Avoiding Commitment (16 page)

Instead of fingering her like she so desired,
he ran his fingers across the wet sides of her lips hitting each
sensitive nerve perfectly. Her back arched and she let loose a low
moan, feeling her body reaching all new heights. He was drawing out
her pleasure, knowing that each touch was sending her farther and
farther over the edge. He was increasing her bliss by prolonging
the time until her climax, waiting until he allowed her to orgasm.
When he knew she couldn’t take it any longer, he inserted two of
his fingers directly into her. He felt her instantly clench around
him, causing his erection to harden even further in his jeans.

Lexi began laboriously panting as she felt
her climax take over her body. Jack’s fingers were working in a
come-hither motion on the inside of her sending her over the edge.
She moaned even louder, only just resisting the urge to scream in
delight.

Her legs were shaking convulsively by now as
he removed his fingers and swiped at his mouth. “I’ve wanted to do
that for so long,” he said leaning forward and kissing her. “And
damn, do you taste good.”

She blushed at his words. Even after what had
just happened, sexual references still made her blush. This made
her giggle. She felt euphoric.

“Damn, Lex, you look cute like that.” He
assessed her naked form. “You should always be naked around
me.”

She blushed even deeper. “Come here,” she
commanded snaking her arms around his neck and pulling him in for
another kiss. “I want you,” she moaned against his lips.

“You want me?”

“Inside of me. Now.”

She didn’t have to say it twice. He quickly
undid his belt and tugged his jeans to the ground. Lexi smiled
sweetly at his blue boxers covered with tiny yellow fish. He tore
those off as well and repositioned himself over her. It was his
turn to pant while his erection hovered only inches above her
soaking wet opening.

His crystal clear blue eyes bored into her as
he got ready to meet her. “Are you sure, Lex?” She could tell it
was taking every ounce of self-control he had not to just shove
himself right inside of her, taking her for his own. Every
inch—yes,
every
inch—was hard-pressed and ready to go.

But was she sure? She hadn’t been sure the
whole time. In fact, the only thing she had been sure of was having
the most amazing orgasm she could ever imagine. She wanted him
inside of her, but something was nagging at her. If she went ahead
and slept with him right then and there, like her body was begging
her to do, there would be no going back. Maybe if they stopped
where they were, she would be able to recover from what happened,
but not after sex. Sex was final.

“Lex, you’re killing me here. I want you. I
just need to know if you are sure this is what you want.”

She sighed heavily, her hands coming to cover
her face. “Oh Jack, it’s what I want.” He sighed happily, and moved
himself so that the tip just barely touched her. He then shifted
his hips to rub it up against her gently. She moaned at the feel of
him, and then pushed herself away. “But I can’t,” she whispered
sitting up against the headboard.

She watched his face fall as he realized that
she wasn’t going to go through with it. But he wasn’t going to
pressure her. If she said no, then he was going to be okay with
that.

He rolled over to the other side of the bed
and lay back against the sheets. “I just want to make everything up
to you. If you don’t want to go further, that’s okay,” he finally
said after his breath began to even out.

Lexi hopped off the bed and quickly began
throwing on clothes. “Actually, I don’t think you should make it up
to me.”

“What?” he asked, concern written on his
face.

“Jack, I have a boyfriend. I can’t believe I
just did that.” Guilt washed over her.

“But you said it was okay.”

“I know I did. You didn’t do anything wrong.
You asked me if it was okay. I was wrong for not stopping you.”

“No, Lex, you weren’t wrong,” he said joining
her on the carpet and grabbing her hands in his.

“I was wrong. I can’t be around you,
Jack.”

“This is something you want though.”

“Not while I’m with someone else,” she said,
lifting her face to meet his. Tears were welling in her eyes and
she quickly wiped them away. She was so ashamed of herself. “I just
have to go.”

“Lexi, please, don’t run out like this,” he
said tugging on his boxers and jeans.

“I can’t be around you,” she yelled, hating
herself for raising her voice when he had done nothing wrong. She
just wanted to crawl into a hole. She felt like such a creep. How
could she go on? How could she live with herself? She had been so
lost in the moment—in him—that she couldn’t even think straight.
She couldn’t process that she was ruining her life by being there
with him, by letting him touch and kiss her like that. No matter
how wonderful it had been, the guilt she was feeling was so much
worse.

