Baby (Black Rebel Riders' MC) (20 page)

"Let's go for a ride." He isn't demanding, he is expectant.

My chest is constricting as panic sets in, the name patch on the left breast of his cut, bears the name Rush. I swallow hard, trying to regain my breath, trying to find my voice as he cuffs me by my elbow and begins leading me to his motorcycle. "My roommate is expecting me, if I don't show she'll know something is wrong."

"I'm counting on it. However, if it will ease your mind, call her; tell her you are with Rebel Black. And don't try anything stupid."  Under his watch, I call
Aspen, but it is Striker whom answers her phone.

"Hey what's up," I try to sound casual, but my voice falters.

"Where are you," he asks and I find it odd. Rush grips my arm tighter urging me to get on with it.

"I'm with Rebel, why?"

"Someone broke into the apartment, Aspen has been shot." I nearly drop the phone, as what little air I regained leaves me.

"We'll be right there." I lie ending the call trying to gain enough composure to climb on the back of this monsters bike.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask as he pulls onto the busy street.

"All in due time, Sarah." The way my name rolls off of his tongue, makes my stomach drop.

"Please, don't call me that."

"Why, it was your grandmother's name, you are her namesake. Don't you like it? I named you myself." He throws that unknown bit of information over his shoulder laughing as we get onto the freeway.

Millions of thoughts are racing through my mind. One being is he going to kill me...two am I his daughter. Three what does he want from me? Four where is Rebel. Five oh god, please don't let Rebel get hurt coming for me. Six what if I never get to see the birth of my niece or nephew. Seven, it can't end like this for me can it, nothing in my life has never made sense until now—Why Diablo was never able to love me in the way a father should have—Why I didn't look like either him or my mother—Why I never felt as though I knew my place in this world. My whole existence has been nothing but one lie after another.

So what was the point of everything I endured growing up, what was the point of Grim searching for me for all of those years if my real father knew exactly where I was, what was the point of anything Gypsy Red ever did. Were Baby and I pieces of a bigger puzzle, a bigger game our mother was playing in?

My thoughts continue in this fashion for a few hours before we stop off at a gas station, so that my father apparently can fill his tank.

**

It is well past midnight I am sure, when we reach our destination. My legs are weak; my eyes have grown so tired. I feel as though I could collapse at any moment. Rush throws me over his shoulder like a caveman, and I don't fight him, it's useless to try. He carries me into a warehouse that is filled with shipping crates.

"Where are we," I ask taking in my surroundings trying to make out an address anything to give me any indication of where we are. Nothing stands out to me though; maybe my eyes are too heavy.  He drops me roughly on the floor of an office. He throws a book at me, "here some reading material to keep you entertained." He slams the door shut locking me in from the outside. Fear spikes a rush of adrenaline through me as I look for anything to help me escape this room. I search the cabinets, all the desk drawers; I cannot even find an ink pen. My curiosity peaks as I flip open the book he gave me, holy shit it is the diary of Gypsy Red—my mother.  I finger through the pages furiously trying to find if she ever wrote about me. My heartbreaks as I read the truth, my mother birthed a daughter, her name Sarah, her father Winston Rush.

Rebel

** Ohio**

We meet up with Grim and Romeo way into the early morning hours. It took us a lot of phone calls and favors but we finally found the address for the district we believe Rush is holding Rumor in.  We park our bikes about a mile away, so we can scout the area and sneak up on Rush hopefully undetected, it is unknown whether he is working alone or not.

Fuck there are eight different warehouses on this block.  Grim divides us up to go looking for Rumor, no one is to make a move on Rush without his order. Grim sends Tread with me, pairing Trouble and Striker. He and Romeo are going to search on their own. I don't like the idea of us all being split up but we are short on options at this point. My cell buzzes with a text from Grim as I am searching alongside Tread in the second warehouse. Grim has had contact from Rush it seems. Grim agreed to meet with him, but told him it would take him some time to get there, well here actually. Our tip paid off.

