Awakening: Montana Wolves, Book 2 (3 page)

Jax was still feeling a little bleary, but he couldn’t help noticing the sudden change in Chandra. She’d been the same way last night. One minute she was furious at him; the next she was comforting him in her arms.

He recalled the way she’d felt and shifted restlessly under his sheets, hoping to hide his immediate and evident reaction to her. Even now, hair up and in her running clothes, she looked superhot. Her hoodie was unzipped, and a sliver of sleek stomach was visible. Her creamy breasts, high and firm, pressed subtly against her sports tank. They were perfectly proportioned to her sturdy, toned frame. She couldn’t be more different from the more flamboyantly built Amber.

Then he thought of Sara’s willowy frame, her almost ethereal loveliness, and he realized why he had chosen Amber as a candidate to help him ease back into real life. She was the polar opposite of Sara. Maybe, deep down, he wanted to make sure he couldn’t mix them up in his mind; that he didn’t sully Sara’s memory somehow by trying to replace her with a replica. It had been an error on his part. If he truly thought about what Sara would have wanted for him, he would have found someone who gave him some peace and some happiness.

He might not be ready to move on completely, but if he was going to do this—and he was; abstaining was no longer an option—he wanted to do it right, in a way that would add something positive to his life. Drunken grappling with a stranger wasn’t going to cut it.

Fun, sexy times with a friend. Shared satisfaction. Someone who got him, understood his emotional limitations and who would still want to be friends after.

What he needed was Chandra.

Chandra shifted under the weight of Jax’s stare and cleared her throat as she turned away. He’d been quiet for so long, it was starting to freak her out.

“Well, if you don’t feel like talking, I’m going to go get some exercise.” As she moved toward the door, he halted her with a hand on her wrist.

He put the coffee down on his bedside table in a slow, deliberate manner. “Why don’t you wait a minute and I’ll come with you?”

She swallowed hard, pulse pounding, wondering at her reaction to such an innocuous question. “Sure,” she said, trying to keep her voice light. “But hurry up, because I’m going now.”

“Not a problem,” he replied with a wicked grin.

He released her, slid to the opposite side of the bed and jumped to his feet, totally nude. He walked over to a hamper, then grabbed a pair of sweatpants off the top of the pile.  His back to her, he bent low and slid the pants on, sans underwear, mercifully covering his distractingly naked bottom. Her heart banged against her ribs and she resisted the urge to reach for him…to yank those pants back down and get a look at him from the front.

He glanced over his shoulder. “Well?  What are you waiting for?” he asked, brows raised, before jogging out the door.

Chandra stood rooted to the floor for a moment, unsure of how to react. She had never seen him totally naked, and was still completely flustered by his nonchalance. God, his back was gorgeous though. Tan, lean muscles trailing down to a firm ass that begged to be squeezed…

Whatever.
If it didn’t bother him, it didn’t bother her, and she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of mentioning it.

She bounded down the steps to catch up to him and they met in the foyer.

“You going to get sneakers?” she asked, glancing at his bare feet.

“Nah,” he replied. “If we’re going to run, let’s run.”

So they would run as wolves.
  No wonder he had put on those ratty old sweats
, she thought. Made the lack of underwear seem a lot more sensible now. She looked regretfully down at her cute little Nike workout clothes and gave them a mental kiss good-bye. Wouldn’t be the first, or the last, outfit she had ruined.

He took off out the door in a sprint, heading straight for the trees. She followed close behind. The air was crisp, and near freezing, but were-blood ran hot and it felt good on her too-warm cheeks.

Surrounding the house was a square mile of thick woods. It was private property that belonged to the pack and was fenced around the perimeter. With a state-of-the-art security system complete with cameras at all entrances and exits of the property—they didn’t record within the compound, having their activities committed to film would be too dangerous—it was one of the few places they were basically free to roam without fear of being seen. Werewolves typically marked fifty miles or more for hunting territory, so it was useless in that regard, but they were able to take advantage of the relatively large grounds for exercise and training.

Once she and Jax hit the woods, he wasted no time, leaping high in the air and exploding into wolf form. His sweats practically disintegrated around him, leaving behind a glorious tawny colored wolf, so large and powerful, she couldn’t help but marvel at his beauty.

“Showoff!” she shouted.

Despite her teasing, her blood sang as she looked on.  She loved to watch him shift. He did it like that every time, with absolute abandon, as if he couldn’t wait to get out of his skin. It was one of the rare times she saw a glimmer of the old Jax, crackling with life and power as he had before Sara died.

