Awakening: Montana Wolves, Book 2

Chandra woke to the sound of footsteps stumbling up the stairs, then down the hallway past her bedroom door. She peered at the clock next to her bed and groaned.
3:00 a.m.

It was clearly time to ask Liam if she could move quarters to the next wing over. She’d still be close enough if little Ryan needed to stop by at night to talk, but far enough away that she could avoid having to hear the grand, late-night entrances his father, Jax, had gotten into the habit of making this past month. It was too painful being this close, watching him come apart at the seams a little more each day.

A feminine peal of laughter interrupted her thoughts. She closed her eyes as her heart squeezed painfully in her chest.
Oh, no way
. Jax had been lucky so far that Ryan had slept through his drunken entrances over the past weeks, but there was no way he could sleep through that
.
How could he do this to them?
To Ryan
, she amended quickly.

The laugh, nasal and high-pitched, sounded again, and Chandra rolled off her bed onto her feet. The sympathy she’d felt moments before evaporated instantly under the white heat of fury.

Clearly, the two lovebirds were so entranced with one another they were entirely unconcerned about the feelings of the sweet little boy sleeping a few doors down. If they were making this much noise before they even made it to the bedroom, Chandra cringed to think of the kind of racket they would make once they were inside.

She was halfway out the door to give them a piece of her mind before she realized she was buck naked. Stalking quickly to her dresser, she grabbed a nightgown, jamming it over her head as she headed to Jax’s bedroom.

She reached his door and gave it two sharp raps. Giggles erupted from the room, and the voices within modulated to the overly exaggerated whispers only drunkards could manage.

Stumbling footsteps moved closer and then paused. The door swung open to reveal a disheveled Jax. His short, honey curls were tousled, and his shirt was opened to the waist, revealing his hard stomach and bare chest. The verbal lashing she had mentally rehearsed on the way down the hall died at the sight of him. Blood roared in her ears as desire hit her hard, momentarily eclipsing her anger.

“See anything you like?” he asked in that drunken whisper as he weaved in place, leaning heavily on the door jamb.

Chandra tore her gaze away from his body and met his bleary eyes, mentally cursing herself for being distracted by his physique when she was so mad at him she could scream.

She rallied quickly, working up a fair imitation of an incredulous snort. “Uh, yeah, if I’m ever in the market for a drunken dumb-ass I will definitely look you up. But for now, I’m all set. I wanted to come by and tell you that you and your obnoxious friend are loud enough to wake the dead and, unless you want your son to come and witness this, you might want to shut it down for the night, Champ.”

A petite but buxom blonde with improbably large breasts encased in an impossibly small shirt stumbled up behind him, wrapping her arms around his midsection possessively. The cloying scent of liberally applied Chanel perfume was so overwhelming to Chandra’s sensitive nose, she almost gagged.

Still, as angry as she was, relief coursed through her as it finally registered that the blonde woman was exactly that: a woman, of the regular human variety. She wasn’t a werewolf like herself and Jax, so there was no way the relationship was heading anywhere serious. But that didn’t explain what the hell she was doing in the house.

Blondie pouted over Jax’s shoulder and whined, “Jax, who is this woman? And why is she talking about me that way?”

“That’s a great question. Who
do
you think you are, Chandra?” His eyes seemed to have cleared a bit, and his tone was challenging.

Not willing to back down, Chandra met his gaze with a cool glare. “Do the right thing here. Give her some cab fare and send her on her way. And next time, go to her place. Don’t you think Ryan’s been through enough?”

Jax’s eyes grew icy. He shrugged the blonde off his shoulders and said softly, “Amber, why don’t you go ahead and make us a drink. I’ll be back in one minute.”

He grasped Chandra’s wrists, pulled her down the hallway back into her own room and then shut the door behind them.

“Let me go,” she bit out, wrenching her wrists from his grasp, heart pounding wildly at both his touch and the anger-fueled adrenaline coursing through her veins.

“You’ve overstepped your bounds, Chandra. I appreciate all your help with Ryan these past few months and value our friendship. But no one knows or understands what my son is going through more than me. Apparently you forgot that he’s having a sleep over at Niles’ place tonight with his son, Spencer. He. Is. Not. Here.”

As he spoke, his eyes blazed with anger and something else…hurt?

“I would never, ever bring home some one-night stand if he were. And it kinda pisses me off that you think I would.”

Chandra’s stomach lurched as she realized what Jax said was true. Ryan had told her about it earlier in the week. He was even excited about it, in his own subdued way. How had she forgotten? As she thought about it, she realized she hadn’t seen him in the family room after dinner, but she figured he was out with Jax. It had totally slipped her mind.

Embarrassment refueled her anger. “Well, maybe I would have thought of that if you hadn’t woken me up with your cavorting at three in the morning. Even if it wasn’t for the woman, this has got to stop. The drinking. The late nights.” She threw her head back and glared at him. “You’re acting like a college kid.”

“And
you’re
acting like a jealous mate.”

Shit. What had made him say that?

Probably the bourbon, asshole.

The words hung heavy between them for a moment before Chandra’s pale cheeks bloomed with furious color. Jax couldn’t say why, but even when he felt bad about baiting her, nothing in his current life gave him greater satisfaction than seeing her riled up like this. With her unruly main of auburn curls and her green eyes flashing fire, she looked like an avenging angel.

If he wasn’t so pissed off, he would have grinned at her, just to rile her up even more. But he
was
pissed. Who was she to judge him? She couldn’t possibly understand what it had been like for him to lose Sara.

His stomach clenched painfully at the thought of his deceased mate. He tried to picture her pretty face. It took a while these days, longer than it should have, and he hated himself for it. It was like a cruel joke.

