Authors: Betsy Prioleau
86 Studies show that Americans: See John Tierney, “Carpe Diem? Maybe Tomorrow,”
New York Times
, December 29, 2009; and Lauren Sandler, “The American Nightmare,”
Psychology Today
, March/April 2011.
86 “I give women pleasure”:
Don Juan DeMarco
, direc. Jeremy Leven, New Line Cinema, American Zoetrope, and Outlaw Productions, 1995.
86 “I am large:” Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself,” in
Leaves of Grass
(Boston: Small, Maynard, 1904), sect. 51, 78.
86 “never wrong about such matters”: Steven Millhauser, “An Adventure of Don Juan,” in
The King in the Tree
(New York: Vintage Books, 2003), 79.
86 “man of many projects”: Ibid., 69.
87 “The lover”: Jean-Paul Sartre,
Being and Nothingness
, trans. Hazel E. Barnes (New York: Washington Square Press, 1966), 484, 485.
87 Actualized individuals: See W. Keith Campbell, Craig A. Foster, and Eli Finkle, “Does Self-Love Lead to Love for Others? A Story of Narcissistic Game Playing,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
83, no. 2 (2002), 343. These researchers note that “high self-esteem individuals [more actualized people] experience love more passionately than do individuals with low self-esteem.”
87 souls that are “overfull”: This is a paraphrase of Nietzsche from “Thus Spake Zarathustra”: “I love him whose soul is . . . overfull,” in
The Portable Nietzsche
, trans. Walter Kaufmann (New York: Penguin Books, 1968), 128.
87 women in surveys express a preference: See John Marshall Townsend,
What Women Want—What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1998), 150.
87 “authentically powerful”: Ethel S. Person,
Feeling Strong: The Achievement of Authentic Power
(New York: William Morrow/HarperCollins, 2002), xvii.
87 “He has five”: Quoted in Maureen Dowd, “The Carla Effect,”
New York Times
, June 22, 2008.
87 Ancestral women: Miller,
Mating Mind
, 211, 213. He explains this cerebral lure via an ornamental mind theory; see p. 153.
88 Dionysus was the lord: Otto,
Dionysus
, 49; and Carl Kerenyi,
Dionysus: Archetypal Image of Indestructible Life
(Bollingen Series vol. 65), trans. Ralph Manheim (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 176), xxxiv.
88 Grace, a poor girl: Alice Munro, “Passion,” in
Runaway
(New York: Vintage Books/Random House, 2004), 174, 168.
88 “There were so many layers”: Jennifer Crusie,
The Cinderella Deal
(New York: Bantam Books, 2010), 208.
88 Known as the “siren”: Georgina Masson,
Courtesans of the Italian Renaissance
(New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1975), 62.
89 “comparable to a gem”: Carl Jung,
Aspects of the Feminine
(Bollingen Series vol. 20), trans. R. F. C. Hull (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1983), 47.
89 Vibrant and brilliant: Walter Isaacson,
Benjamin Franklin: An American Life
(New York: Simon & Schuster, 2003), 2.
89 Franklin was: Claude-Anne Lopez, “Why He Was a Babe-Magnet,”
Time
, July 7, 2003, 64. Also see Isaacson,
Benjamin Franklin
, on the subject of his “sexual appetite” and womanizing, 72, 68–72.
90 “gaiety” and “gallantry”: Quoted in Isaacson,
Benjamin Franklin
, 362.
90 “capture her and keep her”: Quoted in Carl Van Doren,
Benjamin Franklin
(New York: Viking, 1938), 651.
90 “very bad”: Quoted in Sydney George Fisher,
The True Benjamin Franklin
(Philadelphia: Lippincott, 1899), 329.
90 “disgusted”: Quoted in ibid., 329.
91 “Character is power”: Booker T. Washington, from “Quotes on Character from Various Sources,” Character Above All, PBS, www.pbs.org/newshour/character/quotes/ (accessed February 2, 2012).
91 His “character”: Casanova,
History of My Life
, vol. 1, preface, 31, 32.
91 He freely admits: Ibid., vol. 9, chap. 4, p. 86, and vol. 1, preface, 30.
91 With his acute insight: Judith Summers,
Casanova’s Women: The Great Seducer and the Women He Loved
(New York: Bloomsbury, 2006), 2.
91 “sweet and affable”: Quoted in Vincent Cronin,
Catherine: Empress of All the Russias
(New York: William Morrow, 1978), 197.
91 “If you want”: Ovid,
Art of Love
, 133.