When I get to the warehouse we are supposed to meet Grim at something feels off. Tread and I are the first here or so it seems. I nod to Tread and we both agree to do a search of the outside perimeter. I can't get a response from Grim on his cell, this building seems to be blocking my signal.  Tread enters the building from the back and I take the stairs. When I get inside I immediately spot Grim below being held at gunpoint by Rush, fuck this is bad.  I can't see Rumor anywhere. Tread circles around from the other side  joining me upstairs as we look over the railing. Grim sees us but he doesn't give any signal. I don't know what to do. I send Tread to look for Rumor while I cover Grim. I sneak down the stairs and take cover behind a pallet of shipping crates. Where in the hell is Romeo and the rest of the guys? I guess Tread and I were the closest to Grim. Minutes later Tread joins me with Rumor following close to his side.  I am trying to formulate a plan of attack but I can't get a good clear shot on Rush. He is pacing the floor too fast and in and out of my line of sight. I try to inch closer, but I stop when Rush begins to speak.

"There are things you need to understand, pieces to the puzzle if you wish that haven't been linked and I am here to fit them together for you, before I kill you dear brother of mine. I was two years old when our whore of a mother gave me up for adoption. Your pathetic excuse of a father made her do it. If she wanted to be with him, she couldn't bring her bastard son. Well you know the story. He moved her into his clubhouse, made her is whore. Then you were born, the golden child in our mother's eyes, until Hook decided he would never claim either of you. His wife would never allow it. Cue the sad song, your mother turns to drugs, she is willing to do anything, even trade you to get the fix she needed. Do you know brother it was I who asked her to trade you as payment. I was going to save you, but then you killed her—our mother. All you had to do was come with me willingly, but you ruined everything. We could have done many a great things together; we could have shared in the women, the money, and the power. But you were selfish." I watch as Rush tells Grim the ugly truth, sharing their history, filling in all of the gaps we never knew were missing. 

"You see brother; I was smarter than you though, I made a new plan. Wasn't she perfect, Gypsy Red, she was everything to me, she loved me and wanted to help me in seeking revenge. She too knew what it was like to feel unwanted, unloved, having no one to call family. I was her family. I intended to bring Hook down. I rose to his side quickly after you went your own way. I was always whispering in his ear, plotting and planning, your downfall as well. Benji was so easy to play. He and Hook both fell easily to my prey. They thought they were in control but Kara and I were pulling the strings. She even had Benji convinced that our daughter Sarah was his. And you brother...this is where it gets poetic and beautiful. Then you come into the picture the golden boy returns, the prodigal son to save the day, to save poor Gypsy Red from her fate. I really thought everything was going to plan, but then Kara had plans of her own that didn't include me, her plans included a new family with you and well she got what was coming to her for her betrayal." Rush stalks towards Grim, gun cocked ready, to pull the trigger, but he hesitates. It as if this grand finale he has been dreaming of isn't quite what he had hoped it would be.

"So brother, the mighty Grim Reaper can you feel the Rush," he laughs, the guy has gone mad, he's insane is the only word to describe it.

"That's a great story Rush, but you are forgetting one crucial part. No one gives a fuck, especially not me. You think I care that we are brothers and that you orchestrated some elaborate scheme to what make us all pay for your shitty meaningless life. Because your mother didn't love you. People get hurt, people die, but the world keeps turning either way. So go on kill me, get your revenge, and send me on my way to hell. But it won't change the fact that you are pathetic, no one will ever even remember your name. You leave nothing behind, no legacy. At least when people hear my name they know it means something brother. I lived my life; I loved a few good women, made a beautiful daughter, I am ready to go, do it you pussy. Pull that goddamn trigger or let me go either way, you are still just another piece of shit that will live out his life alone." Grim's confession seems to confuse Rush, was he expecting him to plead for forgiveness to want them to come out of this together as brothers?

Rush begins pacing the floor when I see my brother enter the room on the other side. Rumor is burying her head in my chest as sobs escape her throat as everything unfolds around us. I know she is petrified for Grim, but I know he will come out of this he always does. 

Don't do it
. I see my brothers face, he is getting ready to charge Rush when his phones clangs against floor shattering. Rush turns to Striker, aiming his gun right for him. I shove Rumor to the ground knowing I will be too late. Grim is closer and takes the opportunity to slam into Rush, the gun fires as Trouble jumps in front of my brother, taking a bullet in the chest.