For the first few months after her death, he’d wanted to forget her. The way she’d smelled, her soft laugh and forgiving nature. He
tried
to forget, because thinking of her hurt too much. But she was part of everything around him. When he dressed in the morning, he would find her pink fluffy socks mixed in with his. Outside his bedroom window, her rose garden had continued to bloom. Christ, when he went to the bathroom, her fucking soap was on the side of the tub. He couldn’t turn around without her presence right there, slamming him in the gut.

But now? Nine months later, he wanted—
needed
—to remember her, or else it was going to be like she’d never been there at all. What could Chandra know of that pain?

Almost as bad as losing Sara, though, was the knowledge that he had failed her. And now, it seemed like he was failing his son as well.

Chandra had apparently recovered from her initial shock at his comment and took advantage of his silence to let loose on him. “Jealous mate?
Jealous mate
? I wouldn’t be your mate if you and Scooby Doo were the last two canines on the planet.”

He didn’t respond, caught up in his own painful revelation. The fire in her eyes died as she looked at him, and the anger seemed to drain away.

“Damn it, Jax, how about caring friend? That’s what I’m trying to be here.”

He turned away and scrubbed a hand over his face as he slumped down in the chair at the foot of her bed. The pleasant buzz he’d spent all night cultivating faded and now it all just felt a little sad.

“You’re right,” he muttered. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I do the best I can with Ryan. I try to help him through this. But it hurts so much. It’s almost like when my pain and his combine, I can’t take it. The first few months after Sara died, I was in shock. I didn’t even really think about tomorrow or the fact that I would never see her face or hear her voice again, you know?”

She nodded, her expression mirroring the pain he felt in his chest.

“But then watching Liam and Amalie together. And Thanksgiving. And Christmas. It’s moving so fast. When I got out after he’s asleep, it’s in hopes that a few drinks will take the edge off. Because it’s real now. The world just keeps on turning, and she’s never coming back.” His throat tightened. “I’m…starting to forget her face, Chan, and that kills me.”

She walked to him, arms open, and cradled his head to her stomach, rocking slowly, murmuring words meant to comfort. He wrapped his arms around her hips and held on tight as she swayed, letting her warmth soothe his battered soul.

They stayed that way until a shrill voice from down the hall called out, “Jaxy, where are yoo-oo? Come out, come out wherever you are! I’m gonna get lost in this house again trying to find you.”

Jax stiffened and pulled his head back. How to handle his would-be paramour’s grating entreaties when he wanted nothing more than to stay here and let Chandra hold him for a little longer?

“Holy mother of God, is that a seal barking?” he deadpanned, hoping to lighten things a bit before he left her.

She let out a guffaw and covered her mouth to stifle it. “Now, now, Jaxy, that’s a terrible thing to say about your new girlfriend. You’d better get back in there before she wakes up the whole house with that honking.”

There was little chance of that. The house was huge and he, Ryan, and Chandra were the only ones with rooms in the east wing, but she was right. He had to figure out what to do with Amber. Especially now that he realized he didn’t want her after all.

“Yeah, I guess.” He stood and shifted from one foot to the other, trying to figure out what to say next. “Listen, thanks for caring. I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me and Ryan these past few months. You’ve been a great friend to me, and he’s crazy about you.” He hugged her tight against his chest.

As he squeezed her close, he realized with a start that she was wearing only a thin nightgown that barely covered her bottom. A surge of lust rocked through him, the kind he’d neglected to feel with the woman in the next room, and he nearly groaned. Had she always smelled so good? Like clean sheets and sunshine. He fought the urge to bury his face in her hair and gave her one last squeeze before he let her go.

She turned and started for the door to let him out as he followed a short distance behind. He tried not to stare, but damn if the cheeks of her behind weren’t peeking out from the hem of her too-short nightgown. It took all of his strength not to reach out and palm one of those cheeks to see if it felt as silky and plump as it looked. Something primal he thought had died with Sara was stirring within him more and more every time he was around Chandra, and it was distracting as hell.

Need.

Not your standard biological function variety that manifested itself in morning wood, wet dreams, or the ability to bump uglies with some stranger. No, this had nothing to do with basic biology. This was raw, uncut chemistry.

Sex had been the last thing on his mind for the better part of a year. But he was an animal, a wolf at heart, and werewolves had hungers that humans couldn’t understand. Over the past few months, it had been a struggle. The instinct to mate, especially for a powerful, virile male, was strong. It was an internal, grinding need that had to be addressed. In the absence of it, he’d become irritable.

Chandra was probably aware of some of that, hell, he’d hardly been a treat to deal with lately, but what she didn’t know was that the iron control he’d been exercising to this point was starting to slip. He sometimes found himself having to focus just to stay in one form or another. When he got stressed, his body temperature rose, urging him to change. He had to get that under wraps, or it could be dangerous for both him
and
his pack. If he changed at the wrong time, in the wrong place? Disaster. They might be monsters, but there was
nothing
more monstrous than a group of fearful humans. One only had to look to the “witches” of Salem to see that.

None of that knowledge had quelled the need, though, and once Chandra had joined the pack this past fall, it had gotten almost unbearable. She was so vital and unconsciously sexy. Even the way she walked--hips twitching, shoulders back--made him want to roll up behind her, wrap his hand in her hair and pull her against him so he could feel that ass grinding against his swollen cock.

It was exactly thoughts like those that had made him start going out to the bars a few nights a week, at first hoping he could get drunk enough to dull the ache gnawing at him and get some sleep. He quickly realized that wasn’t going to work, and over the past week or so had come to terms with the fact that he needed to find a fuck buddy who could get his mind off his pack mate. Fast.

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