Awakening (10 page)

Downing the rest of the bourbon in his glass in deep, hard swallows, Evan poured himself another and leant against the sill of his window, doing his best to draw some peace from the serenity of the evening outside. The street below was lit with streetlights that had been designed to look like those old-fashioned gas lanterns. These were alternated with planters full of colourful flowers and greenery that gave the street a feeling of vibrancy and life. He’d chosen this location for his store because it was exactly the kind of street that invited an easy stroll to just take in the atmosphere. He’d been convinced he’d get a lot of spontaneous foot traffic, and he’d been right.

Whenever he was out of sorts, he’d always been able to just look out his window and relax. He was a people watcher. He enjoyed imagining what the people he saw on the street might be about. It reminded him that life went on even if he felt like his had stalled out. There were only a few people out tonight, typical of a Sunday evening. A young woman of about 20 was jogging along the opposite side of the street. Her long, blonde ponytail swung in time with her steps. An older man in a worn fedora and a muddy brown cardigan walked a small, white Pomeranian that was making a point of lifting its leg on every lamp post. A couple strolled leisurely along at the end of the street, headed in his direction. The man’s arm was wrapped around his lady’s shoulders and hers around his waist. Their body language was intimate and affectionate, and a pang of envy shot through him at their obvious closeness.

He missed that. Missed having someone you cared for in your life. Missed the intimate touches and body closeness that came from being with someone you loved, but what could he do? His love had died and he couldn’t imagine finding that again.

Evan straightened and downed the last of the bourbon. It was time to go to bed. At least if he was asleep he wouldn’t be thinking about Claire. As he turned, the tinkle of laughter drifted up to him and he went rigid as every hair on his body stood at attention. He knew that laugh.

Evan whirled around and leant into the window to get a better look at the couple. They were between lights and in shadow, thwarting his effort. As they progressed toward the next pool of light their features slowly resolved. It was Claire and her mystery man, and she was smiling up at him with what could only be called adoration shining out of her face. They were headed in the direction of her townhouse. She was taking him home.

That realisation sunk into the marrow of his bones and chilled him to the core. With a roar, Evan spun and flung his glass across the room before stomping into the bedroom and slamming the door. The tinkle of splintering glass was the only sound remaining in the empty room.

Chapter Seven – Unleashed

S
HE GLOWED
. E
VAN
stood in the doorway of the store room and watched as Claire led the group’s discussion of their latest selection. She was animated and vibrant and radiated a confidence he’d never seen in her before. Her eyes sparkled, and her shoulders were back and firm rather than slightly hunched. She was laughing and engaging the group. She was transformed.

Scowling, Evan headed back to the front to get a head start on the evening paperwork. She was fucking him. That was the only possible explanation. Women always glowed during the honeymoon stage of a relationship. He was probably telling her everything she wanted to hear.

He hadn’t thought his mood could get any blacker. Over the last week, he’d had plenty of time to stew over the idea of Claire and her mystery man. She hadn’t even come in during the week like she usually did. Just like a woman. Get a man and give up everything around them. This was exactly what he’d been worried about. Claire was at a very dangerous phase in her exposure to BDSM. She was open and curious, with no real guidance. She needed to be handled with care and patience, to be brought slowly along. Her limits explored and gently pushed. The wrong person could get his hands on her – literally – and wreck everything Evan was trying to do.

That thought stopped him up short. What exactly was he trying to do? He wasn’t trying to get into anything physical with her. He just hadn’t wanted her to think her desires represented some kind of sickness. He’d wanted her to see that she wasn’t alone and there were avenues for her to channel her needs productively. But, given her taste for impact play, she needed to be very careful. If it were him, he’d start with spanking, maybe progress to light flogging, before getting into anything harder. See how she responded. See if what she’d subconsciously been trying to coerce her boyfriend to do was a true need, and then channel it.

The mere thought of his hands on Claire, her round little ass turning pink, had his body raging. She had a luscious ass. Full and round. He couldn’t help but notice it every time she came in, something that set his teeth on edge. But then, what didn’t set his teeth on edge about the damnable woman? She was a constant source of frustration for him.