Chandra ran to join him, full speed, and threw off her hoodie. She could feel her muscles lengthen and her bones shift into place as she leaped. She landed gracefully on the ground as a wolf and, without missing a step, tore after him.

They ran together, chasing one another, nipping and playing, for the better part of an hour. By the time they stopped at the icy stream for a drink of water, they were both breathless and panting, but her heart was so full, she felt like she could burst.

Why couldn’t she feel this exact way about someone else? Someone who wanted her. Someone who wasn’t so tortured by the past that they couldn’t see to the future.

She took another long drink, letting the cold water run down her parched throat. It was going to be fine. She’d get over this feeling soon enough, and maybe someday, she’d find a male who loved her the way Jax had loved Sara.

Almost as if she’d called to him, Jax’s mind touched hers, asking if she was ready to change back now. She barked out a mental chuckle for his benefit. As a general rule, they always stayed in wolf form until they returned to the homestead. There was a barn out back they’d fitted with hot showers and clean clothes so that, in the event a hunt got bloody, they’d be able to clean up before heading inside. It also allowed them some measure of modesty, rather than everyone strolling around naked as they moved between human and wolf form.

He was obviously yanking her chain, suggesting she shift back with him standing right there. Talk about awkward.

She sent him a mental eye roll paired with an “as if” snort and turned, loping back toward the house, his mocking laughter ringing in her head. He lagged behind and she beat him to the barn, pressing the button that opened the door with her nose. It swung wide, and she padded across the room, stepping into one of the shower stalls. Jax chose the stall directly next to hers.

Doing her best to ignore him, she let her limbs go loose and willed herself to let the human in her take center stage. A moment later, the change was complete and she stood, naked in the narrow space.

The wall between them came only to shoulder height, and she peeked out of the corner of her eye to see how much or how little of Jax was visible from her angle. Broad shoulders only, fortunately. The last thing she needed was more temptation. Already her hands itched with the need to touch him.

Like Amber had last night…

She barely managed to swallow the instinctive growl rising in her throat. “You must be exhausted now after all the late night activity, and then running around on almost no sleep there, Loverboy.”

Her cheeks burned as she realized what a prig she sounded like. To his credit, Jax only laughed. She refused to meet his gaze as she turned on the hot spray with a jerk, and he followed suit.

“Actually, I’m not tired at all,” he said, after leaning in to wet his hair. “In fact, I feel totally refreshed. That run was exactly what I needed to clear my head.”

She let the water run over her face, over her tired eyes and down her cheeks, her emotions growing more riotous by the second. The fact that he felt totally refreshed and she felt like she was going to burst with pent up frustration and confusion was too much to bear. The scales finally tipped as the need to know edged out her need to avoid further humiliation.

She swiped the water from her eyes and faced him head on, pulse hammering.

“Why her, Jax? What does she have that-” she broke off and shoved a lock of hair from her face with a trembling hand. “Why bring her to the house? Help me understand.”

He met her gaze and she searched his for answers in his fathomless brown eyes.

“Why her?” He shrugged and let out a bitter laugh. “Honestly? Because I thought I needed somebody I could never actually care about. And why bring her home? I don’t know. Maybe so someone would try to stop me—”

“I tried!” she cut in vehemently. No frigging way was he laying this on her. “You would not be stopped.”

“I didn’t do it, Chan.” He blew out a sigh and shook his head. “I couldn’t do it. I went back to the room and was going to send her home, but it was late, and she asked if she could stay. She was almost passed out, it was the middle of the night, and I felt like a heel for leading her on anyway, so I said okay. But I slept on the sofa. I called her a cab this morning and then got in my bed when she left. The end. I don’t plan on seeing her ever again.”

She almost passed out with relief. He wasn’t hers, but at least he wasn’t anyone else’s either. She could live with that. A little more time and she would get over him. She was just glad she didn’t have to do it while he paraded another woman around the house.

The steam rose around them as he moved closer to the shared wall of the shower. “Now that we have that out of the way, I wanted to talk to you about something.” His face was as serious as a heart attack. “Something important.”

“Oh?” The relief she’d felt a moment before curdled in her belly and she steeled herself for an emotional blow.

“See, Chan, I have a problem,” he continued, his voice husky. “I haven’t been with anyone since Sara died.”

He paused, as if to let that sit, and she tried to wrap her mind around it. A year was a long time for a man and would have felt seven times longer than that for a wolf. Not acting out sexually for that length of time must have been agonizing for him.

