Babies for Nikki (2 page)

She knew she would never have children of her own to love. It had been drummed into her head since she had been a teenager by her parents that she was not good enough to have children, and her ex-husband had made it very clear to her nearly every day of their marriage that he had felt the same way.

He had taken great care to ensure that there would be no babies. The house that they had purchased had been big enough to accommodate a large family. Her ex had blatantly disregarded her desire for children, and she had soon come to accept that she was not meant to have babies. The fact that Nikki had provided the money for the purchase thanks to the money her grandfather had left her in a trust fund was also conveniently ignored.

Her ex had told her that she would be a terrible mother, and she had been conditioned to believe him over the years. It was only when they had divorced and he had insisted that he receive the house in the divorce settlement, as well as a good chunk of her savings, that she realized that their marriage had been a sham. It had been based on his need of her money to support him while he finished college and then provide him with a comfortable lifestyle, including the house and the car he wanted. He had also walked away with an extraordinary amount of her money that ended up being a sizeable cushion for his future.

It had been a hard lesson learned, but she had learned it well. Nikki sniffled indelicately and rubbed at her eyes angrily to push aside her tears.

Thank goodness for her grandfather. He had made sure she would never have to worry about taking care of herself financially. He had been a very wise man who had made sure that most of the money he had set aside for his only grandchild was untouchable by any spouse. His shrewd business sense had protected her so that she had complete control of the trust fund he had set up for her. Her Gramps had insisted that any man who might ask Nikki to marry her would sign an ironclad pre-nuptial agreement or the wedding would not take place.

Nikki had plenty of money to live comfortably and without worry. What her ex didn’t know, and she had no reason to enlighten him, was that the bulk of her trust would be turned over to her on her thirty-fifth birthday. And that was right around the corner.

She didn’t need to work to support herself, able to live very comfortably off the interest of the trust fund for the rest of her life. The money she had to hand over to her ex-husband barely made a dent in the portfolio that her grandfather had put together for her.

Losing the house to her ex hadn’t hurt her as much as she thought it would have. The house really left her with more bad memories than good, and she was secretly glad she would never be reminded of what was never meant to be whenever she saw the empty bedrooms that would never be filled with children.

She knew realistically that her money had been the reason she had been used, but over the years her mother’s constant badgering that she was not marriage material had lodged deep in her heart. She fought with herself daily to keep her spirits up. It was hard, though, when she was constantly reminded that there was something wrong with her.

She laughed despite her depression. Here she was sitting inside her dark closet, leaning against soft blankets so she would feel surrounded by gentleness. Of course there was something wrong with her! It was called loneliness.

Growing up, her mother had constantly reminded her that she was nothing until she had a boyfriend, and then a husband. Nikki remembered the hateful words that had been spoken to her when her mother saw any man come to pick her up for a date. She had been told to thank her lucky stars that someone actually wanted to go out with her.

It wasn’t that Nikki was not a nice looking woman. She was beautiful in fact. Her silky, black hair was styled in layers that brushed her shoulders, and her blue eyes were so light they were striking. Having slightly almond shaped eyes and a heart shaped face added to her unique beauty. Laurie had often told her that she was stunning, but she knew her best friend was her biggest supporter and told her what she needed to hear. Bless her heart.

Standing five feet seven inches tall, she always felt so much bigger than the rest of her peers. Truthfully, it was her figure and not her height that made her feel that way. While other girls had been slim with cute figures, Nikki’s figure was considered lush, with full curves and breasts. She was also athletic in school and was more muscular than most women. She hated the way that made people treat her. While other girls had doors held open for them and were offered help carrying items, Nikki was treated as one of the guys. She remembered one particular instance when a customer at a retail store she had been working at told her to grab one end of a couch he was purchasing to help him lift it onto his truck. She ended up helping him, and had felt like a moose while doing it. She was embarrassed beyond tears.

What upset her more than anything else was the fact that none of the other employees or customers thought there was anything wrong with the man’s request. She may have been strong, but she was still a woman. A woman that others didn’t think to treat with any kind of respect or tenderness.

No one saw her as a woman. They saw her as a friend, a hard worker, a strong person, the person who helped everyone, and the person who made everyone laugh—but not a woman.

Most days, that treatment was okay. She worked, she helped, and she led her life without complaint. But sometimes the loneliness got to be too much. Her desire to be loved and touched sometimes overwhelmed her to such a degree that she had to hide away in her closet, cuddled against the soft blankets that were a poor substitute for the comforting embrace that she longed for. When her loneliness was too bad, she retreated into the small space to cocoon herself away, cry for a while, and give in to the total despair that engulfed her.

She always bounced back, put on a smile, and headed back out into the real world. But it was becoming increasingly difficult to live a life where she was so isolated from the love that everyone around her took for granted. How much more could she take? To be honest with herself, she knew she couldn’t take it much longer. Her sense of humor that entertained everyone else was becoming more and more difficult to maintain. She was just so tired of it all.

Nikki tucked herself against the stack of blankets, hiccupping slightly as her tears started to abate. She closed her eyes and tried to take even breaths to calm herself. She only had two hours before she had to get to the hospital. She was working a double shift tonight, and she had to pull herself together. Her coworkers expected her to be an efficient and competent nurse as well as their source of encouragement and humor. She was usually able to be their entertainment and their cheerleader, but it was growing old. She couldn’t do it for much longer.

Tears slowed, her breathing evened out, and a deep sadness consumed her. Closing her eyes, she pulled deeper inside herself, hugging her arms around her waist as she pushed herself back against the closet wall. She knew she had only a few more minutes to allow herself the luxury of giving in to her despair. She had to get ready for work. Once again, life would go on.