Tonight had been the absolute worst. She’d come in and he’d done a double-take. He’d literally had to take a moment and figure out who this gorgeous, radiant creature that had just walked through his door was. She vibrated with a joy he hadn’t ever seen in her. She’d smiled at him as soon as she’d seen him, and raised her hand in greeting, calling out a hello to him. A first. He hadn’t answered, and had frowned at her when he’d realised it was Claire. Her smile had wavered a bit, but she’d visibly steeled herself, nodded at him, and gone to the back.

He hadn’t meant to be rude, but he’d been stunned into speechlessness. She was wearing a form-fitting pencil skirt that hugged her ass and accentuated her waist. She’d paired it with a tailored, ruby blouse that showed off her slimness while highlighting her pert breasts. The colour did amazing things for her skin too, bringing out a light pink flush that made her appear almost luminescent. Her hair was loose and she’d done something to it so that it framed her face and highlighted the delicateness of her features. The knee boots she wore gave her the impression of height and the stiletto heels added a hint of sexy that she didn’t normally convey. She looked fucking delicious. His mouth had literally watered. So had his cock. Thank God he always wore black or else a definite wet spot would have shown through his jeans.

And this was exactly why he stayed away from her. He was standing in the middle of his store, his dick hard as a rock, dripping and fighting the temptation to bend her over and spank her little ass until it burned. He expected better of himself. He’d never been this ruled by his temptations with Marianne. Evan’s heart thunked, and his cock deflated. He was an ass. What was he thinking? He could never replace Marianne.

With a heavy sigh, Evan sat at the register and began running the day’s sales reports. He was letting himself get caught up in something he had no business being involved in. He could never give Claire what she needed. She needed someone who could commit fully to her and be there for her emotionally. He had given his heart away and then buried it. She’d obviously found someone who made her happy. He needed to just let it all go.

‘Ooof.’ Claire stumbled and latched on to Evan’s arm as she tried to stay upright. She’d been reading the back cover of her latest erotica selection and hadn’t been paying attention to where she was walking as she headed back to the seating area to read. The movement brought her into almost full body contact with him. He grabbed her as she stumbled and his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her against him. Her body reacted immediately to his nearness. Her breathing sped up and her nipples went instantly erect. Deep inside, she tingled and went damp.

He, on the other, hand seemed offended. His powerful body was rigid, the scowl on his face harsh and menacing. Those deep chocolate eyes that she fantasised about blazed with anger, and his lips were a cruel slash. She quickly pulled away from him and stepped back.

‘Sorry about that,’ Claire took a deep breath and smiled up at him. She was determined not to let him intimidate her any longer. He might find her disgusting, but dammit, she was a paying customer and she had as much right as anyone else to be in the store. Her feelings about him were irrelevant. She was a grown woman and would deal with her crush privately. She’d get over it eventually. No longer was she going to hide and shrink.

After her dinner with Marcus, it was as if a door inside her opened. She’d never felt more in control of her own life. Reconnecting with Marcus had been that first step on the road to getting both closure with her past and to traversing the path to her future. The last week had been a whirlwind of visits with him and his family. She’d spent several evenings at their house, meeting his wife and getting to know her niece. She’d even signed up for a class in the Israeli martial art, Krav Maga. Claire had always wanted to be able to defend herself, but had been too self-conscious to do anything about it.

She might need physical pain at some level, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be a victim. She’d been doing a lot of soul searching and had come to the realisation that she wanted to experience what BDSM had to offer. She just wasn’t sure how to go about it. The trust needed to ensure you didn’t end up someone’s victim was deep and she was frightened of choosing the wrong person.

The irony was that the person she felt would suit seemed offended by her very presence. Evan’s kindness and generosity was apparent. He seemed deeply intuitive and was highly regarded. If Bridget trusted him, then he must be trustworthy. Bridget was nothing if not reserved and sceptical with men as a result of her rape. She trusted very few, and she had only glowing things to say about Evan. It was clearly Claire that he had a problem with. But to say she didn’t want Evan to be her first would have been a lie. He was the number one star in her fantasies now. He was her Sir in her head if not in the flesh, and she found herself hoping each time she saw him to be able to make him smile rather than scowl at her, to engage him in conversation and get to know him, but so far he’d only gotten more distant.