“Don’t beat yourself up about this,” he
whispered to her as she threw her purse onto her shoulder and moved
towards the bedroom door. “I don’t want you walking out the door
and never talking to me again.”

“Jack, what I feel for you...I can’t feel
like this when I have someone else. I’m not supposed to be this
person. I’m not supposed to do these things. You have to
understand. You’re too much for me.”

“I can’t understand that. We’re right for
each other.”

“But not right now,” she said, hollowly
repeating his own words. Her brown eyes glanced up and met his.
“Isn’t that right?”

“No,” he said reaching out for her. “Right
now is right.” She backed away not wanting to be touched by anyone,
especially not him. All she needed was a scalding shower and a few
nights of repentance. Thank God, Spencer wouldn’t be back for a
couple days. Maybe by then he wouldn’t notice.

“No, Jack,” she murmured shaking her head.
“I’m sorry. I can’t be around you.”

“Lex, come on.”

“No,” she stated firmly. “I’ll miss you.” Her
words came out weak.

“I don’t want to miss you again. I want to
see you more. I want us to hang out. God, I want us to finish our
movie.”

She shook her head adamantly. “I shouldn’t
have come over. I knew this was going to happen. I’m such an idiot.
I can’t resist you. Good-bye,” she said reaching out and giving him
a fleeting kiss before yanking the door and rushing out of the
room.

When she reached her car, she let the tears
flow. She pulled out of his driveway nearly blinded by tears.

How had she thought that this could be some
innocent night?

How could she lie to herself about what she
was doing?

CHAPTER 7

PRESENT

The coffee shop Bekah chose for them to
finally have their conversation in was delightful. In some ways, it
reminded her so much of the place where she and Jack had first met.
It wasn’t well-lit, and there were so many people milling around
that it seemed damn near impossible that they were going to find a
table. On the other hand, the establishment was huge. Unlike chain
and small town coffee shops, this place had three stories and took
up an entire corner of a building. Lexi never bought coffee at
places like this. For her, it lost the cozy atmosphere with the
size.

Meandering through the densely populated
shop, they went on a search for an unoccupied table. Lexi veered
away from Bekah hoping to spot an available table in the opposite
direction.

Jack had dropped her off outside the coffee
shop after brunch. He had complained the whole way back about
having to wear a tie, and had ditched her as soon as they arrived.
He claimed he would be gone only as long as it took for him to
change. She was pretty pissed that he had left. After all, he was
the whole reason for this stupid conversation.

She didn’t know if it made it easier or
harder knowing that Jack wouldn’t be hearing everything she said.
On the one hand, she would be able to speak more freely about their
relationship, because she wouldn’t feel constrained by his
memories. But at the same time, she might be more convincing if
Jack was there to back her up.

“Lexi?” a voice called out to her.

She turned in a half-circle hoping to find
Bekah finally seated at a booth. She just wanted to get this over
with. But Bekah was nowhere to be found. She heard her name called
again, and this time she recognized the direction of the voice.
Turning slowly, she stopped and gawked at the person who had called
out to her.

“Oh my God! Krista is that you?” Lexi asked
rushing to hug the petite girl who had once been her gymnastics
captain in college. “I hardly recognized you.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” she peeped standing
to accept the embrace.

“Your hair…it’s all one color…brown,” Lexi
exclaimed in awe. “And who would have guessed anyone would ever
find you in a business suit!”

“Not in a million years,” she said adjusting
her silky v-neck blouse to reveal a bit more cleavage.

“I thought you were in Vegas. When did you
move back to Atlanta?” Lexi asked enthusiastically. Krista giggled.
The girl actually giggled holding out her left hand to reveal a
huge diamond surrounded by four others on a white gold band. “Oh
wow, that’s beautiful.” Lexi stared transfixed at her ring. The
rock was enormous. Lexi didn’t believe anyone actually wore
diamonds that large out and about, but Krista always liked to catch
people by surprise.

