Awakening: Montana Wolves, Book 2 (5 page)

She opened her mouth to ask another question, but Trudy’s chin was raised and she looked like she was done talking. In fact, she was already moving away, suddenly eager to polish the glasses on the other end of the bar.

Chandra plucked another ten dollar bill and a business card from her pocket and left them on the bar before sliding off the stool and standing.

"I appreciate it more than you know, Trudy. If you think she’s in trouble or want to tell me anything, call me.  I promise she'll never know that we talked.”

By the time she got back to the house, the anger she'd felt that morning had softened, mixing with confusion and something else she didn't want to feel toward Amber.

Sympathy.

She couldn't afford to feel sorry for someone who might be a threat to her pack, no matter what the circumstance. Later that night, once everyone had gone to bed, she’d see if the security tapes shed any light on things. Hopefully, they’d show nothing out of the ordinary and she could forget all about Amber Jansen.

If not? Well, she’d handle it.

And then Amber Jansen would truly be in need of some sympathy.

As Jax entered the house with Ryan following behind, he still had a bounce in his step from his morning activities. His time with Chandra had been amazing, and he was seriously hoping they would be able to go for round two later that night.

He tried to remember the last time he’d felt so good. Before Sara had died, for sure. His heart clenched in his chest at the thought, but it was quickly replaced by a bittersweet warmth as he turned and looked at their son. Ryan resembled his mother so much. Had her gentle way and soft, kind eyes.

As he gazed at his boy, something inside Jax clicked with enough force that his knees nearly buckled. He’d been so caught up in his own pain and guilt that he’d missed something vital. It didn’t matter if he had to look at Sara’s picture to remember exactly what she looked like because the best part of her would be with him forever. It was right in front of him all along.

His throat burned and he cleared it with a gruff cough.

“Whatcha looking at?” Ryan asked, his cherubic face squeezed into a frown.

“Just you, Buddy. You look so much like your mom sometimes.”

Ryan’s regarded his father warily through blue eyes. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about her?”

His gut churned at those words, but he pushed forward. It was a new day, and there was no point in dwelling on his past mistakes. All he could do was make today better than yesterday, for both him and his son.

“Yeah, well, that’s going to have to change. See, it was hard for me to talk about your mom after she died because it hurt so much. But I’m thinking maybe it’s time we start. What do you think about that?”

Ryan looked thoughtful for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it’s a real good idea, because I don’t want to forget her, you know?” At the end, his voice clogged with tears, and Jax knelt before him and hugged him close, ruffling his mop of blond curls.

“We won’t forget her. We’ll never forget her. I’m sorry that I haven’t wanted to talk about her, and I am so sorry that my own sadness kept me from seeing how much you needed to. But I promise to do better, okay?”

Ryan nodded earnestly and wiped his tears away with a fist. “Okay.”

“Now, come on, let’s go get some hot chocolate and take it upstairs. We’ll get a bunch of pictures from the attic and spread them out on the bed and talk about all those great years we got to spend with your mom. Did you know that, when you were a baby, you were so small we used to give you baths in the sink?”

The boy’s laughter skimmed over him like a song as they talked. And for the first time in almost a year, he felt truly, honestly happy.

A few hours later, Ryan had gotten his fill of dad time and bolted off to the family room to play video games with Billy. Jax made some business calls, but after only a few, found his thoughts returning again and again to his shower partner. She was never far from his thoughts lately, now more than ever.

He set his cell down and went in search of her. Why deny himself the pleasure of her company just because they made an agreement to keep things easy? Hanging out for a while before dinner didn't have to be complicated. Hell, they'd done it plenty of times before they'd ever spent time together naked.

"Have you seen Chandra?"

Amalie sat on the great room floor, dozens of nature shots splayed out before her. "Hi to you too," she said with a grin. "I saw her earlier, but I was out most of the day. Did you check her bedroom?"

The question was innocent enough, but the gleam in her eyes when she said it had him stopping in his tracks. "Not yet. If she's behind closed doors, she's probably busy."

