Baby (Black Rebel Riders' MC) (16 page)

"So what now I am your therapist and your keeper. Classic."

Baby

It's been two weeks since everything went to hell in a hand basket. Romeo hasn't provided me with any answers and the cops finally left me alone after they searched my phone and weren't able to link Lucky to me, or I guess I should say agent Kyle Wheeler. Guess I now know why he never pressed me to sleep with him, he was way too old for me, he was nearly thirty years old, but he sure didn't look it or act it.

I still can't believe Trouble was able to be so mean to me that was some fine acting skills he has. He keeps trying to make it up to me. I am over it. I understand why he did it, but I like watching him sweat, it's cute.

I still have no idea if Grim is my father or not. He said it doesn't make me any less his daughter than I was before. Sunshine says we could do a DNA test if it would make me feel better, but Grim refuses he says he knows in his heart I am his daughter and no man or test will ever tell him any different. He said, "Does knowing there is a chance make you any less my daughter than you were yesterday."

I told him no and he said well that's all he needed to hear and that was that, but I can't shake the feeling that I am Rush's daughter and that he is somewhere out there waiting to strike. They didn't find his body when they did a sweep of the filling station.

I swear my mother's past comes back to haunt Grim at every turn. They still don't know that I am pregnant. Morning sickness has taken over. I am not going to be able to hide it forever. You would never know by looking at me that I am with child. My stomach has a small curve to it but nothing major.

I have an appointment today with a local OBGYN to find out how far along I am with the pregnancy. If I were to say Lucky was the father, it would open up one big ass assortment of problems that I don't want to face.  I know I should tell Striker but I can't no matter how much he hurt me, I won't let Grim kill him and he would kill him if he didn't do right by me and hell he might kill him either way. Striker has made it painfully obvious that he has no intentions of ever calling me.

The doctor confirms that I am indeed around two months along. He gave me a prescription of prenatals, and another for Zofran to help with the morning sickness. Now that is official I suppose it is time to break the news to my father and Sunshine. I know they are going to be so disappointed. But I am going to practice by telling my sister first. She is coming home this weekend to visit and to get some more of her things she didn't take with her when she moved. The only problem is figuring out what to say when my father demands to know whom I created this child with.

**

"Baby, I hate to call last minute, but I am in a bit of a bind and I am in desperate need of a sitter. Romeo is out handling club business and I have an appointment for the baby that I just cannot miss and the kids' well you know how they are. Can you come over and watch them, just until Romeo gets home?" LL barely lets me get a word in I had forgotten that she was pregnant again.

"Sure, no problem. I am already in town if you want to meet me with them at the park. Then you or Romeo can meet me there to pick them up."

"That's perfect, you are a life saver."

I have missed Jamie and Dawn; it has been a while since I have spent any time with the little boogers. I hope Romeo comes to pick them up so that he can give me some answers so I can gain closure and try to put all of this behind me so I can focus on doing what is best for my baby.

The kids come running over to me and give me the biggest hugs, gushing about how much they have missed me. I take a seat on the park bench when I receive a text from Trouble asking where I am. I invite him to join the kids and me if he promises to bring us some ice cream. Poor guy isn't allowed to do shit right now until he is released from being under investigation. Therefore, he has been spending a lot of his time with me.

Trouble shows up bringing us all ice cream sandwiches. "Missing me already," I tease knowing he just seen me a few days ago.

"Always, you are my favorite girl." He winks at me and takes a seat by me enjoying his ice cream.

"Think I'll ever have that." I point to a family across the park having a picnic.

"Yeah, if you quit throwing yourself at losers." He nudges my shoulder and laughs.
Asshole
.

"You got any napkins?" He asks and without thinking, I tell him to check my purse. "Want to explain this," Trouble holds up a pamphlet for the do's and don'ts during pregnancy.

"That must be LL's it must have been stuck to the napkins she gave me for the kids, their allergies have been acting up. You know her and Romeo are expecting again." I brush him off with my quick thinking.  I leave him with my purse and go push Dawn on the swings.

Romeo eventually shows up and I send Trouble to get the kids from the jungle gym so I can pick his brain for a minute. "I wanted to tell you Lucky was the one who was messing with you, saying they know what you did. My friend at the station traced it to his phone." He reaches me my sim card.  I don't offer any explanation or thoughts on the matter. I already know what Lucky was up to. Romeo leaves with the kids and I ask Trouble to walk with me. I know what I am going to ask him might sound crazy but it is the solution to my problems.

"I lied to you earlier about that pamphlet in my purse."

"I know." He doesn't look the least bit surprised.

"How did you know?" I quirk my brow at him.

"When we were both in the hospital I snuck a peek at your chart. I was just waiting to see how long it would take you to tell me. So can I ask who the father is?"

"You are my best friend right?  So if I tell you that it doesn't matter and you are better off not knowing, can you trust me? Besides you owe me." I give him a pout.

"You know I trust you with my life." He takes my hand in his and he stares at me intensely, so much so that I can't breathe. I feel like he is about to kiss me and strangely I hope that he does. Where did that feeling come from. Trouble is my best friend.

"Would you do something for me, if it meant you may get an ass beating, but you get the pleasure of saving my ass once again and I will consider us even?"

"Baby, are you asking me to be the father of your child and risk Grim murdering my ass when we tell him." He is looking at me with a shit-eating grin that leads me to believe he is actually happy about this—that he has been thinking about this.

"No," I smirk with a hefty smile. "I am asking you to go to my father and tell him you want to claim me, and then when he gives you permission, we announce the baby. I know you don't love me in that way, but I know you'd be good to us and I would be willing to look the other way so you know, you could um have women on the side. It would work out perfectly, I get a husband and a father for my kid that I know Grim would approve of and you will get patched and it wouldn't hurt your chance of someday being VP or even president." I am rambling at this point hoping any of what I am saying is making sense.