“I got married last winter. My husband’s
company has an Atlanta branch. He knew how much I loved it out here
so he relocated. I’m working with an interior design company. It’s
kind of dull but the hours are flexible. If they weren’t, I’d quit
that shit and go fulltime at the gym. We’ve got some amazingly
talented girls. Last year, we had one make it almost all the way
through the Olympic trials,” she explained.

“That’s amazing!” Lexi exclaimed truly happy
for her friend.

“So, what are you doing here, missy? I’d
heard through the grapevine that you were in fucking New York
City,” Krista said her green eyes glimmering.

“Yeah, I am. I’m just here visiting a
friend.” Lexi paused remembering that Krista and Jack knew each
other. “Actually, I’m visiting Jack. Uh…Jack Howard.”

“Holy shit! Jack fucking Howard. Now that’s a
name I haven’t heard in awhile. I thought you two would be married
by now. Run off together or something,” Krista noted.

Lexi blushed. “Um…no.”

“Damn. You always seemed like a perfect pair
to me,” Krista told her. She watched as Lexi’s complexion colored
even further. “So where is he?” she asked her head swiveling hoping
to catch a glimpse of him. “He’s so delicious. I’d love to see him
again.”

Lexi laughed remembering why she had always
liked Krista. She was so straight-forward and vulgar. It was
refreshing. “He actually just dropped me off. I’m here with his…”
Lexi trailed off realizing that she had been standing here for
awhile and had completely lost Bekah.

“With his what?” Krista asked curiously.

“Uh…hold on.” Lexi pivoted trying to look
through the crowd, but she was too short. She couldn’t see
anyone.

“Who are we looking for?” Krista asked
scanning the throng of people.

“There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere
for you,” Bekah stated calmly as she walked towards them from the
opposite direction of where they had been searching.

“Yeah. Sorry,” Lexi stated awkwardly turning
to face her. “I just ran into a friend.”

“What a coincidence,” Bekah said turning to
face Krista. “Bekah Bridges.” She extended her hand formally.

Krista took it, but glanced at Lexi
conspiratorially. “Krista Hammond.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Bekah replied
properly. “Wait. Hammond?” she asked eyeing her appearance. Krista
nodded, one eyebrow arched perfectly. “Any connection to Hammond,
Stern, & Birch?”

Krista’s eyes narrowed. “That depends,” she
muttered. Krista, always blunt, asked her, “Who the hell are
you?”

“Beg your pardon?”

Lexi stepped in. “Krista, this is Jack’s
girlfriend. That’s what I was going to tell you. I’m here with his
girlfriend.”

Krista stared blankly from Lexi to Bekah and
back. “
You’re
dating Jack?” she asked Bekah. “Jack
Howard?”

“That’s right.”

“Not Lexi?” Krista demanded.

Lexi wanted to cover her face with her hands.
This was not going to help anything.

“Well, no,” Bekah said confusion crossing her
face.

“I already told you Jack and I aren’t
together,” she reminded Krista.

“I’m sorry. How do you know a Hammond?” Bekah
snootily asked Lexi before turning to Krista, “And how do you know
Jack?”

“I used to fuck one of Jack’s friends,”
Krista said nonchalantly at the same time as Lexi announced, “We
were on the gymnastics team together.”

The look Bekah shot Krista was a mixture of
disdain and confusion. Lexi figured she wasn’t used to being around
such crudeness especially not from someone who had a
name
she recognized. This just reminded Lexi why she couldn’t stand
being around Country Club types.

Bekah shook her head letting her golden
blonde hair swish around her face. A bright smile appeared out of
nowhere. “Well, it is so nice to meet another one of Jack’s
friends,” Bekah said adapting to the situation. “Perhaps we could
get together sometime,” she offered. “You know coffee or lunch.
Whatever works best for you.”

Krista glanced at Lexi. “Yeah, maybe.” Lexi
could read her expression clear as day.
No chance in
hell.

“So, just out of curiosity, are you in any
way related to Matt Hammond?” Bekah nosily asked.

“Yeah, we got married last winter,” Krista
told her showing off her massive ring.