“I can’t go on like this. Hell, I can’t even function. But I’m not the type of guy to go around having sex with random women.” The gaze he’d locked on her went hot and her stomach bottomed out. “So I’ve been thinking. We’re both werewolves and in need of companionship. I know you haven’t been with anyone since you came to Pray. That’s a long enough dry spell that it can’t be comfortable. I don’t know how you feel about me
,
but I care about you a lot, and I also think you’re drop-dead sexy. If you’re game, I’d like to see if we can’t…help each other out a little.”

She opened her mouth to reply, a thousand emotions crowding in at once, fighting for supremacy, but he held up a hand.

“Wait. Let me finish. If we aren’t happy with the situation and either of us wants to back out or stop, or if you find one you want as your mate, then it ends and we remain friends.”

Her pulse pounded as she stared at his beautiful, solemn face. He was dead fucking serious.

Her world tilted on its axis.

“Before you answer, I want you to know one thing.” He looked at her hard, his eyes burning with need. “If you give me the chance, I swear I’ll make it good for you. What do you say?”

Chandra swallowed hard and actually began to shake. He was right about one thing: it had been a long time for her. He didn’t even know how long. His words alone had her body ready.

She didn’t mull it over or even give herself a chance to come up with the dozens of good reasons not to do it. Her instincts were telling her to take him however she could get him for however long he would have her, and a smart wolf never ignored her instincts.

She reached her hand out and slowly turned the shower off.

Jax’s gut clenched as Chandra turned the water off in total silence.

Shit
.

She was so offended, she wasn’t even going to dignify his question with an answer. He’d really screwed that up. Things would be weird between them now, and he felt strangely bereft at the thought.

Her stall door closed with a click and he bent his head under the hot spray, forcing himself not to embarrass her further by watching her walk away. A second later, his own door opened and he started in surprise.

As he pulled his head from under the spray and wiped at his face, Chandra stepped in and shut the door behind her.

“I thought…”

His voice trailed off as she leaned up on her tiptoes to nip lightly at his chin. She moved her lips down the line of his jaw, then to the pulse that was pounding in his neck. She bit down hard and touched his mind with hers. He gasped as carnal images, her fantasies, assailed him.

Chandra, on her knees before him, holding him captive with her hand, sucking and licking him. Chandra on her back, legs wrapped around his waist and him sliding in and out of her pussy. Chandra straddling him, rocking on top of him, her wild hair flying.

His blood thrummed, and he groaned. “Oh, this is going to be so good, Chan. So damn good.”

He gently pushed her away from him, then grasped both her wrists in his hand and held them above her head. He leaned into her, moving her hard against the shower wall, and pressed his hips and chest to hers. She moaned and arched her back, straining to get closer to him as he rotated his hips and ground against her. What a beauty. A red wolf with moss green eyes, she was strong and quick and as fine a wolf as she was a woman.

She began to pant, rocking against him, begging him, “Come on, Jax.”

He continued, sliding his wet hand down her neck, over her straining breasts but skimming past her nipples. Down her belly and between her thighs. He cupped her pussy and gave a firm squeeze, and she writhed against his hand.

She struggled harder against his wrist and whispered, “I want to touch you,”

He shook his head. Not to be denied, she looked at him and struggled in earnest now, pushing herself and him away from the wall with a mighty shove of her hips. He relished her strength as she made it difficult to hold her. He removed his hand from between her legs, reached around her back, and gave her a light slap on the ass. She stilled as he squeezed there and anchored her more fully against him once more.

“Again.  Harder,” she demanded. He growled low in his throat and again slapped her firmly. She gasped and arched her hips, tilting them forward and back against his surging cock.

He closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head to clear it, then bent and sucked her raspberry nipple into his mouth. As he flicked it with his tongue and bit down gently, he felt her whole body tighten.

Jesus, she was going to come just like this.

They hadn’t even kissed yet and already he couldn’t figure out how he was going to stop himself from joining her. In that moment he didn’t care. He wanted to watch her as she peaked for him.

Chandra’s body stiffened like it was being held up by a wire that was about to snap. All of Jax’s senses shimmered as he focused on the heat of the spray, the feel of her hard nipple against his tongue, and his swollen cock pulsing against her. He delivered another stinging slap to her ass and sucked hard, grinding against her, as the pleasure-pain sent her over the edge.