92 “You must not”: Quoted in Morton M. Hunt,
The Natural History of Love
(New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1959), 32.
92 “The man”: Ellis, “Art of Love,” 530–531.
92 “violence of the soul”: Solomon,
About Love
, 23.
93 “hot choosers”: Miller,
Mating Mind
, 149.
93 “Seduction is destiny”: Jean Baudrillard,
Seduction
, trans. Brian Singer (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1990), 180.
CHAPTER 3: LASSOING LOVE: THE SENSES
97 “Love is the poetry”: Honoré de Balzac,
The Physiology of Marriage: Petty Troubles of Married Life
, ed. J. Walker McSpadden (Philadelphia: Avil, 1901), 61.
98 “the physical part”: Quoted in Morton H. Hunt,
The Natural History of Love
(New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1959), 256. The entire quote is from the comte de Buffon: “There is nothing good in love but the physical part.”
99 “Appearances belong to”: Jean Baudrillard,
Seduction
, trans. Brian Singer (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1990), 10.
99 They voted him: See
Esquire
poll of 10,000 women; in “The
Esquire
Survey of the American Woman,”
Esquire
, May 2010, 77; and a poll that canvassed three dating websites: Date.com, Matchmaker.com, and Amor.com in 2009. See http://entertainmentrundown.com/8573/top-celebrities-people-would-have-sex-with-if-they-had-a-pass (accessed April 19, 2011).
99 Raves a fan: www.youtube.com/user/laudepp/26x-1/15/10.
99 “mysterious—always”: Quoted in Brian J. Robb,
Johnny Depp: A Modern Rebel
(London: Plexus, 2006), 196.
99 One costar, Missi Pyle: Quoted in “Johnny Depp, Sexiest Man Alive,”
People
, November 30, 2009, 80. Missi Pyle was his costar in
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
, and Leelee Sobieski, in the John Dillinger biopic
Public Enemies
.
99 “He was a”: Chuck Berry, “Brown Eyed Handsome Man,” Chess Records, 1956.
99 “disproportioned”: Quoted in Simon Sebag Montefiore,
Potemkin: Catherine the Great’s Imperial Partner
(New York: Vintage Books/Random House, 2000), 110.
100 Contrary to myth: See Jim Dryden’s research at Washington University Medical School: “Erotic Images Elicit Strong Response from the Brain,” Newsroom, Washington University in St. Louis, June 8, 2006, http://mednews.wustl.edu/tips/page/normal/7319.html.
100 Their vision is: Helen Fisher,
The First Sex: The Natural Talents of Women and How They Are Changing the World
(New York: Ballantine, 1999), 90. For the eye and cervix dilation study, see Diane Ackerman,
A Natural History of the Senses
(New York: Vintage/Random House, 1990), 271.
100 Hooked up to a lie detector: See study in Judy Dutton,
Secrets from the Sex Lab
(New York: Broadway Books, 2009), 35.
100 Handsome has curb: See ibid., 41, 34–35.
100 hero, instructs: Leslie Wainger,
Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies
(Hoboken, NJ: Wiley, 2004), 65; and Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan,
Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels
(New York: Fireside Books/Simon & Schuster, 2009), 83. They itemize the requirements of male beauty, 83–95.
100 “Women do look”: Nancy Friday,
My Secret Garden
(New York: Pocket Books, 1973), 214.
100 “The greatest provocations”: Robert Burton,
The Anatomy of Melancholy
, ed. Floyd Dell and Paul Jordan-Smith (New York: Tudor, 1927), 687.
100 If you take a non-looker: For two costume experiment studies, see John Marshall Townsend,
What Women Want—What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1998) 63 and 71.
100 Aware of women’s: Women in one study rated how someone smells as the most important of the senses. Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss,
Why Women Have Sex: Women Reveal the Truth about Their Sex Lives, from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between)
(New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2009), 5, 5–9.
101 Our Stone Age ancestors: Francois Boucher,
20,000 Years of Fashion
(New York: Harry N. Abrams, 1987), 22.
101 In most cultures: Geoffrey Miller,
The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature
(New York: Doubleday, 2000), 271.
101 She bathes him:
The Odyssey of Homer
, trans. E. V. Rieu (New York: Penguin, 1946), book 23, 345.
102 Decked in suits: Cliffe Howe,
Lovers and Libertines
(New York: Ace Books, 1958), 75.
102 His auburn curls: Benita Eisler,
Byron: Child of Passion, Fool of Fame
(New York: Vintage/Random House, 1999), 156.