"I'll do it on three conditions. One you tell me who the father is, two if we are going to do this you have to promise me that you will try to make things work between us and three you will let me do this my way. And is that what you think that I would be doing this to earn my patch, are you really so blind Baby. Can't you see, for me it's always been you?" Well that's unexpected. I figured he'd press me to know who, but that other condition is really throwing me for a loop. Could I love Trouble in that way? Am I willing to try? The answer is yes, for the good of my child. Besides I know Trouble will never do me wrong, he has always stood by my side.

"Okay, if I tell you, you have to swear to me that you will never bring it up again."  I poke him in the chest giving him my serious face.

"You have my word. But if you say Rebel, so help me I am going to kick his ass no questions asked." He grabs my hand and kisses it, as we start to walk back to my car.

"It's Striker." I pause waiting for his response.

"Well that makes total sense."

"Why?" I ask, what does he know that I don't. He doesn't explain and I don't pry. We have to get a move on for this to work. I cannot have Striker adding up the dates and figuring out the truth one day.

"So when do you want to do this?" Trouble closes my car door for me. He is leaning up against the car, I look at him, and I mean really look at him. I have never really looked at Trouble like he was a man I would be interested in dating, but he has matured a lot, he isn't that same skinny boy he was when we first met. He has grown into a tall muscular man, his brown hair is cropped short, his freckles have faded, and his tan has deepened. He really is quite handsome.

"Why, trying to figure up how much freedom you have left?"  I punch him in the arm and he winces.

"Easy killer, it's still sore. See I even took a bullet for ya and you still don't get it. But you will see. Want me to come by later?" He looks more I don't know...confident, it's like Trouble has turned into a man overnight. But I guess in my eyes he was still that skinny gangly dork who was always following me around.

"No," I gasp, "this weekend! I want to tell my sister first then we will talk to Grim."

"Whatever you say Baby. But you know what they say about broken hearts don't you?"

"No, what's that?"

"They always mend."

"And who told you that ole wise one?" I tease him.

"I heard it in a love song. So you know it can't be wrong." Of course he did, I laugh to myself. He walks away whistling a familiar tune. Okay he is still a dork, but he is my dork. I hope we aren't making a mistake and killing our friendship in the process. I don't think Trouble will let me down. And he loves me, I mean really loves me. I never thought he looked at me in that way. I guess looking back, I always knew. I just never wanted to risk losing him by exploring the possibility.

My phone vibrates with a text from Trouble.

Trouble: Stop over thinking it, just go with it. I'm going to make you so happy.

I wish I could stop thinking, but my mind will not shut off. I am sick, excited, worried. So many emotions and thoughts are flashing through my mind. God I hope this works. I feel renewed with hope and with Trouble by my side; I know I am somehow going to be okay. I will get over Striker. I will love Trouble the way he deserves if he can wait for me to heal my wounded heart.

**Chicago**

Rumor

"Do you really have to go to Drag Creek this weekend?" I am lying in my bed watching a movie with Rebel as he strokes my hair. He has been spending a lot of nights here with me. Aspen on the other hand has been spending her nights at her new job; she is the new kid on the block so she has been given the night shift, the grunt shift at the animal clinic she is working at. Her and Striker are still on the outs, I am not sure what all really happened between them. Aspen has been giving me the cold shoulder, I know it has something to do with Baby and Striker and this weekend I will find out what when I get to see my sister.

"Yes, I promised Baby and I still need to get the rest of my clothes and I am missing my books." He laughs at me. "I can't help it...it won't feel like home until all my pretty books are covering my room."

"You are a book nerd." He smiles at me and my heart skips a beat.

"I wish you could come with me. I bet your mom would like to see you and your brother."

"Yeah, I know Striker is itching to get back to Drag Creek and the garage, mom has a new man keeping her company. Found herself a truck driver goes by the nickname Cowboy. She has been wanting to introduce me. But maybe while you are there you and Baby could pay her a visit. And you could bring me back some of her cookin'."

"Ah, the truth comes out; you just want me to bring you some real food, momma's boy." I badger him.

"No shame in it is there, I am a momma's boy proud of it."

"And you call yourself a biker." I taunt and he holds me down and tickles me, knowing I will about pee my pants.

"Okay, I surrender," I laugh. "You are the meanest momma's boy I have ever met."

"That's more like it, "he kisses my neck, and he has this hungry look in his eyes, like he wants to devour every piece of me. I have been trying to loosen up and allow him to take things further, my body wants him but my mind is still a prisoner of my nightmares...of my past...that part of me still belongs to Squirrel, he stole that from me. When I first met Rebel I think he felt guilty because of the things his Uncle did it took a while but I was finally able to convince him that I did not hold him accountable for things he could have ever had an idea of. For all he knew growing up his Uncle was dead. How was he to know he was raping me states away.

Rebel continues kissing down my throat, he is holding himself up on his elbows and knees, and he is trying not to press any of his weight on me, because it seems to be a trigger for me. "You are driving me crazy, sweetheart." I know he needs more from me; he is a man after all. I decide to do this before I can back out of it. I have been wanting to try it, I have been scared though. I am so inexperienced when it comes to sex and relationships. All of those times Squirrel violated me, I was never an active participant. I would just lay there praying to die.

"I want to try something, but I have never done it before and if I'm not any good at it I apologize now."  I look away from him, I don't know why this so embarrassing. Rebel knows the most intimate things about me. He knows things I have never told another soul. But this is terrifying.