* * * *

“Hey, Laurie!” Nikki answered her cell phone when she saw her best friend’s name and number come up on the screen. “How are you?”

Laurie’s laughter greeted her. “I’m good, Nikki. How are you?”

“Same old, same old,” Nikki answered, not wanting to bring Laurie’s obvious good mood to a screeching halt with anything negative.

There was a hesitation on the other end, and Nikki knew she wasn’t completely successful in trying to fool Laurie. “My friend Julia and I are going shopping today to buy some lingerie. Can you meet us?”

“Lingerie! Ooooh, that sounds interesting,” Nikki teased. “What do you need to tell me?”

Nikki heard Laurie clear her throat nervously. “I’ve met some wonderful men,” she said quietly.

“Men?” Nikki questioned quickly, laughing. At the silence that met her comment she grew worried. “Are you serious, Laurie?”

The dead air made her check her phone to make sure she hadn’t lost the connection. Seeing that Laurie’s number was still displayed, she replaced the phone to her ear.

“Laurie, honey,” she said softly. “You know you can tell me anything. Whatever is going on, I’ll support you. You know that. I just want you to be happy.”

“I know, Nikki,” Laurie whispered, her voice finally answering across the connection.

* * * *

Two hours later, Nikki pulled up to the local mall. Her head was swimming with the information Laurie had given her. Triad mates, fated mates, mates. What the hell was going on? Was Laurie losing her mind? Had her years of loneliness and abuse finally taken its toll on her? If that’s what was happening, then she knew she wasn’t far behind Laurie in her emotional meltdown.

Parking quickly, she reached for her purse, got out of the car, and slammed the door shut behind her. She ran a hand nervously over the form-fitting black jeans and the red baby-doll shirt that accentuated her full curves, questioning for a moment her clothing choice. She definitely needed help in the self-confidence department today. With determined strides and a mental shake of her head, she headed into the mall and made her way to the exclusive lingerie store where Laurie said she would meet her.

As she neared the store, she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face as she spotted Laurie. She saw a young pregnant woman dressed in a soft pink maternity dress standing next to her friend. The young woman looked adorable, her soft brown hair pulled up into a ponytail, her golden brown eyes shining with care and concern as she looked at Laurie. Nikki couldn’t help the flash of pain that ripped through her at the sight of the pregnant woman. Pushing aside her own sorrow, she strode toward her best friend and embraced her tightly.

“Hey, Laurie,” she whispered, hugging her fiercely.

Laurie laughed and hugged her back just as tightly. “Hey, Nikki,” she whispered. “I’m so glad you could meet us.” She stepped back slightly, never letting go of Nikki as she turned to face the young woman beside her. “Julia, this is my best friend Nikki.”

Julia reached out and offered her hand in greeting. “Nice to meet you, Nikki,” the adorable brunette told her.

Nikki liked her immediately. Julia’s kindness was evident in her genuine acceptance of Nikki’s friendship. Ignoring Julia’s hand, Nikki reached out and took her into her arms for a quick hug.

“I’m a hugger, Julia,” she explained, laughing. “Get used to it.”

The deep growls coming from the two hulking men who seemed to materialize out of nowhere to stand beside Laurie and Julia made Nikki look up in surprise. She was shocked to see two gorgeous men wearing black cowboy hats, well-worn jeans, and black T-shirts that showed off every bulging muscle on their upper bodies. They were looking down at her with an expression she had never seen in her life. Raw desire.

For me? No way. It couldn’t be.

“Introduce me to your men,” Nikki told Laurie, stepping back to look up at two of the most beautiful specimens of manhood she had ever seen. They both stood over six feet tall, six feet four, she would estimate. They were the same in that they were both heavily muscled and screamed strength, but they were the exact opposite in coloring. One had dark hair, midnight black, and unique silver gray eyes, while the other had hair so light blond it was nearly white, and his eyes were a crystal blue that was breathtaking. Both of them had hair to their shoulders, and Nikki found herself wanting to reach out and run her hands through the thick silkiness and wrap her hands around the length. And they both smelled heavenly. Taking in a deep breath, she couldn’t believe the sense of calm that filled her at that moment. She had to pull herself together. She had no right to be so attracted to Laurie’s mates.

“These aren’t my men,” Laurie interrupted her. “This is Alexander, and this is Butler,” she introduced the two hunks. “Jace and Jackson asked them to take us to the store and make sure we were safe.”

Laurie’s explanation was hesitant, but Nikki didn’t catch on. She was too busy being relieved that she wasn’t lusting after her best friend’s mates. The dark-haired one named Alexander reached out and took Nikki’s hand in his, bringing it toward his body and holding it tightly against his chest. She was immediately surrounded by a sense of peace as his large hand swallowed hers.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Nikki,” he said softly, his deep voice vibrating straight through Nikki’s chest as he smiled down at her.

“I’m also very pleased to meet you, Nikki,” the blond god named Butler told her, taking her other hand in his and bringing it gently toward his chest to place it lightly against his heart.

“Nice to meet you,” Nikki told them quietly, unable to look away from either man. She blushed lightly when she realized that both men still held her hands against their bodies. She could feel their hearts beating beneath her palms and felt herself becoming aroused as their chests rumbled with what she could only describe as a contented purring.
Purring? Really?
Well, it certainly felt like the soft contented rumbles one would feel from an animal as it was being petted.

Nikki carefully pulled her hands from theirs and took a step back. She was more than confused. She couldn’t allow her active imagination to convince her that they could possibly be attracted to her. She knew better than to let her fantasy world invade the reality that was her life. These ruggedly handsome men would never give her the time of day unless they needed her help if they were injured, or if they needed money. The jaded thought crossed her mind immediately, and she smiled sadly as she realized that it was probably the truth.