102 “wild originality”: Claire Clairmont quoted in John Clubbe,
Byron, Sully, and the Power of Portraiture
(Burlington, VT: Ashgate, 2005), 33.
102 plain-featured man: Julius Caesar was “slightly built and pale” with a face that was “too full.” Adrian Goldsworth,
Caesar: Life of a Colossus
(New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2006), 61, 62.
102 “Romans, lock your wives”: Quoted in Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus,
The Twelve Caesars
, trans. Robert Graves (Harmondsworth, UK: Penguin, 1960), 31.
103 During her four years: For the extent of Cleopatra’s influence, see historian Michael Grant,
Cleopatra
(New York: Barnes and Noble, 1972), 88–91.
103 “rock cool threads”: Paul Janka, Pick Up Artist guru, television celebrity and author of
Attraction Formula
, email, “Affects of a ‘Rock Star Look,’ ” April 29, 2009, http://webmail.aol.com/42679/aol/en-us/mail/PrintMessage.aspx.
103
New York Times
clothing maven: “On the Street,” “Dash,” Sunday Styles,
New York Times
, February 2, 2010.
103 “flood of memories”: Nicholas Sparks,
The Notebook
(New York: Warner Books, 1996), 33.
104 “amorous space”: Roland Barthes,
A Lover’s Discourse: Fragments
, trans. Richard Howard (New York: Hill and Wang/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1978), 92.
104 “Passion”: Jeff Turrentine, “The Pull of Place,” review of Martha McPhee,
L’America, New York Times Book Review
, June 4, 2008, 8. The venues described refer to Herbert Beerbohm Tree’s office, Casanova’s assignation with Lucrezia on a stone bench in a garden maze, and Bob Evans’s party mansion in Hollywood, quoted in Edward Douglas,
Jack: The Great Seducer
(New York: HarperEntertainment/HarperCollins, 2004), 248.
104 Passionate love sweeps: A location can work psychoactive effects on the brain and move us at unimaginable depths. See especially Gaston Bachelard,
The Poetics of Space
, trans. Maria Jolas (Boston: Beacon Press, 1964), 6.
104 “domestic bliss” strategy: Richard Dawkins,
The Selfish Gene
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1989), 153.
104 they also looked for beauty: Miller,
Mating Mind
, 271.
104 embellishment of place: See Andrew Trees,
Decoding Love
(New York: Avery/Penguin, 2009), 10. Studies have shown how the spell of place can actually halo someone with sex appeal, 12.
104 Watson tells of a patient: Cynthia Mervis Watson,
Love Potions: A Guide to Aphrodisiacs and Sexual Pleasures
(New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Perigee, 1993), 19.
105 In 4000 BC Sumer: Arthur Evans,
The God of Ecstasy: Sex Roles and the Madness of Dionysos
(New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1988), 59.
105 the mythological Adonis and Psyche: Erich Neumann,
Amor and Psyche: The Psychic Development of the Feminine: A Commentary of the Tale by Apuleius
(Bollingen Series vol. 54), trans. Ralph Manheim (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1956), 9.
105 Eve beds Adam: John Milton,
Paradise Lost
, ed. Gordon Teskey (New York: W. W. Norton, 2005), book 4, lines 690, 693.
105 Emma Bovary: Gustave Flaubert,
Madame Bovary
, ed. Margaret Cohen and trans. Eleanor Marx Aveling and Paul de Man (New York: W. W. Norton, 2005), 208.
105 “Why was it”: Patricia Gaffney,
To Love and To Cherish
(New York: New American Library, 1995), 215.
105 “born interior decorator”: Philippe Jullian,
D’Annunzio
, trans. Stephen Hardman (New York: Viking, 1972), 63.
105 “love was nothing”: Gabriele D’Annunzio,
The Child of Pleasure
, trans. Georgina Harding (Boston: Page, 1898), 193.
105 When asked why: Tom Antongini,
D’Annunzio
(Boston: Little, Brown, 1938), 71.
105 “excitation transfer”: Dutton,
Secrets from the Sex Lab
, 46.
106 “from this earth”: Quoted in Jullian,
D’Annunzio
, 243.
106 “alive and still”: D. H. Lawrence,
Lady Chatterley’s Lover and A Propos of “Lady Chatterley’s Lover
,” ed. Michael Squires (1928; New York: Penguin 2006), 166.
106 “ever wanted to let him go”: Meryle Secrest,
Frank Lloyd Wright: A Biography
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1992), 314.
106 In his pioneering structures: Nancy Horan,
Loving Frank
(New York: Ballantine Books, 2007) 4.