kind of toll that would take on Bekah.

Bekah glared up at him as the last words left
his tongue. Lexi just smiled weakly, not entirely sure how to take
that statement.

“Uh…I brought your suitcase,” he told Lexi
offhandedly, attempting to make conversation. “I thought we could
just go to Bekah’s before the party tonight, and you could change
there. Her place is right around the corner.”

Lexi arched one eyebrow in disbelief. He
actually believed that she was going to go to this party? After the
disastrous conversation with Bekah and the embarrassing
confrontation with Ramsey, there was no way she ever wanted to hang
out with these two again. “Oh, well I’m not going.”

Jack opened his mouth to protest, but Bekah
got there first. “What do you mean you’re not going? You already
said that you would go.”

“No, I never actually said that. Everything
was just kind of decided for me,” she reminded them. The events of
that afternoon had transpired so quickly that Lexi hadn’t even had
time to decline the party invitation.

“But Ramsey assumes you’ll be there,” Bekah
told her.

Lexi wasn’t sure why Bekah was trying to get
her to go to this thing. She obviously didn’t like her, and that
was just fine with Lexi. All Lexi really wanted right then was an
extra-large New York-style pizza, sweatpants, and endless hours of
super sappy chick flicks. “Well, he’ll just have to get over it. I
can’t make it.”

“What do you have to do?” Jack asked.

“Family stuff.”

“Aren’t you spending the rest of the week
with them?” he continued to probe her.

“Well…yeah.”

“Then you can come out for one night with
us,” Bekah told her, standing and possessively entwining her
fingers with Jack’s.

Lexi thought she might vomit at the sight.
Her stomach was rolling and she didn’t like it. She just needed to
get away. She needed to get away right now.

Something was up with Bekah, and Lexi knew
it. This girl couldn’t be everything she acted like she was. Her
emotions were all over the charts. She took every statement as if
it were a personal blow against her. And Lexi was just trying to be
honest! Well, so maybe she was telling the truth a little too
blunt, because this girl got under her skin. But who cares?

As soon as she had met Bekah, Lexi knew that
this
couldn’t
be the girl that Jack was going to marry. He
could not be with her. The sweet and innocent act only went skin
deep, and Jack could do better. He had dated
her
after
all…well, kind of.

With all these thoughts rolling around in her
head, Lexi knew that the best thing for her would be to get away as
soon as possible. She didn’t want to do anything to sabotage their
relationship if this was what he really wanted. If Jack had wanted
Lexi, then he would have tried to make things work between them.
But he hadn’t. And Lexi had to deal with that fact. She had to deal
with knowing that he hadn’t chosen her. He didn’t want her.

It hurt. Damn, did it hurt! But she couldn’t
do anything to change it.

But the other side—the less logical side—kept
wondering why, if Jack did want Bekah, did he almost kiss Lexi last
night? Why did he come home a day early from his trip to see her,
and not tell Bekah about it?

That was the side that agreed to go to
Ramsey’s party. The side that wanted to know if Jack still cared
about her the way that she cared about him. If perhaps, Bekah was
just the next best alternative.

CHAPTER 8

MAY THREE YEARS EARLIER

Lexi stared wistfully out the backseat window
across the changing terrain. The rolling hills eased into a flat
expanse anticipating the coming ocean front. She could almost smell
the distinct scent of salt mingled in the air. Decrepit signs,
interspersed amongst the neon bulbs flashing from the street side,
caught her eyes briefly before they locked onto the next tethered
old business vying to compete with the beach community only twenty
minutes away. Palm trees had started springing up about forty-five
minutes back, and Lexi’s desire to be beach-side, sprawled out with
the sand between her toes, had grown exponentially since then.

“Babe, chill out. You’re doing that thing
with your hair again,” Clark said snatching her hand from her face
and clutching it in his.

Startled out of her daydreams, she glanced
into Clark’s soothing green eyes. He had on a green intramural
soccer shirt which only intensified the gorgeous shade.

“Sorry,” Lexi said biting her bottom lip and
suggestively raising her eyebrows at him, feeling the all too
familiar desire to kiss him creep through her.

He traced the palm of her hand with his thumb
and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “We’ll be there soon. I know
you’re anxious.”

Lexi giggled looking at him coyly across her
shoulder. “Oh yes, I’m very…anxious.”

He smiled warmly back at her, but was
interrupted from responding by Seth. “None of that lovey-dovey shit
back there. We’re not even putting you two in the same room. The
walls are too thin for all that,” Seth said laughing as both their
faces turned to pouts.

“Whatever, Seth,” Lexi said leaning forward
across the center of the seat. She ignored Luke seated in the
passenger seat ogling the cleavage bulging out of her low-cut
halter top, and ruffled Seth’s hair. “You can’t honestly expect us
to stay off of each other.”

“I’m not expecting it. No. But you can do
that shit during the day. There isn’t enough space at night for you
two to be in the same room.” Lexi leaned forward farther giving
Seth a decidedly better view of her rack. “And,” he responded
taking in the full view of her, “if you think that,” he pointed at
her breasts, “is going to change anything, you’re wrong.” Despite
his comment, she could tell his breathing was getting shallow.
Men!

Clark grabbed her waist in his hands and
pulled her back towards him. He snaked an arm around her shoulders,
drawing her into him, and kissed her passionately. “I think we’ll
make up for it. Don’t you?” he asked nibbling on her bottom
lip.

A small moan escaped her mouth, but she
pulled back shortly afterwards. She didn’t mind being flirtatious
around their friends, however, she had to draw the line somewhere.
Clark rarely liked where the line was drawn when it came to PDA.
She let her gaze shift back out the window as they reached Seth’s
parents’ beach house.

Seth’s parents were celebrating their
twenty-fifth wedding anniversary by cruising for seven blissful
days in the Mediterranean. He had taken the liberty of securing…uh
stealing a key to their new house from his younger sister, and
invited as many of his friends to join him for the conveniently
planned week before graduation. Many had turned down the invitation
since it did fall so close to graduation, but eight had eventually
agreed and were now in two cars driving towards their vacation
destination.

Lexi had initially been concerned about the
arrangement. Several people in attendance had lived with Jack at
one point in time, and all of the people going knew him. But when
Clark had excitedly invited her for his pre-graduation vacation,
she hadn’t been able to tell him why she felt unsure about going on
a free week-long trip to the beach when her summer job hadn’t
started yet.

Clark. She smiled just thinking about him.
They had met through Jack originally back in her freshman year. He
hadn’t known all the details of what had gone on between them at
the time, but he had learned enough to put the pieces together.
When Clark had stumbled across Lexi walking around the mall, he
hadn’t been able to stop himself from asking her out even knowing
something had gone on with her and Jack. He unintentionally
confessed that he had always thought she was way too good for Jack,
and not even close to Jack’s type. Lexi hadn’t been sure if she
wanted to say yes to the offer. Clark was a friend of Jack’s.
Awkward. And even worse, he knew at least some of what they had
gone through. Even more awkward.