Like the rest of the pack, Chandra held a position within their real estate development corporation. She was on the business side of things with he and Liam, and spent at least a few hours every day both online and on the phone getting information about zoning and permits. She also worked closely with Billy and Maggie and the rest of the crew on getting construction timelines together. All in all, she was great at her job, and an integral part of making things run smoothly, so he hated to interrupt her if she was working, but it was the weekend.

And you're already making excuses to be with her more than normal. Down boy.

He focused his attention back on Amalie, who was still watching him with a bemused smile. He opened his mouth and then let it snap shut again. If she did know something, even if he asked, she wasn't going to tell him. Girl code and all that. And if she didn't know something, he'd be telling her something just by asking. He played it safe and backed out of the room with tip of his head. "Catch up with you later."

Amalie called after him as he took the stairs two at a time. "No hurry. Dinner won't be for another hour or so."

He approached Chandra's door and knocked twice in rapid succession. A friendly, uncomplicated knock if he'd ever heard one.

"Come in."

He stepped into her room to find her on all fours, folded into an upside down, contorted V-shape. "Jesus, are you okay?"

She scowled up at him. "Of course I'm okay. It's yoga. Down dog. I'm feeling tense and I thought it might help me relax."

He considered telling her he knew a better way to help her relax, but managed to keep it to himself. If he wanted to spend time with her again, he had to make sure he kept their agreement in mind and break up the intensity of their sexual encounters with something lighter. Mellow, easy times, like friends did.

At least, until later that night, when he hoped he could invoke the benefits part of their verbal contract for a second time.

She'd changed again, and was rocking a pair of form-fitting yoga pants that did astonishing things for already spectacular ass. His cock nudged the zipper of his jeans as she rolled gracefully to her feet.

"Want to hang out?"

She seemed to hesitate, but then nodded slowly. "Okay. And do what?”

"We have an hour until dinner," he said, repeating what Amalie had told him. Carnal thoughts of the things they could do to one another in an hour rose to his mind and he pushed them away. "We could play cards, maybe? Or chess?"

She turned and eyed him quizzically. "What about pool?"

He laughed out loud then. Chandra was a notorious pool shark and never passed up an opportunity to trounce one of them when she got the chance. That was fine with him, he could take it. And if he got to ogle that ass a little when she bent to make her shots, well, that wouldn't hurt his feelings one bit.

He led the way down the stairs, happy to note that whatever had been occupying her thoughts seemed to fade into the background as she talked shit to him.

“Watch and learn, pal. School is officially in session," she announced, gesturing to the long, felt-covered table with a flourish as they stepped into the game room. "Should we keep it short and sweet, or should I give you a fighting chance?"

He loved to see her like this. Confident, in her element.  It made his blood go hot.

Then again, he also liked to see her frazzled. Undone. A little nervous. "Short and sweet isn't really my bag. I like to take my time, and we already rushed through one thing today.”

Her eyes went wide and she went silent for a full ten seconds before recovering. "Ha. Good one.” Her voice sounded tinny as she strode around to the back of the table and pulled out the rack. "Best of three, loser does the dishes tonight."

They had a dishwasher, so that wouldn’t be much of a hardship, but he had better stakes in mind.

"How about best of three, winner chooses the prize?" He hadn’t intended for his voice to go husky, or for his legs to carry him close enough that their bodies almost brushed.

She took a step back and gave him the deer in the headlights look again, throat working as she swallowed hard.

"Is it going to be like this?" she asked, finally, running a hand through her hair. "Like, are you going to flirt with me all the time now, or just in private? I'm not trying to complicate things already, but I need to know.”

If he’d wanted her flustered, he’d succeeded, and it was almost enough to make him feel guilty.

Almost.

He closed the gap between them again, and she craned her neck to look up at him.

“Amalie already figured it out just by sniffing me.” She was breathless, and he could see the pulse in her neck beating wildly. “And it's not going to be long before the others know too, if we're not careful."

He backed away until he was out of range of the scent of her skin and picked up a pool cue, pretending to test it for weight while his thoughts raced.