It all happens so fast. Grim is wrestling Rush for the gun. Romeo comes swooping in and puts an end to the scuffle sending Rush straight to hell with the barrel of his colt 45.  Striker is pressing his shirt over the gaping wound in Trouble's chest. I run over to my brother to make sure he wasn't hit as well. Leaning down over the two of them, I listen as Striker asks Trouble what he was thinking.  He shakes him, "You have a baby on the way why would you do that. You are so fucking stupid; Baby is counting on you why did you jump in front of me?"

With a labored breath, "No man, she is counting on you, you are going to be a father." Fuck, is all I got right now, as I watch my brother crying holding onto Trouble as he fades away taking one last shallow breath, blood is dripping from his mouth. "Tell Baby; tell her I did it...for her...always for her."

"Come on man stay with me," Striker is gritting through his teeth. He pounds on his chest, "don't you die on her you motherfucker, don't you do it." He slams his bloody fists into the chest of a dead man. I feel like I am in a daze, as Rumor wraps her shaking fingers around my shoulder. I don't know what to do for my brother, for Rumor, for Baby...oh fuck, how are we going to tell Baby, he's gone.

We all sit motionless, speechless as we stare down at Trouble. Grim doesn't know what to do or say. He knows this pain, and knows he has to deliver the same pain he felt when she was born to her—the pain he felt when her mother died...

Rumor

They say the truth will set you free, but if anything for me, it has only brought me more pain. How can I ever face my sister after this? The man she loves is dead. I feel like this is all my fault. Reading through my mother's diary it is apparent that I was born to be a weapon for Rush to use against Benji, but their plan changed, her feelings for Rush were fading, his fun and games no longer felt right, what was they fighting for anyway she wrote. I close the book and try to get some sleep. Rebel, Striker, Tread, Grim and Romeo are on their way home to Drag Creek with Trouble's body to break Baby's heart.

I am back in my apartment in
Chicago. Everything that happened brought back my old feelings and insecurities. I told Rebel we were through, that there was no way after the past two days that I can ever be an old lady. To ever suffer that pain of losing the man you love most, the father of your child, I could never bear it. Rebel thinks I just need time to cool off, that I need to absorb everything before making hasty choices. But I know I can't live that life. Aspen was right I need to really experience life outside of the club.  She is still in the hospital recovering from her gunshot wound to the leg. Rush came here first looking for me, but found Aspen instead. I am surprised he didn't kill her, he didn't seem like a man who would show leniency or mercy. In a way, I think he wanted to die and Grim knew that. I think it is why is kept telling him to shoot him because he knew he wouldn't, not that I think Grim is scared of dying. That is twice that man has came to my rescue. He wrapped me in his arms and told me that no matter what anyone else had to say about it I would always be his daughter. That blood had nothing to do with it, though it seems no matter who my blood father is albeit Benji or Rush, Grim is my uncle.

How can he love me after knowing the truth of my existence, I don't deserve him or any of the Black Rebel Riders', I suppose I truly am a Devils Reject. I gave him Gypsy Red's diary. If anyone deserves to know the truth, to read her secrets it is he. I don't know if Baby could handle what's inside of it. I told Grim to do what he wished with it. I never want to read it again. That books holds so many secrets, so much hurt...so much heartbreak. My mother predicted her own death in that book. She didn't believe she deserved happiness after all of the horrible things she partook in.

Baby keeps calling me, she knows I am home, but I can't talk to her, if I do I am afraid I will break and have to tell her the awful unforgiving truth, Trouble is dead no thanks to me and she will never get him back. Moreover, even if Trouble wouldn't have stopped that bullet from hitting Striker, Striker would have been hit and I would be responsible for his death as well.  I can't face anyone back in Drag Creek, I just can't. I send the call to voicemail, feeling like the most horrible sister on the face of the earth.  I know I should be there for her when the news comes but I can't. Therefore, I call the only other person I know Baby loves more than anything in this world. I call Foxie and I open up the floodgates pouring all of my heart into my confession.