She gasped, then chanted in a low voice, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Jax pulled away so he could watch her at the end. Her head tossed back, eyes closed, she bit her lip hard, water sluicing down her face, neck, and breasts. He’d never seen anything so hot in his life. She was his equal in every sense. He didn’t need to check himself or be afraid of hurting or scaring her with his strength. She was a warrior like him, and this was a dance, a tease, and a battle of wills as much as it was lovemaking. It was a new experience for him, and he relished the freedom.

As she began to quiet in his arms, he lifted her easily by the hips. She followed his lead, wrapping her long, muscular legs around his waist, pressing her moist, hot core directly over his rock-hard erection.

“Are we safe?” he choked out, praying she said yes. They weren’t susceptible to diseases, and female weres only came into their fertile time once every three months, so odds were good they were in the clear, but when she nodded, he wanted to pass out from the relief.

She looked him straight in the eyes as she reached between them, took him firmly in her hand, and guided his swollen tip into her tight heat. His breathing grew shallow, and he strained to keep from thrusting too hard too soon. Then she reached out and grabbed his hair in her fist, pulling his mouth to hers in a hot, open mouth kiss. She pulled back slightly and traced his lips with her tongue before sucking his lower lip into her mouth.

Unable to hold back any longer, he squeezed her hips tight and slid himself further into her, inch by agonizing inch until he filled her. The sultry steam that enveloped them felt almost cool compared to the molten heat of her. He began to move in long, deep strokes, thinking each one would be the last as his body demanded release.

Urged on by the sounds of pleasure pouring from her mouth into his, he thrust harder, faster. Her consciousness brushed his as her body tensed, and she climaxed again. Liquid desire, hers and his, poured through him, a sensual elixir. He flexed deep, seating himself to the hilt as her inner muscles pulsed around him squeezing like an unseen fist.

“Damn it, Chan, you’re killing me.”

The heat and pressure coiled low in his loins and then it was over. He was coming hard, his cock jerking deep inside her as he groaned.

His breathing slowed, and he released her hips, sliding out of her. She let out a soft gasp and it took all of his concentration not to slide back into her and start all over again.

He set her feet on the floor and met her gaze. She wore a lazy, satisfied smile, and he was glad she didn’t seem to have any second thoughts.

He pressed his forehead against hers and said, “That wasn’t too bad, now was it?”

She laughed. “No, I guess it was okay for a first time. Clearly we’ll need some practice though.  There’s always room for improvement.”

“If we improve on that, I’m pretty sure it’ll kill me,” he said solemnly. “Seriously, Chan, that was amazing. I feel so much lighter, like a dark cloud and all the tension was lifted away. Thank you.”

Regret filled him as he realized what time it was. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her now, but he had to go. He kissed her lightly on the mouth. “I hate to do this, but I’m scheduled to pick Ryan up from Niles’ house in a half hour.”

“No problem,” she replied with a quick smile. “I’ll see you later on.” She walked out of the shower stall, head held high, and grabbed a towel from the rack beside her, seemingly unconcerned about her nakedness, which had him hard as steel all over again.

He watched, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as she dried off quickly and threw on some jeans and a sweater.

“Will you be home for dinner?” he asked, before he could think better of it. That was a question a mate would ask, not a friend, and he wondered if she’d call him on it.

“As far as I know,” she said slowly, meeting his gaze. “Why?”

Why, indeed?

“The chef is making lamb tonight. I know you like it, so I was just wondering.” He tried to sound nonchalant, but wanted to kick himself for making things awkward between them already. He was going to have to work on his post-sex banter if he had any hope of making this a regular thing. And, damn, did he want this to be a regular thing.

Chandra chewed her bottom lip and shuffled from foot to foot in silence for a moment before answering. “Lamb sounds good. I’ll…uh, see you then.” Pink-cheeked, she waved in his general direction and then spun around and rushed out of the barn like someone was chasing her.

He was still cursing himself when he climbed into his car a few minutes later. The key to this whole kingdom was going to be making sure their friendship didn’t suffer. The second that started to happen, they’d need to re-evaluate, and frankly, he didn’t want to re-evaluate.

He wanted it all.

His cake while he ate it. Searingly hot sex with Chandra whenever they chose, and their fun, teasing closeness the rest of the time. He’d considered asking her to go with him to get Ryan, wanting to prolong their time together, but what he really needed was some space from her. Away from her scent, and her voice, and those eyes that sucked him in.

Things between them had been even hotter than he’d expected. They’d fit together like a hand in a glove, and now thoughts were plaguing him that shouldn’t be. This was sex, flat out. A release of tension. Some good times between friends. He wasn’t ready for a relationship, that was for damned sure.

So then why did he miss her already?