So he'd been reading Amalie right. She knew. He expected to feel stressed by the knowledge, but as he poked around for some negative feelings on the subject, he found himself shrugging.

"Fuck it. I don't really care what they know. We're grown." Not to mention, with libidos as high as they were for weres, it was common to have sexual partners without there necessarily being a relationship present.

"And Ryan?" She eyed him warily and he set down the cue.

Her concerns on that front were valid and he nodded. "Okay, so we act like business as usual around the others, being extra careful around Ryan unless..." He trailed off, realizing what he'd been about to say and knowing he shouldn't say it.

Unless we take this to the next level.

Saying it would only muddy the waters. He'd made strides with getting past the devastation of losing Sara, but sharing his life with another woman? Having a true relationship? That was something he still couldn't wrap his head around yet, even with Chandra.

“Got it. Business as usual, especially around Ryan.” She held his gaze for a tense moment before snatching up a pool cue. “Let’s get this party started, shall we?”

***

“Can someone pass me the pumpernickel?”

Business as usual, her ass.

Chandra picked up the basked piled high with different types of breads and handed it to Liam across the table with a stiff smile.

Dinner was interminable. Every minute felt like twenty as their friends teased and joked and ate. Course after course of thick, hot clam chowder, ham and mashed potatoes, roasted lamb and orange-glazed duck. The procession of food seemed endless. She usually loved it—werewolves were a hungry bunch and thrived on the fellowship and camaraderie of sharing a meal—but tonight? Tonight, all she wanted to do was find out what punishment Jax planned on meting out.

He reached out to grab a buttered roll and his shoulder brushed her breast.

"Excuse me," he murmured. But as he retracted his hand, he brushed by her again, this time grazing her sensitive nipple.

She gasped as heat suffused her from head to toe. With a quick glance around, she confirmed that no one had noticed. They were busy chattering away about their day, the food and pack business. In fact, if it hadn't been for the tension pouring off Jax in waves, she might have thought it was an accident.

It was exactly that sexual energy that had thrown her pool game right into the shitter. Every time she’d tried to make a shot, she could feel his hot gaze on her and she could barely think straight, never mind shoot straight. He’d beat her handily, two games in a row. Now she was in gambler’s debt without any clue exactly what she owed him.

A vision of the two of them in the deep tub in Jax's bathroom burrowed its way into her mind. Him behind her, propped up against the white porcelain, her lying back against him, gripping the edges of the tub as he cupped her breasts, toying with her nipples.

She shoveled a fork-load of potatoes into her mouth to keep from groaning. He’d been using their wolfy connection to send mini-porno flicks starring the two of them to her mind for the past twenty minutes, and they were fucking with her head big time. She pushed back, sending him a vision of her dumping an entire roasted duck into his lap and a bowl of corn onto his head.

He let out a crack of laughter and everyone paused mid-conversation and looked his way.

"What's so funny?" Liam asked, brows raised quizzically.

Jax's grin didn't waiver. "Chandra just told me a joke." He went on to share some random anecdote with the pack, giving her a much-needed moment to get a grip.

If this was how friends with benefits went, where every interaction they had was laced with sexual tension making it impossible to be in a room together and behave normally, she was in for some trouble. If she hadn’t been in love with him before, their soul-searing connection that morning had all but sealed the deal for her, and every moment they spent together with him treating her the way a lover would only set the hook deeper.

She hadn’t wanted to tell him how she really felt, knowing it could very well scare him away altogether, but she was realizing more and more that she wasn’t cut out for this. If he was sure he didn’t have the capacity to ever love again, she needed to step back and reconsider this decision no matter how much it killed her.

She vowed to talk to him about that ASAP—she shifted restlessly in her seat—or after they had sex one more time, at least. Although, if he kept up these antics, they'd both be done before they even got through dinner.

For another half hour, they played their parts, but every time she got too comfortable, Jax was there, using his dirty thoughts to throw her off balance. By the time the dessert dishes were cleared, she was a hot, trembling mess.