‘Sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.’ Her smile turned sheepish.

‘Yeah, I know,’ he growled at her.

Taken aback by his abruptness, she stammered, ‘Um … Well … OK.’ She started to head back to the seating area. Clearly, she wasn’t going to get different results tonight.

‘That was careless.’ He actually stepped closer and loomed over her. He was so close she could smell his scent. ‘You should know better than to be so careless.’

Claire absolutely hated when big men used their size to intimidate her. She knew she was small; they didn’t have to exploit it. She stepped back, only to come up hard against the shelves behind her. Evan stepped closer and towered over her with his hands fisted on his hips.

‘What if you’d tripped and fallen? You could have hurt yourself. Especially wearing those ridiculous boots. They’re just an accident waiting to happen.’

‘Excuse me.’ Claire frowned up at him. She could almost feel his anger. The muscles in his neck were tense and stood out in stark relief. His eyebrows were drawn so tightly together she wondered if they’d fuse in place. ‘You’re overreacting just a bit, don’t you think?’

‘Overreacting? I don’t think so. If you hurt yourself in this store, I’m liable.’

‘Evan –’

‘No.’ He cut her off. His expression was as stony as his tone. ‘I’m beginning to wonder if you need a keeper. You come in here and fall asleep. You walk home by yourself after dark without any thought for the danger, and now you’re not even watching where you’re going. Are you stupid?’

All colour drained from Claire’s face at his words. Shame and humiliation warred with righteous anger. How dare he chastise her this way! How dare he insult her! The world went black then red as Claire found her voice.

‘Who the
hell
do you think you are?’ She poked her finger into his chest. It was rigid with tension and her finger hurt, but she didn’t care. She poked him again, harder. ‘You have
no
right to speak to me this way. You know absolutely
nothing
about me or why I do anything I do. I think I know why you treat me like a pariah when you seem to be able to be so nice and kind to all of your other customers, but I will not stand here and be insulted by you.

‘
Not
that it is any of your damn business, but I live just a few blocks away. I am extremely careful and I even signed up to learn a martial art. Yes, I take a risk, but I refuse to live my life a prisoner. I have no one in my life to accompany me here, so I either come by myself or I don’t come at all.’ Claire was shouting at him now. She was trying to stay calm, but all of her patience had flown out the window. ‘But,’ she continued through gritted teeth, ‘since I apparently disgust you so badly, you won’t have to worry about that any more. Now –’ she set the books she’d been carrying down on the shelf and pushed at his chest with both hands ‘– get the hell out of my way.’

He refused to move, seemingly rooted in place. Instead, it was Claire who backtracked. Snatching up her tote, she rounded the stacks, and then stormed toward the door.

‘Claire!’ Evan called from behind her. She heard him moving quickly toward her and spun around, holding up a hand.

‘Don’t you come near me.’ Claire’s breathing was ragged as rage coursed through her. ‘I don’t want to hear anything more you have to say. You’ve said quite enough.’ Spinning on her heel, she snatched open the door, and walked home as fast as her “ridiculous” high heels allowed.

Chapter Eight – Turning Points

S
HE WASN
’
T COMING
back. It had been two weeks and she hadn’t shown up. Not once. Jean wasn’t speaking to him and Bridget had given him the evil eye for a whole week before she’d finally relented and given him a piece of her mind. She’d heard all about how he’d been out of line, rude, obnoxious, and mean, and how dare he treat “poor Claire” that way!

Poor Claire, my ass.

Evan rubbed the now faded bruise on his chest. She’d managed to poke him hard and deep enough that he’d had a bruise just under his right pec for a week. He smiled at the memory. She’d stood up to him, no doubt about it. She’d been beautiful in her righteous anger. The light flush on her cheeks and that gleam in her eye … She’d been magnificent. His smile faded as he recalled the cause of all of her new-found confidence – her mystery man. No doubt she was spending her time with him. Evan scowled at the thought.